- Today I looked in the mirror at myself. Don’t worry. I happen to check myself out each day before I go into public. Today, though, I really looked at myself. No, this isn’t a self-bashing post. It’s merely an observation on self. I saw how wrinkled by pants were that I had put on. I saw how stretched out the cheap cotton of my shirt was. I observed the stain at the bottom. No telling what that was. Did I really want to know? Child body fluids, I’m sure. I was taking a sans make-up day. My hair looked descent, mostly because I just got it done a week ago. I adore my blond hair, bottled though it may be, but for some reason will allow it to get absolutely horrific before I go to the salon. It’s like I have to let it go as long as aesthetically possible, to the point of utmost self-loathing, before I get it fixed. I’ve always known my personality, but being a Mom of young children has made it all the more apparent. I am completely and utterly low maintenance. This is a nice way of saying I don’t do a lot to keep myself up. I do just enough to not scare strangers. Today I noticed my pants were sagging off my butt. For some reason, my frugal, Mommy self, will not allow me to buy clothes that fit. I’m between sizes and refuse to spend money when I can just loose 8 lbs and get into my other stuff. Does that convince me to diet. Heck no! I like ice cream and fried chicken too much. I’m just blessed that my husband likes his low maintenance lady. He would probably die if I wore eyeliner or lipstick.
- Today also served to remind me of what a forgetful, basket case I can be. Thank God the two year old, going on 22, is able to help her poor, senile Mom out. Today I made a list for the grocery store. I purposely made it with my young recorder. Sure enough, I forgot the list at home. My tiny secretary quoted it back to me over our lunch of McDonald’s. Yep. I take my kid to fast food restaurants to consume fried nuggets of puréed animals parts. She likes it. Aside from being forgetful, I’m less than perfect. As we pulled away from Walmart, at the red light, Chloe called from the backseat, “I’m not buckled in Mom. Pull over.” Thanks again, tiny assistant. I forget important stuff sometimes. I give my kid candy too. Earlier I gave her a piece right before dinner? Why not? She still cleaned her plate. Sometimes I yell. It’s rare now, but sometimes I slip a bad word. Tonight I let the fact that Chloe swam in a bucket with the water hose count as her bath. I didn’t tell Ben that. I rushed to put her pajamas on when I heard him pull into the driveway. I’m sneaky sometimes.
- Why do I tell you all this? I suppose sometimes it’s good to talk it out. Other times it’s good to remember your weaknesses, so you can recognize your strengths. It’s good to remember that we all fall short, but maybe we don’t have to try so hard either. That perfectly put together Mom beside you in line may just be having a really good day. You know, you had one of those last month, for 2 whole hours. I recognize that I don’t put major time into my appearance. The important part is, I do try to make myself beautiful for my husband, and he recognizes that. I also have come to a place in my life where I hope my inside is more beautiful than my outside anyway. I pray each day for God’s light to shine through my life. Plus, I think I can get a little slack right now for the wrinkles and stains. I’ll have plenty of time for irons, clothes that fit, and something more expensive than the $10 rack when my kids get older. As far as the forgetfulness; I haven’t had a night of uninterrupted sleep since my positive pregnancy test in 2010. It’s understandable. I won’t sweat the small stuff, and won’t let anyone make me! Why? Because I’m a good Mommy. I know I am. I love my kids, and would give them a heart transplant if that’s what they required. I love being frazzled. I love being stained. I desire to get better at time management, but dang it, I even love being rushed. Why? Because it represents this season of my life. We’re gonna eat chocolate before dinner in our big pants in celebration of seatbelt safety and the ability to shop without a list or make-up. Rock on Momma!
That is all 🙂
3 Facts for the Day
- I’m sure you all have been wondering, where’s the Mommy mush? Where’s the ooey, gooey Mommy love posts that I’m so famous for? Well, here you go my friends.
