Brie Gowen

Savor the Essence of Life

Why I Haven’t Been Blogging.

by

I don’t know if anyone has even noticed, but I haven’t been blogging like I used to do. I’ve been writing regularly on this site for eight years, and I’ve always loved it, until recently. I’m sure some people have assumed I haven’t been as vocal because I’ve been busy working a pandemic as an ICU nurse, and while I have been swamped at the bedside, that’s just not the reason. It’s more disappointing than that.

I have always found joy in sharing the things that the Lord has laid upon my heart. Even when I received angry critiques, death threats, or online harassment, I laughed it off. I knew God had given me the gift and calling to write what I perceived the Holy Spirit was speaking. I never doubted that calling or that gift of knowledge and discernment. And I don’t doubt it now. Not sharing a word on this website has been like ending a relationship with a dear, longtime friend, yet despite the heartache, I simply have been too weary to pick it back up. In essence, as I told a family member recently, I have become disillusioned. This disappointment and awakening to reality has made sharing my thoughts so very hard.

Approximately a year ago it really came to a head. I’ve always heard that you can really see what you’re made of when the heat is turned up. Gosh, this is so true. 2020 really turned up the flame under our lives collectively, and I sadly started noticing what people were made of. It wasn’t the world at large that broke my heart; it was the Christian community. The “church,” the collection of those who claimed Jesus as their Savior, for a large part, were reacting to the heat in a way that did not reflect the character and example of Christ. I’ve always loved the verse that states you will know a tree by its fruit, or when Jesus himself said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:35).”

I haven’t seen the love. In fact, I’ve seen quite the opposite. I always enjoyed sharing what God was teaching me and revealing to my heart. I never claimed to know it all, and I was always quick to say that I’m a work in progress. I learned that laying down pride and humbling myself daily to the Holy Spirit is so important, because in this posture He reveals His heart to ours. By listening to His direction in humble submission I can see where I have been wrong in the past. And boy, was I wrong.

You see, a large part of me enjoyed the accolades from my fellow Christians. I had not always been a Christian. I didn’t start reading scripture regularly and daily until my thirties. So, as a “newer” believer, I leaned heavily on the church and elders I respected to guide me. Approximately three or four years ago, when I committed to hours of Bible study and quiet time at least 4 days a week, I started to notice a disconnect between the scripture and the behavior of many religious people. In other words, the fruit wasn’t there. Again, this discernment wasn’t from a position of pride. It wasn’t like I thought, “gosh, look at all these church folks not following Jesus like me!” No, it wasn’t like that. More than anything, it was a sad revelation. I became aware of a religious heaviness and spiritual oppression that persisted in some areas. I could feel it. It was heartbreaking.

I continued my seeking daily of God’s will as the years went by. My family sold all our possessions. We went from having everything to basically having nothing. Nothing but each other and God, that is. In this season of casting off the world we found a deeper walk with the Lord. We found God’s priorities for our family. We discovered how to trust Him more deeply and depend completely on His leading. It was glorious!

Along our season of walking deeper with Jesus, came an awakening to the world around us. We became more aware of how we could please the Lord in our daily lives. We changed our actions and behavior based on scripture. We wanted to walk in the Fruits of the Spirit, at all times! Even when the heat got turned up, it seems.

In 2020 the whole world caught fire, but it seemed to me that it was the church that let themselves get burned the most. Not at first. At first everyone was very loving to their neighbor, but as it got hotter out there, the rotten fruit came out. Again, please understand this doesn’t come from a place of pride for me. This comes from a place of heartache for my brothers and sisters in Christ. I haven’t spoken because my heart hurts too much to have uttered a word.

Somewhere in the fire of lockdowns, sickness, and financial strain, my brothers and sisters became very angry. I didn’t have a problem with the anger. I mean, I got angry too. The problem was where the anger was projected.

The Christian community is quick to say “it’s not a battle of flesh and blood we fight, but a spiritual one against the forces of darkness. Like, every believer I’ve ever met will agree. So my question is, why have we been fighting flesh and blood?!

I do blame social media for a large part of the problem. We live in a sinful world, born with a sinful nature of this world, and social media has been more than happy to feed that fleshly character. I have seen blatant, political propaganda be slurped up happily like it was the Gospel, and in this vehicle of political and religious angst, I’ve seen the church derail. Instead of a battle of good and evil, where God always wins in the end, we’ve lost our Kingdom-view glasses, and we’ve started a battle of us against them.

Republicans versus Democrats

BLM versus All Lives Matter

Like, you can’t support the police and support justice and equality.

