Brie Gowen

Savor the Essence of Life

What Christians Need Most

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As I left work last night I marveled at the pink and lavender sky as the sun began its descent along the horizon. It had been a pretty good day. I mean, it had been a long day. Thirteen hours on your feet never felt short, and looking at a step-counter on my phone, I had walked a few miles to boot. The patients had been challenging, and I felt a dull throb in my lower back from lifting, pulling, and holding two times my body weight every two hours throughout the day. But still, it had been a pretty good day.

“Thank you for a good day, Lord,” I spoke out loud.

I smiled. Despite the full, long day, despite the weariness around the edges, I felt good. I felt joy. There was a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness was dependent on your situation. The day before I had been very happy while I floated in the pool, but as I made the drive home, feet tired and brain frazzled, I felt that river of contentment flowing through my being.

What made life like this? I wondered.

And just as quickly I thought, the fruit of the spirit.

It seemed to permeate most of my day. It had changed how I interacted with coworkers, patients, a stranger in line at the store, my spouse, and everyone in between. It had changed me. I had not always been so patient or even so kind. I had not always been loving, and I certainly wasn’t the epitome of self control. Even now, I am the furthest from perfect as anyone can be, but I have seen myself grow over the past few years. And because of such, my life has improved dramatically.

I know why, and I saw something run across the news lately that especially brought this to the forefront of my mind. One huge decision I had made in my life had flipped it upside down, which honestly meant it was right side up. Isn’t it funny how what the world tells us is correct, nine times out of ten, that’s just not true? I discovered real truth is only found in one place, but I’m astounded by how many don’t even consider it as important. I mean, they know it is, but knowing and doing are two different things entirely.

The national news story that I came across happened to have occurred less than fifteen minutes from the town I grew up in, and though I no longer lived there, it made me sad to see such horrible happenings become attached to my hometown. It was disappointing but not all together surprising. I had been raised there, after all, and I could recall hearing the same thing from some people in the small, Southern Baptist church that I had entered my teenage years attending, but had never returned to after college.

It seems that a woman was caught on video denying wedding services to another woman because the couple to be wed were an interracial couple. You can catch details of the story here, but to sum it up the owner of the establishment stated they were denying their services due to their “Christian” beliefs that interracial marriage was a sin. In other words, she was implying God was against mixing races, and was quoted as saying she “wasn’t going to argue her beliefs.”

I must say I was pleased with the majority response from friends in the area. They were appalled by the situation, and some very strong worded about it. A few others offered grace, and it was through such a source that I saw a personal response on the owner’s Facebook page a few days later. I have to give the woman applause for admitting she was wrong, and while I in no way condone or approve of her opinion, I do think it was very good for her to publicly admit her fault.

In her public apology she confessed that she had always assumed this particular instance (interracial relationships) to be mentioned in scripture, but at her husband’s prodding she had found it was not. After studying her Bible and seeking Godly counsel from her pastor, she realized her long-held “belief” was strictly passed down intolerance. Nowhere in the Bible did it claim this to be a sin, but since she had been raised by other humans to believe it was, that became her truth.

And that’s where our problems lies, ladies and gentleman. We are a generation of busy Christians, Christians much too hurried to have time for the Bible. We assume Sunday is enough, flipping rapidly through whatever verse the preacher reads out loud, forgetting that the man on the pulpit is also just a man. We forget that we must glean the scriptures ourselves for God’s truth, that per His instruction we must meditate on it day and night.

What happens instead is that we start accepting the world’s truth as God’s truth. We think success is found through possessions, that healing just through the hospital. We lose sight of who God is, that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So we assume miracles are something from Old Testament Times, and that now it’s up to us to make our own way.

What happens is we push people away from Jesus. We’re so busy relying on man-made and mankind adapted rules and religious, pharisaical dos and don’ts that we lose sight of truth. We forget the greatest command of them all because we aren’t daily submerged in God’s Word! We remember how to play church, but we forget how to love!

What happens is we become depressed and anxious. We worry about things we can’t control. We look at man to save us! Bail me out of this jam, loan man. We stay up all night long trying to figure out how to solve our dilemmas. Meanwhile God is just waiting for us to ask. Maybe we get overweight or we develop a problem with drinking, gambling, pornography. We’re just so lonely, empty, and hopeless, and we search all over for something to fill the vacant places. Never once do we crack the Bible to find the answers there.

Hard day at work? Let’s go get a drink! That’ll fix it. Smh. Hey, I’ve been there. No judgment here. All I know, from personal experience, is that the next morning my head hurt and my problem still existed. It wasn’t until I read the Bible and learned how to view my job that work no longer sucked. Just being honest.

