So be forewarned. You may not like this post. It doesn’t contain personal tragedy, illness, or any content that is depressing or will make you cry. Looking at my Facebook feed, it seems like bad news and negativity are the most popular type of news to spread. This post is not that. It’s the opposite. This post is about striving to give life. It’s about trying to be more positive and encouraging. It’s about learning to be a fountain, not a drain. So if you’re not wanting to read something uplifting then stop here. If you feel like putting on a smile, then keep going.
I have a friend who is probably one of the most negative people I know. I love her, but sometimes I just don’t want to be around her. Do you know the kind of person I mean? It’s the kind of friend you may think about hiding their statuses from your newsfeed because their complaining gets to be too much.
My friend has had some stuff happen in her past, not good stuff, that has impacted her negatively, and I suppose it impacts her still. She’s got great kids, like awesome kids, a good job. She’s got her health. I guess sometimes I have a hard time understanding why or how she can persist in her negativity.
I understand we all have a past that tries to bind us, or maybe a present that insists on weighing us down, and maybe even a future that shows no glimmer of hope. I understand, I really do. But when is enough, enough? When can you say that you’ve allowed your outlook to become strictly negative, and you are therefore unable to see the bright side of anything? Is it not exhausting being so unhappy all the time?!
The thing is, I think she could change her outlook. You can’t always change your circumstances or your past, but you can change how you view your life as it moves forward. It can go forward, and it can be good. Perspective isn’t everything, but it’s a lot. If you find yourself facing life with dread, then here’s a few things you might try to change your perspective. You might just find happiness as a side effect.
1. Be positive. So I started with the most obvious. It’s also the hardest. This is because you have to work at it, but the cool thing is that as you do, it becomes second nature.
At work when people ask how I’m doing I always answer “above average.” I could be exhausted, having a day from hell, and most likely rather be home, but I’ll still answer above average. And the thing is, I mean it. I know I could always be more tired, or I could have even sicker patients, or I could have a worse job, or even no job at all.
It’s like finding a needle in a haystack sometimes, but I believe you can find a sliver of positivity in all, I repeat, all instances. But you have to look. If you’re determined that life is going to suck, then it probably will. You have to work at it sometimes, but it gets easier. I promise.
2. Count your blessings. You can start the road to finding your happy place by starting here. I don’t always like my tiny house, but it’s mine, it’s comfortable, and it’s filled with love. You can always find someone who may be traveling a harder road than yourself. We often look around at what those around us have in excess to our own, but we miss where they lack.
In our westernized society we’ve become accustomed to a certain way of life. We get pissed when our internet is too slow, we have car trouble, can’t afford an in-ground pool, or our kids get bored. Do I really need to point out how ridiculous this is?
3. Be hopeful. Hope is a wondrous thing. It’s why kids are always so upbeat and optimistic. They usually have something they’re looking forward to, whether it’s a birthday, Christmas, growing tall enough to ride the big roller coaster, or old enough to drive a car. They know that something good is coming their way, and they can’t help but be excited.
We all have to reach down inside for our child-like anticipation for the future. I can see where someone who doesn’t have a life built on faith might have issue with this. It’s hard to have joy for the future without a foundation built on an eternity with Christ.
I serve a God who has my best interests at heart. I serve a God who wants good things for me, plans to prosper me, and not harm me. Sometimes I mess that up, or the world throws in a wrench, but it doesn’t change who He is. He is always good, and always desires good for me. That knowledge is always and forever a reason to have hope for the future. No matter how bleak the outlook, I can always trust in my salvation and the joy of that day. Until then, I might as well enjoy the life He has for me here.
4. Surround yourself with positivity. Have you ever worked with a complainer? If you sit there long enough listening to them rant about how bad everything is, before long you’re like, “Yeah, this job sucks! They treat us like crap!” You end up miserable the rest of the day, contemplating where you might seek another employment opportunity. You usually don’t find out until it’s too late that the grass is definitely not greener on the other side.
Like they say, it only takes one bad apple to ruin the barrel. A bad mood is like a virus. It’s contagious. A negative outlook, full of complaint and malice is like a vacuum. It sucks the contentment out of a situation. It drains all joy from a person. And if you’re the complainer in life then you are effectively draining the lives of those around you. You’re a leech to their God-given, inherent joy. Is that really what you desire to be?
Or, are you allowing yourself to remain around people like this? Are you subjecting yourself to the life-draining, poor attitude of another person. Don’t let them have that power over you. Separate yourself before it’s too late.
5. Encourage others. So if you’ve decided you don’t want to be a drain then you’re going to need to be a fountain. You can achieve this life-giving persona by encouraging those around you. Speak life. Speak encouragement. Speak love. You would be amazed how much power your positive words can have on another person. You may never see the outcome of your encouragement on this side of eternity, but trust me, the angels rejoice over every kind word you speak. Your Heavenly Father smiles when you further His kingdom in this way. An added benefit is that it makes you feel good to make someone else feel good, you know?
I’m going to tell you, this won’t always be easy. Some days are down days. A lot of days may be down days. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
You might have personal issues and struggles that make a positive outlook near impossible. Beat those odds. You won’t regret it.
You may have days where you just want to be mad, or sad, or plain pessimistic. That’s fine. Keep going. Make a point to try again for a good attitude the next day. Practice makes perfect. Strive for an above average day. Work to encourage someone who’s having a worse day than yourself. Be happy, and let that happiness flow out from you. Be a fountain.
Angel says
Love it!! Thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to post this uplifting article. Muah! ?❤️
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Chris says
I love the quote, “Be a fountain, not a drain.” It means to create more and consume less. But seemingly at odds with this notion is the saying that goes, “You have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk.” The latter quote implies that being a conversational drain denotes good manners. Explain.