- This morning when Miss Bailey awoke, I was surprised to see her right eye crusted shut. I had noticed it seemed a little red the day before, but was just watching it. It was indeed oozing goop. Her tiny, cherry nose was producing snot quicker than I could wipe it. Her eyes were red rimmed and tears coursed down her cheeks. As I looked down at her and spoke gently, her mouth turned up into a smile. It transformed her face into a radiantly beautiful and angelic sight, despite the obvious signs of illness. We enjoyed a leisurely morning just the two of us. Even though she was obviously not feeling well, she laughed and spoke with me, like the 8 hours she had spent in her room had been a month away from me. I ended up taking her to the doctor, more for the way the eye looked and a low grade fever, than for the sinus symptoms. Her white count was elevated, so it seems she’s fighting something off. Despite it all, she continues to be the happiest little thing I’ve ever seen. I was sitting in my chair about to play on my phone, and looked over at her. She was sitting on the floor watching me. She had a huge grin on her face, and was straining her neck to see what I was doing. I immediately had to put my phone down! I crawled into the floor and began playing with my precious girl. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of loving another person like I love my first daughter. I couldn’t fathom how I would replicate such an amazingly complex emotion like the one I had for Chloe. How could I make that work? My precious Bailey has made it come naturally. I didn’t even have to try. I just see her, and I do. God created us to love as He does. He sees each of us as individual, beautiful children, and loves us immensely, wonderfully, and without an end. I’m so grateful to be afforded the opportunity to practice such love.
- When Chloe was a baby of Bailey’s age, I adored her. As she’s grown, so has my love. Each day is a blessing to watch her grow and her little personality change and take on its unique characteristics. Every day she says things that amaze me, amuse me, and somehow make me want to laugh and cry at the same time. As she grows older, she says more often, “I can do it myself.” But I love that she concludes with, “But I need your help a widdle bit.” She has a heart of gold and loves everyone. Last night she told her stepsister on the phone, “I miss you. Come home now. It’s dark. Supper’s ready.” And today at Bailey’s appointment she placed her hand gently on the tech’s arm as he drew Bailey’s blood, and patted his bicep affectionately. I wondered if he noticed. Then he said, “I miss my daughter being little” and I knew he did. Chloe was so worried for her little sister. Upon discovering she was sick, she immediately grabbed her doctor kit and came up with a diagnosis. She deemed Bailey to have: Booger Nose-osis. She shared this with anyone working at the doctor’s office who would listen, no doubt sharing her consultation with her professional peers. The past two days in a row, I’ve had three different people comment on the above average, well behavior of my children. Does that make me proud. You bet your tootsies it does. But the thing is, I’d be proud of them anyway. Even on their worst behaved days, they’re my perfect little gifts from God. I feel like I’m living a dream right now. Each day is so full and amazing. All I can do is say thank you. Thank you Lord. And there you have it, your daily dose of Mommy cheese.
That is all 🙂
3 Facts for the Day
- I had the joyous opportunity today of taking my children to be photographed. If something can be stressful, nerve wracking, and just plain awful, while simultaneously being fun, amusing, heartwarming, and pride-filled, then that was our evening. It made me think that having a photography session is a lot like the journey of motherhood.
- We spent most of our day getting ready for pictures, even though they weren’t until six this evening. When you’re talking about a two year old and a six month old, you gotta start early. It wasn’t just having the right outfits. I also knew that how I structured our entire day could possibly affect our evening of pictures. I had devised a plan in my mind to insure that both children took naps, so as to prevent being tired later. I had bathed Chloe this morning, but ended up bathing her a second time. It’s near impossible to keep a kid inside during the summer, and would you really want to?! I actually ending up letting her swim a little bit. The plan was not so much that her eyes looked red or she got too much sun, but just enough that she would be pliable for a nap by three. In the life of a mother, you’re constantly making strategic plans. You’re like an army general plotting which direction to march in and make your attack. This usually ends in an ambush from enemy forces (strong willed mini-me’s), but today, for some odd reason, it all worked according to plan. Well, I did pray for God to help me today. Thanks for the back-up forces.
