I’ve honestly been astounded at the monumental amount of grief I’ve seen come across my Facebook newsfeed. Yesterday it seemed like post upon post was bad news, petitions for prayer, or news of someone in the hospital. At one point I saw a handful of mournful status updates right in a row, and one was even funeral arrangements. The thought of death and fresh grief transported me back in time to my own foggy Christmas, and I could easily recall how difficult it was to trudge through the season.
Christ’s birth! A time of celebration, but on the tail end of two successive deaths in our family, it was anything but. We tried to pull through by holding on to one another, but I still recall the pain I felt like a knife in my heart as I watched my dad trying his best to smile for us on the first Christmas Eve after my mother passed away. Like the rest of us, his heart just wasn’t there.
For so many the holidays are not an easy time, but rather a reminder of better times. It’s an inopportune pulling away of a poorly healed scab, and a blanket of guilt for not being able to pull through strongly like you know they would want. You realize in your heart that your loved one is in a better place, but that fact doesn’t make missing them go away. It just doesn’t. For many, the grief during the holidays is palpable, and it places an unwanted bad taste in your mouth.
There’s no timetable on grief. There’s no right way to heal, or wrong way to move on. There’s nothing consistent about our mourning, and if we had to find a single constant, a buoy amidst the crashing waves, it would be Jesus.
Life as a Christian doesn’t mean you’ll escape the pain of grief. Religion isn’t a magic spell, after all. But it does mean you are not alone. Even in the middle of very lonely places, He is there. You will have trouble in this world, but thankfully He has overcome it. He will bind up our wounds and heal the broken-hearted. To those grieving this Christmas Jesus would say this.
You are not alone, and your pain is not yours alone. It is my pain also. For every tear you’ve cried, I’ve cried two. One for the person you lost, and one just for you. I wipe each tear from your eye, and I count each one as it’s precious to me. I don’t judge you for your grief, and it’s not something you should feel guilty for. I just love you. I love you and I hold you, even when you don’t feel like being held. I lift your head, even when you’re unsure if you want to go on. I’ve counted every tear cried as my own, and every pain I take upon myself.
I want you to feel. We’re made that way. Just know that I am here. Just know that there is hope. Know that there is light. Know that the end of the tunnel is near, and that the end is really just the beginning. Know that one day you’ll mourn no more. Know that until that time you have my presence. I’m in the song of a bird, the laugh of a child, the kiss of a cool breeze. I’m even in all the red lights turning green right in a row. I’m the feeling you get when you laugh deep in your belly, the compassion you feel for your fellow man, and I’m even the sorrow. But I am also the comfort to your sorrow. I’m that extra measure just when you need. I’m the warm cup of coffee by the fire, the way the mug feels good on your bare hands. I’m peace, and I’m peace within you. I’m saving grace when you have no more tears to cry.
Hold fast to me, and even when the weight of pain bows you low, know that I am with you. Always present, always faithful, always saying come to me you who are weary. You will find rest for your soul. My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. My strength is made perfect in your weakness, and my joy can move mountains.
Rest easy child. Joy comes in the morning.
Christmas doesn’t have to be a jubilant time for you this year. Sometimes it’s enough just to keep going. But it doesn’t have to be hopeless. For there is always hope. It abounds. There is saving grace. There’s peace that passes understanding. It doesn’t come to us through this world, as the world gives. But it’s ever-present through His glory.
Psalm 34:18 ESV
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.