You would assume a man over thirty would pretty much be who he’s going to be in life by that age, and you wouldn’t think someone could change so drastically in just five short years. Yet here I am, married to a man who is not the same one I stood on the altar with half a decade ago. I’m not sure I ever could have imagined he’d become like he has.
And now here we are expecting our third child together. I can’t even imagine what the future holds in that regard.
I knew that having kids would change things, but I don’t suppose you can ever truly know what it will be like until you actually go through the fire that is first-time parenthood. I’m still dumbfounded over how our relationship changed after our daughter was born. And then we went and did it again two years later.
So when I woke up this morning I was exhausted. Like bone tired. It wasn’t just the twelve hour shifts at work, although I knew that played a major role. It was the parenting gig too that drained me. Little people needed me when I came home from my job, and the tiny one growing inside me was already starting to sap me dry.
That’s how it was with kids. They took so much out of you that very little was left behind.
When I woke up exhausted I quickly said a prayer for strength for my day, and I hauled my weary body from the bed. My husband wasn’t there as usual. It was one of those changes that had come with the second baby, and it didn’t even surprise me anymore to see his vacant side of the bed when I got up for work.
Indeed I knew where I would find him, and my hunch was confirmed when I walked outside our room. I spotted him straight away slumbering on a pallet on the living room floor with two young ladies sleeping beside him. He used to always sleep curled up beside me, but that had changed.
As I stood in the hot shower spray mentally preparing for my day I thought of the man my husband had become since we wed. He was now the kind of man who took nighttime child care when I had to get up at 5 a.m. The kind of man who slept comfortably on a makeshift bed in the floor while our daughters kicked him in the side.
He had become the kind of man who delighted in his daughters, who took time to laugh with them and play. He had always been pretty amazing before, but something about becoming a father to our girls had blossomed uncharted territory within his man heart. The strong, compassionate partner he had developed into was quite the sight to behold.
He had always been a caring spouse to me, never short with his outpouring of affection, but through the trials of raising children and working I had seen his love for me magnify in the face of sacrifice. He had changed into the kind of partner that I couldn’t fathom doing life without, and I don’t think in my wildest dreams I ever could have imagined how an already strong marriage could be cemented into such a solid relationship via the changes time, parenthood, and the good Lord had brought.
When it was time for me to go I kissed my sweet family goodbye, and before my husband went back to our bed for a bit more sleep he held me in his arms.
“I’ll miss you.” He whispered into my neck.
I hugged him tighter, the father of my children, the husband I loved, the man who continued to change every day becoming more caring and self-sacrificing than the fella I first married.
I didn’t want to let go, and I only eventually parted from our embrace with thoughts of the time we would spend together that night after children slept.
It was true, we had both changed after we married, but one thing that remained true was our commitment of love to one another. It would never be altered by the stresses of childrearing; it would only be deepened and transformed to something greater over time.
Denise says
You’re pregnant? Congratulations! How blessed you are, Brie! I am so very happy for you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much! It’s still a fairly new development. 😉
We’re very excited!!
Denise says
You’re pregnant? Congratulations! How blessed you are, Brie! I am so very happy for you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much!