I’ve always been the type of person that likes to complete a task. Many people I know are the opposite. They can have several things going at once and seem completely as ease with this. There’s no apparent anxiety over an unfinished job. They just seem to enjoy the one they’re working on at the moment. This is my husband. And that’s fine. It’s not me though.
I can’t stand not finishing something once I’ve started and will actually find myself stressed about it until it’s done. When I decide I want to do something, I usually want to do it right then. I have no patience for waiting. I just want to dive right in, and once I get going I want to keep going until I’m finished. And by finished I mean that a visible end-product can be displayed for me complete with a pretty little bow.
This also means if I have a problem I want a solution. I don’t want to waggle back and forth over it. I like answers. And like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, I want it to be a final answer. I like a resolution. I like a “the end.” Bye-bye now.
This type of thinking is productive in a sense, but it also makes life pretty hard. There seems to be a lot of problems in life that do not have a specific answer nor an immediate resolution. This vexes me.
For all my vexation, though, a hill of beans is the end result. What I mean is no matter how pretty I may desire my problems to be packaged, in the end God just doesn’t work that way. I’m learning this.
Too often I think that if I have an issue and give it over to God then I should be good to go. Check that surrender box boys and girls. I’ve given it to God. Now He can fix it, and most importantly, I can stop worrying about it. It’s correct in theory, but there’s more to it than that.
I think I’ve assumed that surrender is a one time deal, like once I hand something over then I should be done. Like my thinking on other tasks to be completed I unconsciously assume that my job of surrendering my life to Jesus is something I can complete. I am discovering it is not.
Surrender is not something I can do and be done with it. While I can often immediately see results in my life after giving an issue over to Him, it doesn’t just stop there. There is no end. There is no completion once you decide to surrender.
Here’s an example. Once you decide to get married you plan a wedding, have the service, say your vows, and seal it with a kiss. Bam. You’re married. But what if you didn’t do anything after that? What if you assumed the decision to be wed and commit your life to one person was all there was to it? You’d have a pretty lousy marriage.
The relationship of marriage is a daily give and take situation. Every day that you wake up you have to decide to give towards your marriage, to cultivate it, to keep loving that person, and sacrificing of yourself.
Surrendering your life to Jesus is much the same. If you decide to give your life to God, but then just skip along your merry way, the relationship might suffer. If you give something, a problem or issue to God you often times have to keep on giving. It’s because life is complex. We may often think we have completely surrendered it, but our human hearts want to hold it and fix it. We want to see that resolution, that pretty bow on a problem solved.
This is why surrender is a daily thing. Every day we must give ourselves anew to God. Some issues can’t be solved overnight. Some things you got to let go. And many times you will have to let them go day after day, after day. Sometimes you will have to let it go again. And then again after that.
For a personality like myself that desires to see a finished product this is especially difficult. God is showing me that I can’t always see the end or how it’s going to turn out. And when. I’m learning to trust, and really that’s what surrender is all about. It seems that I’m getting to practice on this daily, and I’m hopeful He’s finally getting through my thick skull. I surrender it today, and I’ll do it tomorrow too. I’ll let it go. Again.
Kay says
Wow. Thank you for that. I needed to hear it today. I believe that God spoke through you 🙂
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much. I pray over some of my posts, and this was one of those. If just one person gets something from it then I am blessed. So thanks for blessing me.
Sherry says
You may not see this cause I’m a little late reading my emails. I totally love this after being a Christian for many many years this is something that I learn over and over. My summer as you know has been filled with turmoil but I have finally learned and hope I won’t forget to turn it over to God. Some days it is a minute by minute thing but I have learned that I am able to let go and let God control it when I turn it over. That’s with everything in my life. The thing is no matter what I do He is in control and by turning it loose to Him in my mind I can relax and see amazing things happen. God is good and in the midst of this turmoil my summer has been beautiful. I am so thankful my sister got me reading your blog it was the catalyst that got me here! Thanks so much Brie never stop writing I read everyone of your entries!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for commenting! I’m so glad we found another. You also encourage me.