You could say I’m a praying wife. I pray for my husband often, and what more appropriate time than when my spouse is faced with an important decision. Just such an occasion recently arose.
My husband made me aware of a dilemma that he faced, and me being his partner in life he naturally asked for my prayer. We both agreed this was something we should think about, and definitely pray about before making any hasty conclusions.
As I began to pour over the thoughts of it all in my own head I became emotional as I tend to do, and I allowed my feelings to lead me as I’m also prone to it. Let’s face it; I was excited. The thoughts of this impending adventure sounded like a good thing to me, and despite the hardships or inherent difficulties I was ready to proceed. But the thing was it wasn’t just up to me. It was also my husband’s decision, and that was something I valued.
I began to pray for my man, but I realized quickly, thank goodness, that I needed to be careful how I prayed. I wanted to pray for God’s will, and sometimes that may be in opposition to my feelings. Usually good feelings are a fine indicator that it’s prudent to proceed, but not always, and I wanted to acknowledge that my excitement didn’t always allow me to choose correctly. But it was more than that.
I wanted to pray for my husband. I needed to pray for my husband. But I also wanted to pray for him with a selfless heart. That meant letting go of what I wanted, and praying that God would impress His will upon my spouse.
I couldn’t just pray, Lord, make him do what I want him to do! And though I’d never actually pray those words I wondered if sometimes my intent during intercession for him didn’t indicate just that.
And then it really hit me! What if he didn’t make the decision I thought he should?! What if in the end his heart felt different on this issue than my own? Would I still stand by my man when I didn’t agree with where he stood on this matter?
As I stood there at my bathroom sink praying in earnest for my husband I realized I had to let go of a few things first. I had to let go of what my emotions felt were best for us, and I had to release the whole darn thing to what God wanted. Because isn’t that what I wanted deep down too? And when it came down to it didn’t I just have to let go of holding control, especially over other’s opinions, and let God move in their hearts instead?
But when it was all said and done what mattered most was the solid relationship I held with my spouse. I knew in the deepest part of me that whether he heard God right on the matter, or whether what we heard was the same, what mattered was that we stood together. Even if that meant sometimes our opinions on certain matters stood on separate ground. Our hearts still stood strongly connected on the fact that we wanted to honor God in all our decisions, and most importantly we wished to honor God with our reactions towards one another.
We’re still praying, mulling things over, and discussing together what we should do, but I’m not worried. I know that no matter what decision is made in the end that it will be one where we stand together because that’s the choice we all have.