Brie Gowen

Savor the Essence of Life

Three Things God Says About COVID-19

by 22 Comments

Nothing brings character out quite like crisis. You will see some of the most courageous people charge into a burning building, but sadly, you will also see the ones who knock down the weak, trampling them to escape calamity. You will see people who instill fear, take advantage of a bad situation, yet also the helpers, the ones who pick up the fallen, serve the weak, despite their own trepidation, and give more than they take. I would like to think that all followers of Jesus fall into only one of the above mentioned categories, but sadly we all can fall to fear, panic, and survival of the fittest. Yet, in a time of chaos and uncertainty, I believe God calls His children to a deeper level of trust in Him. So, consider this a friendly reminder, to all of us who profess the faith, to follow the commands God has put forth for us in His word.

Without further ado, here are three things God is telling us amidst COVID-19.

1. Stay home! I want to put this as best as I can. I completely understand the fear of losing financial resources. I totally do. Most of us don’t have a huge savings built up, but I’m trying to encourage a kingdom mindset amongst all of this. I want my brothers and sisters out there to try and see this situation as an opportunity to grow deeper in dependence and relationship with Jesus, to not fear the waves that come, but trust the one who controls the storms. It’s not the boat that will save you; it’s the One who controls the ocean. He will provide.

Also, let’s think about what’s important. Is it staying current on bills or human life? Trust me as a healthcare provider on the frontline of this. It’s serious. People are dying. Maybe not you, the healthy twenty-something, but you can be without symptoms at the beginning of the virus and pass it along to people you do care about. Your grandparents, your friend’s immune compromised child. Life will always trump bank balance.

Then there’s this little nugget.

Romans 13:1-2 (NIV)

Submission to Governing Authorities

13 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

Please trust the experts in disease transmission on this. Let’s not listen to that mom in your private Facebook group.

I won’t say I believe every word from a politician’s mouth or especially the news, but I do obey the authorities God has placed over me. Our government has given very clear and strong recommendations, and a large number of people are still ignoring the highly educated, well established plans to slow the spread of this virus. You are hurting others, you are hurting yourself, and you are disobeying more than the president you don’t like. You’re disobeying scripture. Let’s humble ourselves under the authority God has placed over us, trust that His plans will prevail, and stay home! I’m a nurse and a Christian. I trust medical science, but above all my Savior. God has given us healthcare and healthcare providers with the knowledge to save us. Let’s trust that God-given wisdom that says staying home will keep this from getting bigger than our hospitals and medical supplies can handle. Please.

2. Stop hoarding food! I have had friends inquire of my family, if we have enough. Since we started living in an RV we have limited space for storage period. Our fridge is small, our pantry also. We can store about enough for a week for our family of five, and that means frequent grocery trips. This past week I went shopping after a twelve hour shift at the hospital bedside, and as most of you know, the shelves were bare. Yet as I made my way through the aisles I always found one to two of every item I needed, even if it wasn’t my typical brand. By the way, I only took one, leaving the other for the next person.

Matthew 6:25-27 (NIV)

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

I’m reminded of the Israelites in the desert. God provided enough manna for each day. Some tried to take more and keep it for the next day, but He caused it to spoil. He wanted them to understand that He was their provider, and they could trust Him to give exactly what they needed. I’ll bet there’s a lot of people today who may end up throwing out some food they bought in over abundance, never realizing that God wanted to show them what He could give them.

Jesus came showing us how to be servants, showing us that the first would be last, and the last first. He saw people in need and He fed them. Never once did He hold onto what God had given Him and not share with the rest. He didn’t take all the fish and bread from the little boy and split it with His disciples. He thanked God for the little He had, then God multiplied that gratitude to feed five thousand. Imagine the blessings we are missing out on because instead of thanking God for what we’ve been given that we need, we’re taking more than enough right out of the hands of the hungry. It’s going to rot.

2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Don’t let fear drive your actions. I love my family, and I feel the need to take care of them. I understand that you want to get your family what they need, but stop and consider the fact that fear is driving you to load up a shopping cart with sixteen cases of water and twelves packs of toilet paper.

Which leads us to the third yet biggest commandment He’s speaking during this time.

3. Do not fear!

I say it again. Do. Not. Fear. There’s a reason this is the most repeated phrase in scripture. You see, fear is from the devil, and fear is a liar. Is all this kinda scary? You betcha butt! I am walking into a lockdown, negative air pressure, isolation, COVID-19 unit at work. Tons of healthcare providers around the country are doing this. If we let fear rule our actions, we would shut them all in a room and let nature take its course, but no, we go in and provide the very best, life-saving care we can. Are we afraid of catching the virus, or perhaps spreading it to our family? Of course! But we don’t let fear dominate and rule our actions. The reason the Bible says so frequently not to fear is because God knows we will. Sin has created some really crazy, frightening things out there, but faith in Jesus gives us a mode to combat fear and not let it rule our hearts and lives. He has overcome all evil, and COVID is no different. Even death has lost its sting, y’all. I serve a creator who gives eternal life, and the gift He offers is bigger than the most fatal of diseases.

Do you think this surprises God? Do you think He is as shocked as we all are by the death toll in Italy? No!

Psalm 139:16 ESV

Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

God knows beginning to end. He knew this was coming, and He knows how it will end. He knows the solution. He knows the good that will come from this. What the enemy means for evil, God will turn to our good. We have a tendency to forget that.

God is whispering amongst the chaos,

come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. I will give you peace. I do not give as the world gives. Take comfort, for I have overcome the world. There it is. Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wasteland and streams in the desert. Hope like a river, it flows to those who trust in me. Do not be afraid. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Your foot will not strike the stone. I will rescue you.

If I were to offer any advice during this time of social distancing it would be this. Use this time to read the Bible. Y’all! There’s a wealth of truth and wisdom from the Lord inside those pages. Let them be a healing balm to your worried soul. Let them guide your decisions so that fear doesn’t lead you, but His peace sustains you. Listen to the real expert on what’s happening. Don’t just take my word for it.

