- Today is Good Friday. If you’ve read my blog before, you’ll know that I, unlike most of America, don’t typically categorize Friday as good. Friday is typically a bummer day for me, as it signifies the end of my week at home playing full time Mommy. I try to fight off the blahs every week, but they somehow find me anyway. Today has been different though. Rather than dwelling on my own silly worries and stressors, I started my day off differently. I found myself digging in the scriptures for accounts of today approximately 1,980 years ago. I watched some videos and read different things. I found myself very emotional and crying a lot over the weight of it all. And why wouldn’t I? It’s such a humbling and amazing experience to actually quiet your own mind enough to ponder on the miracle that happened: the terrible death Jesus endured, the fact that He did it for us, the absolute amazement that God gave His only Son for me, and the wondrous resurrection that took place 3 days later; this miraculous action that still impacts us today. When I read back over my words, they don’t even seem worthy to describe what took place.
- We all have problems, struggles, and things that want to drag us down. I’ve shared before how I have dreams in my heart. I have prayers I consistently pray. Sometimes you have sins that want to return and weigh you down. I personally have been struggling with jealousy and coveting thoughts. Sometimes I see things other people have, and I want that for myself and for my family. I get angry and wonder why I can’t have financial freedom, or a big house, or luxurious family vehicle. It pains me to write this. Confession is difficult and makes you see your own dirty self. My temper is often short, even with those I love the most. I’m always on watch for pride. Sometimes I can be pious. When I look at my toddler, I’m reminded how parenting can parallel a relationship with God. I tell her the same thing over and over. I remind her when she’s doing something she knows she shouldn’t too. I forgive her and love her despite it all. I’m so grateful to be a child of the King. Oh, my dirty soul!
- But today is different. Wait, on second thought, every day is different. I can be free. I can be free of worries, and free from sin. It’s amazing what your day can be when you take a Resurrection mindset. He was so spotless, but took on my sin. He opened the door of relationship. The veil was torn. I don’t go to the high priest with a blood sacrifice, for Jesus pored out His blood as a sacrifice for me. Simply amazing. If you haven’t taken the time to let the weight of His actions fall on you, please do. It’s amazing that the weight of His sacrifice can somehow lift all the other sludge you have weighing you down and take it away. It is gone, and in its place is peace. “Peace be with you” He said. I took hold of it today. Have you?
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- Do you all remember Ben’s puppy, the former chewer of my bras and urinator of rugs everywhere? She is still a part of the Gowen family. When I was as pregnant as a whale, (far too hormonal, exhausted, and off balance, literally, for an energetic puppy) she relocated to her own little house in the backyard. She seems happy out there and gets plenty of play and exercise from Ben. As she gets older, Ben reminded me she hasn’t been neutered yet. This, of course, comes to our minds just as Spring is here and all things are twitterpated. Yes, Millie is in heat. Ben put her in her outdoor pen to ride out the fertility storm. I’ve had the blinds open and have been privy to see many a male caller. Earlier I glimpsed quite the romantic tragedy. A large, black lab entered stage right, sniffing away. She sees him and her tail tells the tale, that she is ready and willing to make his acquaintance. He looks up and sees his true love, if only for an interlude. I couldn’t help it. In my head I heard Lionel Richie’s “Hello. Is it me you’re looking for?” Like a poor Romeo and Juliet, there love affair has been cut short by Juliet’s well meaning parents. It has nothing to do with his breeding, though. A lab by any other name would smell just as sweet to her. (You better get that Shakespearian reference). Actually, he seems to be the one doing the smelling.
