This morning I woke suddenly after a good eight hours of sleep, and although the house was still miraculously silent with nary a whining child to be heard, I knew that I was up for good. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to fall back asleep; I just knew I couldn’t.
My nose was stuffed-up, and as I lay there I knew it wasn’t a cold to blame for it anymore than it was some sort of virus that caused the accompanying headache and nausea. I was just pregnant. Heck, last week I saw double and blurry for thirty minutes straight, and if it hadn’t been for pregnancy as the causative factor I’m sure my nursey brain would have considered it a tumor. Pregnancy is one of those rare times where physical symptoms are ER visit worthy if not for the whole “oh, I’m just pregnant” factor.
Even as I go through this a third time I’m no expert on the insanity, and I still find myself surprised by how something so small can make you feel so hugely impacted. Aside from the frustrations of persistent symptoms, I’m also blown away by the irony of the entire scenario. This wonderful, beautiful, life-altering situation is absolutely great. But it is also absolutely exasperating.
Here’s 5 reasons, just this week, that pregnancy has seemed like the most ironic thing ever to me.
1. You’re getting the most sleep in a while, but you’re more exhausted than ever. Seriously. When I woke up this morning I was like, thank you Jesus for a good night’s sleep. After all, I understood the horrible thing called pregnancy insomnia that would overtake me soon, and I was grateful for the solid eight hours I got. I mean, solid other than waking up twice to pee. But still, I was happy for so much sleep.
Normally I get around six hours, but when I become pregnant I have to get at least eight or I feel as if I am literally dying. Yet still, by 1 p.m. I am certain that if I don’t get a nap I will fall out where I stand. I don’t end up getting a nap so by 4 p.m. I am ready to break into frustrated tears.
So much to do. So little energy to accomplish it. I used to stay up until 2 a.m. with my spouse having conversations long into the night. Now I pry myself off the sofa by 11 p.m., a string of drool on my cheek, and succumb to the sandman early. But despite my extended night of rest I am more exhausted than ever. I’ll take newborn baby lack of sleep over pregnancy fatigue any day of the week. Just saying.
2. You’re sore when you didn’t work out. I always let it sneak up on me, that crazy, sore muscle, pregnancy thing. I find myself on the couch at the end of the day, and I’m like, “honey, my butt hurts.” Seriously, I will feel like I did that old video Buns of Steel, or I will feel like I’ve been performing the lunge challenge all day.
Why? Why do my butt muscles hurt? Why do my legs hurt? Why does my back hurt? And my arms?! I haven’t been working out. I may have cleaned a little house, but I don’t recall participating in a decathlon.
Pregnancy has a tendency to make you feel forty years older all of the sudden, and I’m just super excited that I still have six months to go. That last month is the best.
3. You’re starving, but too full to eat. I don’t know what it is about pregnancy, but for me food never tastes so good as it does when I’m expecting. I’ll suddenly crave stuff I haven’t had in years, and when the delectable flavor touches my tongue I’m all, oh, this must be what heaven is like.
So I fix a submarine sandwich, or perhaps an entire ginormous pan of lasagna, but sadly after only half of what my eyes thought I wanted is consumed I suddenly feel as if I couldn’t take another bite. Abdominal overcrowding coupled with the acidic fires of hell churning from my tummy leave little ability to lick my plate clean, no matter my desire.
4. You’re the happiest you’ve ever been, but you’re crying more than ever! Oh my goodness. I am growing a human life inside my womb. Soon I will hold the sweet gift of another child. It’s so magical I just want to, I just want to… Cue emotional onslaught of torrential tears.
And you don’t cry just at sad stuff. You cry at happy stuff, or basically anything. This morning I bawled at a Remax commercial. I was just so happy for that family finding their dream home. And then the orphan they adopted. Excuse me a moment; I’m getting my phone wet with joyful tears of remembrance.
5. It’s only nine months, but it seems like the longest wait ever. This morning it hit me that I was only thirteen months into this thing. Thirteen months! Didn’t I find out I was pregnant like a year ago already?
When you’re dealing with the excitement of a new arrival, or the passage of symptoms like sciatica or reflux, it seems like the big day will never come. Then after they’re born time does this wacky thing where it just flies by. Babies become toddlers, toddlers become preschoolers, preschoolers become little kids, mom gets more wrinkles and gray hair. Great. Now I’m crying again.
The point is nine months isn’t that long at all in the grand scheme of eighteen years or so under your charge, but it sure feels like it when all you want to do is take a nap.
But I’ve come to realize that pregnancy is God’s way of preparing you for the tumultuous, unpredictable journey that is parenthood, and I must admit it’s a pretty darn good practice session for the real job ahead.
So here’s to second trimester. Stay tuned.
meltedflowers says
hahahha you hit the nail on the head.. i am sure you remember me, a very cranky and everything hurt pregnant woman.. i remember how kind and understanding you were. made me use a wheelchair even though my pride was like nope no way and yet deep down i was like oh thank you God i could not moved another step. love ya girl you are the best.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
I remember! Lol. Thank you.