Brie Gowen

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What the Church Needs to Pray for Most

February 13, 2021 by brieann.rn@gmail.com 9 Comments

I have a lot of friends send me links to articles, videos, or Facebook posts gone viral. They typically span from one side of the spectrum to the other, much like my friends’ list, and I receive each one with an open heart and mind. Because, you see, I don’t know everything. Sure, I have opinions, but I’ll never claim to know all the answers. So, I will watch that video with an open mind and listening spirit. I may not finish them all, but I give each opinion, each commentary, and each bold-emblazoned rant equal opportunity to be a pass or go for my heart.

Pass or go. When I watch some of these videos I think they are put together very well. I read the eloquent words a particular author painstakingly pens and I think, “they did a great job getting their point across.” Many of the things I read or listen to are very convincing in their natural medium, but it’s there I try to separate the wheat from the chaff. In a world of so much misinformation, so perfectly packaged, we must have eyes to see and ears to hear. But not the way you would think.

Matthew 13: 14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: ‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. 15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’

It’s easy to see with eyes of this world because this world is where we are. I often have to remind myself that I may be “in” this world, but I’m not “of” it. I am seated with Christ in Heavenly places. So, while my body is here in the world, my spirit exists with Christ. I have to keep that mindset. I have to utilize my spiritual eyes and ears in a world so noisy. I have to accept the gift of wisdom.

Wisdom. This must be our prayer. After watching a particularly saddening video from a friend this morning, I sat in the shower praying for wisdom. This is what the Church (we believers) need most.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Remember when I said earlier that I don’t know everything? Well, because of that, I frequently pray for wisdom. We exist in a time of public opinion, in a time of social media, in a time of free-flowing and varying information, but also in a time where the enemy still prowls and seeks to devour. God gives wisdom when we ask! We must have wisdom, but not wisdom simply from our local church, respected “Godly” friend, favorite news channel, or well-produced YouTube video. We must have wisdom from the Holy Spirit. We must have spirit and truth. We must have quiet time set aside to commune with Jesus in prayer, and more time reading and re-reading scripture. We need more time in the Bible and worship than we spend on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. That way, when craftily concocted notions come our way, the Spirit of Truth will give us eyes to see and ears to hear! Without the wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit, we are tossed to and fro.

Have you noticed the world lately?! There’s a lot of people being tossed to and fro.

A large issue with the human nature is the sin of pride. I have taken to laying down pride at the feet of Jesus every morning in the shower. If you haven’t noticed, the shower is my prayer closet. I get up early on work days just so I’ll not neglect that time. I lay down pride, something I struggle with, and that we all struggle with. Human hearts crave love. Most of those hearts don’t realize it’s the love of Jesus they need. So they fill their hearts with other things. But it doesn’t have to be drugs or booze, guys. That’s the devil talking to the church. Nope. Most times the religious folks fill their love bucket with pride. We believe if we are knowledgeable we are loved. If we are right, we feel good. To be wrong, that feels bad. We desire acceptance, and we need people to accept our point of view. To applaud us for it! If anything threatens our existence of being right, we become personally threatened. We get angry. We push away another point of view. We ridicule it, even. Pride. We have ears, but don’t hear. I mean, we already know everything God said. Why listen for more? We have eyes, but don’t see. We’ve already seen what God wants us to see. No need being open for more.

We have become a stagnant people. Hard-headed like our ancestors in the desert, and arrogantly certain of our opinions. We lack wisdom. We have plenty of disinformation, but we’re lacking in any way to tell it apart from what God may be trying to speak.

I would encourage you as a believer to seek God first. Seek Him over the media. Seek Him over what you’ve always been taught or told in your tiny circle. Seek His heart in the red letters of scripture, and pray for wisdom to apply that instruction to your very life. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is about the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5). Read it. And then read it again. Sometimes I read this chapter before I go into work. Meditate on it. Ask the Lord to show you how to carry these fruits. And then ask yourself if the opinions you speak are in line with these fruits that tell us the Holy Spirit thrives in us. Ask yourself if what you read bears those fruits. Ask yourself if the information coming to you has the fruit of the spirit, or if it is simply disguised with the fruit of the flesh.

Christianity’s Only Hope for the Presidential Election

October 27, 2020 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

If there was one thing we could all agree about this year, it would be the monumental amount of disagreement this year.

What’s the only thing that has seemed certain this year? The abundant amount of uncertainty this year.

Indeed, this year has rivaled most in my short, forty-three on earth, and a part of me has desired to hide away in a storm shelter, waiting for the harsh winds of this season to pass. Whether you have experienced fear for your life in the face of a novel virus, or fear that your government is feeding you untruths about a virus, the fact is you’ve experienced fear. It’s easy to forget that fear often manifests in an apparently righteous anger, or in a quest to reveal the truth. Whether we’re enormously offended or staunchly standing for truth, it’s that thread of uncertainty for the future that drives the conversation. This year has rocked everyone’s foundation of security, and it’s ok to admit that. No matter how our response has manifested.