- Last night Ben came home with Chloe two Potato Heads, a Mr & Mrs. As I started to play with them with her, I was transported back to my early childhood. I told Chloe, “This used to be Mommy’s favorite toy when she was little.” If the truth be told, it was my only toy, at one point. Some of you know and done don’t, but when I was five years old, my childhood was very unstable. My Mom and I went here and there, after my biological Father, hoping frequent moves would somehow calm his need to flee. It never did. He would still leave eventually, taking all the money with him. We’d be left on our own in an unfamiliar town. Eventually he’d return and the cycle would start again. Between Kindergarten and 2nd grade, I attended five schools. My toys that came with me, stayed in boxes if they came at all. I remember living in a one bedroom motel room at one point. My Mom gave me her tape recorder. This is the one toy I had, and I would go into the bathroom for privacy and record songs I wrote for entertainment. I remember a cherished Mr Potato Head, who eventually got left behind as well. My toys and pets were unconventional. I sometimes played with dry ice and 60cc syringes my Mom would bring home from work at the lab. My pets were lab rats who’s professor had lost his funding for further research.
- I don’t tell you this so you can feel sorry for me. I tell you so you can know who I am, and some of the things that shaped the person you now see. First, I in no way blame my Mom for the Nomad lifestyle we lived in my early childhood. She was trying to save a marriage with a man who wasn’t willing to give, but only take. I respect her for how long she tried to make things work. I think the solidarity molded my imagination and creativity. I think the circumstances allowed my Mom to constantly and consistently show me how very much she loved me. I recall her giving me the last of the food, and her going without. And no, I’m not exaggerating. I never doubted how much she loved me, or to what extent she would give so that I could have. I didn’t need a box full of toys to know that either. I wonder sometimes if I give Chloe so much to try and compensate. It’s so odd to me that I would behave in this way, knowing that stuff has no bearing on love! I guess I could psychoanalyze myself for days, but I won’t go there. I don’t really need to. The one thing I’ve always liked is that I don’t allow negative things in my past to define my future. Don’t ever let that happen! Grow from it, learn from it, but never use it as an excuse to not be everything God has for you. I don’t think God wanted my biological Father to be such a poor example of what a Father is, but I know that He’s been able to use it to mold my character. I know that He sent me another earthly Father to raise me wonderfully, and that God has also been able to bring me to a closer embrace as my Heavenly Father as well. I really got off subject from starting with a Mr Potato Head, but we’ll just blame it on all that time alone in the bathroom.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- Some days I want to get down on myself because I can’t seem to get the things accomplished in a day that I want to get done. Other days, like today, I can completely understand why that doesn’t happen. Some days you feel like a broken record, repeating the same things, “Be quiet. Calm down. Don’t spill that. Pick that up. Put that down. Listen to me. I’m gonna spank you. 1-2-3…” Simple tasks, as you used to think of them, now take on a new life and become more complex and time consuming. You go to take your toddler out of the tub to dry her off and discover that despite the system you try to maintain, towels have gotten mixed up. Now your gentile skinned child is covered in man hairs. Bath take #2. It’s at that point you notice the hairs all over the floor and the kid taking a 2nd bath pours a very large cup of water on the bathroom floor. A quick bath has also turned into cleaning the bathroom and towels and a bath mat added to the laundry. Your first impulse is to be mad. Why can’t they adhere to my systems and my rules?! They’re so efficient! Then you realize you’re really trying to unrealistically ask others to be just like you. What kind of world would that be? And how many times do you think they wish you were more relaxed about your systems and rules? I love that I have to remind myself daily to calm down, take a breath, and enjoy the little things. When you can do that, you can have a great big laugh about the spills, body hairs, and sassy come-backs.
- Chloe was just watching one of her favorite shows. At the end, they always sing the same song. Today, she stated “I don’t want it to end yet.” I’ve seen and heard a lot of comments lately concerning the direction our country is heading and the impending doom of our civilization, to include the coming of our Lord. I decided to take on that subject for my Bible study today. Of the scriptures I read, I most enjoyed the words of Jesus in Matthew 24-26. I would encourage you to read it and allow God to speak to you personally as He did me. I don’t know if the end is near. We don’t have a song that cues us that the show is over. I do know that I will choose to live each day as if it’s my last. I will choose to be ready when my bridegroom comes. I will treat others as He would want me to. I will do well with what I’ve been given. I will not give up on my here and now, though, pining for my eternity. I will not lose hope in our world. God still has us here for a reason and is still preparing us for His Son’s return. I still believe there is good here and good people here. There is violence, yes. There is tragedy, yes. There are so many things I can’t understand. But then there is love too, and God showing it to us everyday in so many ways. So I would encourage you to open your eyes to the beauty and love of God and His people all around us. Take hope from that and enjoy the show until its final season does truly arrive. Be ready for that final song, knowing it will come, but enjoy it while it’s on.