See, what happens is we think babies in the womb aren’t a life until they get on the outside, like maybe a hotdog in the package isn’t food until we finish cooking it on the grill and throw it in a bun. Hey, my three year old holding a cold wiener straight from the pack may disagree, but I’ve heard crazier things.

I’ve heard that you can fill your mind with horrific images via movies or your music, without any consequences to your spirit. I’ve heard you can ask for good vibes on Facebook while consulting your psychic and get your grandma to pray to Jesus for you all at the same time. You really want to cover all the bases for best results. It’s okay to lie if no one finds out, and cussing out someone on the freeway is fine and dandy. Oh, and you don’t really have to give 10% in the offering plate anymore if you need the money for something else. I mean, who do you think provides for us? Us, of course!

So what happens is we end up thinking we don’t need God everyday. We drift along happily with our fancy life, planning our parties and running up our credit card bills for more stuff we don’t need. But then when our child gets really sick we cry out to Jesus.

Oh, Jesus, why won’t you answer me?!

Give Him a minute. Maybe He’s trying to place your voice. After all, He hasn’t heard it in six months.

What happens is we believe lies from Satan. We don’t think they’re from Satan. We don’t even really think about him. He’s mentioned somewhere in the Bible, but the preacher only mentions the devil when he talks about Hell, and you’re not going there. You’re saved by the blood of Jesus. You’re a Christian. Your youth leader told you so! What happens is we become Christian only in title; we lose sight of living like one. We forget that to be a Christian is to be a follower of Christ, and to follow the ways of Jesus you have to read what He said, what He did, what He sacrificed for you. You have to be brought to literal tears when you read how much He gave so that you could live! But instead we spend our time binging Netflix and crying over our latest romance novel.

You know what? I love me some Netflix. I won’t deny it. But nothing comes before the truth. Nothing.

To walk in freedom, to bear the fruits of the spirit, and to lead a joyful, hopeful, wonderful life that is lacking no thing we must read the Bible! I know, I know. I too used to think that was just something people said. You think that praying is enough, that going to church on Sunday is enough, that wearing shirts with scripture on them is enough, that hanging out with other Christians is enough, that growing your hair long or being submerged in water just in itself is enough, that wearing a cross around your neck and flying the flag of Israel in your yard is enough (yeah, I saw the flag hanging next to it that evokes feelings of division and hate, but that’s a blog for another day). The point is, none of it is enough, and because this stuff can take the place of God’s Word in your life, it’s actually a lie straight from Hell. Your “salvation” is really your veil that covers your eyes, and it’s the stumbling block that makes others fall. Only in Spirit and Truth will we find the wholeness that God can provide. Listen, I’m not saying you’re going to Hell if you never read your Bible. There’s only one judge up in here. But I am saying that if you want to live a full, free, joyful life then you have to dig deeper. You have to read God’s Word.

How do I know this? I mean, besides scripture saying it’s so? I see it in my life. Over the past eight years I have been on a journey of growth with the Lord, and the biggest breakthrough began to occur when I submerged myself in the scriptures. I began to crave more of Him, and it filled me to read His Word. Over time the words of truth bled into my life and they transformed me. How I viewed myself, how I viewed others, and how I viewed the world all changed. I began to see everything through the eyes of Christ. But it wasn’t just that.

I found joy. True, lasting joy. I got rid of fear once and for all. I kicked anxiety to the curb. I learned how Jesus could help me deal with my depression. Of note, because I see feathers ruffling already, I take a medication to help with hormonal mood swings and depression. I am a nurse, after all, and I do believe God gave us the brains to develop healthcare, but I also know my Healer works in me in conjunction.

I’ve found my life is more fulfilling, my marriage is happier. Like, I fall in love with my husband more and more each day. Of note, he reads the Bible everyday also. We do it together. God’s truth carries our marriage to places it could never go without Him. Our marriage is so successful because of Jesus, and knowing the Bible helps us know how to treat one another as Christ would.

Y’all, I could go on and on about how God’s Word fed into my life has changed everything for the better, but I know you don’t have all day. I don’t want you reading this much longer anyway. I want you reading your Bible!

The point is, you can belief what your family has always said, what your friends say, and what the world deceives you into believing. You can do this, still find salvation, but have a rough road until Jesus returns. Or… you can read His instruction manual now (because He told us in there what to do until He returns), and find some joy and contentment here on earth. Am I saying life is perfect if you read your Bible? Heck, no. But it sure is a lot easier with truth on your side. Plus, the side effects are phenomenal.