This has been more than just a year of isolation, though. It’s also been a season of unveiling. We’ve seen injustice come to light, but we’ve also seen the worst of humanity bubble to the surface. It seems that fear for the ugliness within ourselves can manifest in denial that a problem even exists. I think that’s been the hardest part of this year for me. Watching the compassion evaporate, and the selfishness multiply. Of note, I don’t exclude myself from this particular response to 2020. I certainly have dropped my basket of spiritual fruit multiple times this year.

I think the biggest problem this year, though, has truly boiled down to how we see, and how we hear. Do you remember the words of Jesus?

Matthew 13:13 This is why I speak to them in parables: “Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. 14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: “ ‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. 15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’

For a large part, as Christians we see and we hear, but only in part. Mostly what we see is of this world, and in actuality it should be the opposite. Most of what we see should be not of this world. We simply forget our heritage. We become so distracted by what’s in front of us, we forget what lies ahead. In this regard we place our hope mostly in the things we can see and touch, and not in things of above (and not below). The problem with this? We will always end up disappointed.

It’s like, if your hope for your marriage is in your spouse, they will fail you. Conversely, if you are counting on yourself to make it succeed, you’ll end up sorely disappointed. Our hope for our relationships should always be on the One who created them, the One who models how we should maneuver through them, and the One who gives the best examples for how to love.

But, our eyes will only focus on the problems in our partner. Our ears will listen to the world for a solution. And then we wonder what happened to the healing.

If ever (in my lifetime) a year has shown us what happens when our senses are too in-tune with the world, and not enough in sync with Jesus, it’s been this year. So, when our eyes are seeing only the problem (and not the solution in Him), our ears are hearing the lies of this world (rather than the truth in Him), and our hope is in the solutions we can visualize with human eyes, we will end up extremely jaded.

Here’s what happens. We experience trials of this world, and we place our hope in the solutions this world offers. We put all our eggs in a political basket, or we place all our efforts into advancing a system of this world. We consider things like vaccines the only way to save us. We consider achieving civil justice the answer to broken human hearts, and while ending corruption is also God’s heart, it will not be the answer for a corrupt man. Changing systems, policies, and political parties will not heal the heart of mankind. We know this! We simply forget to proceed through life like we do.

My point is, there’s not a problem with seeking justice, truth, and a non-corrupt system. It’s honorable to speak truth, but we forget to speak it in love, highlighting the true answer for all of the above. There’s nothing wrong with seeking change through our political party of choice, but if we count on our politicians to change the world, we will never win. Point blank, we have but one hope to turn this year around. We’ve simply misplaced that hope.

We see with eyes of this world, and we hear with ears the same. It shouldn’t be this way. Jesus said in the verses above that our hearts have become calloused, but if we could understand the world with our hearts and turn, that He would heal us. Do you know how we can do that? We must learn His heart. Read that last sentence again. His heart, not the world’s heart.

The heart of this world will have you misplace your hope. It will make you place your future and hope in the systems of this world, but they cannot save you. They will, in fact, fail you. So whether your candidate wins or loses, your future and hope cannot reside there. They must be in Jesus and His heart for mankind, as stated in scripture. We must hear with kingdom ears, and see with eyes focused on eternity. But more than that, we must speak with a love that proclaims the hope we have in Him. Our words don’t ridicule or mock when they’re kingdom-minded. They speak hope, love, peace, and the joy that comes from Heaven.

Sadly, a large majority of Christians will view this as a fluff piece. They’ll say, “yeah, that’s nice and all in theory, but in the real world it doesn’t work that easily.”

That breaks my heart. The truth is, the very simple yet profound nugget in this post can change your entire life. It really is that easy. We really can have victory regardless of an election. We truly can experience peace no matter what the media may say. We don’t even have to hunker down in a storm shelter to escape the problems whirling about us. We only need ears to hear, eyes to see, and love to guide us. No matter what happens in November, the future for a person saved by the blood of Christ is set. Regardless of how this year ends or what the next year holds, there is peace in eternal life with God. In the end, our Father wins, and a new earth and system will prevail. I can handle whatever 2020 throws with that in mind.

The thing is, when you know your future is set, you can pass through the desert unscathed. In the 23rd Psalm it proclaims “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”

Y’all! We’ve missed the shadow part!

There is no valley of death. Death is but a shadow.

2020, and all its problems, are but a shadow.

The outcome of the 2020 election, no matter what, is but a shadow.

And do you know the thing about shadows? They mean nothing in the face of what it real. They mean nothing without the light. The light of God’s truth reveals the existence of all things, and our hope should only be in Him. Shadows are shifting, but our Father is solid. And that is where our Hope should stand.

How to Hear the Voice of God Better

September 17, 2020 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

Do you remember the Kevin Costner film from 1989 titled Field of Dreams? In the movie (based on a novel) an Iowa corn farmer is walking through his field when he sees a vision of a baseball field and hears a voice say, “build it and he will come.” Although everyone thinks he’s crazy, he is so certain that he’s supposed to build a baseball field in his cornfield so Shoeless Joe Jackson can come play there, that despite public opinion he plows down his corn and steps out in this unconventional calling. I won’t ruin the plot for you if you haven’t seen it, but let’s just say that his commitment to carry forth the word he’s given does more for his personal life and spiritual growth than something as simple as a baseball legend coming to visit.