- Update on the girls: I’m still on sick watch. Chloe woke up crying, which is never a good sign. I do think her throat was sore. I know mine was. I can’t not get what Chloe has. I’ve already told y’all about her sneaking off my plate and from my cup. It’s bound to happen. She remains very snotty but no fever. She hates to blow her nose, so I insisted this morning on using saline drops and a nasal aspirator on her. Wow. You would of thought it was sulfuric acid and an ice pick. It did the job though and will hopefully help prevent a sinus infection. I’ll probably do it again before bed. Heaven help me! Her mood improved after some chocolate milk. She’s been very clingy today, but it’s hard to decipher sick clinginess from her typical jealousy. Earlier as I got Bailey out of the bassinet to play with, Chloe called out, “I’m over here if you want me to come over there and play with y’all.” Bailey on the other hand, woke with smiles and giggles. I heard a little bit of stuffiness, but nothing that really sounded like a sick baby. Praise Jesus! I’ll continue to watch and intercede on that little one’s behalf. Actually, that goes for the both of them. Please continue to pray along with me. I loathe sick babies. It makes me sad. I got them out for some fresh air and sunshine today (God’s best medicine). So we’ll see how it progresses.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- Chloe has had a runny nose since Saturday. Since she had no other symptoms, and especially since she’s been in such a good mood (not sick acting at all); I have not made a trip to the doctor. I’ve just been watching her, giving her vitamins, drinking lots of water, etc. I’ve also been praying for her, of course. I’m a big fan, so to speak, of Divine healing. Laugh if you will, but I guarantee you that if you find yourself in a situation where modern medicine cannot help, then you will end up crying out to a higher power. It’s like we were programmed that way. My God is quite the Healer in my personal opinion. I speak from experience having been healed from Epilepsy that I suffered from the age of 8 until 20 years old. I still remember the stunned look on my Neurologist’s face when he saw my EEG results and proclaimed, “It’s a miracle. It’s completely normal.” I’m not daft enough to expect my God to heal every sniffle. Some things need to happen for immunity sake and other reasons. This could be a very long discussion, so I’ll say simply that I believe in God’s healing, His will, and the fact that He gave man the brains to develop Medicine and Medical Practice. I am a Nurse after all y’all.
- While praying for Chloe, I also prayed for sickness to stay away from little Bailey. Late last night, Bailey and Chloe both seemed to not sleep so well. The first time I got up with Bailey, I quickly noticed the difficulty nursing due to a snuffy nose. I suctioned her easily enough, but I could tell she was getting big sister’s cold. At one point as I rocked her to sleep, a blurry eyed Chloe toddled up and climbed into my lap as well. I felt the dΓ©jΓ vu of soothing two sick kiddos. I was hesitant to put Bailey down alone in her room with her breathing being hampered through her nostrils, so she slept in my arms most of the night. This means I slept little and had a baby on my boobs all night. Early this morning, I truly needed at least an hour or two of real sleep. So I reluctantly put the baby in her room to sleep. When I returned to bed, Chloe had her eyes open and was sitting in my spot, eagerly awaiting my return. I laid down and she wrapped her arms around me. She tried to slip her hand down my shirt, but I told her my bobbies needed some time to themselves! I’m still watching my girls closely, giving a little sinus medicine to help ward off an infection, and praying for their healing. Feel free to join me in persistent and faithful prayer.