The Upper Room

by 11 Comments

I’ve felt such a heaviness for the past few days, and I can’t for the life of me pinpoint why. I think that’s the worst part of it. To feel downtrodden even when from the outside in things look good. To be unable to name the reason for melancholy, it makes it all the more absurd. An unwelcome visitor to your happy home. I wonder if it will always be this way, while I exist in this body? Separated from joy that is so close I can taste it.

For a few days I’ve wanted to write something about the upper room. It’s been dancing on the periphery of my brain, waiting to be put down into words, yet unwilling to escape from the mental chamber keeping it captive. How could I speak of Heavenly things when my heart felt pushed into the dirty earth? Still feeling captive to my flesh, I knew I needed to write it anyway, if only to show myself I could.

I find it no coincidence that in Luke 22 Jesus plans the Passover meal venue, the upper room, and just prior to that, in Chapter 21, He says this.

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap.

It’s so easy to forget that there’s more for us than next month’s work schedule or a pending dental appointment for the children. Before you know it you’re focusing on the bank balance versus the pending bill stack, or you’re questioning the commitments you’ve plotted in your calendar. You find yourself worrying about the virus the household keeps passing around, or replaying that thing you said to so-and-so, that ridiculous comment you wish you could stuff back into your stupid, gaping mouth. We busy our thoughts with if it’s time to wash the linen, or what theme we should plan for the youngest child’s birthday party. We never once contemplate the upper room.

He has prepared a place. He’s gone ahead of us and made arrangements. A banquet is coming, the likes of which we have never seen, yet we busy ourselves with plans akin to dining at Burger King. The Lord is setting the table for a grand feast, and we are somehow content to catch the scraps of the world where we wait. We forget all about the upper room.

It’s like we have an invitation sitting on our bar. It’s mixed in with grocery store flyers, an exorbitant utility bill, and one of those card stock advertisements with a fake, brand new car key attached. It’s addressed in gold letters, sealed with a blood red stamp, and it’s just waiting to be opened. Each and every day we pass it by. It’s left unopened, forgotten, pushed to the bottom of a stack meant for the trash.

We pass it by in favor of our favorite Netflix series, or rushing to the kitchen table to argue angrily over homework, pressing a dry kiss and sideways hello to our spouse. Tired, worn thin and wore out. We pass the invitation for rest, and we pass it in favor of rush and hurry. We run towards the things of this world that are here today and gone tomorrow.

Have you noticed the things of this world bring us a heap of stress, yet we pursue them with vigor? We think, if only I can hit the deadline. If only I can pay this debt. I just gotta get the kids through school and get this mortgage paid down. Then, maybe things will settle down.

We’re always in eager anticipation, expecting a future of better things. We’re hoping in a time when we won’t struggle so much. We’re waiting for a time when we won’t be so tired, when finances won’t be so tight, or when raising kids will get easier. We cling to dreams of a brighter future with less stress and more bless. We trudge through our season, weary and wondering when we’ll find our better day. We pass by the dusty, forgotten invitation.

There has to be a better way! That’s what we say. It shouldn’t be this hard! We buy self help books, seek advice from a counselor, maybe even beg that lady on Oprah Winfrey’s channel to fix our life! We forget all about the upper room.

Here’s the secret. Here’s the thing we all forget. We don’t have to wait until the feast begins to partake of the hors d’oeuvres. He is preparing the banquet table, but until it’s time to be seated, we can remember that we already have a place set with our names on it. The best five star restaurant in NYC doesn’t compare, and even better, the worst dinner party we throw doesn’t matter. It all falls flat when set beside the upper room.

The invitation that awaits, it’s one that requires our RSVP, and by accepting our individual place of honor, we agree to walk out each day with an air of importance. We can pass through each day throwing off the anxiety of a fading world that falsely vies for our attention, and instead we can say, “I’m sorry, but I’m going to a party. I can’t be bothered by that at the moment. My mind is on the upper room.”

In my time of heaviness the past few days, I am reminded to hold tightly to my invitation. It promises a wonderful feast. I don’t have to falsely hope for better days here on earth. Instead I can know in my heart that better days will come. I can walk each moment, even as my flesh and heart may fail, in joy, knowing that I am a special guest, and a special seat waits for me. Nothing much matters compared to that. He’s preparing a place.

Children get sick and the truck needs new tires, but He’s preparing a place. I feel heavy, sometimes for no reason at all, but I am invited. The world could hate me, but I’d still be invited. Karen could roll her eyes in my direction, and the whole table could talk about me after I walk away. It doesn’t matter. My Father has set a place for me at His table. Bye, Felicia.

But seriously. All the ridiculous things that try to pull me away. The unimportant tasks that try to overwhelm me. The minuscule happenings that attempt to shake me. The inconveniences that mar my day, or the mistakes that make up my past… they can’t hold a candle to what lies ahead. The upper room.

Lord, when my mind wanders to places it doesn’t need to go, remind me of the upper room. When I place my hope in anything other than you, remind me of the upper room. When I’m hurting, remind me of the upper room. When I’m happy and everything is peachy, remind me of the upper room. When I put too much stock in this fast food life, remind me of the banquet you have lavishly prepared. May I never forget the invitation that requires my focus even now. Keep my thoughts always on the upper room. I know that at your table I will never thirst, and most importantly, I will be filled.

Three Things God Has Done for Me

by

I was recently reading a devotional, and in it the author encouraged the reader to make a list of three things God has done in your life. Initially, I laughed to myself. Only three! I mean, God has done more in my life than I could possibly fit on paper. Even a whole notebook. He woke me up in the morning, gave me hot water to shower with, and who could forget about coffee?! Talk about the best invention ever! And that’s just the first hour of my day. How in the world I could just pick three, I didn’t know, but I felt led to try. As I quieted my mind, these three bullets came to me, and I thought I would share them with you.

