I sat at the red light and watched the dark clouds roll in. A storm looked eminent, and at the moment something about the color of the sky seemed to connect with my mood. Normally an upbeat individual, I certainly didn’t feel that way at the time. My mood was like the day. Overcast. The light turned green and I thought, guess we won’t be going to the park after all.
I don’t usually sweat the small stuff. No, that’s a lie. I do. For some strange reason I let the little things bother me. They just don’t usually win out and infect my mood with the hum-drum melancholy that currently resided there. I didn’t have any serious complaints or reason for being blue, so I could only assume it was issues beyond my control that threatened to invade me with a false hopelessness.
I tend to worry about things that require no worry, or find myself anxious over imagined problems. Something as simple as a lack of response from my publisher could send my thoughts into a ridiculous spiral. Or being unable to see the finish line of the race I was running could make me want to drop out.
Earlier that morning I had sat on the steps behind our home watching my sweaty children play. I ate a snack from my outdoor vantage point and surveyed the balmy backyard. I noticed my preschooler’s overturned pink and purple wheel barrel directly in front of me, and I was surprised to see it contained a collection of picked flowers. No, that didn’t surprise me actually, but I was intrigued as to why she had picked the ones that had yet to bloom.
The bottom of the plastic cart was full of buds plucked from the stems before they had been given the opportunity to bloom, to open fully and display their beauty. I will admit my confusion, and I asked my daughter why. “Why did you pick the flowers before they could bloom baby?”
She walked over slowly and began to sift through the collection with a look of confusion on her face. “But these are all dead Momma. That’s why I pulled them off.” She held up a light orange bud for me to see, and I could see what she meant. Prior to the flower opening fully in all its glory, with a burst of brilliant, deep orange, it resembled a shriveled up, pale plant, possibly wilting away into nothing.
I looked over at the flower bed and saw rows of pitiful, pale buds. They looked like they were struggling amongst the rows of loud, colorful blooms. They seemed almost as if they were on the brink of failure, unable to meet the expectations of their lovely counterparts. I could see where she thought they were done for, and why she had decided to end their supposed suffering.
How often do we find ourselves in this same situation where we are the struggling flower trying to bloom? I wondered this to myself as I considered some of my current situations, dreams, desires, and goals. I felt like I was struggling. I felt like I was pale, withering, and looked like I would never bloom into what I had imagined I was meant to be.
But as I looked at the rows of beautiful flowers, each different, but brilliant, I felt hope. What if we are at our darkest before the light? What if perhaps right before we succeed in our destiny it often looks unobtainable? Is it possible that we look and feel our worst right before God is ready to bloom something new in our lives?
It’s an oldie, but a goodie. Some say it’s overused or taken out of context, but I think it’s a symbol of hope. We know God wants good for His children, and His word offers that promise throughout the Bible, but this is one of my favorites.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I think sometimes when we feel like the beauty of our prayers cannot be realized we want to quit. We can’t see where life is going to open up into something lovely like we hoped, and so we don’t want to keep going. We don’t even realize God is preparing us to bloom.
When you feel overcast, closed-up, wilted, and lacking in some way, try to remember the flowers. Remember that they often look the least right before they become more. We too often feel our lowest right before God brings something beautiful, something new. Success, victory, or dreams being realized may not always look like you think. Maybe they’re just waiting to bloom.
Sherry says
We’ll Brie I can tell you that you have bloomed! God used you I’m sure as a vehicle to show me what I was looking for , a renewal of faith! Oh how sweet it has been. My life over the past month has been upside down with fear, anger, and especially lack of faith. One day my sister forwarded me your blog and that very day it hooked me. This was prior to my struggles we had no idea what was getting ready to happen! Through your writing I have renewed my faith and belief in God. He has carried me on many many days that I couldn’t even hardly walk! He brought tunes to my ears that I had thought were forgotten and my friend , I don’t think this was an accident. I think He was using you as the vehicle to bring me back in. My days are still not normal but much closer and I am experiencing some of the most wonderful peace I have ever known! So if God spoke to me in North Carolina with you in Mississippi , I can’t imagine what he has in store for you! I am so excited to read your 1st book and share it with others. I think you have a real unusual gift with words and I thank God all day that he brought you into my life.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
You seriously brought tears to my eyes! This comment is such an encouraging blessing to me. I’m so happy you have renewed your relationship with The Lord, and I’m humbly honored if God used me as a catalyst in any way for this to occur. Thank you my friend! I will be praying for you.
Debbie says
Brie – I just want to add to my sister Sherry’s comment. One day I found a blog that you had written (possibly on FB) referring to nursing. It was a great article so I forwarded to my sis. She became an ardent follower to your blog! Your writing has really spoken to her and I really feel it has been a vehicle for her ability to renew her faith. My prayers have been that she renew her relationship with God and use that strength to get through some very difficult struggles in life. Your beautiful and inspiring words have been an answer to my prayers! Thanks for responding to his call for you!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for commenting. I feel so blessed by you both. God is so good!
Jennifer says
I love your blog!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much!