I remember as a kid in elementary school one of my favorite little fundraisers was the candy jar guessing game. You would pay 50 cents and take a guess as to how many pieces of candy the jar contained. I can’t recall any of the times what the money was being raised for. What I can recall is that I always really wanted to win that candy, but I never even got close to doing so.
I remember really studying the jar too. I would try to count the little candies I could visualize and then try some crazy mathematics to come up with a number. There was always way more candy in there than I guessed.
The thing is that even the winner didn’t usually get it right. They were just the closest. If by some rare chance someone did guess the exact amount it was just by dumb luck. It was near impossible to guess the right number and win the candy. That didn’t stop me from trying though. I paid my 50 cents each time, and always held out hope that I’d win.
Today as I raked up broken fragments of animal crackers from the living room rug I was confronted with the seemingly futile nature of getting anything accomplished with my loving children in the home with me. At ages three and one they required about 150% of my attention which left it lacking in other areas.
If you have made the decision to work from home while also mothering small children then you’ve set yourself up for a challenging endeavor to say the least. No, I won’t sugar-coat it like that. I’m not talking to the preschooler after all. We’re adults, so I’ll just say it.
You can’t do it. I’m sorry. You cannot work from home. You can try, and I’m certainly persevering right there along with you, but we need to be a little realistic so we don’t go cuckoo for cocoa pops and start talking to the drapes.
It’s like that dang jar of coveted candy. You will never figure out how many freaking gum balls are in there no matter what theory you employ. I’m not saying you need to stop dropping 50 cents and buying chances, but be prepared when you see the lunch lady proudly carry your prized jar home that it was bound to happen.
I did well to remind myself of this as I spent my time on hold waiting to speak with my web site hosting provider while picking up an entire Sam’s Club size container of crushed animal crackers from the living room rug. The children had made the decision to dump the container here and then dance on it like Lucille and Ethel while I tried to make a work-related phone call.
The three year old sat in time-out while the on-hold music played through my phone’s speaker. The baby helped by crushing the cookies into dust before I gathered them. I was able to note I had been on hold for 15 minutes as I tried to decide whether to employ the vacuum or just wait. The baby chose this moment to make that decision for me by disconnecting the call just as I gathered up the last cracker appendage.
Whether working from home for a personal business, or perhaps attempting to transform a dream hobby into a profitable endeavor, or even attempting to maintain a household with some semblance of order; you will fall short. Miserably. Even if you gain a little ground be assured that your young children will keep your priorities focused by redirecting your energies to their many needs.
If you don’t believe me just try. Immobile children who are completely focused on a toy or television program will quickly change direction when you do. If you sit with them essentially doing nothing, they are angelic. Leave the room to perform a task for your own benefit and they become like the old movie The Bad Seed.
“Sweetie, are you okay for Mommy to go get on the computer for a second?”
Eyelashes bat angelically, and an adorable smile forms the words, “Yes, Mommy.”
Do not walk away. I’m warning you. They have been waiting all day for this moment of your distraction so they can get into something. And then they’ll break it.
You will get fragments of work completed while they nap or sleep at night. You may fit in small tasks or moments of personal gain in between your primary jobs of feeding, teaching, and entertaining little people. When you finish these things they will repeat. That’s right. Finish isn’t really applicable here. You never finish, it just changes from one task to another that all work together to keep them alive and hopefully out of the emergency room.
“Mommy. There you are. I thought I had lost you for a minute.”
This might be what you hear if you do attempt to sneak into another room to use the phone, write down a thought, or attempt any personal objective that is not solely beneficial to your child in their opinion. You might respond with, “I thought I would do _____ (insert your attempted work/ task) for a minute.”
They will likely respond at this moment in a sweet voice, that doesn’t quite match the mischievous look, “the baby is cleaning the toilet with your toothbrush.”
You will be completely aware that the baby cannot reach your toothbrush, but you’ll never prove the preschooler gave it to her. Don’t even waste your time.
You will need to go save said toddler from eventual electrocution since you know she will next try to insert the wet toothbrush into an electrical outlet. Those childproof thingies never did work after all. They just draw their attention to why the outlet is covered.
You can try to clean up the kitchen while watching your little energizer bunnies from the window, but be prepared this will only lead to further mess.
I guess at this moment you just have to decide if the chaos that ensues from whatever entertaining activity you come up with is worth the precious 10 minutes of time it will allow you to shower, fold clothes, or whatever. You’ll probably do it even though it’s a practice in making yourself even crazier. Pinterest is packed with ideas for these kind of fun, attention gaining activities for your kids that will leave you with a ginormous mess to clean up. In case you’re interested. You probably will be. You’re desperate and will try whatever they peddle.
Quests to entertain kids are like meals. You have to do it anyway. So even though you’re still cleaning up the aftermath of the last one, you’ll do it again.
Basically you will be working your butt off. It just may not always be focused on what you intend. You can work at home, but not on anything of your choosing.
You’ll find that your work distractions (the kids), become your inspirations. Unexpected pleasure amidst the frustration. The insane antics actually lift your spirits and make not getting anything accomplished incredibly rewarding. It’s almost as if you feel like you won the candy jar even though you got no where close to the correct number of candies within.
Even on the days when you don’t feel like you’ve won, you’ll keep playing. You can’t work from home, but somehow you do. And you can’t imagine getting it done any other way. After all, where else can you work wearing stained yoga pants?
amy says
HAHAHHAHHAHA I see you have been watching the fiasco at my house, huh? lol