1. He healed me. Ok, so I could start with how God miraculously healed me of epilepsy. How after a decade-long battle of neurologist visits, medications three times a day, abnormal EEG’s, and debilitating migraines, He took the disease completely, totally, and immediately from me. I could talk about that, but no, it’s more than just a seizure disorder.

I could tell you how He took the pain from my knees, the pain that had been there since my twenties, the messed up knees that a doctor had told me when I was twelve years old would eventually “go out on me.” I could tell you how I carried that curse and constant pain into my forties, but the day I asked for His healing, they never hurt me again. But this is about more than not needing a knee replacement after all.

I could testify to physical healing, of myself, and of my children. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that God isn’t limited to just one kind of healing. He certainly had healed my physical body, but He had also healed the rest of me. If I looked on the outside like I used to feel on the inside, I would resemble an old China doll. The lines of harsh reality had riddled my fragile shell like cracks in aged porcelain. One wrong move and I probably would have shattered to pieces. But God.

My life before the love of Christ was broken. Torn by the pain of rejection, I felt lacking. Twisted by the lies that I was only as good as the people who had left me in life, I felt worth little more than nothing. I felt empty. We’re not made to feel that way, and as such I wasted many years trying to fill myself with anything I could. Anything that would give me some substance, make me feel worthwhile. I sought the approval of man, and I numbed my pain with empty indulgence. I tried to be better, basing my worth on what I could achieve in life. It never felt like enough. It wasn’t until I found the love of Jesus that I could be healed from all the hurt this world had piled upon me.

He healed me from the pain of sin, and He gave me eternal life. He healed me from my past, and He gave me a future. He healed me from rejection, and He adopted me as His own. He healed me from the bondage of slavery, and He gave me real freedom to live life fully and joyfully.

2. He gave me a new identity. I have had several last names in my life. I had the one I was born with, and later, my adoptive dad’s last name. I had my first husband’s last name, and now I have my second husband’s name. I have held many titles in life, some of them I’d rather forget, but others that I’m proud to go by to this day. I love holding the role of wife, mother, nurse, and friend. I’m a writer, a Navy veteran, an encourager, and a singer at times. I’ve been known to be a goofball, a crybaby, and even an outcast. I have been labeled things that make me cringe, and I’ve been called names that made me cry. But do you know what all these things have in common?

They are meaningless.

They are meaningless when held alongside my identity in Christ. Often times in life we can falsely build our worth and self esteem on the titles we possess or roles we play. We think we’re what our last name is, what job we perform, or how well we perform it. We assume we’re what we do, the mistakes we’ve made, or even the things we’ve failed to achieve. We fall to lies that we’re held back by who our family is, genetics, our financial circumstances, where we live, the way it’s always been, or our lot in life. We never reach the potential God has for us because we believe in a false identity. The identity of this world.

When I came to know the Lord, I realized my true identity was in Him. I was His child. I was created in His image, with a destiny in mind. I was forethought, artfully designed, on purpose, with each detail precisely constructed in love. I was worth dying for, and I was worth pursuing. I was a child of the King, protected, holy, worthy, righteous, and redeemed. I was His. I was not alone. I was loved.

3. He gave me a purpose beyond myself. Once I found myself healed and whole, loved and set free, I felt an urgency to share this miraculous happening. It’s like, if you suddenly had the best cup of coffee in your life. It would be all you could talk about. You’d make sure your spouse, your best friend, and all your coworkers knew how to find this divine cup of joe. This is where I found myself.

Each day, as my spirit draws closer to the Lord, I become more certain of the plans He has for me. Knowing my identity in Him, I am able to throw off the minuscule concerns of this world that have no eternal perspective. I am able to shed the busyness, the ridiculous distractions that vie for my attention, and in essence, pull me further from His truth. I think that’s the first step to finding God’s purpose for your life. You have to be able to let go of all that entangles you, trying to take first chair over His kingdom.

As you can release the treasures of this world, and can begin building eternal equity instead, you can find true purpose. You can find true peace. True joy, even.

When you can let go of the things of this world, the titles and roles that you think complete you, and instead find real fulfillment through your heritage and the inheritance of your Heavenly Father, you will discover your true path in life. Consider this world a practice run. The real thing is what awaits us.

When I realized this profound, yet simple truth, I found purpose. I found a purpose beyond myself and my front yard. I found a way to be full, to the brim, and an understanding that because of Him, I am never lacking. And in this fullness of life, I make each day about pouring out that love on others. The more I give, the more I get. I never realized that before.

So, now I would encourage you. Sit down, clear your mind, and ask yourself, “what has God done for me?” You might just discover along the way, what you can do for Him.

It’s Okay if All You Want is To Be Still

by

This morning my mind was running circuits and trailing tangents as it usually does when I’m trying to wake up amidst the shower steam. Basically I go between praying and personal thoughts for my day. Sometimes I’ll go over a previous event, as if thinking it through amongst honestly muttered prayers will lend needed clarity to my thoughts. One of the things that ran through my mind this morning was the previous afternoon in an orientation class. At one point the presenter had asked us a question.

He had questioned, “what is your goal for yourself in the next five years?”

I know, this is a common question. We’re taught throughout life that for successful living we need to have a five year plan. I get that. We’re encouraged to make goals, and then to chase them. We’re instructed to make a plan, plot out the course to achieving it, and to let nothing stop you in that pursuit.

Somewhere between mentally revisiting that round table discussion and washing my face, I found myself repeating the 23rd Psalm. This was one of the scriptures that I frequently prayed over myself and my day before going to work, but this morning I paused close to the beginning. I had been stopped in my tracks by the words “you lead me beside still waters,” and in that moment of silent reflection I felt the Lord say something to me.

It’s ok if all you want is to be still.

