I found myself checking out an old book of an acquaintance on Amazon today, and after I read the synopsis I noticed a number of reader reviews. I began to read the reviews, and honestly I was surprised. I had never actually read the book, so I couldn’t say personally if it was any good or not, but some of the reviews made my jaw drop.
They were mean! Sure, I’m overly sensitive, but when I read some of those reviews I was astonished. Even if the book happened to be an assault to the English language and the entire concept of writing (which I highly doubted), I saw no reason for the personal attack by a handful of reviewers. Blatant honesty is one thing, but cruel, personal attacks are quite another.
I had experienced the same thing in my writing before with comments from strangers. They disagreed with something I had written based on my personal opinion and beliefs, so then they chose to call me bad names, curse me, and even suggest the world would be a better place without me in it. Seriously.
While the negative comments are extremely rare (thank goodness), and I mostly receive positive, encouraging comments, it’s the mean ones that get inside your head. I don’t know why that is, but for me it’s the cruel, ugly insults that get to me. It’s the discouragement that makes me doubt myself, and it’s the mean people who infect me with their poison.
When I was 19 I had a t-shirt that read “Mean People Suck.” I didn’t keep it very long though due to the way it was negatively received by others. I remember being publicly shamed by a teacher in college about the shirt. When I say publicly, I mean I was literally on a stage in theatre practice when she called me out. She no doubt felt the term was derogatory and related to fellatio as she chastised me for the slogan and proclaimed it wasn’t “very Christian” at all.
Shortly afterwards I threw the shirt in the trash even though the comment had come from the same teacher who refused me entry onto the dance team because I had a tattoo, but didn’t think it was necessary to tell me this for two years. She only explained her distaste for my “demonic” tattoo after I questioned her about it, and also after I had tried out fruitlessly for the team a second time, being unaware of her prejudices. All that time I had assumed I was over the 110 pound weight limit or something. You could almost call her behavior mean. But I digress.
When you start looking up the origination of the slang term “suck,” you’re confronted with differing opinions. And I’ll agree it’s not very pleasant sounding. I personally would flip my lid if my three year old said, “Mom, this dinner sucks.” I did like this that I came across. While I can’t stand behind this website for its accuracy, I liked what it said.
What I liked about this particular origination was the use of comparison. You had someone who was talented at making music, and then you had someone who wasn’t. To me, that’s what being mean is. It’s someone who is not very good at relationships. They are not good at cultivating human interaction, but are actually horrible at it. They literally suck the life out of other people with their harsh, hateful words.
This isn’t what God called us to be folks. He desires for us to lift up our fellow man, not suck the wind from their sails. In my interaction with the mean people out there I try to remind myself that not everyone is like me. While I’m certainly not perfect, I am trying. Not everyone is good at relationships though, and in essence they suck at them.
Not everyone knows how to cultivate relationships. Not everyone knows their calling in life is to build up other people, not tear them down. Not everyone knows that while you can honestly share your opinion with someone, you don’t have to personally ridicule their beliefs, skills, and/or life goals. While doing so might make you temporarily feel great about yourself (Gee, I am so clever at putting someone down. I put them in their place. Haha.), the effects of your hateful words last much longer.
And maybe I can’t do anything about the mean people out there. Maybe they’re too far gone. I’ll try to keep praying for people that God can change their heart, but maybe He won’t. I have no control over the detriment mean people cause, but I can control myself. I can make a point to not suck. I can make a point to use my words wisely in my interactions, and I can teach my children the same. Mean people learn it from somewhere y’all. It’s usually their mean ole momma.
So while I will teach my children to stand up for themselves, I refuse to show them how to be mean, and I think you know why. Because mean people suck. They suck the life out of those around them, and they are no good at walking in love.
So to everyone who needs to hear it, don’t suck. Let’s make the world a better place.
Aubrey Morelock says
You’re so right. And you make me smile, so, keep spreading your happiness!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much. I appreciate the comment, and I will
Joey Wilder says
I’ve encountered some of the same type senseless, out of left field, shoot to kill comments about my photography. I’m with you… Why would you even invest the time to do that? All I can come up with is it boiling down to the type person you are. A) Do you get joy in others pain? B) Do you feel the need to bring others down, in order to raise your self up? C) Are you jealous? D) Do you have absolutely nothing else to do with your time/life?
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Yep. I’ve had people take the time to email mean stuff before. People seem more inclined to speak if they have something negative to say, and it shouldn’t be that way.
Erica says
You are so right, mean people DO suck! Love reading your blogs! They always give me a positive outlook and put a smile on my face!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much! I certainly try to bring smiles to the face of others.
Sherry says
What happened to the ol’ adage “If you don’t have anything nice to say.. then don’t say anything at all”?
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
It’s certainly been forgotten!