The words uttered in that film, “build it and he will come,” resounded with me deeply when I recalled them yesterday and not because I loved that old movie so much, but rather due to the spiritual significance they spoke.

If we build it, He will come.

Our bodies are a temple for the Holy Spirit, and as such, when we consecrate that space for Him, He is faithful to meet us there. The problem with our temples is they become too crowded for His Spirit to comfortably reside there. Our minds are filled with worries, and our hearts filled with anxiety. We harbor guilt, anger, and unforgiveness on the shelves of our mind. We spend our time on television, social media, or our busy schedule more than we do laying a good foundation in our spirit. Hey, I’m guilty too, but if you desire to hear more from the Lord, I’ve found you must close out the distraction and noise of this world to be able to listen. His voice is a whisper.

  

I’ve taken to practicing a daily unloading of the world. Usually first thing in the morning while in the shower I will quiet my heart and mind, close my eyes, and picture that I am standing at the foot of a throne. In the highest seat is Jesus, and I mentally and emotionally unload my burdens. I pray in surrender and tell the Lord something like, “today I give you all my anxiety, worries, and uncertainty. I exchange them for your Spirit and peace.”

I’ve noticed a tremendous upswing in my day with this simple practice of surrender. In it, I am acknowledging His supreme power in my life. I’m admitting I cannot do it alone. Many times I will imagine myself walking in a field with Jesus, simply spending carefree time with my Savior. I will pray out loud something like, “thank you that I am in you, and you are in me, and we are one with the Father, seated in Heavenly places.” By repeating these powerful words of truth I am acknowledging scripture, believing that the troubles of this world mean little compared to His power, His kingdom, and His plans for me.

When we can pray, listen, and read the Word, the Lord will speak to our hearts. He will impart His plans, His knowledge, and His heart, but I’ve found the key to hearing that still, small voice is pushing out the noise that distracts us. And when I say noise, I don’t just mean the television or screaming children. I’m referring to the noise in our heads, the to-do lists, or the lies from the enemy that say how we perform in life is more important than who God made us to be. The lies that compare us to others, or worry about the opinion of others versus who God says we are. To hear from the Lord is to lay down your life, meaning you would give up anything and everything, including and foremost the things of this world.

There is no room in our bodies, hearts, and minds for anything other than God, but we continue to fill the spaces with it. The thing is, those things don’t satisfy, they just leak out leaving us feeling empty. If we build it, though, He will come. If we empty our houses, clean them of the things not of God, and open the doors in anticipation of His Spirit, He will come and make His home in us. And much like our friend Kevin Costner learned, He will bring us much greater things than we ever imagined.

What COVID-19 Has Done for the Church

April 8, 2020 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

Do you see what COVID-19 has done for the church? No, it’s not that it’s given it that push to get on social media. And it’s not about whether to meet, the importance of staying connected (although that’s important), or even the gumption to broadcast services live. What I’m talking about actually has nothing to do with whether a building has its doors opened or closed, or whether the government is skating too close to infringing on constitutional rights. It has nothing to do with religious organizations and everything to do with your relationship. Because, I’ll tell you a secret. You are the church. Allow me to explain.

Recently a coworker asked me how I had gotten to such a strong level of faith in my life. The person was pleasantly surprised when I said it wasn’t a switch that was flipped in my life, or even an overnight ordeal, but rather years of seeking and growth. I relayed the story of how my growing closer to Jesus had began.

Somewhere around 2010 I came across a wonderful opportunity at work. It was a weekend position that allowed me to work only 24 hours a week, while still getting paid for 40 hours. Pretty sweet, right? I had a baby, and another on my wish list, so working part time for full time pay was a God-send! The only problem? I would agree to work every weekend. While Saturday wasn’t a problem for me, Sunday was a lot harder. For one, I loved my church. My father-in-law was our pastor, and I worried how they would feel about the position.

It turns out, my father-in-law didn’t mind. He knew something I was about to learn. He knew something COVID-19 is trying to teach us all. He understood that a personal relationship with Jesus wasn’t found on Sunday morning alone, and he felt pretty confident in the Lord’s ability to show me just that.

My biggest concern after I took that weekender job? I worried my relationship with the Lord would suffer missing Sunday mornings, so I determined that it would not! How did I do that? I made the choice to seek the Lord more closely each and every day. I couldn’t go to church on Sunday, and my small congregation didn’t meet any other time. So I went to church Monday morning on my couch. I went to church Tuesday morning while I sipped my coffee. I went to church Wednesday morning while I fed my baby. I think you’re getting the point.

Ten years ago my life began to turn around for the better because I made a decision. I decided that since I couldn’t go to church, I would bring church to me! I started to set aside time daily to read my Bible, seek the Lord, pray, and listen to His voice. And we as a country are being given this same chance now! We are being told to stay home, and we have the opportunity to use that time wisely. We’re not just in a time in our lives where we can’t go to church. We’re in a time of our lives where we can bring church home. We can bring it into our hearts!