Is Satan Stealing Your Sunday Mornings?

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You walk into the kitchen and glimpse your husband beside the coffee maker. He’s standing there, motionless with his cup, not drinking it, but just staring out the window. You know there’s nothing astonishing in the backyard to behold. He’s simply in a morning trance. You sigh silently and trudge, fully dressed into the living room, leaving your spouse, still in his boxers, wasting time. This is how you see it.

In the next room the children sit transfixed on the television. They’re drinking the chocolate milk you made, eating the quick breakfast you prepared, and they haven’t even started to get dressed. On the couch, in neat stacks lay the clothes you laid out for everyone the night before. All they have to do is put them on.

And so goes Sunday morning. You will have been up for hours already. You woke everyone with plenty of time to get ready, but when it comes down to it you know it will be like moving heaven and earth to get everyone out the door.

Someone will have to poop at the last minute, and if you have one in diapers they will definitely doodoo when it’s time to go. Usually after they’re strapped in the car seat.

Shoes will go missing, even if you set them out the night before.

Feet will outgrow shoes that fit a week ago, and hem lines that were fine last month will suddenly be far too short.

Someone will drop toothpaste on their shirt.

Your husband won’t move near as fast as you think he should. In fact, no one will understand the urgency of timeliness like you prefer.

You’ll encounter the worst tangle in your child’s hair of all time, and that will be after looking everywhere for the brush for far too long.

You won’t think your own outfit is flattering in the least, but you’ll still manage to throw something on in time to get out the door. The rest of the family, though, that’s another story.

It will seem like a personal conspiracy against you. No one will know how to button buttons, zip zippers, or undo knots. The mother of all wrinkles will appear on your pants, but don’t try to iron them, you’ll end up with one of those stubborn, hard water stains. Trust me.

The dog will need water, and so will everyone else. Then they’ll all have to pee.

The lights will all turn red, and your spouse will say something really annoying when you’re already on edge. You’ll think a time or two, “am I the only one that can do anything?!”

You’ll feel like you got ten people ready for church, just so you could be ten minutes (or more, if you’re me) late for service. When it comes time to get out of the car, everyone will move in slow motion. Like, super-slow motion. You’ll yell, and maybe not for the first time that morning. There might be tears. Maybe from the kids, maybe from you, maybe all of the above. You’ll rush into church with a smile plastered on your face, your heart raising from anger or anxiety, and ugly thoughts for that smart comment your husband made in the parking lot.

Why do you think getting ready for church on Sunday morning is so flipping hard?! Why are children especially uncooperative, tempers extraordinarily short, and Murphy’s Law so mean?

Do you think the Devil wants you happy on Sunday morning, or snapping at your spouse? What’s the best way Satan can keep you from really hearing the message the Lord has given your pastor? Why, by distracting you, of course. He’ll try to keep you out the door, period, but when that fails he finds it quite easy to close your ears to God’s word by filling your heart with anger. He’ll test your patience, stir discontent in your marriage, and whisper lies to your fragile mind.

Yes, lies! You’ll think it’s important that your daughter’s dress is pristine, that everyone’s shoes match, and that your own outfit is flattering and fashionable. You’ll focus on name brands over having a heart open to worship. You’ll be certain you do more on Sunday mornings than your partner, and you’ll also be extra sensitive to any comment that comes from his mouth.

More lies. You’ll actually believe that being five minutes late is the worst thing imaginable, that everyone is judging your holiness on how early you arrive or what seat you manage to land. This is the same Father of Lies who convinces you to whisper to your friend about what so-and-so is wearing that morning rather than sweeping your own front step.

You will actually, nine times out of ten, fall for these lies, and a morning in God’s House that could leave you spiritually charged and fulfilled, instead leaves you angry, exhausted, and empty. Church will feel like a chore, not a privilege, and you’ll only go out of some obligation you feel under the chokehold of religion. You won’t desire to go for more of Jesus.

Instead of training your children up in the way they should go you will teach them that church is a social event, a fashion show, a place to go and impress others. You’ll teach them that it’s not their heart that matters, or God’s opinion, but rather the opinion of man. You’ll show them angry parents who argue over frivolous matters, and they’ll equate Sunday with short fuses and silent treatments.

If Sunday morning is causing you distress it may be that you need a time out. The Sabbath was made for rest, not distress, and if Satan is distracting you from God’s best with Sunday morning stress, then maybe you should find your rest first. Cause the thing is, if you’re going to church angry then perhaps you might as well not go. Sure church is a great place to have the Lord break the chains of anger and anxiety, but if you’re too distracted to even let Him, then you need to recenter your focus. You need to re-evaluate what’s most important about Sunday morning. I’ll give you a hint; it’s not your wardrobe. It’s not even being on time, although that’s nice. It’s just hard with kids.

