Yesterday I wrote this post where I described a dream I had about abortion, and in it I also described my opinion on abortion. My words were very descriptive, and today I received feedback from a reader who as a post abortion survivor was offended and hurt by my words. Since I never wish to harm anyone with the words I speak (or write) I responded back immediately, but I also decided I wanted to share a response here. It likely won’t reach as many as the original post because that just seems to be the weird way blogs work, but to the surviving victims of abortion, I do pray this post will find them. And to anyone else hurt by my recent words, I am truly sorry. I will always remember to be sensitive, even as I share my strong beliefs, but this is why I do it.
Dear Post Abortion Survivor,
I have to be completely honest with you, and I just cannot in good conscious hold back the truth. I am Pro-Life. I believe life starts at conception, and because of that heartfelt belief I have some very strong convictions about abortion. But that’s not what I want to discuss at the moment. What I really want to say is that while I am Pro-Life, I am also pro you.
As a child of God, above all I wish to walk in love. I desire the love and light of Jesus to shine from me like a beacon. So even though I hate abortion, I love you.
I’m not just one of those people with an opinion on the matter. I too have been personally affected by abortion. Anyone who has followed my blog for years will know exactly what I mean by that. I am a victim also, just not the same as you.
Many years ago my mother gave me her blessing to share her story if it might help others, and a few times I have. But mostly I hold it inside much like I’m sure you hold your own story of abortion within you. Because it hurts.
When I was four my biological father left my mother with three things: a hungry preschooler, an empty bank account, and a baby in her womb. When faced with the anxiety and fear of raising her daughter (me) penniless and with no other support system available, the idea of adding an infant seemed impossible. She made the decision to abort.
For over twenty-five years I watched her struggle with that decision. She felt regret, remorse, and pain. Through a relationship with Jesus she found some healing, but it was never brought to completion. She often told me that she knew God forgave her, but she couldn’t forgive herself. She died still feeling the pain of a past decision, but I find hope that now in Heaven she has finally obtained peace as she holds the child she gave up to abortion.
When I wrote my post yesterday I considered if it might cause harm to others. Someone very dear to me also is a post abortion survivor, and I worried if my detailed dream might cause her remorse. But in the end I decided to share because of my love for her, my love for my mother, and my love for you, the post abortion survivor.
I saw the pain abortion causes, and as I mentioned in my previous post, there are many victims of abortion, not simply the unborn child. After the pain of holding my mom as she cried about her abortion the thought of another person suffering that loss breaks my heart. And that was why I wrote what I did. That is why I share my opinions about being Pro-Life. I don’t want to see the murder of innocent children, but I also hate the pain it causes for the mother afterwards. If something I say can prevent that then that is why I speak out. Not to hurt, but to prevent hurt.
So to you the post abortion survivor I say a few things straight from the heart. I love you, and I am so sorry for the pain you feel. No words I speak can make it better, but God’s healing grace can comfort you. When I, and other Pro-Lifers share our convictions on the subject of abortion it is not to cause you pain. It is to prevent future pain in other women. It’s Satan making you feel any condemnation you feel.
For anyone who has judged you for your past decision, I apologize. To anyone who reads this post and judges my mother, shame on you. You really must walk in someone’s shoes to know why they make the decisions they do, and since you can’t really do that, you just love them. We’re all sinners in need of a Savior, and we are all wounded in one way or another. We all need healing, and we all need love. This can be found in Jesus.
So to conclude, I want to apologize if my words have hurt you. This is a difficult subject to discuss because it does wound so many. My intention is only ever to prevent harm, and my desire is to show the love of God. Yes, I am Pro-Life, but I am also pro you.
Sincerely,
Your Sister in Christ