I’ve discovered over the years that there are things I really love about the field of nursing, and there are also things I could live without. There are moments in a nurse’s day that lift their spirits high, and then there are also ones that are quite the opposite.
I recently found myself caring for an unfortunate case. I started my morning per usual, and after the change of shift report I started my assessment. My patient lay motionless, and try as I might I couldn’t elicit anything meaningful from him to let me know he was in there somewhere. But I did get a sense that he was in pain.
Patients cannot always speak, but when they do not there are still ways we can determine their level of comfort, or the lack thereof, and I saw more than a few signs that my comatose patient was hurting.
I hurried to get him something for pain even as I heard the phone ringing at my desk. I glanced at the caller ID as I left the area, and on my way to retrieve his pain medication I called to my ward clerk, “can you get that call for me. It’s his family. Let them know I’m working with him now, but I’ll call them back.” And I continued on to my primary objective. To alleviate my patient’s pain.
My co-worker quickly obliged my request, and picked up the ringing phone. But before she could identify herself she heard the caller speaking angrily to someone in the background, “those damn, lazy nurses are good for nothing!”
After she had relayed my message to an impatient family member, and had also relayed their words to me, I cared for my patient as planned. You see, how a caller felt about me did not change a thing. Per se.
I still medicated my patient as I felt he needed, and though the words that had been spoken on the phone hurt me, they did not change the way I cared for my patient.
Nurses understand more than you may think. I understood the unfortunate events that surrounded my patient, and I knew that how his hospitalization had turned out was not how it had been planned. I knew his family was in shock and suffering with grief. Heck, I even understood that when a phone rings and rings that your first thought isn’t always I’ll bet they’re just really busy taking the best care of my brother possible, but rather they just don’t wanna talk to me!
Nurses spend the majority of their career not only learning valuable bedside skills, but also learning how to interact with the public. Over the years we become quite adept at reading minds and hearts, and we might know what your response will be before you do. And we understand. Nurses become experts at learning to walk in someone else’s shoes.
And while nurses spend years watching others deal with loss, learning to expect the wide range of emotions and reactions that accompany it, it does not make it any easier when someone’s grief explodes in their face.
Almost daily they work through the anger of another, yet their ability to perform patient care thoroughly and compassionately does not suffer because of it. But even though this type of human interaction is a norm, it doesn’t make it enjoyable or easy.
Your nurse is actually starving for your praise, and though they don’t depend on it, a well-placed “thank you” is worth its weight in gold. We love that!
This same shift, shortly after the angry phone call, another patient’s wife came to my side. Without any extraordinary reason I could think of this woman suddenly spoke to me, “You’re great! All of you have been like angels in our time of need. Thank you!”
I smiled at her words, and thanked her in return. I continued to care for her spouse as I had done before, and though her words were kind, they did not change the way I cared for him. But they did change me. I felt like I stepped a little lighter, and I smiled a little brighter.
As my shift continued I spoke with an angry son, and I listened quietly while he threatened litigation, screaming for medical records and answers as to why his father lay so still. His anger shot out at me, and though I knew it wasn’t personal, and once again I understood, it didn’t change the harshness of his emotional rant.
I also stood proudly later as an elderly man profusely and animatedly exclaimed his gratitude for our care of his severely sick spouse. “Y’all are all so wonderful, and I just can’t thank you enough!”
I smiled at him and returned, “you have no idea how much your words mean.”
Words are only words, and they don’t change how a nurse performs patient care, but they do change how the nurse feels about themselves and their day.
Honestly, most harsh words are forgotten pretty easily because it’s understood they are spoken out of grief or fear, but I worry that it’s possible they can add up unknown in that dark place of a nurse’s mind called “burn-out.”
Conversely I’m of the mindset that a well-placed thank you has the ability to cultivate a nurse’s kindness, and increase an already abundant heart for caring. And while telling your nurse “thank you” doesn’t make them a better nurse, it does make them feel better. I know it does me.
So I guess the important question is, have you thanked your nurse today? After all you never know when your kind words might just be the ones he/she needs to hear the most.
Sherry Evans says
I totally agree with you! An awesome blog we love thank yous more than anything as nurses! And as you put it the negative comments lead to “burnout” but just when you feel up to your eyes in burnout here comes that family that makes you feel so good about yourself and abilities. Those thank yous relight the fire and the burnout disappears. I have enjoyed all your last blogs on nursing! I love being a nurse also it is a calling. I can’t imagine another career! Thanks Brie you are faithful to your readers and even though I haven’t responded in a while I still read all your blogging and always learn from it! Keep it coming you are an inspiration! I don’t even know you but love you !
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much! I’ve thought of you often, honestly, even though I don’t “know” you. Lol. Thanks so much for reading along.
You’re absolutely right. I had a family and patient this weekend who made me feel like gold! It was wonderful and much needed.