Even after I switched jobs and could attend worship with others on Sunday mornings, it was too late! My life had already changed, thank the Lord. I had begun to manifest the fruits of the Spirit. It wasn’t just my schedule that had changed. My personality had changed. I found that a life where I saturated myself with scripture, was a life where I could be more joyful and triumphant. I learned how to deal with the world’s problems according to the Bible’s answers. In those pages I discovered how much my Savior loved me, and sadly and honestly, I had spent ten years in church on Sundays as a child/teenager, never learning that truth. Salvation, discipline, and true life change aren’t always found in a building. And a deep relationship that changes you from the inside out, rarely is. Life change is found in time with Him.

This pandemic has given us all the rare opportunity to seek Him more. It has forced upon us the need to be fed at home, and I’m not talking about sustenance you get from the grocery store. I’m talking about the kind of spiritual food that will leave you never hungry again. It’s the kind of bread that gives you life, abundant life at that, and it fills you so full that fear can’t fit there. It fills you so overflowing that the uncertain circumstances surrounding you don’t stand a chance. It’s the Manna that God sends down from Heaven, and when you taste and eat you understand that He always provides just enough.

Do you know what the church (meaning the physical building AND all of us as the bride of Christ) needs? We need to learn how to be mature. God doesn’t intend for us to stay babies, being fed our spiritual bottle on Sunday mornings, thinking that will keep us full all week! He calls us to eat meat. He wants us to be self-feeding, steak-chewing, garden-growing, fruit-baring farmers. Y’all, it’s like He wants us to be homesteading harvesters who water where we’re planted. Of course He wants believers gathering together and supporting one another! Don’t get me wrong; this isn’t a church-bashing post. No, what this is is a reminder that we are the church, and we are called to grow the church. The fact is, it’s hard to grow a crop when all you do is eat the fruit. If you’re wanting to harvest, like God calls us all to do, then you have to start planting seeds, and folks forget you begin by planting the seeds in you.

So, I would encourage you to take advantage of this time. See it for what it is. It’s an opportunity, much like the one I experienced ten years ago, to seek the Lord so you don’t lose Him. Y’all, He’s not hard to find. We’re just usually so distracted by all the noise that we miss Him, but perhaps now is a National Call to Quiet. Perhaps Christ is calling us all away from the noise and into His arms. We have been given the chance to bring church into our hearts, the place where God has wanted it built all along. Don’t miss the positive change we can bring from such a negative time in our history. Don’t miss out on the greatest opportunity of all. To build His Church in you.

The Pajama Lesson

January 14, 2020 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

My nine year old got a few, new pairs of pajamas for Christmas. In fact, I asked people, when they inquired of me, to get them for her as a gift. Cause every kid loves clothes, right?! But seriously, she needed them, like, really bad needed them. So, boy, was I excited to see them rolling in at gift unwrapping time. One pair was especially adorable, and when she put them on they looked so cute I made one of those “ahhhh” sounds to emphasize my approval. She was grinning, too, so I assumed her stamp was given. She ran around all night, looking adorable in her striped, raccoon-icorn pj’s, but when bedtime came and she exited from the bathroom I was not prepared for her nighttime attire. There she was, smiling ear to ear, sporting her ratty, mismatched slumber wear. Do what?!

See, that’s why we had gotten her new pajamas, and I explained as much as I tucked her in the covers.

“These pajamas are super old,” I said. “I got you new ones so you don’t have to wear the same ones every night!”

Yes, she had worn them every night for as long as I could remember. They weren’t just her favorite; they were the only pair she’d wear. If she couldn’t find them, sometimes, it was a huge deal. She would search frantically for those ratty, worn-out pajamas. She did not think she could sleep without them.

“Why aren’t you wearing your new pajamas?” I asked.

She pulled at the thin, terry cloth fabric, covered in unicorns, and she answered, “cause they’re not comfy like these.”

She went on to explain in a variation of adjectives why her old ones were so stretchy, “bendy,” and easy to fall asleep in, and at that point I realized another reason she didn’t want to let them go.

Security.

See, for whatever reason, a year ago she began to fear going to sleep. Sure, a lot of children don’t like going to sleep, but my girl’s became a huge, irrational fear. She worried that she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. Or she worried she wouldn’t stay asleep. It seems that at some point she woke up in the middle of the night, it was dark, and she got scared. And once the fear started, she couldn’t get past it to fall back asleep. She was immobilized from even going back to sleep, and after that she worried it would happen again. It didn’t matter that a year had gone by and she never had a problem again. She slept like a rock, but that didn’t mean as much in the face of fear.

At the beginning of her bedtime scare, we initiated a more solid routine. We did pajamas right at the time of sleep, we brushed teeth, we said our prayers, she watched a little bit of soothing, nature documentary with her dad to settle for the night. Before we realized it, this bedtime routine became a required ritual. She felt it necessary to hit each step. If I fell asleep (on my work nights) before her without praying for her, she would wake me up to pray. We explained that my prayers didn’t hold any more weight than her own, but she persisted that I had to be the one to pray with her. She spoke the same words in her prayer every night. The script, as much as the act of prayer, gave her comfort. I realized, after a year of wearing these pajamas every, single night (we laundered them regularly) she had built them into her much-needed routine. She felt like she needed those exact pajamas to sleep well.

I recognized that we all had our own pair of safety pajamas. And when I say pajamas, I don’t just mean pajamas. I mean that we all have routines, comfort zones, and certain people or things that make us feel secure. The bad part is those items in our life have no more power than some unicorn sleeping pants, but we give them a place of power when we allow them to keep us from moving forward into something better, or into the future God has for us.