- The actual shoot was a comedy of sorts. Don’t get me wrong. The photographer was wonderful, and I can’t wait to see the pictures. The amusing part was my children. The baby, when placed on different benches, tubs, bowls, or mounds of grass, took each opportunity to shine like a natural star. She would smile brilliantly with a gummy grin, or look coyly at the camera as if to say, “I know you love me dahhling.” Chloe, the two year old, was like a tiny crack addict. I am so glad for a fast shutter speed, for that kid couldn’t be still. She was everywhere, and felt like running towards the camera lens was artistic apparently. While out amongst the trees, she kept asking, “May I go on an adventure? Please, please. Pretty with sugar on it?” I kept wondering if someone was paying her to look away from the camera, and looked myself for some hidden camera men taping a reality show for MTV called “Momma’s a sucker.” The photographer snapped away while I watched worriedly, hoping Chloe would stop shaking the baby. We raced against the setting sun, wiping sweaty hair from little foreheads, and offering sippie cups of water. Watching the photographer hoping to get one good shot of the girls, while one ate her dress and the other pointed at a squirrel, made me smile. The frantic, yet adorable amusement of it all, was reminiscent of each day we have together. Beautiful, chaotic moments that are a true joy to look upon; that is my every day. I can’t wait to see these moments in time, captured on paper.
That is all 🙂
3 Facts for the Day
- Chloe stood by the back door, actually standing on a tiny purple chair. She was peeking through the window and yelling through the glass at her Dad. “Look at my necklace Daddy! Hey Daddy? Look it, look it!” He was mowing the yard, something he put off last Monday and absolutely had to complete today. Chloe was trying to get her Dad’s attention from safely inside because she fears the lawn mower. Chloe didn’t care for the noise and certainly didn’t understand why he was doing it at all. Her little mind can’t understand things like lawn maintenance.
- She is a Daddy’s girl. I watched them earlier. She was hiding from him. We could, of course, see over half her body in plain view. She thought since her face was hidden and she couldn’t see us, then she was definitely invisible. When she appeared back in plain sight, we feigned surprise. Her Daddy proclaimed, “There’s Chloe!” The look of sheer joy on her face was priceless. It was the face of a child who knows her Father delights in her. I read Chloe books, but Ben prefers to tell her stories. Last night he told many, but one was Joseph and the coat of many colors. When he got to the part where he told that Joseph was his Father’s favorite, she looked confused. She said, “But I’m Daddy’s favorite.”
- As I saw Chloe standing in that purple chair calling to her Dad, I was reminded of our Heavenly Father. My God is always at work. I cannot always understand His purposes. My mind can’t fathom why He must do what He does. Like a child, I want Him to do my will, and right then. But my Heavenly Father knows what is best for me. He maintains my grounds so that I may find comfort and rest in the shade, without fear of overgrowth in my life. He also delights in me. I may think sometimes that I know so much. He smiles at me with unconditional love, knowing that I’ve still got some growing to do, things to learn, and matters to figure out. My favorite part, though, is I’m His favorite. Don’t worry my brothers and sisters. You’re His favorite too. Such a complex, unending, and unimaginable love as His, is capable of such a thing. As Ben turned off the mower, Chloe called out, “Daddy? Can I talk to you?” As I moved her chair and opened the door to let her out, I said, “Baby, you can talk to your Daddy anytime.” Isn’t that just wonderful to remember?
