Brie Gowen

Savor the Essence of Life

You’re the Reason People Hate Christians

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I recently was reading through a post on a public Facebook forum to which I belong, and I found myself drawn to the comments. After years of social media use I should know to stay out of that pit, but I fell in unaware. And that was when I saw it. Out of the woodwork came a commenter ridiculing the poster, and all in the name of Jesus. 

Indeed, the commenter took the time to not only share her personal opinion on the poster having a tattoo, but also decided to share that God is adamantly against tattoos. I guess because the two of them chat about it on a normal basis. 

Listen, I won’t debate in this blog whether I agree with tattooing. I won’t quote scripture that speaks against it, just as I won’t use other verses to state why Christians shouldn’t judge someone for it. Personally, I’m a Christian and I have tattoos, one being an ichthus, but I also got them in a time of my life that is far different from who I am now. If faced with the decision at this time I likely wouldn’t get them again, but that doesn’t mean I think you can’t have them either. I honestly don’t know. I’ll ask God about it when I sit at His feet in person.  

But this post isn’t about tattoos. I repeat, this post isn’t about tattoos. 

This post is about how Christians represent themselves to others and how they approach stating their opinion. 

When this woman decided to comment publicly to a stranger that his choice to get a tattoo was wrong because God didn’t want him to do so, she succeeded, but not in the way she intended. She succeeded not in changing his mind about tattoos, but in causing a division between herself and another child of God. 

I have no idea whether this guy was a believer in Christ or not, but I do know that if he wasn’t, he sure wouldn’t be drawn to Jesus by this lady’s approach. 

First, I do believe that as Christians God gives us wisdom and guidelines with which to discern right from wrong. He gives us His Word as a map of sorts by which we can live our lives pleasing to Him. When His people fall outside His Word we are called as followers of Christ to help bring them back to God’s instruction for their life, and in that sense we are given the authority to righteously judge. 

So we are instructed to abide by God’s Word and to help our brother not to stumble, but we are also called not to cast a stone unless we are without sin. We are instructed not to “judge” incorrectly. 

If you base someone’s self-worth on their actions or appearance, you are wrong. Everyone has worth because of Jesus. They just might not be walking in their inheritance. 

John 7:24

Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.

What happens when we judge incorrectly is that we push people farther from God. Instead of embracing them with love and acceptance like Jesus would do, then instructing them in brotherly kindness according to the Father’s will, we jump straight to telling folks how they’re wrong. When you do this, people just shut down. They don’t hear “God is love;” they just hear “I’m not worthy of God’s love.”

We battle in this world against principalities of darkness, and when we ridicule others for their mistakes in our eyes, Satan takes that opportunity to make the individual feel condemnation rather than God’s conviction. 

And this is why people hate Christians. If you do this, then you are part of the problem. You’re why people hate Christians. 

You cannot instruct a stranger on what they’re doing wrong. It just won’t work. A relationship must be present to help make instruction possible and fruitful. Do you really think you’ll bring Salvation through a Facebook rant? I guess it’s possible, but not likely. 

You cannot point out personal wrongdoing in a public manner. It’s not fair, and it will never be received well. Pride and hurt feelings will interfere with hearing truth every time. 

You cannot make a judgement call on someone’s personal decisions unless you are without sin yourself, and unless you are correcting them with the right intent. What I mean by this is if you’re piously pointing out a problem without the purpose of bringing someone closer in their personal relationship with Jesus then your motivations are wrong, and you have sinned. 

This is such a difficult subject and a very slippery slope. We are called to judge our brothers and sisters, but only with the intent and purpose of helping them achieve a better walk with Christ or eternity with Him. If we’re not covering our intentions with selfless love then they will most likely fall on deaf ears, and the only outcome achieved will be to push people away from the hem of His garment. Plus they’ll hate us for it. 


What Does Your Facebook Status Say About You?

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I’ve noticed a growing trend when I browse through my Facebook newsfeed. Yes, my friends’ children are still adorable, and love (or the longing for love) is still in the air, but there’s more than that filtering through my feed. Yep, college football is fabulous to most, and politics will always have its place on social media, but I’m talking about another thing that jumps out at me. And sadly I’m seeing it more frequently. 

People are angry. Yes, that’s always been present. Folks have always been mad about something, but I’ve noticed frustrations seem to be growing. And the tendency to plaster them on Facebook is even more prevalent. What’s worse is the manner in which we’re spewing our venom!

Here’s what I mean. How many ambiguous status updates do you see on the daily? I’m talking about the bristling bundle of raw accusation that drills a hole in some nameless poor soul. Someone will be so flipping mad at another person that they feel justified to share that frustration with the entire world, but they’ll keep it vague just enough to make the rest of us raise an eyebrow. 

Or perhaps it’s the continual complaining posts. The ‘woe is me, life isn’t fair, no one treats me right, my family is so mean to me that I’m going to keep griping about them on Facebook instead of spending my energy to possibly resolve this situation’ status updates. 

How about the raging posts about the apparent lack of service someone received at a business? Have you ever noticed some folks can’t be satisfied? Like absolutely nothing is enough. 

