Today is day two of my fast. If you happened to miss my late post yesterday I would encourage you to refer back to it for the definition of a fast and the specific reasons why I am personally fasting. You can find part one of the the fasting series by clicking the link here.
Last night my child found a discarded pink balloon at the church. Naturally it was destined to be hers and she ended up bringing it home since no one objected. As I buckled her in the car seat I noticed her chewing on the rubber end of the balloon where it was tied. I half-heartedly encouraged her not to chew on it lest it meet its early death by deflation. She threw caution to the wind and within a minute or two resumed her chewing of the balloon. That didn’t surprise me, but I was surprised when I didn’t hear it pop behind me.
I had forgotten all about the pink balloon until this morning when she brought it grievingly to the living room. In a sad voice, as she held the wasted shell of latex out to me, she stated, “It lost all its air Mom!”
I explained to her that it must have a hole in it, to which she replied, “But I don’t see one.”
Some times the hole is so small you don’t even realize it’s there.
Today I awoke tired and with a grumbly, crampy tummy. The last time I fasted I don’t recall having to prepare meals for people all day, so that was a challenge. Something about the way the real butter looked melted on that hot toast, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
We finished up some last minute gift shopping for my husband, and it was challenging too. Trying to pick out something for the one you love with two small children along is bad enough, but it seemed even worse combined with my fatigue, short temperament, and raging headache (brought on from Diet Coke withdrawal no doubt). The realization after buckling everyone up that a baby boot had not made it back to the van on its owner’s little foot, or even in a bag, but rather had been left somewhere in the store was almost cause for a sobbing fit.
I don’t say these things to grumble or attract pity, but rather to celebrate how The Lord can miraculously infuse His Spirit into those who ask.
Every time I felt tired, weak, hungry, frustrated, or ready to give up, I repeated a verse God gave me this morning.
Nehemiah 8:10b
And do not be grieved, for the joy of The Lord is your strength.
I repeated it like a mantra, the joy of The Lord is my strength!
I dug into the scriptures today and He spoke to me with each and every one, speaking His provision to me, speaking His ability to be my refuge, my shield, my protector, my comfort, my every single thing.
There’s a lot of bad things in this world, a lot of bad things that happen to us, and a lot of negativity saying that’s just the way it is. So deal with it. Life sucks, but one day we’ll be in Heaven and it’ll be okay. Well, I agree with the Heaven being awesome part, but I think we often give up on the now. I think we surrender to the idea that this life is full of sin and strife, a broken world, and we’ll never be completely happy.
I think that when you look at scriptures it describes this beautiful character of our God, one that He is willing to share with His children.
I think God wants us to be happy.
I think He wants us to have joy, to love life, and to live it abundantly. Too often our life is like my daughter’s balloon. Somewhere along the way doubt, depression, weakness in the face of adversity, disappointment, and so much more cause a tiny hole in our spiritual life. While we are unaware the air within us slowly escapes and we are left deflated, feeling utterly useless and without purpose.
I think it doesn’t have to be this way. We can find joy in life. We can find peace, purpose, and strength along the way.
If you have to find a scripture and commit it to memory, repeating it several times throughout the day, then do it. Let Him fill you to capacity and learn to enjoy this beautiful life He has given us, not just spend each day getting by. Our final destination is of utmost importance, but our preparation for eternity starts now. Make it positive, joy-filled, and overflowing to those around you.
That is all 🙂
Chasity says
I wish I could say something profound, but it’s not in me today. I support you in your fast, and thought of you today, even lifted you up in prayer. Love you!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so very much for the prayer. I’ll take it. Love you too.
Ruthie Young says
enjoying your fast!!! sorry bout the boot! Hang in there! you are on your way! day three is tough, but day two is roughest! then it’s down hill! love you
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you so much for the encouragement.
And I’m pretty thrifty; I went back for the boot! Haha.