That is all 🙂
3 Facts for the Day
- Nothing will remind you of how amazing human willpower can be than working in a hospital setting, especially critical care. You will watch people deal with extraordinary odds, and come through barely scathed. I don’t mean they’re not injured. Oh, they are. The motorcycle accident definitely took his skin. The pneumonia has definitely taken her ability to breathe, especially after 50 years of cigarettes. That stomach operation has definitely caused pain, and taken away every bit of strength. I see people deal with pain they never thought they could, and bounce back in ways no one dreamed possible. I’m sure you’ve heard, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. While it is true, it’s not what you may want to hear in the midst of your trial. I watch people get to a point where they have nothing left, but then they do. “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
- One struggle I’ve been dealing with is work. I’m sure most people deal with that, but you know, sometimes it’s easier than other times. Some times it’s hard enough that you question yourself and where/what you’re doing. The past two weeks of work have been very stressful, and I actually just wanted to run away and hide. I always pray before work. I try to remember that there’s no fear when God is with me. I try and remember that He goes before me and makes the way. I say try because you can know something is true beyond a shadow of a doubt, but your stubborn mind will still try to play Doubting Thomas.
- Sometimes God uses His people to help you. I certainly feel like He uses my spouse constantly. Ben just seems to know when I need a hug, and I’m not talking about a quick pat on the back. I’m talking about those hugs that envelope you in compassionate strength and make you feel like you could melt into the love their arms and chest offer. Last night we hugged for a long time. Then we laid in the bed and talked about our dreams and God’s will. My help-mate left me calm by bedtime. Today I prayed with patients in pain and distress. Sometimes we all need a reminder of where we can turn when the road seems long and unending. “I lift my eyes up to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from The Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. (Psalms 121:1-2)
That is all 🙂
3 Facts for the Day
- There are so many small things in life that change when you become a parent. Summers out by the swimming pool just confirm this too me. Long gone are my sunbathing days, for now anyway. And I’m okay with that. It’s just an adjustment. One of the things that takes on a different light would definitely be going out to eat. When I had my first daughter, this one was a real adjustment. I wasn’t used to waiting to eat or only eating half my meal, or not getting to eat a hot meal ever again. As Chloe got older, I improvised and it seems a little easier this time around. That is not to say it’s easy. Oh no. It’s still a challenge, just doable.
- Last night my Aunt invited the girls and I to dinner. Dinner out is always an adventure. This week I’ve been blessed with being taken to dinner twice. Maybe people see how haggard I look and figure I need a break. Either way, I’m not complaining. The thing about dinner, though, is you never know what mood your kids may be in that evening. Chloe continues to allude naps like Harrison Ford alluded capture in The Fugitive. My Aunt, the toddler whisperer, managed to get Chloe to take one yesterday. Surely this would mean a good mood at dinner. But, alas, I almost forgot, we are in the midst of a whining phase. Thus, much of the dining experience included Chloe crawling under the table to come sit in my lap. “Hold me Momma!” I honestly don’t mind. Maybe I spoil her, but I know no other way to parent than to love them to pieces and give in to their desires if no harm will come from it. Oh, I correct and discipline. Don’t be mistaken. But I hold her just about whenever she asks. I didn’t have to hold her the whole time. She spent some time campaigning in the dining room. She went to neighboring booths introducing herself to strangers. Then she would come back to our table, loudly and proudly proclaiming, “He said his name was Carlton, Momma!” She even conned one gentleman into laying out candy so she would come over. My “crazy, protective Momma” alter ego had a moment of panic, “No! Don’t take candy from a stranger!!” But then my trusting side looked Mr. All Smiles, Santa Clause up and down and decided he was legit.
- Bailey was my angel baby. Yes, she has her moments, but usually is the easiest to maintain currently. As long as you pack a bag of tricks you can usually get some solid bites down of your own. Bailey likes little cheese puff snacks found in the baby food aisle. She also loves her new sippy cup. I put a little water inside, and she goes to town. She wouldn’t be outdone by big sister though. She wanted to be unbuckled from her infant seat so she could sit up and look around. She would stare at tables across from us and squeal until they acknowledged her. Then she would give her best giggle and revel in their compliments. Chloe ate 80% of my salad and 10% of her meal. She did manage to munch some of my entree and thought it was much better. Despite her treasure of acquired candy, when we went to leave she begged for a gum ball from the machine. It wasn’t the gum she wanted as much as to see it roll down the spiral shoot. After her first one rolled onto the floor (despite my warning of “be careful Chloe, it’s gonna roll onto the floor), she managed to empty my pocket book of quarters but fill her tank with sugar. We left with a full take out box of chicken strips and fries recovered from her plate. I was pleased to be walking out with a full belly and many oohs and aahs from the staff over my princess entourage. It’s not that bad eating out with kids; just different.
