Are you worried that your kid will be the butt of everyone’s jokes, the outcast, or the laughing stock of school? Are you concerned for them to be unique, weak, or sensitive? Well worry no longer!
The solution is simple, really. Instead of raising them to be compassionate, caring individuals, your answer is to raise a bully. Train your child up to be mean, abrasive, and demeaning to others. How you may ask? By following the steps below.
1. Don’t instill morals. That’s a pretty easy one, really. Basically just practice lazy parenting.
Let them watch whatever they want to on television, and same goes for music. In fact, the more lewd the lyrics, and inappropriate the role model, the better. Let them think that fame is the answer to happiness, dressing provocatively is where it’s at, and that Miley and Beyoncé should be the kind of women they look up to. Not you.
So while we’re at it…
2. Don’t set limits. Let them act like the little brats on popular TV shows. Don’t teach “please” and “thank you,” but instead laugh when they curse and encourage sassy back-talk.
Respect for their elders? Overrated.
As they get older make sure to allow free reign of Facebook and Snapchat. Buy them a mobile device as soon as possible, allowing them to search the web without restriction.
Don’t teach them appropriate behavior on social media. They’ll figure it out the hard way.
Never search their phone.
If children are given rules and boundaries they might think you care too much, and this will always lead to a child with a big heart.
A big heart=kindness. Kindness=weakness.
3. Model for them what’s important in life.
First, feel free to allow them to express themselves via whatever attire they deem necessary. Teach them that a pride in their own modest clothing choices is lame, and that adhering to name brands and what’s very popular at the time is THE ABSOLUTE most important thing.
Remember. Outward appearance is what counts, not your heart. So they should shun anyone who can’t dress in the fad of the moment.
And while you’re at it place focus on things like where you live, how much money you make, and who your parents are. Status is everything!
Also encourage names for those who fall below you in the food chain of life. Anyone below your socioeconomic level can be titled “trailer trash” or something similar. In my day it was “skank,” but you just encourage whatever the kids are using nowadays.
Laughing along with them will make you a popular parent. You won’t be respected, but they might tell you stuff. And since you’re not going to set a curfew you’ll find this useful to make sure you don’t have to spring bail. You’re welcome.
But most important…
4. Don’t give your child your most precious asset. Now, I’m not talking about the keys to your vehicle. I’m not even talking about money. I’m talking about your time. I’m talking about your affection.
If you want to raise an angry child who takes out their hurt feelings on others then please, please don’t pay them any attention! Make sure that work is more important. Make sure that time out with your friends ranks higher than reading bedtime stories when they’re young, and that playing on Facebook trumps listening to them talk about their day at school.
To really accomplish this, never show up. Like never. Don’t show up to their events, games, whatever.
Most importantly, though, even when you are around at home, just be there in body, but not in mind. Just be there, but don’t be present. Know what I mean? Check out mentally. That will really harden your child to the reality of life. They gotta learn sometime, right?!
And the sooner they learn how hard life is the better. You don’t want to raise a kid who makes the world a better place! You just want to raise a kid who can face this harsh world. Compassion is overrated. Love and kindness is for the birds. A heart of true courage by caring for those around you is a sign of weakness.
So feel free to follow all the steps above, and your child will be a bully for sure. In their neglect and feelings of rejection they will act out and hurt others before they’re hurt again.
Sure, you’re not helping to make the world a better place, but at least your kid won’t get picked on. They’ll be the cool kid, and cool kids always win. Look at Bill Gates.
Our lives-His Purposes, Ruthie's impressions says
I think you’ve got the right idea. To me, the bullies are the ones who are hurting the deepest most of the time. their woundedness breaks my heart the most.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Yes.