- I recently posted a blog about the South, toting its positive attributes. I received a lot of feedback, mostly positive. One comment, though, really stuck with me. I kept going back to it in my head, not because it angered me, but rather it saddened me. It spoke of Southern churches negatively, and stated the ones the writer had encountered were void of the Holy Spirit. Ouch. I got to thinking about that, and I came to a conclusion folks. We have done this to ourselves. I’m sorry to say, but we alone are responsible for the bad reputation Southern Christianity has acquired. Only we could be responsible for taking a well-meaning phrase like, “Bless her heart,” and turn it into an insult. I even used it in my blog that day! I would like to convince you all that I truly wished blessed hearts on everyone, but that will not change the negative connotations that have come to follow the phrase. As I pondered on the mess we have created of Southern hospitality and Christianity, I was reminded of Olympia Dukakis in Steel Magnolias. In one scene she comments:
“Well you know what they say, if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me.”
I always got a good laugh out of that scene as I’m sure most of you do too. But when you really think about it, is that the personality you want to portray?
- When I became a Christian my life changed. It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly God began to change my character, and convince me to treat others in a way that He could be proud of, and in a manner that was reflective of Christ. I think we miss the mark on that a lot. I know I do. I’m guilty of looking at someone by outward appearance and making a snap judgement. I try not to, but I slip. We all do. The problem is we’ve been slipping way too much. This may make you angry. This may convict you. I don’t know. What I do know is that it has to stop. We are ruining our family name. When I say our family name I mean so much more than a simple surname bestowed upon us here on this earth. My maiden name is Graves. I love my family, and I love where I came from, but I’m here to tell you that my last name doesn’t mean a thing. It doesn’t define who I am or who I will become. That’s a big problem in our geographical region, the South, and it’s one reason we are so judgmental and hypocritical of our brothers and sisters in Christ. We look at something as silly as a name and think that defines who someone is. It doesn’t. My name doesn’t define me. What defines me is my adoption into the family of God. When I dedicated my life to Jesus I became reborn, and I got a new name. People forget that, and instead focus on who someone’s earthly daddy might be and where he works, rather than rejoicing that y’all have the same Heavenly Father. Or perhaps we look at outward appearance. “I can’t believe she wore that to church?!” If you are focusing too much time on the outfit you are clothing your outward body with then you are wrong! The focus should be how you clothe your spirit. We should desire this:
Proverbs 31:
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.
28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. -
It seems that the way we have decided to look at others, judge others, treat others, that this behavior is hindering our walk with God. It is also sabotaging our relationships with others. Sadly, it is chasing people from the church. It is giving us a reputation of a bigoted congregation, an empty building where God does not dwell. I hope that breaks your heart as it does mine. Love. This is what we need. This is what God asks of us. He asks us to love one another. We when are unable to follow this one simple command, He cannot live in us. When the hate, envy, and spite is taking up too much room, He is unable to set up residence. The devil seeks to destroy the church of God, and we are making it easy for him. We are allowing him into the house of God through our hearts, our hearts set on judging others. Lost souls seeking Christ’s love will not find it by way of our squinted eyes and pointing fingers. We have to lay that down. We have to lay down our petty ideals at the alter, clean the spaces of our hearts of all the trifling gossip, and make room for Jesus’s love, make our hearts a dwelling place for His spirit so that His light will shine from us and beckon the lost, the hungry, in essence our brothers and sisters, to join us in God’s house to celebrate His goodness. We have built an awful reputation for ourselves, and it’s going to take a lot of work to change things, but we have to do it. We need to do it. Let’s start now!
That is all 🙂
Shane says
Brie,
I didn’t read the other blog you wrote about the South, so I don’t know what all you said. But let me say this about Southern Christianity. I grew up in it, was born again in it, but I’m thankful I got out of it. My church experience in and around Union County was small country churches that loved Jesus, but were sorely ill-equipped to disciple people. That doesn’t mean they weren’t trying, and it doesn’t mean they didn’t have a heart for it, it just means they were ill-equipped to do it effectively.
Small country churches, then and today, suffer from group-think. They all are congregations of like-thinking people with similar life experiences and similar ways of dealing with issues. This is not good for problem solving and learning how to deal with the new challenges of a pluralistic culture. Everyone thinks the same way on social issues, cultural issues, moral issues, ethical issues, and no one ever enters to challenge those notions. Because of that they don’t disciple people in a way that prepares them for life in places other than their small fishbowl of a world. And since the world is getting smaller, when our young adults are confronted by new, different worldviews, they neither know how to defend their own worldview, nor can they identify why the alternatives are unBiblical.
Brie, I had to move away from the Bible Belt to have my eyes opened to this. Moving away got me away from the group-think. Not only was I exposed to different worldviews, but I was also exposed to different ways of discipling people, deeper ways to mine out the truths of Scriptures, etc. I’m not trying to be unkind, I am grateful for the churches I grew up in. But having been out of the Southern church culture for 16 years now, I can see that much of what I grew up with was very sheltered in terms of understanding the challenges facing Christians in the world.
I hope you understand that this isn’t an unkind criticism, but more of statement of my observations and personal experiences. I am hopeful that things can change as resources become more easily available.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
I appreciate the comment Shane and I can see where you’re coming from. I’ve experienced the “group think” of which you speak. I would have to disagree that this represents all Southern churches though. I might even be brave enough to venture and say that certain denominations are more prone to the behavior you speak about. My home church since I was twenty opened my eyes to a larger view of things, and continued me along that path with my discipleship training school and mission work they recommended. Are the majority like you speak? Likely. But not all, or I would be a very hungry girl with tunnel vision. That being said, I understand why you needed to move on. I believe God places us all where we need to be, and where we will be of the most use.
Shane says
I don’t think it represents all of them, but I do believe that what I experienced is a common experience. I was at a funeral recently and it was led by a family friend instead of the family’s pastor. The message he preached at the funeral was typical of the easy-believism that permeates a lot of the evangelical church culture. Now I know he wasn’t a pastor, I wasn’t looking for a perfect 5 point sermon, but this guy didn’t even get the Gospel right, which is the basic truths that ALL believers in Jesus Christ should understand. I walked away from that funeral discouraged at the thought that what he preached is probably accepted by many as the Gospel, but it certainly wasn’t what the Bible defines as the Gospel. Discipleship in many churches aren’t even getting the basic Gospel right. How can we turn this thing around?
I am overwhelmed by the thought of all this, but I’m also hopeful. I’m hopeful because God is faithful, even when we are faithless. I’m also hopeful because even when we botch the presentation, he can still save. Does that absolve us of being diligent in study? By no means! But it does remind us that even if we know all the facts, it is still God who saves, not our abundance or lack of knowledge.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Very good reminder and I agree.