That is all 🙂
3 Facts for the Day
- Yesterday I had a topic on my mind, but ended up putting it away until today. I’ll admit I’m pretty fly by the seat of my pants when it comes to blog topics. I give the creative control to the big guy upstairs. I’ve always been such a control freak in my life, and I’ve started trying to treat my life like this blog (in regards to control issues). That issue goes along the same lines as my blog topic for today. If a plastic surgeon is an expert at giving you a facelift, then God is the expert at giving you a life lift. I’ve been in the process, for some time, of giving over different areas of my life to Him, and surrendering control of the problem places. One such area that has given me concern is my patience with my children. Let’s just be honest. Small kids can be really annoying. Sometimes I think my two year old could try the patience of Mother Teresa. Some days are worse than others. On those days I feel my pulse rise, and my voice usually follows. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children. Some days I just wish they would put me in time out. My desire is to not let my frustration overtake me, and end up saying something Chloe would lay on a couch and repeat to a psychologist in thirty years. I have been praying and praying about this. A fantabulous thing has started happening. I noticed my patience growing, and my reactions have mellowed. I’ve always been quick to love, but am becoming more and more, slow to anger as well. I was amazed at myself the night we returned from a full day of swimming. While giving Chloe a bath, she started to whine and cry about having water poured over her head. This is normally like nails on a chalkboard to me. I mean, what is so bad about getting your hair washed?! I only wish someone would wash my hair and me not have to pay them! That night, instead of raising my voice in frustration, I kept in mind what a long day we’d had. I instead devised a game where I told her characters from Spongebob got in her hair from the lake water, and we must wash them back down the drain to Bikini Bottom.
- A major area that The Great Physician has been operating on in my life is financial control. I’ve always been a super budgeter, to the point that I’m surprised I didn’t become an accountant. I keep track of every single expenditure, tracking debits and credits. I will plan ahead for future expenses in relation to scheduled pay days. I have been known to make charts. I haven’t had a late payment since 1997. I’m borderline obsessive compulsive on the whole checkbook and budgeting deal. Aside from my fastidious bookkeeping, I’ve also always been emotionally attached to my balance. What I mean by that is I find myself concerned over the amount that’s left in the account after payments are made, and worry excessively over if it’s enough if unforeseen expenses arise. I was like this even when I had a very high paying job in Maryland and I always had a size-able balance left over. My husband has been a major driving force in helping me with this one. He’s so relaxed about finances, to the point of almost making me want to stab him. It’s been good though. He’s shown me how to trust God for provision, while being a good steward. Funniest thing of all was he was right the whole time. When I finally stopped worrying and started trusting, I’ve watched things just seem to fall into place. We’re not Rockefeller’s by any means, but I recognize financial blessings abound.
- I was going to blog on this yesterday. I felt so good about it all. Look at me everybody! God is changing me! Then I woke up today and got knocked down a peg. It’s been a long day with a very clingy and very whiny two year old. She’s needed to be held a lot, and cried over minuscule occurrences all day. I’ve handled the day with grace and patience, but the struggle reminded me that God is still at work. I also did a little budgeting this morning. Ugh! I felt certain when I budgeted last week after payday that the bottom line looked much better than it proved to be this morning! It frustrated me, and I voiced that to Ben. Poor guy. He was just trying to get his pants on. I realized that there he was getting dressed to go work another long day supporting his family, and I had the nerve to complain about our checking balance. I felt humbled by God. I hugged Ben and apologized for my mini-rant. That made twice today that I realized God is still doing a work in me. That didn’t get me down though. I’m actually pleased that He continues to do it. Despite all my faults, nagging, complaints, and less than stellar attitude, He still speaks to me and works in my life. He is too good to me. I was listening to some praise music on the way to my hair appointment (which I nearly canceled when I didn’t like the bottom line balance) and thought of how good God is. Do you ever do that and then feel that pain in your throat and realize you’re going to cry. The thought of His goodness filled me with emotion. I am thrilled that He who has started a work in me is faithful to complete it. It doesn’t always feel good to be a mess, but it helps when I realize He thinks I’m a beautiful mess.
