When I find myself with nothing to do, and I’m just laying around getting a pedicure and eating bonbons, I spend time reflecting on the inherent joys of motherhood. I spend these frequent moments of relaxation pondering the many questions that arise in my parenting journey.
Some scholars will question the existence of God, or many a great thinker may wonder, “what’s the meaning of life?” I’ve already tackled those subjects, but here’s a few others that vex me. As I find myself sunning outside with a great novel I often enter into deep thought and contemplation. I ask myself these questions.
- Where do sippee cups go? I’ve bought about 176 different cups. I currently have three in the cabinet, and they all leak.
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I really want your opinion. What’s harder to get up off the kitchen floor, ramen noodles or scrambled eggs? I’m thinking the noodles.
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Why are children drawn to Dora? What is this magic mojo she possesses?
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Why do babies find shoes so offensive?
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Would children be more prone to nap now if they knew they would desire one like crazy later in life?
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Why are kids starving until you fix them something?
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Why are the best toys always the ones someone else is already playing with?
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Why are small children drawn to things that will kill them? Heights, sharp objects, electrical outlets, deep bodies of water. Why?
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What is it about being naked? My kids never want to wear clothes. My apologies again to the neighbor.
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Why does a freshly made bed = jump on bed?
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How can the same kid eat half a slice of cheese all day one day and eat a house the next day?
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Why are my Chapstick, keys, and/or cell phone more interesting than a top-rated and pricey toy?
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Why does my child spend 23 hours in a diaper, but choses the 20 minutes in the tub to poop?
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Why does white attract dirty hands? For that matter, why does black attract spit-up and boogers?
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Why are apple slices a favorite snack on Tuesday, but gag-worthy on Wednesday?
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What is so interesting about me using the bathroom?
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Why do all children hate bath time until I want to take a bath? Then it’s everyone’s favorite pastime.
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How can a food be abhorred until it rests on my plate? Then it becomes irresistible.
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Why do babies sleep when you’re wide awake, yet wake-up when you’re ready to sleep?
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Where do baby socks spirit off to?
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Why do my children ignore me when I’m not doing anything, but cry to be held the moment I start something?
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How come my toddler can’t seem to see the toy right in front of her face that I’m pointing at for her to pick up, but can somehow zero in on my earrings I just laid on the end table within seconds?
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Why can’t my preschooler hear me call her to come inside or clean up her room, but catches ever single comment I whisper to her father?
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Why do kids not hear the word “no,” but always hear the word “maybe,” and somehow translate it to mean “yes?”
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What is it about going out the door that makes kids stain their clothes, lose their shoes, and suddenly have to poop?
Perhaps as I find myself without interruption or housework to complete this evening I can further consider the answer to these and other fascinating questions that arise while raising tiny humans.
Amy says
My kids are now 15,13, 10 and 8, but I remember these days well. Sippy cups leave the house with all the baby socks that fly the coop. Raw eggs are the worst to get off the floor, bar none, but a dried Cheerios trail, half soggy at one time from a toddler mouth are near impossible to remove from both floor and car upholstery.
One you didn’t touch on: how is it that a three year old lacks the fine dexterity to manipulate scissors to cut construction paper, yet can give his 18 month sister a perfect Joe Dirt mullet? (In his defense, he was proud of his handiwork and announced, “Look! I made Ella pretty!)
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Hahaha! Thanks for the comment. We haven’t fallen prey to the scissor fiasco yet, but I can see it coming, especially with my last little tornado.
Rachel Huwe says
Hahaha!! So relatable.
New questions–A.)Why do they want picked up and held when you can’t hold them, but when you offer they go running as if your playing chase instead?
B.)Why do they always have to have Mama instead of Daddy when they need or want something?
C.)How come the floor and pet bowls have better tasting food than what’s on anyone’s plate or tray excepts Mom’s?
D.)How come when sleeping with Dad you don’t wallow all over his face and kick him all over, but when sleeping with Mom, she gets feet in the face, kicked in the ribcage, and left no where to sleep?
Anywho. Just thought I’d share some of my questions?
We don’t watch Dora, we watch Curious George, over, & over, & over, & over, & over…, well you catch the drift. Which brings me to another deep question– Why do they want to always watch the same show/movie every time they sit in front of the TV? Do they not know there are loads of other things to watch besides that one thing?
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Hahaha! Thanks for sharing. Oh my gosh, they get tired of their toys and say “I’m so bored,” yet never get bored with the same Disney movie (Currently Frozen) on a repeat loop!