My eyes fell again this morning on the package obviously displayed on the kitchen counter. To me it seemed to stick out like a sore thumb, and I remembered what I had felt when I first saw it last night, sitting there forgotten.
I had been perturbed, honestly, and I wondered how it had gotten left behind. The girls had attended a birthday party while I was away at work, and in my absence my spouse had been responsible for getting them to the affair. Yet somehow he had missed taking the birthday girl her package I had painstakingly purchased and prepared.
What am I going to do with my husband?!
I laid out perfect party dresses complete with matching hair bows and shoes, but when I received a picture of my precious toddler my first thought was where is her cute, pink bow?!
So really, what was I to do about my husband?! What was I to do about a man who still left his dirty socks shoved up under my couch, or who thought a pony tale was the go-to hairstyle for little girls on Sunday?
What was I to do about a man who left hairs in the sink after shaving, and forgot to set his alarm to make it to church on time?
Well, I did the only thing I knew to do.
I looked past the forgotten gift bag on the counter, and my eyes found my sleeping man. He was passed out cold on the living room couch, and true to the norm for a Saturday night, he was not alone.
My husband was the kind of man who slept soundly with a baby on his chest, taking night shift, childcare duties when his wife had to work. Heck, he was the kinda guy who took it even when she didn’t.
What was I gonna do about that guy? After all, he was the kind of guy who dressed three daughters in frilly dresses, taking the time to do their hair. Whether a pony tail or misplaced bow, he still took the time.
This was the same man who not only cooked dinner while I worked, but also entertained three little ladies, keeping them safe while also teaching them values along the way. And though that was part of the gig, what was expected of a dad I guess you could say, it didn’t get past me how much he loved it. How good he was at it.
What was I supposed to do with my husband, this man who never stopped showing me how much he cared? The same man who was teaching our daughters, by his own example, what a loving spouse looked like.
As my eyes passed quickly over the forgotten gift bag I knew the truth. I knew that Satan would desire to destroy marriages. He would have men and women to focus on the mistakes, faults, or idiosyncrasies their spouse possessed. But God, the God who favors marriage, He would encourage seeing the positive attributes of your spouse.
It wasn’t a forgotten present. Rather it was a husband taking his daughters to a birthday party.
It wasn’t displaced socks or leftover, stray hairs. I mean, it was. But more importantly it was a man who worked hard to support his family kicking his shoes off after a long day. It was a man taming his beard, desiring to look handsome for his bride.
It wasn’t simply a forgotten alarm clock, but an exhausted daddy who had rocked a baby late into the night.
What was I to do about my husband? Well, I suppose I was to do what God desired for my marriage. I was to see my husband as God saw me. Imperfect, yet cherished. With flaws, but loved nonetheless. And not just any love, but an unconditional love that strove to see the best, that strove to see to the heart of the matter.
Satan would wish for me to focus on inconsequential nuisances, but God would call me to honor my spouse as he honored me with his instinctual sacrifices on a daily basis.
The Devil would show me socks, but God would highlight a caring father cradling a sleeping baby.
And as I beamed with pride while my sweet family slept soundly I knew what I was called to do most with my husband. I was to simply love him.
Elise says
I had a friend who told me one time that she had a widow from her church tell her that she wished she had dirty socks in the living room floor to pick up. Now I think of that am thankful when I pick them up. Which is every day.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
That’s such a wonderful point! Thank you.
Vicky Kepler Didato says
Brie both my husband and I are licensed therapists and also do marriage retreats for churches. I would love to make copies of this for our clients…there is such truth in your words about how our perspective sets us up to either chip away at love or deepen and grow it and draw us closer to each other and to God…thank you…I love your blog…keep sharing…
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much. I would be honored for you to share my post.
kathy says
You hit the mark!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Angeli says
I read this to my husband this morning. I am thankful for this blog that you write. Your honesty and heart come through in every one of them. God has truly blessed you with insight and the ability to put into words the struggles we all seem to face.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks so much! I appreciate your kind, encouraging words. God bless your marriage.
Michael says
Thank you so much for this. It was a sweet reminder from God. I have prayed for a while now for God to show me how I can be a better wife and last night as I stepped over the bag of crushed pretzels at our house (which is a construction sight currently) I realized I could gripe at him for crushing them and leaving them or I could clean them up myself and appreciate how much hard work he has been putting in getting our house ready to move in to. This article was so perfectly timed for me and such a sweet read. Thank you!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much. I am blessed by your comment, and how God touched your heart through my words.