How many women stay with an abusive man who has convinced her she cannot do better in life? I once spoke with a prostitute who remained under the thumb of her pimp because she felt that was the best she could do in life. She didn’t believe she deserved better.

How many men stay in a relationship where they are belittled and beat down?

How many of us stay in a job we hate? I can remember saying “better is the devil you know than the one you don’t.” I get it.

How many of us hate where we live, but are afraid to move somewhere new?

What about your career? I dreamed of being an actress on Broadway, but I let someone in my life convince me it wasn’t realistic to pursue, that I needed to go find a “real” job. So now, I just sing show-tunes to my intubated patients.

Yes, it’s good that I’m a nurse, but what I’m saying is, how often do we miss out on the best life for us and our families because we’re afraid to change pajamas? You see what I mean? Sometimes it’s easier to stay stuck in a routine we don’t really love, and that routine becomes a crutch. In fact, it becomes an albatross, or a millstone around our neck. It holds us down from enjoying the new gift we’ve been given, and we miss out on the fact that the new stuff may fit us even better than we could have ever imagined.

Well, I will report that she’s still wearing those old, ratty pj’s. The new ones are sitting in her drawer, still, but I’m hopeful that we can show her the truth. The truth is, change is scary, but it also brings blessing. Allowing fear to keep us from stepping out into the new, it only hurts us in the long run. We all could use a reminder of that. So, here’s to a new year of new things, new changes, new courage, and new confidence. I hope we all can embrace the new.

A Beginner’s Guide: How I Drew Closer to God

July 24, 2017 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

I’ll start by saying I’m no expert on spiritual matters. In fact, I’m quick to call myself a work in progress. I haven’t arrived at some divine place in my walk with God, my face doesn’t shine like Moses, and I foul up on the daily. So anything I share isn’t from some pedestal place of my creating. I just want to chat about how I went from point A to point B in my life as a Christian. I know without a doubt there’s a point C, D, and beyond that I strive for, but looking back over just the past decade of my life I am blown away. I am a different Brie in 2017 than I was in 2007, and of most importance is the truth that I didn’t change on my own. It was for sure divine intervention, but it also didn’t occur overnight. It’s matured a little each day, over time, and I thought someone might like to hear how. 

When I look back over the past eight years or so I can pinpoint certain decisions I made in life that I believe helped me to grow closer to the Lord. When you’ve created a distance between yourself and God, or perhaps when there’s a chasm related to sin, it’s not a gap that can be closed all at once. Asking Jesus for forgiveness and turning from sin is a really good start, but it also involves a daily decision to keep walking in that. So I guess you could say my journey back to God initially began with the decision to stop doing the things that I felt separated me from His presence. You never stop sinning, and every day of my life the Lord reveals to me new ways I can improve, but it has to start somewhere. My start began with absolutely stopping the actions I knew weren’t pleasing to Him. 

Reflecting backwards over the past six years or so one of the biggest actions I feel like I made to draw closer to the Lord was spending time with Him. It started when I took a job where I had to work every Sunday. I was so worried my relationship with the Lord would suffer since I’d be missing church on Sunday that I made the extra effort to seek Him all during the week. Every day I made the time to read my Bible, read devotions, pray, listen, and worship. I’ve done this every single day for at least six years now. I don’t think you can spend quiet time with the Lord, read scripture every day, pray it over yourself, and not be impacted by that. 


I also changed the type of things I let into my mind. I changed the books I read. I changed the movies I watched. I even changed the music I listened to. I’ve always been a person who really enjoyed music, but around 5-6 years ago I decided to take a 30 day challenge a Christian radio station suggested. In that timeframe I only listened to Christian music. After that I felt so good that I kept it going indefinitely. I’ll stop here to say that I love and appreciate all forms of music, and I never judge or think less of anyone who listens to secular music. We all do what we think is best for ourselves and our family. For my family we do not listen to secular music. I’m typically lost on social media when people do parodies or spoofs of a popular song. Lol. 

I also opened up the line of communication. I didn’t just reserve praying for meals and bedtime. I didn’t just pray when I wanted healing or help. I did pray for my needs and those of others, but I also praised the Lord for my blessings throughout the day. When I woke up I told him good morning, and when I liked my shower I told Him so. I worshiped in the kitchen while cooking supper, and I took advantage of semi-quiet times on the road as an opportunity to listen. Over time as you open your heart, speak to God about everything, and see His hand in it all, you begin to just chat with Him on the daily. It’s not to say God isn’t mighty and deserving of our reverence, but it is to say that He’s not some unapproachable, angry guy in the sky. He’s a Father who cares about our needs, all our needs, and loves to hear us tell Him all about it. As you make a point to talk to God more about your daily life you find that you create this open communication line that is just there. It’s like you never hang up the phone. He’s always on call, and the fact is you can’t talk to someone all day and not be close!