I needed that encouragement. You see, yesterday I had very boldly and honestly given my lack of planning for the next five years. I mean, I was the first to speak, but as the same question was answered all around the table, I realized mine was an anomaly. Everyone had a plan, laid out, goal oriented, with their professional development in mind. Most wanted to further their education, moving to the next step in being a better them. And that was great. It just wasn’t where I was at currently. It’s not that I wasn’t constantly learning and growing; I definitely am. It’s simply that I felt peace with where I was at the moment, and I had no stringent requirement of myself to plan out my next steps.

At the time I had said, “I’m 42 years old. I’ve been in nursing for twenty years, and I’m at a place in my life right now where I’m completely dependent on the Lord. I go where He leads me. He led me here, and I feel like He wants me to stay here. Will I be here in a year? I have no idea. I take each day as it comes, and I trust the Lord for each one.”

You could have heard a pin drop. I’m sure, for many, my words sounded crazy, but I had also come to a place in life where that didn’t bother me either. It’s not that I found people who made plans to be lacking in faith. Not at all! In fact, I’m a planner by nature, and I think it’s prudent and wise. It’s just not the season I am in. For the past two years I have based where I worked and lived on the doors God opened and the ones He closed. To do that I had to completely surrender to the unknown. It wasn’t easy, but it strengthened my faith and walk with Christ in a way I could have never imagined. And just because I’ve taken a permanent, steady job, it doesn’t mean I’m going to stop following His lead.

I think that sometimes our continuous, perfectly laid out plans can distance us from God. I know, for me, planning my course gave me a sense of control, and that comforted me. What I’ve learned, though, is that perfectly laid out steps and a five year plan won’t bring me the contentment I desire or the success I need for a happy life. Self improvement is good, but without working on the inside too, even well laid plans will fall flat.

As I thought over the previous discussion in the classroom, this morning in the shower, I think I had a moment where I questioned myself. When God calls you to be different, it’s hard not to feel a little weird. But when I felt the Lord impress to me the freedom to be in a season of stillness, it calmed my spirit. I thought back to something else from the previous day. In reading scripture I had been especially drawn to the familiar story in the Bible of Mary and her sister Martha. Martha ran around hurriedly making preparations, but Mary sat at the feet of Jesus enjoying His presence. I don’t think one sister is better than the other, but I do believe there are times in our life to be a Martha, yet also times to be a Mary. Jesus doesn’t require our sacrifice, but He does call us to relationship.

I happened to be in a season of life where my ability to be still positively impacted my relationship with the Lord. I had made many plans in my life, but currently I resided in a place where I desired Him to direct my steps. Some called my life “living by the seat of my pants,” but I preferred to consider it sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening intently as He taught.

Where God Guides, He Provides

by

If not to testify to God’s goodness, then why else am I here? The last time I wrote something I shared my faith with you all, despite bleak circumstances. You can read it here if you missed it, but I’ll also give a brief recap. Basically, we decided to take more than a month off from my job to travel home for Christmas. I jokingly called it our sabbatical, but in all honestly, I really felt like it was in a way. I had never felt quite so strong about something as simple as a vacation, but I actually felt led by God to take this time.

It’s funny how the more you place your trust in Jesus, the more He delivers. I didn’t always pray about taking time off or whether I should buy my husband that expensive present, but if I’ve discovered anything over the past couple of years, it’s this.

God wants every part of our lives.

He doesn’t just want Sunday morning or the important, life-altering decisions like where to work or who to marry. He wants it all. The little things, the big things, the seemingly inconsequential. He wants our secrets, our deepest desires, and our hugest regrets. He can work with it all.

Over the years I realized that the more I released to the Lord, the more He took care of for me. It was hard to let some things go, whether I told myself He had enough to worry about without hearing about my insecurities, or whether I held tightly to the things I felt like I needed to control. For me, it was always the bank balance. That was the hardest load not to carry. I assumed it gave me peace and comfort to budget accordingly, but in all reality, it only added to my stress. Bills multiplied, stuff broke, and unexpected illnesses occurred. So, no matter how much I thought I had a handle on my checkbook, it always fell apart. There never seemed to be enough. Can you relate?

I did not tithe! I mean, I gave money to different charities, I supported local and international ministries, frequently, but I always had control of my giving. I gave when I felt like I had enough to give, but when it came to a regular, scheduled “here, God, you take this part right off the top,” I wasn’t good at that. I couldn’t relinquish that control. I knew when I had the money to give!

At the beginning of this year I felt the Lord pricking my heart to release that last bit of my life. I mean, I had already handed Him where we lived. We had been accepting travel positions based on where He led us to go work, and accepted them with a smile. Even if I got floated off my preferred unit at work, I smiled, because I trusted the Lord to give me the patients I needed to see that day. We trusted Him for our health, forgoing traditional health insurance, and instead utilizing a Christian medishare program if needed for medical expenses. I had given Him my fear, my anxiety too, and it was like He was saying, “okay, Brie, it’s time to loosen up the purse strings.”

Y’all, I put it off on my husband. I mean, he was the head of the household after all, and if he said something about tithing regularly, then we’d do it. So far, I controlled the entire budget. I paid the bills. I let him know what the available balance was. He didn’t even know the online banking password! If this guy, who never even thought about due dates and such, said something to me about giving to the church regularly, well, I’d take that as a sign.

You know what God did, right?! Yep, by the end of the week my spouse came out of left field with, “Brie, I think we should start tithing faithfully.”

Okay, God, got it, loud and clear. You see, tithing for me wasn’t about the money as much as it was about control. And I knew we weren’t necessarily giving money to the church because they really needed our money to make ends meet. God was telling us to tithe for what it would do in my heart and my relationship with Him. It was about letting go and letting God. It was about trusting Him for our provision. It was about believing He would provide what we needed, always, even when I could not see how. Some paydays I saw more debits due than the credits available. We had more bills than we had paycheck. It would be easy to not tithe those weeks, to say I’d pick it back up next time, but I refused. It wasn’t that it would hurt the church’s offering plate. It’s that it would hurt my faith. So, I gave even when I didn’t feel like we had it to give. I gave when my logic told me I shouldn’t. I gave, no matter what, because that’s what God told me to do.

