I’m a Registered Nurse. It’s not just my job, but has become a part of who I am. What I mean by this is that all my actions, thoughts, and decisions on a daily basis are impacted by my career choice. My interactions with others, and even how I view life is laced with the inherent knowledge and experience years in the medical field has brought to me. I guess you could say nursing blood runs through my veins. It’s a profession that alters your thinking forever.
That all being said, I take my job very seriously. It’s not just something I do for money. It’s important to me. It’s a calling, and it gives me great pleasure to help someone, to make someone better, and even to be there and offer a last bit of comfort on this earth when I cannot make you better.
This fact of how I view my job is sometimes my downfall. The fact that I take it so seriously, that I care so much, makes it really hard sometimes. When the outcome is not what I think it should be I get frustrated, or when I cannot do my job I get downright aggravated.
I hate to say it, but sometimes it’s because of my patient. Sometimes my patient makes my job impossible.
Here’s what I mean.
When you, as a patient, refuse care I cannot help you. Sounds pretty simple, right? It should be, but this easy fix is overlooked and repeated all the time.
Here’s the scenario. You come to the hospital ER or you call 911. You do this because you know you are sick and need help, yet when you arrive you make the decision to refuse the care your team wishes to provide. That’s the thing. We’re a team, but you’ve missed that concept.
I can understand wanting to be in control of your healthcare. I’ve been a patient, but let’s work as a team. Your doctor and I want to help you. We take an oath to not harm you. So anything we have in your plan of care is for your benefit. Even if it’s uncomfortable, we agree it’s for the greater good. Our goal is to make you better so you can go home. Please don’t fight this process.
My addressing of this refusal of care excludes patients who are confused and those with legitimate concerns. I realize that no one knows you more than you. Believe me, I’ll listen. But if you are simply refusing care because you don’t wish to comply then I have a problem with that.
If you refuse having your blood pressure taken because the cuff squeezes too tight then you’re making it hard for me to care for you properly. If you don’t want much needed labs drawn because needles hurt, I may have an issue with that. If you don’t want to take your medicine because you don’t think you need to then I might find it impossible to take care of you.
I will try and prevent your pain, and I will treat it to the best of my ability, but sometimes being sick hurts. Sometimes getting better hurts. But I am not hurting you maliciously.
We don’t run tests and give pills to be mean. You came seeking our help. Let us help you. Refusing our care puts us in a bad place. We can’t take care of you if you won’t let us.
Maybe you even decide to leave, but then you come back. You come back because you’re still sick. Or maybe you come back because you refuse to make the suggested changes to your lifestyle. You are what is called a frequent flyer.
Once again, this is not addressing someone with a chronic condition that makes your repeat hospitalizations a necessity. Not at all. If you are back in the hospital outside of your control then this is not addressed to you.
I’m talking about the deliberant decision to sabotage your own health. If you’ve been instructed by a medical professional to take certain medications, alter your diet, quit smoking, monitor your blood sugar, etc., but then ignore this advice, and subsequently end up hospitalized shortly after discharge for the exact same problem, then you are wrong.
It’s okay. It’s not too late. I understand. It’s hard to quit smoking. I smoked two packs a day for twelve years. It’s really hard, but you can do it.
Addiction is hard to break. Weight is hard to lose. Habits are difficult to let go. We do understand these things, but our job is to encourage you to change what you can for the betterment of your health. We only ask you try. Really try.
But if you refuse to alter your lifestyle for the betterment of your health, or worse, are noncompliant with prescribed medication then you’re making it near impossible for us to help you. That frustrates us greatly. Please stop.
Because the thing is, we really, really want to help you. It’s more than a job to us. It’s a calling. Helping you improve your health is what we do. Help us help you.
stacy says
Ha! I promise this same thing comes out of my mouth at least twice a month, if not more.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Haha. It’s possible that it came out of my mouth today!
Jan Liu says
Amen, sister! So frustrating. Several pediatrician friends of mine refuse to accept patients if the parent is unwilling to have their children vaccinated. If you don’t want to help yourself, why should I?
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
You’re so right.
Denise says
I am an ICU nurse at a small local hospital and I totally agree! Thanks for putting into writing what I have thought for years!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much.
Kathy Nolan says
SOOOO True. I am an ICU nurse also and want to strangle some people who do not want to do what they should, take their meds or even turn to prevent bedsores. I am sometimes very blunt with patients and let them know (nicey) what can happen if they do not participate in helping them selves. If you refuse to get out of bed how are you going to go home??? You will end up going to a nursing home…that is reality. It works sometimes. Lots of lessons for all of us as we progress thru life. Thanks for putting it in print…I will print this out and take it into my unit.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you! Nurses have to be really good at tough love!