That is all 🙂
3 Facts for the Day
- If you read my blog regularly, then you know that my platform is usually varied. The post is sometimes humorous, sometimes serious, sometimes reflective, but it always (even if I don’t come right out and say it) has my love for Jesus sewn throughout. I typically follow His lead for what I write. That being said, I felt like He impressed something pretty important on me today. I was thumbing through Facebook this morning when something caught my eye that took me aback. It was a corporate sponsored ad, but I was surprised by their support of a lifestyle that I consider not to be one that God intended. There it is. I’m stepping out on a limb. I started to see a few other posts that made me feel like we have become a pretty tolerate Nation. Tolerance in itself is a good thing considering that it shows love to all mankind. That is good, right? Where I think it crosses the line, is where we as Christians become so tolerant of sin amongst us, that we stop seeing it as sin. It was like my drive downtown today. You can be on a very prominent street, that is considered so safe you would let your small child ride their bike unobserved. Look down and fiddle with the radio, check your phone, etc, and the next thing you know, you look up and you’re in a “bad” area of town. Well, what designates a bad area of town, or sin (since that’s what I’m really talking about) you might ask. The Bible does. I’m afraid we’ve begun to blur the lines a bit. We’ve made a Christian walk seem like a book we’ve all heard of titled “Fifty Shades of Gray”. No, I’m not saying anything concerning sadomasochism. I’m saying that we’re putting everything in a gray zone, and I just disagree with that. I think it’s black or white. (That’s not a racial comment. Don’t be silly.) Something is wrong or it is right. You are either for Him or against Him. Strong words, I know. Maybe it’s time.
- As I went about scrolling through my social media, while listening to God, I was reminded of a blog I read by a popular female blogger. I remember at the time, I just couldn’t in my heart, agree with her post. I really wanted to. All my friends adore the lady, and I really love her too. Then I realized, you can still love someone, but disagree with them at the same time. That’s kind of what this whole thing is about. You can keep on loving people. Just don’t love their sin. (No, I’m not saying that blogger sinned. Move on with me. I jump around quickly!) You may say, “Of course I don’t love their sin!” Well, maybe we all need to look at ourselves about that. If you tolerate someone’s sin, and tiptoe around it not wanting to hurt their feelings, what is that? If you become so focused on leading others to convert that you gloss over what is expected of a follower of Christ, then what is that? If you don’t tell a friend in a loving manner what they need to hear, what is that? (Not what they want to hear, but what they need to hear. Big difference). If you’re unable to stand up for what God has commanded in His word, and instead stick your head in the sand like an ostrich, what is that? Is it loving sin? Think about that if you need to.
- When I saw the ad this morning, I immediately went to research it. I then shared my findings with my husband. It’s something we will need to discuss together and pray about. We may be changing the way we do business, and that may have to exclude this huge corporation. We may not. I don’t know yet, but I know that we have to be mindful of these things. I know I can’t separate my family from the world, but I feel like we can make a stand for what we know God tells us is right. We can also stand firm against what we think is wrong. Does that mean we will go around condemning others while thumping our Bibles at them. No. I am one of the biggest sinners there ever was. I still am. I was thankfully pulled away from my former lifestyle by God’s love. He saved me, but I haven’t forgotten who I was. I will never judge anyone for where or how they fall! I’ve still got scabs on my own knees from my multiple falls. I will stand up for what I feel like is the life God has for His people, one free of sin. I have a sign in my yard that says “Arise” with the verse 2 Chronicles 7:14.