Well, back to the present. He was telling me to take five weeks off work. It made zero sense to my budget-conscious self. We did not have the funds to do it. We could save up, scrimp, squirrel away, and whatever else, but logically it wasn’t wise to go that long without income coming in. Especially at Christmas! And two birthdays in December! And the gas mileage accrued when you haul 10,000 pounds of house across three states!

But God. Y’all, all I felt was peace. I should have been afraid, but I wasn’t. Where God leads, He provides, but not just financially. He also provides His peace. That’s how I knew we needed to come home for Christmas. Because, despite my brief concerns based on what I could budget and see in the natural, I knew with 100 percent certainty that we were doing His will. Why was it His will for us to take a month off in Mississippi? I’m still not totally sure. I’ve seen Him doing some things, but I’ve also learned you may not see clearly all that God is doing through you at any given time. You just trust. I knew this. I knew He wanted us to go, and I felt zero anxiety about the financial aspect of it.

The plans, though! Yep, I had made plans to save money. Yes, all my plans had fallen apart. Still, I trusted. I can’t really explain that except for the Holy Spirit. He sustained my faith. In the physical I saw disaster, but in my spirit I felt peace. So much peace, so little fear. Praise the Lord.

Well, the night after we arrived I was given a stack of mail from my aunt that had been delivered to her house. There was a lot of junk in there, but nestled in the bundle was an unexpected blessing. It was a large refund check that would adequately cover my time off work. We had not been expecting it at all. We had not known it was coming, but God did.

Bottom line, He told us to go. It didn’t make sense financially, but we knew it was His will, for whatever reason, so we followed. And we followed in faith. Through His wonderful mercy and grace, we followed in faith. It wasn’t our strength of faith, but rather Him at work in us. We simply allowed Him access to our hearts and every part of our lives. In turn, He controlled every aspect. I finally had let go of all control over finances in my life, and in turn He took over that part, far better than I ever could.

I suppose it’s easy to lose sight. We look around and can’t figure out how God will work it out, but He always has a way. Our job is to trust Him always, in all things. I could write a book about all the miraculous things He has done in our lives, but for now I share this one. I mark this place in our lives. This will forever be remembered as the Christmas that God paid the tab.

How Do You Give It to God?!

by

How in the world do you give it to God?!

Have you heard that before?!

You’re having a terribly stressful situation. It’s one of those times where you feel like you’re drowning, and there’s no buoy in sight. You know that God is in control. You know because that’s what everyone says! In fact, if you do reach out for guidance or share your plight with your Facebook friends, at least one person will say it.

“We’re praying for you, honey! Just give it to God!”

Ok. Great. Now, how do I do that again?

I think this was always one of those things in my Christian walk that kind of bothered me. Early on I asked more mature Christians the same question. Like, how? And most of the time I was told to just surrender.

“Brie, literally throw your hands up in the air and say, I can’t do it alone, God!” A friend suggested.

And yeah, that’s true. I mean, God certainly hears you, and He even answers. Things improve, it seems, after that outward expression of your innermost heart desire, but inevitably it creeps back. What I mean is, you can surrender your anxiety to Jesus on Tuesday, but by Saturday something else may rear its ugly head and the next thing you know, you’re anxious again.

Ugh, I thought I gave this to God! What gives?!

So, I sought that answer too, and I was told more good advice.

“Brie, surrender is something you have to do more than once,” my mentor said. “Sometimes, it’s a daily practice.”

And you know what? She was right about that too.

Okay, so you’re saying I need to just go on and tell God I’m giving it to Him. Check.

Then, I’ll need to do that many times over throughout my life. Gotcha.

But, do you know what else I’ve discovered? It’s taken me some time, but I have realized that giving it to God takes a lot more.

For one, it’s easy to say you surrender a situation with your words, but actually carrying that through in your head is a horse of a different color. You know what I mean. You’re sitting there minding your own business, certain that God’s got this, when suddenly you hear a little whisper of a thought. It’s a soft whisper at first.

It says something like, “but what if it doesn’t work out?”

And then the whisper gets a little louder. So you think about it some more. And it gets louder and louder. Before you know it the drumming of your heart in your ears competes with the urgent cry in your head.

“You’re going to fail,” it exclaims!

The terrible “what if’s” plague you, and you’re under its thumbnail. You know God’s got this, but what if?

What if it’s not God’s will?

Maybe He’s trying to teach me something.

Maybe I did something wrong.

Maybe this is my hard lesson.

Before you know it you’re riddled with anxiety, dread, shame, and a yucky feeling in the pit of your stomach. It manifests with physical symptoms. Headache, acid reflux, high blood pressure, insomnia, weight loss, or perhaps weight gain.

Hey, wait a minute! Didn’t I give this to God?! I must not have done it right.

You did. But I’ve discovered that us humans don’t like giving stuff away. Like, we’re major hoarders. It’s against our nature to give something away, even if it’s a problem we want to be rid of. We want to hang on to it so we can fix it, and only when we realize we can’t fix it, do we give it away! But even then, as our hands of surrender are raised high, we feel like we’re missing something. So in that empty place, we fill it. It has to be filled! Sadly, it’s typically filled with thoughts from the enemy. Remember, it’s not flesh and blood we battle. Yep, it’s the enemy who fills us with the anxious what-if’s. So it’s our job to fill that vacant place of surrender with something else.

I’ve found that the act of truly giving it to God is three-fold.

First, yes, you surrender. We got that part. God is good.

Second, you must fill the vacant place where your problem resided in your mind prior to surrender. And the only thing that will fill it right is God’s truth. Y’all, you have to read the Bible. You have to! It’s the key to surrender. Because once you give your trouble to God, the devil is going to get mad. He’s going to attack you. He’s going to attack your thoughts, and you have to hit back with truth.

