- There is a song by a band Switchfoot called “This is Your Life.” If you’ve never heard it, give it a listen. I could try and break down the whole song like I’m back in lit class trying to decipher Shakespeare, but instead I’ll take it easy.
“Don’t close your eyes. Don’t close your eyes. This is your life, are you who you want to be?”
I’ve found myself reflecting on my past a lot recently. I’ve been writing at night, and the topic at hand is dredging up many memories, some that I would rather not reflect on for a long period of time. I think of then, and I think of now. - My life now is a comedy at times. If I’m the leading lady, then my supporting actress is a two year old. She has become very talented at arguing her point. I’m certain she will be a lawyer. I feel like I’m in a scene from A Few Good Men. There is a reason for everything. Her new favorite word is “but”, and her explanation for her behavior is completely justifiable in her mind’s eye. Perhaps Mommy just can’t handle the truth. If I’m not in a John Grisham movie, I’ve fallen onto the set of Home Alone. I get stepped on (“cause that’s what feet do Mom”) and pooped on. I got spit up in my hair and boogers in my coffee. I feel like I’m dressed up if I’m in blue jeans instead of stretchy pants, and I feel sexy when I opt for the black, polka-dot nursing bra, instead of the white, cotton one. I sweep the floor so dirt can be tracked onto it. I put toys away so they can be dragged back out. I wash dishes and laundry so they can get dirty all over. I clean my child’s room. That’s probably the dumbest and most pointless thing I did today. I cracked my scull on the oak bunk bed twice. No, I didn’t learn the first time. But, I also live in a Nicholas Sparks movie. I married my true love after 10 years of being apart. He picks me up and spins me around. I even kick up the one foot. Our kisses are from the most romantic scene, in my eyes. I can hear a great soundtrack playing in the background as I get a hug from Chloe for no reason and she says “I wub you.” All the missed sleep is forgotten when my baby smiles at me.
- If I had to tell you what I think that song means, it would be pretty simple. Don’t close your eyes. Yes. Time does speed by. We all know that. If you don’t then you’re one of my teenager readers. Are you who you wanna be? That’s a loaded question. I think everyone wants a little more for their life. That’s ok to have dreams. I’m certainly reaching for mine. There’s a lyric that says “today is all you got now”. I have to remind myself not to dwell on the past. God forgave me, so it’s alright to forgive myself. That is easier said than done though, isn’t it. But, if you can move past your sinful nature and grasp a hold of what God has for you, then I think you’ll open your eyes one morning and realize that you are indeed who you want to be. I am. I love the movie collection that is my life. I love the funny moments, the slap stick accidents, the romance, and the heart-warming family moments. With the director of my life writing the script, I can even manage the scenes that make you cry tears of sadness. This is my life. I’m still working on it, but I’m finally becoming who I want to be.
That is all 🙂