If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.
I see so much talk about our country “falling apart” or “going to hell in a hand basket”. Are we not all responsible for this? Should we not make a stand? Should we not arise and seek His face and His will for our country. We can no longer hide behind the excuse that we’re showing the love of Jesus by not saying anything and in essence ignoring someone’s sin. You don’t have to pretend a sin isn’t a sin to please people and try to get them to church. It’s a fine line, and I know it’s not an easy one. When I think of others, and whatever their life may be, I remind myself just how precious God, their Father, sees them. Seeing them through His eyes allows me to love no matter the offense. But sin is still sin. Chloe doesn’t run into the street because her Dad told her the traffic could hurt her. She knows not to run in front of a car, but even as much as I love her, I wouldn’t dare let her cross without holding my hand. I don’t want to downplay serious matters with my metaphors, but that’s the way my mind works. Our Heavenly Father has issued His desires for our lives in His word. We know. Now we have to act like it. Don’t let someone you love run into oncoming traffic. Hold their hand lovingly and show them where the crosswalk is located.
I know this post may upset some people. I am sorry if I offend anyone, but I’m not sorry for sharing how I feel and believe.
That is all 🙂
3 Facts for the Day
- As I rock a red-rim eyed little baby to sleep, I am reminded just how exhausting today was. More importantly, though, it was completely worth it. Today we decided to venture out of our backyard and make the trek to a local swimming hole (as us Southerners call it). It’s actually a park called Piney Grove that borders the river. There’s a partitioned off area to swim with a sandy beach and park amenities available. I’ve blogged before on how difficult it can be to go somewhere with young children. There’s a lot of preparation prior to leaving. There’s bags to pack always, but with young children there seems to be so much stuff you have to take. A day trip can feel like you’re packing for a weeks vacation. After I filled up the back of the van (Lord, thank you again for the new minivan with so much space!), I had to feed the girls, potty/diaper change them, and fix water cups for us all. When I got everyone buckled up, I realized I forgot to pack for myself. This happens a lot. I got a change of clothes, toys, snacks, and just about anything you would need for the girls, but I didn’t have a pair of undies for myself to put on after swimming. I am proud to say that after that initial trip back inside for myself, I did not have to go back again. (Maybe I’m getting better. No. I better not say that!)
- While a jaunt for a day of fun in the sun is magical, there’s no way I’d do it alone with a baby in tow. So I took my Aunt along for the journey. When I arrived at her house, she informed me that she was watching my sister’s daughter at the last minute. Two two year olds in water, and one’s not mine. Sounded like an adventure. When we arrived, I was pleased to find a shady spot. We laid out an old blanket on the sand under a tree, and I started making trips to unload the van. I made several. As I walked with a purple horse float around my waist, I was reminded of an old John Candy movie. Once we had all the stuff in our spot and organized, we could begin getting everything ready. What?! That was Chloe’s reaction anyway. “I wanna swim!” I reply, “I know baby, but you have to put on sunscreen and your life jacket first.” She wasn’t too happy about that one.
- We did eventually get it together, though, and we had so much fun. The girls swam. Despite my niece’s concentrated efforts, she did not drown. No one got sunburn. No one got sick or angry or fussy. (Not until the car ride home anyway). We played long and hard, and by the time we were on the road, all three girls were fast asleep. When we got back to my Aunts, Chloe did not want the day to end. She wanted to play some more! She was upset when I insisted on leaving, and naturally couldn’t understand when I said things like, “it’s late”, “need to get home”, or “get some rest”, “it’s been a long day”. As kiddos fall asleep (a little crankily I might add), I still say it was worth all the effort. All the preparation before hand helped us enjoy a nice picnic lunch, fun toys while we played, and dry clothes for the way home. For the past 6 months or so, I started prepping for my day each and every morning. I’ve gotten into the habit of starting each day by dedicating it to God and asking for His guidance and leading throughout. This daily prepping has really changed the way my day goes, and seems to make it a smoother one. I also put on the armor of God in the morning. Like Chloe’s sunscreen, it takes a minute, but the protection it provides is well worth the time. At the end of the day, it’s good to rest in God’s presence. I like to talk with Him, usually after I finish this blog, as I’m quietly rocking the baby. Every child needs rest after a long day. Even Chloe has laid down. Who knows what adventures we’ll find tomorrow.