You have to know scripture back and forth so when the anxious thoughts come you’ll recognize them as a lie.

You’ll be able to stand firm and say, “wait, that doesn’t sound like God.”

Nowhere in the Bible does He say it’s just your lot in life, that life sucks, or you have bad luck. Nowhere. You have to speak truth to combat lies. You speak them out loud, you repeat them to yourself daily, you speak them over your life first thing in the morning before you even feel an attack. You prepare yourself for battle.

Then… you rest. You rest in His truth. Lies come, you kill them with truth, and rest in your surrender. This is the third and final piece, and resting doesn’t just mean being still. You’ll still have to fight with truth as attacks come, but to rest is to abide. It means you live in a state of believing what you’re proclaiming.

You read the truth, you memorize the truth, you repeat the truth. You repeat it over and over until it becomes passive like breathing. You exist, breathing in and out this truth, wearing it like your favorite hoodie. It becomes so engrained in your very center that it’s not just words; it’s the very sustenance of your life. It’s the meat, and you chew on it until it sticks to your bones. That way, despite if attacks come, you’re not frantically fighting them off. Instead you’re resting in the truth of Jesus that has already won the war. If that doesn’t make you want to jump and shout hallelujah then I don’t know what will!

Bottom line, friends. Giving it to God comes down to abiding in the victory Christ has already obtained for you. Spoiler alert… the devil doesn’t win. Anxiety doesn’t win. Depression doesn’t win. We just lose sight of that, sometimes, and that’s ok. There’s still room at the victory table, and getting a seat there starts with surrender. It’s followed by digging in and equipping yourself with God’s word. Then it’s topped off (it is finished, see what I did there) with abiding in His truth that your are in Him, and He is in you. That, my friends, is giving it to God.

When God Stretches You

by

This morning I sat drinking coffee with my husband’s grandmother, and as I sat across from her on the couch covered in a comfy blanket she thanked me for fixing her a mug of joe.

“They just don’t like me doing these things anymore. I’m sorry.” She said.

“It’s alright,” I answered. “I don’t mind at all.” And I smiled genuinely at her.

I could only imagine how difficult it must be for her now. As she had gotten older she had started to seriously forget things, fall, and accidentally harm herself (such as significant coffee burns). She had started living with family a while now, but this was the second time in two days she had mentioned to me how hard it was for her to not be doing things around the house as much. Last night I had told her that she had spent a lot of time in years past serving others, and now it was simply her time to rest and allow others to do for her.

“You served us for years.” I said. “The best turkey I’ve ever had came from your house!”

“Really?” She asked incredulously, but with a satisfied smile.

So when she mentioned it again this morning I thought of seasons.

Last week I had been rocked to the core by God’s truth through song. After a particularly long day at work the lyrics from a praise song reached into my heart and squeezed it tightly.

Though the seasons change… your love remains.

The season for us had certainly changed as of late. I had transitioned from working part-time to working full-time again. My husband had transitioned from working overtime to homeschooling full-time. We had gone from two vehicles to one, from a two-story house full of stuff to a pickup truck barely full of possessions, from 2200 square feet of living space to around 600 square feet, from one small, familiar town to a larger, unfamiliar city, from the same, comfortable job I’d held the last ten years to a new job, in a new hospital, with new bosses and new ways of doing things. For me, I had gone from having a set routine to flying by the seat of my pants, and for a gal who loved planning and having ducks in a row, it was for sure a challenge. God was stretching me!

I can recall before we left crying on my couch one morning after I got off the phone. I had accepted a job outside of Orlando after a bit of research about the area, but as I actually went through the process of securing housing it had not been as easy or as affordable as I thought. We were on fumes financially and temporary housing was costing about $800-$1000 more a month than I had budgeted for. Not $800 total, mind you, but $800 more. And that would be on top of our existing mortgage. And it would be very small. Even smaller than the eventual RV we were purchasing. Small and expensive. Great! It wasn’t going according to plan! So I cried.

After my tears fell I got back on the faith wagon, knowing God had our backs. We knew He was leading us on this journey, and I knew I had to trust He’d get us where we needed to be. But y’all, when we walked into that tiny, extended stay hotel I was taken off guard. Even smaller and seedier than I had imagined. Immediately I started pulling out our few, personal items to make it feel like home. If you’re a regular blog reader then you know God led us to a more affordable, larger, and safer home within the next week. It was laughable, really!! I had spent so much time researching, Googling, and making phone calls to try and secure us somewhere nice to live, but in the end I had come up empty. I suppose that’s where God finds you; the empty places. When I gave up on what I could do, and when I trusted Him despite the dismal situation we found ourselves in, He stepped in and led us to something that exceeded our best expectations.

I was in a new season of learning to trust God more. I was learning to fear not. I was learning to lean not on my own understanding. The planner was learning to surrender, and the liner of ducks was learning to rest. It was stretching yet satisfying. It was amazing to watch God deliver every single time as promised. Even if it didn’t seem like it at first. Some seasons are like a desert, but God promises streams. So you just have to walk in that.

This morning as I told my grandma that thanks weren’t necessary for the coffee, and that i understood how hard it was for her to not make it for herself, we talked about seasons.

“I guess this is a new season God has you in right now. As you work through not being able to do as much for yourself the Lord is teaching you new things about trusting in Him for change.” I suggested.

With a twinkle in her eye and contemplative look on her face she replied, “I think you’re absolutely right.”

I felt a kinship to her at that moment, not just as family by marriage, but as children of a Mighty Father God. Although my season of change was nothing like hers, and not as difficult as hers in my humble opinion, I felt like God was stretching us both. He was teaching us both something new, and a deeper way we could rely on Him, trust Him, and most importantly, rest in Him.

Isn’t it funny how we can make the act of rest such hard work?

Do You Find Yourself in the Wilderness? 

by

Do you currently find yourself in the wilderness?