Last week I looked up at the sky and I said, “oh God, those clouds are beautiful!” Then it struck me that they had been beautiful the day before too. But also the day before that. And the day before that. And what about that sunset I last saw?! I wondered, did the sky just start becoming so lovely recently, or did I just start noticing it more? I felt like I just so happened to come to a place where I enjoyed it more. I was able to open my eyes and see the gifts from God in everything. I was able to see it in the beauty of nature, the health of my family, but also even in the circumstances of life that didn’t always work out as I had hoped. I was able to understand that God held control of all things, so even when things didn’t seem to work out, really they did. Because of Him. I think we’re all born to be optimists, seeing the glass half full. It’s the world that taints us. Being filled with hope, persisting in faith, and trusting in all circumstances has given me a positive outlook I never had before. It doesn’t mean my life is always perfect. It just means I know God is. 

I think it’s important to add this. Nothing we do in and of itself creates this relationship with Jesus. It’s not our actions that create our salvation. It just is. It’s a relationship of redemption and grace that awaits our acceptance, and other than agreeing that yes, you want it, there’s no other magical formula you must follow to achieve the fullness that walking with God supplies. I’m not trying to get into a theological debate on the steps to Salvation. That’s not what this blog is about. I’m going to assume that those seeking to draw closer to Jesus have received the gift of eternal life. My point is that I’m not trying to say our actions make this relationship. They don’t; His grace does. This is just me sharing how my relationship has deepened over time. I made purposeful decisions to seek His face and I think that helps. I’m grateful for the relationship I enjoy with Jesus, but if a recent trial with anxiety and depression has taught me anything it has taught me that I am powerless. I don’t have control of my life, nor do I hold the key to peace. I am humbled to realize that although I’m far from where I was a decade ago that I still have not arrived to the fullness of what He has for me. I’m reminded of this fabulous verse. 

Philippians 3

 12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I’m not there yet, but I press on. I’m just grateful I decided to participate in the race. Because when you’re running with God it doesn’t seem like a rat race or rush of a chaotic life that is spinning out of control. You still get weary, but there’s always a place to find rest. 

This is My Favorite Part

October 12, 2015 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

Some mornings I wake-up, and aside from the typical grogginess or unmotivated attitude to move vigorously through my day, I find myself more than just a little complacent. I find myself almost weighted down by a feeling of melancholy. Some mornings my body arises, but my spirit feels defeated. Lingering along the periphery of my mood is a sadness, a nagging inkling that something is amiss, or that something is wrong. 

Call it depression, call it hormones, or call it whatever you wish. I just know it leaves me wishing I were back in bed with my eyes clamped shut, covers tucked under my chin, and my thoughts turned off for a bit longer. 

As it stood, I knew my thoughts were dwelling too heavily on situations beyond my control, and I found my worries over my circumstances adding to my bitter, morning mood. I pushed forward, as I suppose most of us do, but underlying my actions to get ready ran the steady river of a bad demeanor, and it seemed persistent to stick there. 

But suddenly I heard a small tapping at the bathroom door. I opened it ever so slowly, and there stood my sleepy-eyed five year old. 

“Can you come cuddle with me?” She asked. 

And she waited patiently until I complied. 

I crawled with her into my bed, and her small frame tried its best to fill the divet in the mattress my own body had left behind. I scooted up against her, she laid her head in the crook of my arm, and I brushed the fine, wayward hairs off her forehead. 

“This is my favorite part.” She whispered. “Laying here with you. It’s my favorite part of the morning.”

I rubbed my hand back and forth gently down her slender arm, and I realized it was mine too. 

Whatever situations ailed me, whatever persistent problems tugged at my heart, in the end there was this. There was now. 

And this was my favorite part. 

A long work day might loom before me, but for now a loving child lay beside me. And that was my favorite part. 

  
No matter how hectic and stressful my shift may be, I knew I’d come home to an adoring husband, darling children, and a home warm with love. And that was my favorite part. 

If the situations I faced didn’t work out like I wished I would still have so much to be thankful for. I could focus on what didn’t pan out, or I could focus on all the things that did. 

Whatever my struggles, or problems that came my way in life, when held in comparison to my many blessings they fell flat. And that was my favorite part. 

This world was full of strife, but God’s goodness always won over. 

And that was my favorite part. 

I’ll Never Be the Mother I Need to Be. And Here’s Why. 

July 26, 2015 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

This morning before I left for work I took the time to lay down beside my four year old daughter. She didn’t wake, and she never knew I was there, but it happened to be the best part of my morning. I lay brushing the hair gently from her face, tracing my finger lightly across her cheekbone, and placing my hand lovingly on her bony back while I prayed. 

  
Thank you for the opportunity to learn, Lord.

I don’t always take pleasure in the pain of parental education. Honestly… hardly ever. In fact, the majority of the time I feel like a big fat failure, and instead of ending my days grateful for how I’m growing as a mother, I usually end up beating myself pretty severely for where I fall short. 

Why did I raise my voice so harshly at the two year old for peeing on the rug?! She’s two, for goodness sake. 

Why do I get so aggravated by the end of the day when they want to climb all over me? Instead of holding on to them I just want to be left alone. I’m never left alone!

I start out okay, and my intentions are good, but as the day drags on, and as my energy and patience wanes, I find myself with a short fuse. I love them more than the air I breathe, but in those moments all I really want is bedtime to hurry up and come. 