Somewhere along the way we labeled everything that didn’t fit into our box as unGodly and bad. Vaccines became bad. While they’ve always been a way to combat disease, they suddenly became a way to “take away freedom.” I’m not sure where this started, but it really took off! It became a trend that if you were a Christian you couldn’t get vaccinated. False information began to fly around. Some of the most ridiculous and false information I’ve ever seen. Suddenly the Covid vaccine contained baby parts and changed your DNA. Don’t even get me started on the magnets and chip discussions. But I digress.

I don’t want this post to be about the vaccine. You can love Jesus and decide not to get the Covid vaccine. That’s not the point of this. The point is, people began to widely accept unvalidated, false info. The point is, Christians started believing we were in a battle of flesh and blood, that the pharmaceutical companies (flesh, real men and women), that the Democrats (flesh, real men and women), that the president (flesh, a real man) was out to destroy them. Instead of putting faith in God, or trusting Him to fight our battles of a spiritual nature, we took to horses and chariots to fight the flesh of those who oppose us.

I have heard preachers state the Democrats are trying to attack the church and take away our freedom to worship. There’s no thought of the Lord fighting for us, but only how we must arm ourselves with rifles to keep them sinners out!

We don’t see people as children of God. We see them as the enemy.

Our fruits are not patience, peace, gentleness, kindness, and especially not self-control. The fruits of many Christians have become rage, judgment, selfishness, and the exact opposite of love.

Christians have been proclaiming “faith over fear” and wrongly assuming that getting a vaccine or wearing a mask is fear. Those things aren’t fear. They’re wise, selfless, scientifically proven ways to decrease virus transmission. The real fear is the fear of losing our man-made religion! The Bible states nothing can separate us from His love, yet we’re afraid of the democrats closing our church building! Doesn’t add up, guys. The real problem today is fear among Christians. The Bible states there is no fear in love, yet proclaimed Christians are afraid of governmental control, vaccine and mask mandates, and liberal lawmakers. That makes it seem like maybe love isn’t there, since fear is so prominent. I mean, the fruit isn’t speaking like we’re His disciples. Just saying.

When the Holy Spirit began speaking to my heart how to bear His fruit and be a disciple of His love, I tried sharing this with my Christian followers. The problem was, while my words were based on scriptural truth and the words of Jesus Christ, they didn’t coincide with the popular thoughts of the Christian Church (of this world) and religion. So, while my blog posts gave a WWJD, kingdom view, they upset the religious realm of this world. Therefore, my thoughts were met with anger. In fact, met with rage! I was vehemently persecuted like I was Satan himself. I was called a “baby murderer” when I questioned if the former president’s behavior was something a lover of Jesus could support. I was attacked in flesh and blood as if who held a political office was a kingdom matter that meant the tie-breaker for who won the spiritual battle at the end of times. Do we see the problem here?

I stopped writing because the deception that tells man that his religious practices and political affiliation will save him, was too deep for me to speak against. I stopped writing because the false narrative was so much more tasty for people to ingest than God’s truth according to scripture. I stopped writing because I became disillusioned with how people I had loved, trusted, and respected in the Christian community could treat other humans with so much hatred and disdain. It broke my heart to the point of paralyzing me to speak on it.

Will I write again after this post? I hope so. I write for God, and God is love, and sharing His love is my calling. I want to share His love here. I hope I can share it by modeling it. I hope I can model it by loving my enemy, by bearing good fruit, and by encouraging others to do the same. We can be disciples, but we will only ever be an exclusive club rather than His church and bride if we can’t draw people to His heart by love. Our politics won’t win souls to Jesus. Our anger, rage, and judgmental behavior of those who believe differently than us certainly will not. So, maybe I’ll start trying again to model that love. That love that knows no fear, that love that is patient and kind. That does not envy, boast, and is not proud. Love that does not dishonor others, and is not self-seeking, not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Love that does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres (1Corinthians 13). I will persevere.

Comments

  3. Paula says

    I am so happy to read your posts again. I have missed it and your writing. It provides introspection for myself and I always read your posts several times over and then spend days thinking and praying on what you have written. It is like a starting point for me to go deeper. Thank you for that and PLEASE do NOT stop sharing.

  5. Paula Graves says

    Please continue writing, I truely enjoy what you have to say. I feel you are correct in what you reported in this blog. We need to stand and hold the line. God is taking care of us because He loves us.

