Most days I feel like I’m running a race in which I quite never finish. I think I see the line up ahead, but then I look down at my feet, and when I gaze back up, exhausted and dizzy, I realize I still have so much further to go.
Will I ever get there?
I can’t even keep up.
Parenting is paramount. It’s this huge, daunting task. Yes, it’s wonderful. Yes, I love it. But when it comes to the day-to-day tasks of survival I often feel lacking. I often feel lagging. I typically feel as if I am falling behind in the unsurmountable mountain of things I must do just to keep us from drowning in trash, dirty dishes, and laundry.
There’s so many distractions. Places to go, events to attend, errands to run. I love the recitals, church programs, and school activities, but many times I’m just longing for a down day. Is it too much to ask for a snow day already?
I do good. I know deep down I do, but still I feel like I’m one step behind. I complete something, and look up with pride, hoping for some reward. Usually I’m just greeted with the next task.
I can’t keep up.
It’s a practice in futility.
As I proudly unload the dishwasher, and I put away the last cup, there they are. They want more drinks, more food. Which leads to more crumbs, more dishes. One mess ends, and another begins.
I’ll tell myself, “just one more.”
I’ll unpack one more box. I’ll do one more load of laundry. Just one more thing…
But there’s always one more thing. There never isn’t.
I get so tired. I get so flustered. I cry out to God, “I can’t keep up!”
And He says…
You have done enough. You are enough.
Galatians 6:9
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
A little hand taps on my waist. I turn to see a smiling face holding out a balloon, and I use my hot air to fill its latex insides. As I tie the knot efficiently she smiles at the task I completed that she could not do alone.
So I play balloons, batting it back and forth as giggles abound. The dishwasher hums in the background. The dryer sings too. But the most lovely sound is musical laughter as we have play. I manage to keep up with this game just fine.
Parenting is paramount, but it is also rewarding. It’s daunting, but it’s wonderful. It’s work, but it’s workable. It’s a race I keep running, but one that I realize I can pace. I grown weary in mind and body, but my spirit moves on in peace.
My children smile at me. I hug them tight, I hold them eagerly breathing in their essence. And I realize, I can keep up with that.
Peggy Brown says
Beautifully said!