- I should probably remember to say a prayer for my safety or ability to pay better attention to what I’m doing. I recall taking my razor down from its high shelf and placing it on the side of the tub. Somewhere between me running the water and getting in, the razor fell into the tub. I found it with my foot, with the full weight of my body upon that foot. It was hanging from the meat of my foot when I lifted it. I sufficiently filleted a large portion of the sole of my foot off. So bloody too. It’s strange how your reaction to things changes when you have kids. The most prevalent thought in my mind after it happened was “Thank God it wasn’t Chloe!” She, on the other hand, was worried about me enough for the both of us. She ran to get her package of My Little Pony band aids. The event did have the advantage of installing more fear in her of my razor than my words alone would have done. So feel free to join me in prayer for my failing thought processes as well.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- I realized today that I get more timeouts than my toddler. And I don’t mean the good “calgon take me away timeouts either”. I’m talking about the Mommy timeout, or the times that I take out of my day to stop what I’m doing for myself and do something for someone else instead. I’m talking about when you’re getting dressed and stop in the middle of the process to pick up and feed a crying baby. I’m talking about when you’re doing some task and stop to teach a valuable lesson along the way. I’m talking about today when I halted my make-up application to sop up a river of urine. Chloe’s tiny potty also serves as a step stool when the lid is closed. I now realize she chose to take her first pee of the morning in that potty. She later chose to use it as a step stool, half way across the house, in her room. When a 2 year old carries a pot full of pee across the house, it spills. When it’s full of pungent and abundant, early morning pee, it’s a lot of smelly mess. So we have a new rule. It can either be a potty or a step stool, but not both.
- I don’t want to count my chickens before they’re hatched, but I think something magical is occurring at the Gowen house. I’ve noticed little signs of an opening in my toddlers heart, a doorway to let her little sister inside. This morning she asked me “where’s Bailey?” I told her asleep in her room, and she seemed kinda sad, stating, “I wanted to see her.” Lately she’s been acknowledging her existence by talking to her, kissing her, and playing with her. This is leaps and bounds away from previous requests for me to “put her away” or even “accidental” knocks to the baby’s head while I was paying her more attention than Chloe. Don’t get me wrong. She’s still jealous as ever of anything that takes my attention away from her, but I’m seeing small changes that are making me hopeful. When I found out I was having another girl, I was excited to be able to make my little girl a best friend for life. I think I’m beginning to see the budding start of just such a relationship.
- Today was like all Mondays are for me, just wonderful. I love them as being the one day we are all together as a family. I tried to sleep in a bit, but my precious infant daughter had other plans. I cannot tell a lie. When we first got up together, after I fed her and changed her diaper; I then placed her in her bassinet and put her in front of the television and dozed off on the couch beside her. No, it’s not the best parenting style, but Momma was tired! As it turned out, I only napped for another 30 minutes because she began to talk so loudly to the characters on TV, that I couldn’t sleep anyway. We spent a lot of time today running errands, but even that seems more fun when I have my best friend, my husband, by my side. We ate out for lunch, indulged in ice cream (despite the chilly weather), and visited Chloe’s favorite department store at her request (Walmart). She specifically requested the blue Walmart, not the brown one. I recently took her to a newer built Walmart than the one we have in Corinth. It seems old Walmart design is a blue building, while the newer ones are brown. Naturally, she finds the blue paint much more soothing. I’m sure you will all be stunned to know she somehow convinced Ben and I that she needed a very large Sponge Bob stuffed animal. Yes, we are suckers for that cute little face. When Bailey learns to talk, we’re gonna be broke for sure!
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- Before bed last night, Miss Chloe needed to potty. It was a # 2. She normally sits on the big potty, but has taken to sitting on her little one to poop. And boy did she ever. Then she wanted to dump it into the big toilet. I objected, stating I’d do it, but she insisted. She said, “Don’t worry about me Momma. I can do it myself!” I supervised and then she sat back down to finish her doodie. I found it all so adorable, as only a Mother can, and went to tell Ben what she’d said. That wasn’t smart. I must have really been tired. I returned to the bathroom to find Chloe with poop smeared on both toilets, her hands, hanging off her butt, and used toilet paper scattered about. I gotta give her an A for effort, but supervision is definitely still required.