You’re in good company. 


The past six months of my life have been different from the previous few years. For many years now I’ve found myself traveling through lush pastures with flowing springs. I have found a contentment, joy, and abundant life living with Christ. I have enjoyed my children, my husband, and our many, many blessings over the past few years. I enjoy those things still, but I’ve found myself clinging tightly to them and my faith in Jesus as I pass through a desert place in life. I want to face palm at past me wondering why other people can’t find peace in life. As I sashayed through flowery fields I wondered why everyone could not smell the roses like me. Talk about a humbling fall. 

So I feel like the past couple of months especially I’ve been transversing through a bit of a dry spell, a valley, if you will. I’ve felt lonely at times, as if I had to really strain to hear God’s voice. It’s been a trying time with many attacks from Satan, and though my husband and I have grown even closer through it, and our faith has strengthened, I’d be lying if I said it was fun. It’s not. The wilderness is never a carefree, enjoyable time. Sure there’s always the joy that comes with being a child of God, but sometimes that’s shadowed by how difficult it is to walk through a storm in life. 

The weird thing about walking through a valley is how it seems up and down. It’s like, sometimes you catch a glimpse of the mountain, it gives you that extra burst of adrenaline, and you walk a little faster with your head held high. Other days you wake up and you feel like a Farside cartoon, just dry bones stretched out across the harsh desert floor. Today I found myself in a funk, and wishing to reignite my spirit with hope I dug into God’s word. I’ve been reading through the Gospels lately, and when I began reading Mark these verses leapt off the page 

Mark 1 (NIV)

12 At once the Spirit sent him out into the wilderness, 13 and he was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted[a] by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.

What I love about scripture is how it can speak to you at different times in your life, and though I’ve read this before, today I noticed something I had not in prior reading. Here in the beginning of Mark we see Jesus being baptized by his cousin, John. We have all imagined how it must have been when the skies opened and God spoke, “you are my son whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

Wow. That is awesome. God speaks to His son and tells Him how proud He is. But check out that verse right after. 

At once the spirit sent him out into the wilderness. 

It hit me like a ton of bricks today! I have felt like I’m in the wilderness, but I’m in good company. If God sent His own son into the wilderness to be tempted, this son in whom He was well pleased, then shouldn’t I be grateful that I find myself in the same kind of place? God leads us to the places where we might grow best to know Him, and really that’s what I’ve been praying for many years. You can’t stay in the green pastures and grow deeper with God. You have to walk in the wilderness so He can give you His strength. That’s where His angels will attend to us, and as Satan attacks that is where we will grow in faith and a deeper relationship with the Lord. 

I can’t explain the change in my spirit after being reminded of something so simple. It’s hard to see the hand of Jesus when you’re away from the shore. When the rains pelt down and blur your vision it’s difficult to see Him standing on the water. Yet there He stands, calling us to His side, ready to calm the skies at the sound of His voice. 

So, do you find yourself in the wilderness today?

Just remember, you’re in good company. 

A Beginner’s Guide: How I Drew Closer to God

by

I’ll start by saying I’m no expert on spiritual matters. In fact, I’m quick to call myself a work in progress. I haven’t arrived at some divine place in my walk with God, my face doesn’t shine like Moses, and I foul up on the daily. So anything I share isn’t from some pedestal place of my creating. I just want to chat about how I went from point A to point B in my life as a Christian. I know without a doubt there’s a point C, D, and beyond that I strive for, but looking back over just the past decade of my life I am blown away. I am a different Brie in 2017 than I was in 2007, and of most importance is the truth that I didn’t change on my own. It was for sure divine intervention, but it also didn’t occur overnight. It’s matured a little each day, over time, and I thought someone might like to hear how. 

When I look back over the past eight years or so I can pinpoint certain decisions I made in life that I believe helped me to grow closer to the Lord. When you’ve created a distance between yourself and God, or perhaps when there’s a chasm related to sin, it’s not a gap that can be closed all at once. Asking Jesus for forgiveness and turning from sin is a really good start, but it also involves a daily decision to keep walking in that. So I guess you could say my journey back to God initially began with the decision to stop doing the things that I felt separated me from His presence. You never stop sinning, and every day of my life the Lord reveals to me new ways I can improve, but it has to start somewhere. My start began with absolutely stopping the actions I knew weren’t pleasing to Him. 

Reflecting backwards over the past six years or so one of the biggest actions I feel like I made to draw closer to the Lord was spending time with Him. It started when I took a job where I had to work every Sunday. I was so worried my relationship with the Lord would suffer since I’d be missing church on Sunday that I made the extra effort to seek Him all during the week. Every day I made the time to read my Bible, read devotions, pray, listen, and worship. I’ve done this every single day for at least six years now. I don’t think you can spend quiet time with the Lord, read scripture every day, pray it over yourself, and not be impacted by that. 


I also changed the type of things I let into my mind. I changed the books I read. I changed the movies I watched. I even changed the music I listened to. I’ve always been a person who really enjoyed music, but around 5-6 years ago I decided to take a 30 day challenge a Christian radio station suggested. In that timeframe I only listened to Christian music. After that I felt so good that I kept it going indefinitely. I’ll stop here to say that I love and appreciate all forms of music, and I never judge or think less of anyone who listens to secular music. We all do what we think is best for ourselves and our family. For my family we do not listen to secular music. I’m typically lost on social media when people do parodies or spoofs of a popular song. Lol. 

I also opened up the line of communication. I didn’t just reserve praying for meals and bedtime. I didn’t just pray when I wanted healing or help. I did pray for my needs and those of others, but I also praised the Lord for my blessings throughout the day. When I woke up I told him good morning, and when I liked my shower I told Him so. I worshiped in the kitchen while cooking supper, and I took advantage of semi-quiet times on the road as an opportunity to listen. Over time as you open your heart, speak to God about everything, and see His hand in it all, you begin to just chat with Him on the daily. It’s not to say God isn’t mighty and deserving of our reverence, but it is to say that He’s not some unapproachable, angry guy in the sky. He’s a Father who cares about our needs, all our needs, and loves to hear us tell Him all about it. As you make a point to talk to God more about your daily life you find that you create this open communication line that is just there. It’s like you never hang up the phone. He’s always on call, and the fact is you can’t talk to someone all day and not be close!