1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Here’s what’s most important. Love. And if you’re lacking in love on Sunday mornings then realize that Satan is distracting you from God’s best for you and your family. So when your children are just being kids, love them. They will learn more about God’s love through your actions at home. You can take them to Sunday school all you want, but the best lessons of love are taught at home. They can see Jesus best through your grace.

When you want to snap at your spouse, stop and consider what’s important. Is arriving five minutes sooner worth marital strife?

When you want to stress over perfect, matching outfits, stop and consider what garment is most beneficial. The Proverbs 31 Woman is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. Sometimes you just have to laugh at the insanity of missing shoes and surprise stains.

When you want to become upset over your own appearance or body image, stop and consider what God is looking for when you walk into His house. In His eyes you are fearfully and wonderfully made. He’s looking at your heart, not your hips. So if you’re becoming too concerned over how you appear outwardly at church, realize you’re serving man, not the Lord. It’s ok. We’re all a work in progress. Don’t take it as condemnation, take it as loving conviction from a Father who just desires your worship, not your best attire.

Ask yourself, is Satan stealing your Sunday mornings? It’s a question only you can answer, and it’s a struggle most of us face. So if you find yourself more irritable and stressed on Sunday mornings than anything then maybe it’s time for a heart change. Sundays are made for rest. It’s time to find it.

Growing Up Atheist

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I smiled as I thought about my five year old daughter, and it was at that moment I realized I was feeling better. I had been experiencing some pain in my body related to my pregnancy, and had voiced my frustration to my husband in earshot of our eldest. She had cuddled up beside me as I spoke, silently holding my bulging midsection as best as her tiny arms could manage. 

Suddenly she had spoken to me with certainty and very matter of fact, “I prayed for you, Momma. When you wake up tomorrow you won’t be hurting anymore.” Then she had trotted off happily. 

I was proud for my little lady, at all times, I suppose, but something about her childlike faith touched me at a place deep within, and I was then reminded of myself at age five. 

  
I can still recall a program that came on television during my kindergarten age days. It was aimed towards children, and it told the story of creation. At the time we were living in Los Angeles, California, in a small apartment, although it was much better than the motels we had been staying in prior. I watched the screen captivated by the images of a little man with a hammer, and I listened raptly to learn about how this figure, who I would later compare to Mario or Luigi, constructed the entire world with a ball peen hammer for no reason other than his own desires, or perhaps boredom. 

I watched with curiosity, but also apprehension. In my little heart this story just didn’t feel right, and I watched wondering, if the hammer guy didn’t make all this stuff, then who did?

I had heard mention of this invisible guy called God, and I speculated if he was responsible. I had never seen him, and we didn’t talk about him much at all. My mom had taken me to a place once or twice where they read us stories about how much this God loved us, but my dad had given her a hard time about taking me. 

“What, are you gonna follow all the rest of the sheep?!” He had asked incredulously, and had laughed and taunted her some more. 

We didn’t go back after that, but as I watched the miniature carpenter making a turtle on TV I pondered about the God who apparently was always thinking of me. 

Later in my life that God I wondered about would scoop up my mom and me, and He would place us in other circumstances, ones where we didn’t have to worry about disappearing dads and dwindling bank accounts. In this new life He would introduce us to trusting others, friendly folks, and a world where church every Sunday was the norm. 

In this new life I would hear more about that God who made me, without a little hammer, but rather with His mighty hand. And it would just sound right. More importantly it would feel right. 

But it would be years before I truly learned what the creator of the universe was capable of in my heart. 

I realize now that we were created with a purpose, and like an empty container we will always feel void until we are filled with the love of Jesus. We will always feel not quite right until we can walk with purpose in a relationship with the Lord, saturated in His Holy Spirit, healed by His forgiveness and unconditional affections. 

I spent the first part of my life not even knowing Him, but knowing something was amiss. Then I spent the next decade or more only partaking in a portion of the blessings He had in mind for me. It wasn’t until I came to understand how to commune with Him personally that I could reap the full reward of relationship. 

I am hoping to save my daughters the hardship of separation from Christ, and my goal is to show them what they are capable of if they follow Him with their whole heart. 

As I sit comfortably in the healing power of the Lord, and I reflect on the heartfelt prayers of my girl, I am pleased for how their little spirits soak Him up like a sponge. I am happy for the opportunity they have to experience Jesus. I know in this world they will be faced with trouble, but I am at peace with their futures having a foundation built on Christ. 