- I was super relieved to get home. I know I always say that, but it was especially true today. It was a terribly exhausting day. I think roller skates and a personal assistant would have been useful. As it was, I was left feeling like I had donated blood, twice.
- I was greeted, as always, by my own personal fan club (always boosts the Mommy self-esteem). Chloe had found her Easter basket and had it filled with a plethora of small toys. She was very proud to show me her collection. There were actually a bunch of tiny beads in the bottom that looked like they’d been stollen from Bo Dereck. I have no idea where she got them, but I’m sure I’ll find them in the carpet via my bare feet for weeks to come. I was pleasantly surprised to see Bailey happy to see my face. It’s not just my smell now. I know she is recognizing my face. She grins at me with this half-mouth, Elvis like smirk that she inherited from me. The expression says, “Hey you. Where you been?” She didn’t know whether she wanted to talk to me or breastfeed more. So she did both. She would drink for a minute, then stop and coo animatedly like she was truly telling me about her day. It was precious. Despite my tough day, I’ll go to bed with a prayer of thanksgiving on my lips.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- On Friday nights I try to go to bed early in the hopes of receiving what might be resembled as a good nights sleep. I know I’ll be awakened in the night and have accepted such, so tucking in early is my only chance. I threw caution to the wind, though, and stayed up late playing with Chloe after the baby fell asleep. It was great. I can’t explain the joy you can experience when you throw off your adult harness and just play like you’re 5 years old again. We had to shut the door so Daddy wouldn’t get on to us for being too loud. We gave zerberts, whispered secrets, told stories, and had a tickle fest. I can think of no better reason to miss out on sleep.
- The baby has been doing pretty good with sleeping at night. She’s usually asleep for the night by 9:30. She’ll stay asleep till about 2 am. She doesn’t so much wake up crying at this time, as she comes out of her sleep state briefly to eat. After eating, she’s back to sleep until 4 or 5 am. Without fail, if I’m working, she seems to wake up to eat within 30 minutes of my alarm going off. It almost physically hurts to look at the time and realize you’ve been woke up and only have 20 minutes or so before you have to get up for good. Thankfully that only happens two days a week. I was exhausted this morning though, and that will mess with your brain function. I pulled a tub of conditioner out of the cabinet, but when I was in the shower and went to open it, I realized it was Tuck’s pads! Don’t worry guys. My coffee kicked in before I assumed patient care.
- Sometimes 12 hours go by quickly, and that was the case today. I was grateful to just be able to go straight home without switching vehicles or picking up kids. My sitter came to my house. While it may be inconvenient for the sitter, it’s extremely convenient for me. As I looked at all the dirty dishes in my kitchen this morning, I was glad she’s family and I need not worry about a dirty house. I did put the meatloaf pan to soak, knowing that she’d go to cleaning my kitchen. She ordered Chloe a toy today that was featured on Nickjr. I had to laugh. She used to spoil me like that too. Looking at my clean kitchen, she still does. It was great to have both girls vying for my attention, even if I was tired. Hugging the baby cures all ills. It’s like holding a ball of goodness, so sweet and lovable. Chloe entertained as always. Ben came in the door within the hour, and now all is well. All my chicks in the nest, and Daddy rooster here too. Life is good.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- I feel kinda melancholy today. I don’t know what people think of me when they read my blog. Do they think I’m a goody-goody, a hypocrite, a wanna be super Mom, or perhaps unrealistic? I don’t suppose it really matters. I spent far too much of my young life worrying about what others thought. I decided some time ago, with God’s help, that I need not be concerned with others’ view of me. All I am is reborn, remade, redeemed. That being said, I share so much of my personal life, opinion, and experiences because it feels right. It feels like something I need to do, and if you enjoy my open sincerity, then I’m honestly pleased. I pray over what I write, and I think it’s something I’ll keep doing for now. If you have any suggestions or requests for topics you enjoy, please feel free to message me.