Last week I looked up at the sky and I said, “oh God, those clouds are beautiful!” Then it struck me that they had been beautiful the day before too. But also the day before that. And the day before that. And what about that sunset I last saw?! I wondered, did the sky just start becoming so lovely recently, or did I just start noticing it more? I felt like I just so happened to come to a place where I enjoyed it more. I was able to open my eyes and see the gifts from God in everything. I was able to see it in the beauty of nature, the health of my family, but also even in the circumstances of life that didn’t always work out as I had hoped. I was able to understand that God held control of all things, so even when things didn’t seem to work out, really they did. Because of Him. I think we’re all born to be optimists, seeing the glass half full. It’s the world that taints us. Being filled with hope, persisting in faith, and trusting in all circumstances has given me a positive outlook I never had before. It doesn’t mean my life is always perfect. It just means I know God is. 

I think it’s important to add this. Nothing we do in and of itself creates this relationship with Jesus. It’s not our actions that create our salvation. It just is. It’s a relationship of redemption and grace that awaits our acceptance, and other than agreeing that yes, you want it, there’s no other magical formula you must follow to achieve the fullness that walking with God supplies. I’m not trying to get into a theological debate on the steps to Salvation. That’s not what this blog is about. I’m going to assume that those seeking to draw closer to Jesus have received the gift of eternal life. My point is that I’m not trying to say our actions make this relationship. They don’t; His grace does. This is just me sharing how my relationship has deepened over time. I made purposeful decisions to seek His face and I think that helps. I’m grateful for the relationship I enjoy with Jesus, but if a recent trial with anxiety and depression has taught me anything it has taught me that I am powerless. I don’t have control of my life, nor do I hold the key to peace. I am humbled to realize that although I’m far from where I was a decade ago that I still have not arrived to the fullness of what He has for me. I’m reminded of this fabulous verse. 

Philippians 3

 12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I’m not there yet, but I press on. I’m just grateful I decided to participate in the race. Because when you’re running with God it doesn’t seem like a rat race or rush of a chaotic life that is spinning out of control. You still get weary, but there’s always a place to find rest. 

For Women: How to Live Out Psalm 23

by

I found myself sitting on the couch this evening trying to relax. Other than a simple supper I had planned, and of course my continuous chore of taking care of children, there wasn’t much left for me to do. Laundry was completed, even folded and put away. The kitchen was clean, and the rest of it could wait. With the reality of a free Friday night ahead I should have felt relief. But I didn’t. I felt burdened. 

I sat in this unwelcome spirit of worry and began to pray. Why? Why do I feel this way?

I opened my Bible and felt drawn to Psalm 23. It was a psalm I was familiar with, after all I prayed a portion from it many a work morning when I stood in the hot shower spray. 

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Verse 4)

This verse had always served me well, reminding me that fear wasn’t necessary when I trusted in my shepherd. 

But I read on. I started at the beginning, and I saw this. 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. (Verses 1-3)

The beginning of Psalm 23 hit me like a lightning bolt, jolting me aware. You see, the past week or two had found me in a flurry of activity. My mind had been submerged in the conundrum that is selling a home. In the midst of packing, preparing for a move, and all the logistics that entails, I had also started a new semester of homeschooling for my daughter. In between filling out contracts and real estate paperwork I had found myself thinking and praying hard for a sick loved one. And all this while I was 6 months pregnant. 

To get to this point today of sitting motionless on the couch I knew had not come easy. I had been less than thrilled during our homeschool lesson. I had been short with my children, and I’m pretty sure I had not been the friend and support system to my extended family that they deserved me to be. I had been an unpleasant person, stressed and uncomfortable. 

And as I sat silently reading God’s word the verses above jumped out at me. He wanted me to lie down in green pastures. He desired to lead me beside quiet waters. He loved to refresh my soul. I felt like I had all these things I needed to do, but in reality I lacked nothing. 

So often as women we have not just a full plate, but an overflowing plate! If we’re still we’re almost uncomfortable. If we’re not stressed out we feel like we haven’t accomplished anything, and I don’t know about you, but I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to that. I’m the first to say, “I haven’t done a thing today,” when in reality I have accomplished much. 

But God would say, “you have done enough. You are enough.”

As women we often base our worth on how many tasks we can check off the list, and we feel good when we do a lot. But there’s more to life than staying busy and getting it all done. Sometimes the most important things in life are completed by not moving, but instead by being completely still. 

We accomplish the most for our souls when we take a rest in His presence, sit at His feet, and allow Jesus to renew our spirit. When we let Him lead us to still waters and refresh our soul. 

And the good news continues as we read the remainder of Psalm 23. 

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. (Verse 5)

Despite all the things that can and will go wrong in my day, or the people who try to come against me, the fact remains that He protects me and mine. Heck, He feeds me right in front of them. And He even feeds me to the point of abundant fullness. Now that’s a full plate I can handle!

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord  forever. (Verse 6)

Many times when you busy yourself with the everyday tasks of life you forget that you’re not alone. You feel stressed as if you carry this weight on your own narrow shoulders. I know I do. And that’s why it’s important to stop. Stop and listen to God’s truth. 

His truth says we are never alone. It whispers, “my love follows you everywhere, in every trial and situation.” It cements the fact that we dwell with Jesus forever. 

As I sat still on my couch I finally allowed the rest of myself to be still also. I quieted my worries, and I released my pent-up anxieties and stress to The Shepherd. And I allowed Him to comfort me just as He had intended all along.