      • Lisa Pierce says

        Brie, you know I have enjoyed your blog for several years. I pray the Holy Spirit leads you to return to writing, but that is between you and God. I hope you know you are inspiring lives everywhere with your uplifting blog posts, myself especially. I may not always comment but I always read them. I love the picture. You look so much happier and rested than the last photo you shared. It dang near broke my heart.
        You have spoken so much truth in this post, as always, and I understand (to a certain degree) why you needed a break. God was allowing you a much needed time of mental and spiritual rest. I’m not even going to talk about the contents of this blog. You said it all perfectly.
        Just know that I among many have your back and are praying for you. Just keep doing what God leads you to do. Maybe it’s time to write that book! Love and blessings. And may the Lord guard your heart and mind and give you peace.
        Your Sister in Christ,
        Lisa

  6. Anne says

    Brie, I found you in the midst of the Pandemic, and your comments helped me so much. When I was being told I was wrong, you helped me to see that my views were not crazy! When friends were cut off, church went online, and we were fighting for our lives (or the lives of loved ones with immune-compromised health issues), you made me feel like I was not alone. When church leadership reached out when we didn’t agree with choices that were being made, and scolded us, yet did NOT reach out when we were struggling, your blog helped me to see that this was not an isolated incident. And, like you, during the past two years, although I have been consistently disappointed by people I respected, I have never been so close to my Jesus! HE has come through time and time again. All this to say, please don’t let discouragement stop you from writing! You are making a difference and you are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

  7. Wade Mitchell says

    Hard times are one way that God uses to separate the wheat from the chaff. Continue to write your blog and state your heartfelt beliefs, based in scripture. Don’t be afraid. Stand your ground and fight the good fight. Don’t shy a way from stating your case with love and respect for other views, even if they don’t do the same.

  8. Natalie Calk says

    Sometimes we have to step back and regain focus. Your content of your blogs shifts and I would encourage you to revamping your blog with scriptural sharing and prayer shares that stay focused to Jesus and not the medical world. Covid isn’t going anywhere so political views need to be aside while we all stay focused to His Word. Hang in there! God has a plan he is paving for you right now; go back to what desired your will to blog initially – the sharing and RELATING of God’s word in your life. 🙌💪💯‼️

    • brieann.rn@gmail.com says

      Thank you for commenting. For the past eight years I’ve written nursing posts, parenting posts, marriage posts, Christian posts, posts about injustice, etc. All these things are facets of my life. So grateful we can use the Holy Spirit to guide us in all things.

  9. Penni Bulten says

    We all must make our choices on the basis of what God is leading us to do, regardless of how they are interpreted by others. If the Scripture leaves liberty for whether one eats meat or not, then there should also be liberty for at least those who have already obtained natural immunity and quarantined voluntarily before the vaccines came out, or those who are allergic to one or more of the vaccines ingredients, or have had an adverse reaction to a prior COVID Shot, or those with conscience objections to not choose to be vaccinated. There should be no division because of this, either against the unvaccinated (for these reasons) or the vaccinated. We are not to judge each other on the basis of unessential matters, regardless. Thank you for trusting us with your thoughts and perspective on this.

  10. Nancy Alexander says

    Beautifully written and I pray people will listen and consider. During this crazy time I have had to take a break from the news media as I find it discouraging and depressing. I grow tired of the negativity not only on the news but on social media. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus the author and perfector of our faith. So many people have forgotten He is the Victor, the battle is not ours and they have lost sight of the kingdom view. As you stated we are called to love one another. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I truly appreciated hearing from you and hope you continue to be a light in the darkness.

  11. Tina Simpson says

    You have written what I could not put into words but I agree with 100%. You have been a voice of love, reason and common sense for many of us. You have helped me with the lonilness and frustion I too have had with my Christian friends and my own Christian family members. It has been a painful road the last 2 years to watch my brothers and sisters fall for all the disinformation and post such viterol that I had to distance myself from them. The frustration and pain has been too much for me but when I read your posts I know the Lord still has a Christian soilder fighting the good fight. Your posts encourage me to not give up but to continue to pray and seek my Father. PLEASE continue to use your God given gift of writing to encourage and bless so many of us that feel the same but cannot verbalize it. From one grateful Nurse to another, THANK YOU Briann !!!

  12. Marla Willard says

    Brie,
    I have been following your blog for a few years and I have always found it to be encouraging and insightful. As a Christian, a mother and someone who works in the medical field, I have been able to relate to and appreciate your views on all of the topics that you write about .
    Please, don’t stop writing! You have a gift and I am sure that many people have been able to learn and gain new perspectives from your writings.

