- Random thoughts:
Last night when I laid down to go to sleep, Chloe was asleep in her bed (no applause required) and Bailey was asleep in her room. I felt so odd, like a limb was missing. I don’t know how to function without a kid hanging off me. It’s like when I occasionally, though rarely, go somewhere without them. I glance in the backseat and have a mini panic attack, thinking I left them at the store or something.
I am so used to having a baby cry, that I hear it even when she’s not crying. I sprang awake at 4 am and went to her room when I thought I heard her crying. She was fast asleep. The humidifier produces a white noise that is no longer peaceful to me. It only succeeds in playing tricks on my weary mind. I also heard her when I was in the shower. You guessed it. She was asleep.
As I gazed at my sleeping husband this morning, with his “more salt than there is pepper” hair sweeping back from his forehead, I realized something. He is more handsome to me as we’ve aged, then he was as a young man. I’m sure the depth of my growing love for him influences that a little bit.
I don’t drive fast. I’ve even been described as “driving like a grandma”. This morning, though, I realized that people looking for Saturday yard sales drive incredibly too slow for me as I’m headed to work. - Today at work I received training on a new emergency code we are going to start using. I’m talking about when they call out overhead “code blue” or something like that. Today’s new code that was discussed was one for the emergency case of a shooter on the premises. I’m talking about a mentally unstable person shooting innocent victims. We watched a very realistic film with a crazed man in black unloading his shotgun on scared people running about. Afterwards, my co-workers discussed their fear over such an incident. I am grateful that I don’t have to live in fear with my faith in place, but I will admit that’s a frightening scenario. It also saddens me to think of such a situation. Like the bombing in Boston or innocent deaths by abortion, senseless mass shootings make my heart ache for our country. We had several patients who were victims of violence, and a co-worker stated that we as a society were “going to hell in a hand basket”. I told her I still have hope. I started to sing “I believe the children are our future.” While I was making light of the situation, I do believe it’s true. Call me overly optimistic, but I have hope for our little world. I believe there’s good people out there doing good things. I won’t bury my head in the sand to the bad stuff, but I also won’t let the turkeys get me down.
- This morning I saw a post on Facebook from a friend who just so happens to have a relative I’m pretty unhappy with. This person was very cruel and unfair in their treatment of me and my family. It got me to thinking about it, and I was just stewing. I started replaying the offense, and adding fuel to the fire of my anger. As I spent my quiet morning time being mad at someone I may never see again, it hit me. This was a huge waste of my time. There was so many more important things I could set my thoughts on. So, I laid it down. I asked God to help me forgive this person, and more importantly, let it go. It had taken up enough space in my happy place. It’s gone! We all know forgiveness is the key to freedom, but we too easily forget. Thankful today for reminders along my journey.
That is all 🙂
ruthiespage says
everyday when I read this I feel like one of the family. love watching Bailey and Chloe grow up in your words and pictures. thanks for letting me in this precious loop! love you
Brie says
For some crazy reason this comment was in my spam. So I just now saw it. Thank you so much! Love you too!