- Now, I’ll get off that tangent and back to the melancholy feeling I’m in. I suppose it’s because it’s the end of the week. I sometimes get that way right before going back to work. I’ve prayed and prayed about it. I feel like God has put desires in my heart for something different in my life. I feel like those dreams are still to be realized, but His timing is different than mine. I know He is working. I know He is changing my heart and attitude on things. I know He doesn’t want me to forget the dreams He’s placed in my heart. I think He enjoys my persistence in prayer. I could be wrong, but that’s how I feel. I would hope that it’s apparent to anyone who reads my daily ramblings to know that I love my life beyond measure. So when I speak of dreams and desires, I’m not dissatisfied with what I have. Rather I feel like God has placed those desires in me to challenge me to want to go further with what He has for me and my family. Some days in the waiting, I have to remind myself it’s for a purpose. Let me know if you agree or this makes sense to you too. Sometimes I feel alone in this blogosphere.
- Today I put my infant daughter in her Bumbo seat. She looked so big sitting there, yet when I looked down on her from a standing position above her, she looked so small. Hold that thought. She sat and watched me fold laundry, giggling and making razzing sounds. It’s absolutely fascinating to watch a baby grow, to watch them learn new things and become more independent. Yet, they still depend on me, no matter how much they grow. This is especially true when they realize they can’t accomplish something on their own. Children’s lives so easily and simply parallel that of a relationship with God. I have grown so much over the past few years, but I realize I am still very small (especially from the vantage point of God’s eyes). I have learned so much, but still have a long way to go. There is laughing and there are tears in the growth experience. I have things I want to do, but if I’m not there yet, I can’t do it. I’ve got to crawl before I can walk. It’s when I realize I can’t reach something and ask for help, that my Father picks me up and lifts me higher. Sometimes I forget that though, and try to do it myself or scream like Veruca Salt “I want it now!” Perhaps that’s what my mood today is about. I want it now God. Patience my child, He whispers to me. And now you know, dear reader, that I am still a baby myself.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- My day started off as it should, with a cup of coffee and smiles from the baby girl sitting next to me. She stared at me questionably, wondering why she would have to wait approximately 3-6 hours for a secondhand sip. I fixed Chloe a bowl of cereal that she requested. She proceeded to pick at it half-heartedly until she finished off by dumping it all over the table, and it found its final resting place in a puddle on the floor. After my much needed cup of joe, I decided to partake in my own delectable bowl of Cheerios. That’s when it happened. The biggest surprise to me, is that I was somehow surprised. Before the spoon was able to grace my lips, out of nowhere she came, the dreaded Cereal Bandit. Chubby little fingers came in like a super ninja swiping my honey nuts. I don’t know what happens from the box to my bowl. Chef Ramsey would love to capture the secret ingredient that magically infuses itself in a Mom’s portion of food. A bland meal suddenly becomes irresistible when transferred to my lap. Amazing. I have basically surrendered to the fact that I will be sharing from my plate for the unforeseeable future. Unless I can grow the resolve of Anne Sullivan, I got to settle for a little Helen Keller table habits.
- Around lunch time, my sweet baby girl is usually ready for her big nap of the day. I can’t help it. I will plan and schedule around this nap now that she’s showing it to be her new pattern. When I put her down for it, I get excited and go into my race mode. I realize that if I’m lucky, I’ve got four hours that I could accomplish things in without holding, rocking, patting, or nursing an infant. I always take this opportunity to get a bath. I don’t do showers much anymore. You can’t hear babies crying or toddler’s schemes with a running shower. After my bath today, my little clock in my head started ticking as I thought of all the household chores I wanted to accomplish while Bailey napped. Nothing is set in stone, I reminded myself. She could easily wake up after only 30 minutes, so I better get moving. I soaked too long. It was then that Chloe appeared in the doorway and peering up at me, she begged “hold me Momma.” So I did. I tried to get up and put her down a couple of times, but she pleaded “No Momma. Hold me.” I looked at the clock on the wall and decided that nothing I needed to do today was as important as holding my girl when she wanted me to so badly. So we sat there and watched cartoons together. At first she didn’t even look at the TV. She just buried her face in my neck. And that was all the confirmation I needed to know I made the right decision.