Guilt. Dirty, rotten guilt. That’s what I feel when the lights go down and their eyes close for the night. I don’t feel like I’m learning. Instead I feel like I’m lagging behind. I feel like I pray and pray to be the kind of mother my kids need, but I am left with the reality that I am not. Not even close.

I will never be the mother I need to be. 

And it’s in these silent moments of surrender that I realize I cannot be the mother I need to be for my children. No matter how hard I try. In my own strength I cannot change. I’m unable to not yell, not get angry, and not become frustrated at the difficulties inherent in parenting. And no matter how much I desire to do better, in the end I will always fall short. 

John 15:4-5

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

I will never be the mother I need to be. Not in my own strength. But through Christ I can do all things. 

There’s a lot I don’t know, but one thing I do. God called me to be a momma, and aside from being a wife, it is one of my life’s greatest callings. Because He has called me to it, I am certain He will equip me to perform it well. I will falter, mistakes will be made, but the desire to be the kind of mother God has called me to be does not change. 

I’ll grow weary, but He will give me strength. He will sustain me. I’ll fall down, but He will pick me back up. I will become discouraged, but He will renew my hope. I will fumble, but I will not fail when He is with me. Not really. And through it all, through each misstep I take, He will lead me. I will not become lost. 

As I rubbed my hand across my daughter’s shoulder blades this morning I prayed. 

Thank you Lord for this gift of motherhood, and thank you that each and every day I learn through it how to be more like the woman you desire me to be. 

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Thank you that I’m doing something special in this child’s life, and although at times I cannot not see it, and I definitely do not feel it, thank you that I am contributing to your kingdom in this little job I call being a mom. 

How Satan Steals a Woman’s Identity

July 16, 2015 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

Overall I would say I like being me, and I like the hats I wear. I go by many titles in this world, I hold many callings in my life, and I am blessed to have the opportunity to carry out several roles. But it’s easy with all that to lose track of who I am, what’s important, and which things define me. In fact, it’s common for the enemy to steal my identity, sew seeds of confusion, and trick me into believing absolute lies. 

Are you falling for it too? Here’s what I’m talking about. 

For example, I am a wife, and it’s one of my favorite callings in this world. I enjoy my role as my husband’s helpmate, but I think sometimes I could do better. I get tired, I get cranky, and I’ve been known to blow a gasket over minor details. My moods swing, my patience isn’t always present, and I absolutely cannot understand all of my husband’s behaviors. Seriously, I don’t know why he does some of the things he does, and in my confusion I get frustrated. 

I may say things I don’t mean. I certainly think them at times. Or I employ the dreaded silent treatment. I fall so short of the shining Proverbs 31 woman! Sometimes I am certain I’m a failure as a wife. 

But at least the children adore me, right? Well, most of the time. I love being a mom, but it’s also so hard!

I yell too much. I really should clean less and play more often. I’ve got to start reading them more books. And don’t get me started on Biblical lessons. I really need to step that up if I want them to be warriors for God. While I’m at it, I need to stop giving them so much junk food. I know ramen is easy, but I saw on Facebook that it causes cancer. So great; I’m giving my kids cancer. 

I love staying home with them, but as frazzled and short-tempered as I can get it’s really best that I do go to work some. I work as a registered nurse, and I know I really have the opportunity to positively impact lives in that field. Except a lot of the time I don’t. 

Nursing is difficult, and I get flustered at time constraints, personality clashes, and the physical and emotional toll the vocation takes on me. In the stresses of the position I mess up, slip up, and honestly sometimes just straight up slack. After all these years doing it you’d think I’d possess more knowledge or better skills, but I feel like a loser many a day on the job. 

And heck, between my home life and work I have absolutely zero time to commit to my other relationships. I’m a terrible friend, and my closest ones happen to be family. I guess they’re the only ones who could dare put up with me long term. 

I try to be kind always, and to be open to how I might be able to touch the lives of others, but honestly, I don’t know if I’m able. I don’t know if I’m capable, and I certainly don’t think I’m worthy. I desire to let God use me, but how can He? My past is so tainted I’m not sure why anyone would listen. 

So basically I’m a subpar wife, my children are forced to put up with a temperamental mother, and my patients are stuck with an average nurse. I stink as a friend, and my witness is that of a dirty sinner struggling to live up to the reputation my Savior has set for me. I’m a mess! 

Or maybe, just maybe I’m more. Perhaps I am known by the title of wife and mother, but that’s not all that I am. And I’m certainly not defined by my worst moments in those roles. I am more. 

I’m a busy friend and a frazzled nurse, but I am also the kind, loving heart the Lord has placed inside me. So even when I fall short, I am not my shortcomings. 

Life in this world is a challenging one, and in my moments of stress or self-doubt Satan will try and steal my identity. He will tell me I’m a bad mom or an undesirable wife. He will find where I feel my most weak, and he will pick at that slowly like a tender scab. He’ll often do it so quietly that I’m unaware of his schemes, unaware until I wake up one day certain that my failure to obtain perfection makes me less. 

But I am more. 

I am more than where I fall short, where I try to succeed, and in all the varied roles I possess. I am more because God says so. 