These seem to be the same people that lack empathy or the ability to walk one day in another’s shoes, or possibly try to see them as a person rather than a servant. 

These seem to be the same people who feel entitled to consistently be catered to, or have their every whim delivered on a silver platter. I call these individuals “Burger King Peeps.” They want it their way, right away. 

And while I’m in no way perfect, and I’m as guilty as the next of expecting things to happen a certain way, or my circumstances to align according to my desires, I do try to remember that we are all human. We all make mistakes, have off days, or fall short. I certainly can’t condemn someone for not meeting my expectations consistently.  

I get mad too, in fact I get blazing angry at times, but my goal is not to allow it to consume me. And above all, as a Christian, I try to remember that the world is watching me. They say you shouldn’t care what other people think, but when it comes to representing God’s kingdom perhaps we should all care a little bit more. 

If I consistently complain about my life on Facebook then what can be said about my grateful heart, that part of me that should be thankful for God’s blessings in my life? They’re there, you know? Even in the midst of a bad situation. 

What does it say about me as a disciple of Christ if I throw angry, careless words at another? Even if I don’t say their name. What does that imply about the power of forgiveness, or even how God is capable of softening our hearts towards our enemies? 

Don’t my quickly spouted words of rage endanger my witness? Do they not give my Father a bad name? 

If I can’t speak in love then what is the point? If I can only manage to be mad what does that say about me?

John 13:35 (NLT)

“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

So what do we need to see more of on Facebook? Perhaps love. Isn’t this how the world will know we are different?

They won’t rush to ask about Jesus on the trails of our angry rants. They won’t wonder what that special light is inside of us based on our complaints and unrealistic expectations of others. They will know Him when they see Him in us. They will understand His love more easily when it flows from our every word and action. 

You can post scripture all you want on your timeline, but if it’s followed by angry accusations and raging complaints then it just doesn’t align. It’s not consistent, and those who need to see the solidity of Jesus most will not find it by being your “follower.”

It’s a hefty responsibility, that of being a Christian, but no one said it would be easy. But the Bible does tell us we will be rewarded in the end. When that time comes, and I stand before the Lord, I hope that I will not be ashamed of my behavior on this earth. I pray that the actions I display now can be pleasing to Him forever. I pray that how I represent Him publicly is a correct representation of His majesty. 

My goal is to keep this in mind before I act, before I speak, and certainly before I hit the “post” button. 

So, I ask, what does your Facebook status say about you?

Growing Up Atheist

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I smiled as I thought about my five year old daughter, and it was at that moment I realized I was feeling better. I had been experiencing some pain in my body related to my pregnancy, and had voiced my frustration to my husband in earshot of our eldest. She had cuddled up beside me as I spoke, silently holding my bulging midsection as best as her tiny arms could manage. 

Suddenly she had spoken to me with certainty and very matter of fact, “I prayed for you, Momma. When you wake up tomorrow you won’t be hurting anymore.” Then she had trotted off happily. 

I was proud for my little lady, at all times, I suppose, but something about her childlike faith touched me at a place deep within, and I was then reminded of myself at age five. 

  
I can still recall a program that came on television during my kindergarten age days. It was aimed towards children, and it told the story of creation. At the time we were living in Los Angeles, California, in a small apartment, although it was much better than the motels we had been staying in prior. I watched the screen captivated by the images of a little man with a hammer, and I listened raptly to learn about how this figure, who I would later compare to Mario or Luigi, constructed the entire world with a ball peen hammer for no reason other than his own desires, or perhaps boredom. 

I watched with curiosity, but also apprehension. In my little heart this story just didn’t feel right, and I watched wondering, if the hammer guy didn’t make all this stuff, then who did?

I had heard mention of this invisible guy called God, and I speculated if he was responsible. I had never seen him, and we didn’t talk about him much at all. My mom had taken me to a place once or twice where they read us stories about how much this God loved us, but my dad had given her a hard time about taking me. 

“What, are you gonna follow all the rest of the sheep?!” He had asked incredulously, and had laughed and taunted her some more. 

We didn’t go back after that, but as I watched the miniature carpenter making a turtle on TV I pondered about the God who apparently was always thinking of me. 

Later in my life that God I wondered about would scoop up my mom and me, and He would place us in other circumstances, ones where we didn’t have to worry about disappearing dads and dwindling bank accounts. In this new life He would introduce us to trusting others, friendly folks, and a world where church every Sunday was the norm. 

In this new life I would hear more about that God who made me, without a little hammer, but rather with His mighty hand. And it would just sound right. More importantly it would feel right. 

But it would be years before I truly learned what the creator of the universe was capable of in my heart. 

I realize now that we were created with a purpose, and like an empty container we will always feel void until we are filled with the love of Jesus. We will always feel not quite right until we can walk with purpose in a relationship with the Lord, saturated in His Holy Spirit, healed by His forgiveness and unconditional affections. 

I spent the first part of my life not even knowing Him, but knowing something was amiss. Then I spent the next decade or more only partaking in a portion of the blessings He had in mind for me. It wasn’t until I came to understand how to commune with Him personally that I could reap the full reward of relationship. 