- We ended our day by going out to eat. Going out to eat is always interesting with kids. If you have young ones, then basically you should set your mind on the fact that you may not get to eat. Our dining experience started with Chloe appearing to be a miniature OCD patient. She brought in her own silverware (purple with princesses on it) and began to polish her tiny fork and spoon repeatedly with her napkin. She got a big kid go cup of white milk. At one point she took a big gulp (perhaps too big) and ended up spewing it across the table. When I asked her why she did it, she quickly replied, “You see, I was drinking milk, and a lot of it, and I drank it a lot, and I wanted some more.” Oh. Well that makes perfect sense. When she got her plate of fish, she proceeded to eat her tartar sauce with a spoon. Bailey, on the other hand, took the bringing of the entrees as her cue to begin screaming like I had poked her with Chloe’s fork. All in all, I was able to pat her up on my shoulder with one hand and eat with the other, ingesting a stellar 50% of my meal. Mommy dieting at its best. I decided to pack up the remainder of our plates in a go box after Chloe yelled out in a frightening tone “I gotta pee!” After a mad dash to the potty, the appetite is completely done. That’s what microwaves are for.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- I’ve come to discover that my toddler cries more than my infant daughter. I’ve been thinking for some time that the two year old seems to be causing me more strife than the baby. I really don’t think I’d be able to function if the baby wasn’t so mild-tempered. Don’t get me wrong. She can shatter glass when she gets going. The point is that she doesn’t get going that much. In fact, she’s so low maintenance, that I’m surprised I have to pick her up to feed her. I almost expect her to just float on over and start nursing herself. I’m half way joking. The baby is work. I suppose I just feel like I have to put forth more of an effort with Chloe.
- With Bailey, she’s gonna cry because she’s hungry, got a dirty diaper, or she’s tired. Occasionally she cries because she wants to be held or she’s bored, but 9 times out of 10, she can entertain herself. I often feel bad for the kid cause I’ve put her down in front of the TV or something while I’m trying to take care of Chloe. I used to think deciphering baby crying was hard, but it’s nothing compared to toddler crying. I wish I had a dollar for every time this week I’ve asked Chloe “why are you crying?” It’s not because she’s tired. She cries before and after naps equally. Earlier I asked her why she was crying and she replied, “I just want you to be my friend.” If she was manipulating me, it worked. I also feel bad, like we get in this terrible cycle of it. She cries for a silly reason and that makes me wanna yell at her. Me yelling at her does about as much good as her crying because she doesn’t want to pee before we leave the house. I fear that I fall short and yell way too much!
- As we left the house earlier, following a silly crying spell to usher us out the door, I saw something really neat. As I was driving, I saw a beam of sunshine illuminating the pavement in front of the vehicle. It was overcast everywhere else, but right in front of my Jeep, it was a beacon of light. As I continued to drive, the beam of light stayed one car length ahead of me. It reminded me of a giant flashlight from above, illuminating my path. I was reminded how I start every day with a simple prayer. I ask God to guide me, lead me, and protect me and my family. The beam of sunshine leading the path ahead of me was a gentle reminder that God does just that. He guides, leads, and protects me and mine. I also pray often that He help me to be a better Mother and Wife, and that my actions would please Him. I think His Heavenly light also helps daily to illuminate my actions so I might always strive to do His will and please Him with my life. I take comfort in knowing that I don’t have to parent in the dark, but rather I always have a light to make my paths straight. I still wander off course, I know, but like a Lighthouse beacon, He draws me back in the right direction.
That is all π
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 158
- 159
- 160
- 161
- 162
- …
- 171
- Next Page »