Romans 8:1

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

If God’s word is true, which I believe it to be, then I am more than my past mistakes. I am new. I am redeemed. And I am free. Yes, I’m a wife, mother, nurse, and friend, but above all things I am a child of the King. Above all things I am forgiven, and in Him I am brand new, white as snow, and precious. I am precious. 

So when I fall short, and I will, I can learn from my mistakes, but I will not feel defeated. I will remember that I am more than my failures; I am His. Those things do not define me; Jesus does. 

Rather than feeling I am less because of my past or what I fail to do, I can know that I am more because He lives in me. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I can feel peace. Instead of feeling defeat, I will be overcome with joy. I will remember that my identity rests in Him, that He died so that I may live, and live abundantly. 

The Day I Realized the Rumors Were About Me

June 11, 2015 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

I don’t think I’ve ever liked rumors. They always reminded me of an old party game I played as a kid where you’d whisper a phrase into the ear of the person beside you, and then they’d pass it along the circle. By the time it came back around it was always distorted from what it had been initially, and the rumor mill proved in my adolescence to always be like that. Distorted truth. 

As an adult I live a pretty simple life. I love my children, I dote on my husband, and try to exist peacefully in my own surroundings. I keep my nose to the grindstone and I mind my own business. It’s not that I don’t care about what’s going on out there; I just figure if it’s of importance I’ll hear about it eventually. The thing is that with this kind of existence I am usually the last one to hear what’s happening. Unless someone spells it out to me directly I’ll probably miss it. 

I like it this way. Less drama, you know? So imagine my surprise when I recently realized I was the center of a circulating rumor. It turns out an unfortunate incident had occurred with a friend, and somehow my name was tangled in the midst of it. In fact, I discovered through word of mouth that I was actually to blame for this situation. Per the rumor I had been the causative factor, yet I was the last one to know. 

Two weeks it seems. For about two weeks the whispers and erroneous conversations existed that placed me at the center of a vicious rumor, and I was clueless. The worst part, depending on how you look at it, was that I was innocent. I was in slack-mouthed shock and awe to discover I had been accused and convicted by the jury of public opinion. I had been blamed for something I had nothing to do with, and I didn’t even know it. 

Everyone else knew, and I was honestly devastated. I had been the victim of rumors in the past, but never as a professional adult, and certainly not when absolutely zero of the story had any truth at all. I felt like I was being slandered to tell the truth. I felt like my character had been defamed, and considering I took pride in my reputation this was just awful in my eyes. 

Indeed, I felt like people were staring, judging, forming false opinions, and I just wanted to scream from the rooftops, “it wasn’t me!!!”

But how do you stop a rumor once it’s begun, and especially after two weeks have passed? I felt helpless, and even if the truth could be told, would it really be heard? People form opinions, and they tend to believe the worst about someone. That’s easier than believing people can truly be kind. I knew that even my denial would be met with suspicious glances, so I shrunk inside myself. 

I felt injustice, and I felt shame. I felt worry over public opinion, and I feared the future environments I would possibly face. It felt like crap. 

I spoke to my husband, God bless his heart, and I ruminated over his kind words. “As long as you’re right with Jesus you’re ok, baby.”

I spent some time on this one, honestly. I knew my spouse was right, but I was angry. I wanted revenge, and I wanted to bring to the surface the person who had spoken my name in error. I wanted justice, even if it had been an honest mistake. 

The thing is there’s so many challenges in life that occur that give us the opportunity to practice our faith. These tough situations give us the chance to follow through on our belief that God has our back, and our reaction to these circumstances are the proof in the pudding. I think I neglected this in the beginning to tell the truth, but as I spent time praying and listening I knew that it was something I just had to let go. It was something else outside of my control in life that I had to surrender. 

When you want to really believe that God is for you, and that therefore no one can prevail against you, then you have to walk in that. You have to hand over some situations to allow the Lord to deliver you and bring the truth to light. Revenge seems more fun, but in the end, for me, trust was the only way I could proceed. 

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

When you believe this verse and wish to claim it for your life then you believe that He has all things under His control, even the uncomfortable, bad things. He works it all for my good, and I just have to move forward in that faith. 

This acceptance didn’t make it suddenly okay that people had spoken falsely about me, and it didn’t completely erase the emotions I felt over being wrongfully accused, or ridiculous rumors being spread about me. But it did ease my situation. I finally allowed myself to grab ahold of the feeling of hope that God would fight for me, and that truth would prevail if I kept a cool, level head. Regardless, I knew the truth, my conscious was clean, and my God was working it for my good. Even if I couldn’t see how. 

If I have taken anything positive from this, aside from a deepened trust in Jesus that most difficult situations bring me, it’s a heightened awareness of what rumors do. We could all benefit from the reminder that continued participation in gossip doesn’t just make for an entertaining conversation. It also ruins a real person’s reputation and makes for a very uncomfortable environment for them to interact in. And if it’s false information then you’re participating in slander as well. I know I’ll certainly keep this in mind from here on out.

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Meet Brie

Brie is a forty-something wife and mother. When she's not loving on her hubby or playing with her three daughters, she enjoys cooking, reading, and writing down her thoughts to share with others. She loves traveling the country with her family in their fifth wheel, and all the Netflix binges in between. Read More…

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