    Hope this gives you just enough encouragement to keep writing ! Compared to all the haters and naysayers, there are most likely a innumerable amount of people who’s lives are impacted by your words.

  13. Jus Olah says

    Please keep writing…if you are able!
    Your posts have always spoken the truth of God’s heart and love.
    As a fellow ITU nurse, the last 18 months have been so, so tough. Facing the criticism, being told by fellow-believing family members that you’re just lying and making up information, that your information is wrong and has been fed to you… absolutely IS disillusioning and can be so overwhelming when suffering trauma after watching so much suffering. It has felt soul-destroying watching people rip each other apart and deny your lived-truth.
    I feel you. I hear you.
    All the solidarity with you.
    Huge amounts of love. Rest in His peace ❤️ (red heart)

  14. Daniel says

    Thank you so much for your posts Brie, they have been and continue to be an immense blessing for me and my family. Please do keep posting and persevere. I’ve experienced similar heartache. Ps 143:8-11 has now become a daily prayer: “Cause me to hear Your loving kindness in the morning, For in You do I trust. Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift my soul to you….” Pray for encouragement and strength for you and the family.

  15. Carolyn Dobbins says

    Brie, Many of us love and appreciate you. I know the loudest voices are the ones that attack and hurt, but we only need to look to the example of Paul to know the necessity of persevering. “At my first defense, NO ONE came to my support, but EVERYONE deserted me. . . .but the Lord stood by my side and gave me strength, so that the message might be fully proclaimed” (2 Timothy 4:16-17 NIV). Be encouraged and press on, knowing Who is standing by you.

  16. Sonny Sue says

    Agree totally, “I have seen blatant, political propaganda be slurped up happily like it was the Gospel, and in this vehicle of political and religious angst, I’ve seen the church derail. Instead of a battle of good and evil, where God always wins in the end, we’ve lost our Kingdom-view glasses, and we’ve started a battle of us against them.”

    A lot of these old boomers (and young doomers) watch CNN or Fox or both and that is their god. No bible cracked or needed. When Fauci says be in fear and trembling, never leave the house, get 12 vax and demand your grandkids not come over until they get vaxxed (they are still too young for it) just like Jesus would have done. He was scared to approach the lepers and all.

    Parents on both sides refuse to see grandkids for 2 years now and grandkids don’t understand and the relationships are really suffering. It’s not the same just talking on phone (neither parent set does facetiming / video conferencing). My folks only talk about covid… it’s their only pathetic motivation for anything in “life” now. This is truly a spiritual battle and Satan is winning.

  17. Nancy Obrigewitsch says

    Brie,
    I truly have been enlightened by your posts many times. Although you may feel the darkness surrounding you please know that you are sending out so much radiance with your posts that I know in my heart they are whispered from God. I feel some people are closed off yes but others hearing what you have to say will open their hearts even more and become stronger in God’s love. I know I have. Thanks for your courage and strength to put your thoughts and words out there for us to read.

  18. linda McCormack says

    Hi. I hope you keep writing. We in Britain have noticed in America all the things you have written about and it is heartbeaking but true. I am not an evangelical Christian, I would call myself progressive. When I have been reading how evangelical christians talk about trump, there is no difference when they talk bout Christ, as though they worship at the feet of trump and all he stands for. Hang in there..do not let the attitudes of others shut you up, easier said than done I know. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and if there is anything practical I can do for you let me know..even all the way from Scotland. xx

  19. Tyberius says

    I’m very saddened to hear that you have not been writing for the response of those previous articles. There is no doubt that we are living in very difficult times made worse by political and social unrest. However, I would encourage you to take heart in what you said were both morally and scripturally accurate. You should not think it strange that fiery trials will try you, as the Apostle Peter warns us (1 Peter 4:12). Surely if Jesus was maligned and attacked, so too will be His people. As another writer has said, “When you’re under attack, take refuge in the Lord as your righteous defender” as he referenced Psalm 5:1-7. Please, please, please continue to speak out and do all you can to stand against the evil of this time and be encouraged that if God be for us no one can be against us (Romans 8:31). You are in my prayers!

  20. Roger A Burrell says

    Brie,
    I have enjoyed your writing for a very long time. My wife and I taught high school girls for 12 years. I shared some of your information and encouragement with them and I believe to this day that it made a difference in their lives.
    I can understand your disillusionment with how the brothers and sisters of Christ treat each other. I feel the same way. You articulate your words so well and I hope that you will allow God to continue to use you to be a voice in a dark world.
    Blessings ‼️