I’ve honestly been astounded at the monumental amount of grief I’ve seen come across my Facebook newsfeed. Yesterday it seemed like post upon post was bad news, petitions for prayer, or news of someone in the hospital. At one point I saw a handful of mournful status updates right in a row, and one was even funeral arrangements. The thought of death and fresh grief transported me back in time to my own foggy Christmas, and I could easily recall how difficult it was to trudge through the season.
Christ’s birth! A time of celebration, but on the tail end of two successive deaths in our family, it was anything but. We tried to pull through by holding on to one another, but I still recall the pain I felt like a knife in my heart as I watched my dad trying his best to smile for us on the first Christmas Eve after my mother passed away. Like the rest of us, his heart just wasn’t there.
For so many the holidays are not an easy time, but rather a reminder of better times. It’s an inopportune pulling away of a poorly healed scab, and a blanket of guilt for not being able to pull through strongly like you know they would want. You realize in your heart that your loved one is in a better place, but that fact doesn’t make missing them go away. It just doesn’t. For many, the grief during the holidays is palpable, and it places an unwanted bad taste in your mouth.
There’s no timetable on grief. There’s no right way to heal, or wrong way to move on. There’s nothing consistent about our mourning, and if we had to find a single constant, a buoy amidst the crashing waves, it would be Jesus.
Life as a Christian doesn’t mean you’ll escape the pain of grief. Religion isn’t a magic spell, after all. But it does mean you are not alone. Even in the middle of very lonely places, He is there. You will have trouble in this world, but thankfully He has overcome it. He will bind up our wounds and heal the broken-hearted. To those grieving this Christmas Jesus would say this.
You are not alone, and your pain is not yours alone. It is my pain also. For every tear you’ve cried, I’ve cried two. One for the person you lost, and one just for you. I wipe each tear from your eye, and I count each one as it’s precious to me. I don’t judge you for your grief, and it’s not something you should feel guilty for. I just love you. I love you and I hold you, even when you don’t feel like being held. I lift your head, even when you’re unsure if you want to go on. I’ve counted every tear cried as my own, and every pain I take upon myself.
I want you to feel. We’re made that way. Just know that I am here. Just know that there is hope. Know that there is light. Know that the end of the tunnel is near, and that the end is really just the beginning. Know that one day you’ll mourn no more. Know that until that time you have my presence. I’m in the song of a bird, the laugh of a child, the kiss of a cool breeze. I’m even in all the red lights turning green right in a row. I’m the feeling you get when you laugh deep in your belly, the compassion you feel for your fellow man, and I’m even the sorrow. But I am also the comfort to your sorrow. I’m that extra measure just when you need. I’m the warm cup of coffee by the fire, the way the mug feels good on your bare hands. I’m peace, and I’m peace within you. I’m saving grace when you have no more tears to cry.
Hold fast to me, and even when the weight of pain bows you low, know that I am with you. Always present, always faithful, always saying come to me you who are weary. You will find rest for your soul. My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. My strength is made perfect in your weakness, and my joy can move mountains.
Rest easy child. Joy comes in the morning.
Christmas doesn’t have to be a jubilant time for you this year. Sometimes it’s enough just to keep going. But it doesn’t have to be hopeless. For there is always hope. It abounds. There is saving grace. There’s peace that passes understanding. It doesn’t come to us through this world, as the world gives. But it’s ever-present through His glory.
Psalm 34:18 ESV
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Dee C. says
Amen!
Karl says
Merry Christmas Brie, I love your positive words and inspiring words. .
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you. Merry Christmas.
Dave Parsons says
Merry Christmas to you and your family Brie! Your words certainly resonate with me and as I get older I am so blessed to have the hope and promises of God to rely on! The pains and disappointments of this life fade when you think of the baby born in Bethlehem and the future He offers to us all! I see my precious 93 year old mother-in-law struggle so much! After having been such a woman full of life, grace and beauty all her life she now sits in a body that just barely functions anymore but within her heart there lives the promise of a life eternal without pain and heartache & she will be reunited with the two children she lost at an early age within a week of each other and the son whose body was racked by cerebral palsy all of his 67 years here on this earth & his old limbs that barely moved will no longer be and he will leap with joy when he sees her on the streets of that city God has prepared for us who love Him! Praise God!
Michaela Mcwilliams says
Amen. Thank you for your comforting words. I lost my beautiful daughter and Christmas is especially hard. But your words give me peace in the midst of pain.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
God bless you. Merry Christmas.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Amen!
Dottie Sims says
Brie, this was beautiful. It’s like you were writing this especially for me. You know how crazy in love I was with Mike. And you also know Shawn was a mama’s boy. So Christmas without them is so hard. But I also know they are sharing their Christmas with our Savior.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
I love you, Dottie! You have so much to look forward to in eternity. I’m so happy for you to be reunited with your loves. God just has some more he wants you to do here on earth with Michelle and your grands. This world is just a drop in the bucket, but the preparation for Heaven that you do here on earth is so important. God bless you and thanks for commenting.