I recently had a friend send me a text message that kind of took me off guard. Although her message was an encouraging one in which she called me a SuperMom (a title every mom needs to hear), it still made me wince a little as she went along.
You see, in her text she described a conversation between her and another friend about me, where they discussed “how together” I had this mothering gig, and as I read her words I felt like a fraud. For although the one lady had recently seen me successfully maneuvering my three young children through the grocery store, what she had not seen was the way I had yelled at them just that morning for simply doing something that kids do.
Because we all have moments where we fall apart. Those cringe-worthy instances where we lose our cool, say something we regret, and feel like the absolute worst mom in the world. Very, very far from SuperMom, in fact.
And I think it’s that way with most anything we assume we see in someone else. The grass is greener and what-not, and some other woman always seems to be so well put together. On the surface, that is.
Yet below the surface lies the truth, and it’s this hidden life that we may never glimpse.
For example, the totally chillaxed mom in the grocery store probably just flipped out three aisles back.
The woman with the “perfect” figure in your eyes may suffer daily as she obsesses over counting the calories of the 15 grapes she had for breakfast.
The wife with the marriage you envy may cry herself to sleep because her and her husband exist like roommates.
The multi-tasking lady who manages so many spinning plates may have fallen apart this very morning when the stress of so much responsibility crashed on her head.
The “perfect” Christian may suffer with pornography addiction, and the happy housewive next door may drown her sorrows in bottles of wine each night.
Because the fact remains no one is really perfect, and everyone suffers their own pain, regrets, and failures. And even the most put-together woman has days where she hardly feels like she is getting by.
What you see on the outside is sometimes a mirage, but even if it isn’t, the point is that you only see a portion of what someone else walks through. We all have our own unique struggles, weaknesses, and areas where we fall short.
And as far as I know only two human beings have ever been perfect. One is a fictional character named Mary Poppins, and the other died on a cross for my sins. Anyone else who appears practically perfect in every way is just having a good day.
So if by any chance you look at my homeschooling photos with the idea that each day is roses and rainbows then I’ve got news for you. Most days are great, but some days I want to pull my hair out by the roots. And I feel like a big, fat failure.
If you see me laughing in carefree abandon at the local Walmart it’s only because I’m .3 seconds away from a nervous breakdown.
All women have their talents, but all women also have their breaking points. Each person has something about them that’s really great, and chances are that someone out there looks at something in your life and wishes they had it together as well as you.
So in the end the best person’s life to look at longingly is your own. The fact is you’re amazing.
Sharon says
Brie,
I always enjoy your writings, but tonight you have really hit the nail on the head. As women we all look at someone and wish we could “be like them” or think “they have it all together” better than we do. Your words of wisdom help us all to realize that while we are all imperfect and make mistakes, we are all incredibly blessed. God bless you for blessing us with your writings.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.