The Unexpected Thing That Happened When I Stopped Going to Church 

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This post came to mind after a recent conversation with a friend. “How do you stay close to God?” She asked. 

After the birth of my first child I found myself in a whirlwind of change. Naturally. Parenthood has a tendency to do that, but it my case it also accompanied a period of renewal for me. Though my body was bone tired, my spirit was energized. My first year of parenthood also happened to be a wonderful time for me as a child of God, and I found myself drawing closer into His welcoming embrace. 

Despite the cultivation of my spiritual relationship, I found myself mildly disappointed in my role as a mother. It wasn’t that I disliked being a parent. No. In fact I adored being a mom, and I felt a deep calling to give it my all. My sense of being disheartened came because I couldn’t do it more.  I worked a lot, and I desired to be home more, but it simply wasn’t financially feasible. I prayed about it constantly. 

Over three years ago I felt my prayers answered, and an opportunity arose to continue to bring home a full-time income with benefits, but only work part-time. My husband and I prayed about it, and we spoke to our pastor. Everyone was in agreement that this decision would benefit our family. It would allow me to be with my children more and serve my spouse more readily at home. It was a God-honoring choice for our family. 

But it also meant I would stop going to church. 

You see, this position happened to take place on the weekends, and it meant I would work on Sunday. Every. Single. Sunday. The whole Sabbath day. 

Pros and cons were weighed, and in the end we all decided it was for the best. I was excited, but a part of me worried. I was finally back in God’s will, and I was in a close relationship with the Lord. I didn’t want to see that suffer. Now that I would no longer receive nourishment for my soul on Sunday mornings I was concerned it might damage my spiritual growth. 

And this was what my friend asked me about. She was considering the same, weekend option. “How do you manage? How do you stay close with God?”

I was actually pleased when she stated she noticed it appeared from my writing that my relationship with Jesus had grown over the years, and since I too believed that to be true, I was glad she saw it. I had quit going to church on Sunday, and after over three years of missing Sunday services my relationship with God had grown exponentially. So how did I manage that?!

I think I learned something that sadly so many of us miss: a relationship with Jesus isn’t based on church attendance. 

That statement might ruffle some feathers. It certainly isn’t good for the church roster, but I believe it is true enough to repeat. A relationship with Jesus isn’t based on church attendance. And I’ll tell you why. 

Too often we assume that if we go to church every Sunday that we are set. And that’s all we do. There are some fantastic preachers out there, mine included, but if you’re counting on them to get you to heaven then you’re sorely mistaken. A relationship with the Lord can’t sustain itself, and it can’t thrive on a lesson learned in a hour one day a week. 

When I began working Sundays I was so worried my spiritual life would suffer that I decided to fight for it. I was off Monday through Friday, and I spent every free moment I had seeking His face. I prayed continually, and now speak to Jesus all day long throughout my waking moments. In fact I converse with Him right when my eyes open, even in the middle of the night. I made the choice to listen to His voice, and I spend as much time as I can manage in quiet time allowing Him to speak to my heart. 

I read the Bible frequently, and now His word is an everyday lamp for my feet. It gives me comfort in all things. I listened to recorded sermons during the week, and I surrounded myself with worship and praise music. I learned to depend on my relationship with God, and it became a lifestyle, not just a place I went a couple of hours on Sunday. 

I do go to a Bible study during the week, as I think it’s incredibly important and beneficial to commune with fellow believers. I also listen to sermons and teachings from pastors and preachers much more learned in scriptural truth than myself. I need that, and for that reason I think organized religion and church attendance is detrimental to the spiritual growth of a believer. I definitely think it’s needed for Christ followers. But the past four years have taught me that there’s more that you must have if you really want to thrive. 

Being pulled away from the church building, by decisions of my own, taught me that Jesus doesn’t live strictly in my church’s sanctuary. He lives in my heart. And building and sustaining a lasting relationship with Him requires commitment, diligence, and time. Not simply weekly attendance. Instead I attended to my communion with Him. 

So how do I do it? The way we all as children of God must do it. Time, wherever I may find it, time. Commitment, however I may achieve it, commitment. Determination, to obtain and maintain a close, personal relationship, determination. I haven’t perfected any of the above, but I continually strive to do it better. 

Now I pray continuously that the Lord will help me find a way back to my Sunday mornings at church. Honestly, I miss them. But for now I know I am where God wants me to be for my family. So I just continue to also be where I need to be with Him.