That is all 🙂
3 Facts for the Day
- As I sit her blogging after baths and bedtimes, I feel more at peace. I can’t pinpoint why, but my day didn’t start the way it’s ending. I went to visit my Dad today. I’ve always been close to him. We had our moments when I was a willful teenager, but I never disrespected him, and I never had anything but love for him. As I became an adult, our relationship matured into a beautiful thing. We’ve always been able to sit down together and talk for hours, without running out of things to say. I can divulge my deepest secrets and heart-felt concerns to him, and receive his wise counsel in return. About a year after my Mom’s death, my Dad met another woman. They got married a little bit later. From the initiation of their relationship, I was very happy for him. She made him happy again, and that’s all my Mother would have ever wanted. My only negative thought would be how things have changed since then. It’s not anyone’s fault; I guess it just happened. When my Mom was alive, my parent’s home was constantly full with us kids, even the ones that didn’t live there. I saw my Dad a couple of days a week, and it was common for me to stay the night and talk with him until the sun came up. Along the time Dad got remarried, I also had children. So I’m willing to accept partial responsibility for the lag in our relationship. I’ll be honest, though, to say that it’s really bothered me not seeing him as much as I used to.
- I’ve had a couple of things on my mind thus far this week. I had a really bad Sunday at work. It had nothing negative to do with the hospital, my unit, or its staff. It was just a rough day in a critical care unit with critically ill patients. Most days are tough in that kind of setting, but the past two weeks have been especially so. It makes me wonder if how I’m handling the stress of the environment is changing, and that’s caused me concern. I usually let that all fall behind me as I run out the door, but yesterday I was surprised to see it had followed me. The first part of the day I felt rather downtrodden reminiscing on the weekend. I couldn’t shake it for half the day, and that really bothered me. Then today was one of those days in Motherhood where you cry out loud to God, near tears, begging Him to change your attitude before you inadvertently do something you regret. I mean one of those days where all the kids are cranky and you wonder “where did my sweet child go?” It seems like sometimes on those days, it’s just too much and you don’t handle it like you want to. Instead, you want to walk out and not look back. But of course, you don’t. On days like that, I always end up feeling humbled in God’s presence, and ask Him to strengthen me and help me grow into the Mother He wants me to be.
- All these things, plus other concerns on my back-burner, were present when I got to Dad’s. At first I made idle chit-chat, small talk. Since we don’t see each other as much, I don’t get to unburden myself on him anymore. I wasn’t sure if I felt comfortable confiding in him. But he’s my Dad, so eventually I did. He didn’t have all the answers or a perfect solution at hand, but he listened thoroughly and with unconditional love. It reminded me of Our Heavenly Father, how these circumstances paralleled each other. Sometimes you can fall out of relationship with God (your Father), and not talk with Him as much. You stop confiding and may think, “He just doesn’t love me like He used to.” Funny thing is, no matter your assumptions, He’s still your Dad. You can still make the effort to go to His house and lay your concerns down at His feet. He will always listen and provide His counsel. He may not provide you with your answer right then, but His peace will fall on you after you get the weight of worry off your chest. Today my Heavenly Father used my earthly Father to remind me just that. I feel peace now, and that is good. I still have concerns, but they are not mine alone.
That is all 🙂
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 149
- 150
- 151
- 152
- 153
- …
- 171
- Next Page »