I am hoping to save my daughters the hardship of separation from Christ, and my goal is to show them what they are capable of if they follow Him with their whole heart. 

As I sit comfortably in the healing power of the Lord, and I reflect on the heartfelt prayers of my girl, I am pleased for how their little spirits soak Him up like a sponge. I am happy for the opportunity they have to experience Jesus. I know in this world they will be faced with trouble, but I am at peace with their futures having a foundation built on Christ. 

How Changing My Music Changed My Life

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You don’t have to listen to music about God to be a Christian, and four years ago I was certainly a believer in Christ. I was also a new mother, one who loved to jam to her tunes in the car. In fact, that had always been one of my favorite things. Motherhood didn’t change my love for good music anymore than the rededication of my life to Jesus that prior year had. 

As a teenager and young woman in my twenties I had always had a connection with music. I could feel it! I memorized lyrics, sang along, and the words, they moved me. It was no wonder I married the young boy who used to serenade me sweetly as he strummed his Fender, and my story of my music changing started about four years ago as I drove along the road, the radio up, with my guitar player’s children in the backseat. 

About this time my firstborn child was only six months old, and my step-daughter was seven. My radio dial rested on a popular pop station that played the latest top hits in secular music, and we all listened along as a reigning Diva dealt us her powerful lyrics. It was a catchy beat indeed, but I happened to be one of those people that also listened to the words, and I think my face lost most of its color as I heard the scenario she laid out. It blatantly described oral sex, and though my baby was clueless, I glanced back in the rear view to see if the seven year old had caught on. 

She gazed out the window contemplatively, and even as I told myself she had missed the sexual innuendo, I knew she wouldn’t keep letting them slip by. My husband and I talked about the incident, and we made a decision to keep the radio on a Christian station while the children were in the car. For their sake. 

I wasn’t the only one with a wide musical affection. My husband held the same interests, and we had grown up in a time of three inch wide CD folders rather than MP3s, so even with our church background I think it took some time for us to get used to the change of the radio knob. 

I’m not sure how much time passed before I noticed a difference, and I don’t suppose it happened overnight, but it happened nonetheless. I found several changes occurring in my life, my marriage, and my attitude, and although a lot of that had to do with my evolving relationship with Jesus, I started to think maybe the music played a part too. 

One day I found myself alone in the car, and a fundraiser was consuming the Christian channel I listened to. I switched over to a CD that still resided in the player, and the 90s grunge filled my vehicle. I’ve always felt music to be extremely powerful. It can convey such strong emotion, and it can affect you on a level that spoken word cannot. Just like how reading a book takes you inside the story unlike a movie can do, music also takes you to emotional venues you might not carry yourself in your own thought processes. And as I listened to the words and lyrics of one of my favorite CDs I caught the sadness dripping from his words. I wasn’t sure if my discernment had changed, or if I had changed, but the music made me feel very low in my spirit. I realized I would rather listen to phones ringing with callers offering donations than allow the mood of that music from my youth to altar the joy I felt in my heart. 

So I haven’t listened to secular music since. It’s not that I think there’s something wrong with you if you do, it’s just not something I choose to do anymore. The thing was that listening to Christian music had changed me, and I really liked that change. I didn’t want anything else. 

I liked that music about Jesus filled me with a deep peace, and though some songs caused me to grieve or become convicted, they never negatively affected my spirit. The music didn’t make me feel sad, empty, angry, or lost. In fact Christian music seemed to strengthen my relationship with God, and I realized that the action of worship only drew me closer to Him. It took me to new levels in my understanding of who He was, and though the music hadn’t taken me there on its own, it certainly had been a beautiful Segway to joy. 

My mood elevated, and I felt a calm clarity after absorbing truth on a musical level. I also noticed changes in my family. My husband had decided he wanted Christian music only in his head from then on, and he truly felt that his prior taste in music had changed his mood and perceptions for the worst. My girls started singing the words out loud, and their musical voices praising Jesus made my mommy heart smile. 

My daughter, now four, has begun to really listen to the lyrics also, and I’m pleased she hears about real love, not sexual affections. She’s started asking questions based on what she hears in the music, and it opens wonderful doors of discussion I might not have initiated on my own. She’s only a young child, but she’s understanding what the writers are trying to convey, and I can see her developing her own beautiful relationship with the Lord. As a parent, that is my greatest reward. To know I am filling her with positive, encouraging thoughts, and not impressing upon her that shaking her rump or getting drunk is the answer to happiness in life. 

Again, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with deciding to listen to secular music in your life, and although I do believe some lyrics encourage violence, promiscuity, and a deep sense of loneliness, I don’t think music is the only thing that affects us in life. I just believe it to be a piece of the puzzle, and I wanted to share that since I have changed the type of music I listen to at all times that I’ve seen a huge shift in my life. I’ve seen God use His music to bring me to a better place, and though prayer, His word, and altering other aspects of my life has worked it all together for good, this piece of the puzzle is something that was easily changed. It just took a turn of the radio dial to do the trick, and He did the rest.