Dear Friend,
First off let me say thank you for even opening this up. I’m sure the title threw you immediately into a defensive mode. Perhaps you’re even a little mad at me right now. Seeing the word promiscuous, and thinking of others such as loose, fast, wanton woman. Or what about harlot, slut, or even whore? I know all the names. Thing is, I’m not calling you by one of them. Promise. I know them all though and have even heard them directed at myself. So I know how that feels. You see, you and I are one and the same.
Maybe you’re saying right now, “I don’t care! I don’t care what people call me!” And for that I’m proud of you. I even agree. You see it doesn’t matter so much if another woman calls you a whore, not in the grand scheme of things. At one point I hope that will matter to you. At some point I hope you will care what other people think of you, but only because I hope one day you will build a reputation for yourself that is deserving of walking a higher moral ground. But we can discuss that later. Right now what’s more important is what you think. Deep down, at night when you’re all alone in your thoughts, do you think of yourself in one of the above demeaning titles? When you’re falling asleep not just because you’re tired physically but because you’re tired period, tired of everything, tired of feeling nothing; at these lucid, alone moments do you call yourself a whore?
When I said we were the same I meant it. You may not see that. You may look at me now and not see much, if anything, that we have in common anymore other than our long standing friendship and unconditional love for each other. I’m still like you. I’ve just had a bit of an emotional facelift.
I’m glad that our love for each other is so unconditional. I’m glad that you feel like you can speak candidly with me. I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t. But I would be lying if I said I’d didn’t shudder sometimes when we talk. The moments when you describe your numerous, meaningless sexual encounters with me make me want to cry.
It’s not that I’m ashamed of your behavior so much as I weep for you, for your pain, for your lack in self-esteem, for your lack in knowledge of who you are and how special your body is. I have been there.
I’ve been there my friend so you will never find judgement in my eyes or in my heart. I am not so far removed from my past that I have forgotten. They say you shouldn’t live in regret, that you should take every situation and learn from it. I suppose that’s true in a way. I’ve certainly learned a lot! But given the choice, if I could turn back time, there is so much I would change. I do have regret. I don’t want that for you.
Retrospect is amazing. Hindsight is even better. Understanding the truth of how precious a woman’s virtue truly is trumps it all.
There’s a few things I was never aware of before that I know now and want to share.
First off, I was unaware of how connected you become with someone you share sexual intimacy with. There’s no such thing as a one night stand. Even if you never see him again you will never forget him. You will unknowingly be bound to him and you’ll carry the baggage of shame with you for years to come, whether you realize it or not. No one benefits from this.
Secondly, no man can ever make you feel better about yourself! I repeat, no man can make you feel better about you. All the compliments and what-not mean nothing if you don’t love yourself. All the men fighting for your affections are pointless if you’re not fighting for you. When you lay your body out for any and all men to have freely you do not love yourself, and you are not fighting for you. Not really. You are admitting defeat to all the past pain, rejection, or other ridicule that makes you think you must receive physical affection from someone to be something.
These physical affections and desires will immediately give you gratification, but it will be fleeting. It will not be sustained, thus the need to continue this cycle to make yourself feel beautiful, wanted, and special to someone.
In the end it leaves you empty. You may not want to even admit it right now, but you know I speak the truth. Deep down you know this to be so.
Maybe, like I once thought, you think it’s too late. You have lost it, your virtue, so what’s the point? You think you’ve gone so far that there’s no turning back. You would be wrong. This is the biggest lie the devil tells to daughters of the King who have lost their way.
Remember that old Bible story of the prodigal son? Thing is, it’s not just for sons. It’s for daughters too. And while I may speak of regret for my past actions, I am not ruled by it. I am not smothered by my shame. I am free from it! I am redeemed, and it is the only reason I can speak to you of it now. I can speak of my past because it matters no longer. I have been made new. And this rebirth can be for you too.
Maybe you were never told how special you are. Maybe you were never made aware that your body is a temple, that it’s a prize, that it should be cherished and treated with care, not given away so easily as if it meant nothing. Maybe you were never told this, and that’s ok. It’s sad, but it’s okay because I’m telling you now.
You are special. You are precious. You have value. You can be healed of past pain and past hurts. You can be forgiven. You can start over. You can be new. Because to Him, you are priceless, and there is none other like you. It’s high time to start living up to your description as it reads in God’s word.
He has a special man just for you. Begin to pray for this man. Pray for him because he’s being prepared just for you. But don’t forget to prepare yourself as well. Become the wife now that he deserves. There’s no time like the present to begin setting yourself apart.
Most importantly I want you to know that you’re not promiscuous. You’re not fast, loose, or even a whore. Not to God. You are precious in His sight. The second you can believe that, truly believe that in your heart, you will want nothing less but to live in line with His description of your character.
He loves you, really loves you. And so do I. When all else fails, remember that.
Love Always,
Your Forgiven Friend