- Am I the only person who watches commercials on TV and cries at them? Today I saw a new one. It showed a Mom brushing her son’s red hair out of his face. Every camera shot showed him older, starting as an infant, and progressing through college. In each shot, the Mom was pushing the hair off his face. I didn’t bawl, but it sufficiently caused me to tear up to the point that a few overflowed. I’ve always been emotional, crying at movies with my Mom when I was younger. It’s really gone into overdrive since I had children. Everything seems so much more vibrant. My little brother and his wife are expecting. I tried today to explain it to him a little, to just give him a glimpse of what he could expect. I don’t think you can do that though. I could take out a pen and paper, a thesaurus, and work all day to try and articulate my thoughts into words, but I don’t think it would suffice.
- I can’t explain to him how having a child can cause your personality to change. It doesn’t just change in big ways. It’s all the tiny changes in you that add up and make the big picture. I remember seeing Ben with his daughter when we were dating. One night we only had a small frozen pizza to share. His daughter had something of her own for dinner, but of course when she saw our pizza, she wanted some. Ben split his portion with her. I remember not really understanding that, and thinking, “No way. I’d make her eat her own dinner.” I told my bro today, “You’ll give your kid the last bite of your favorite meal.” It’s not a big thing, but it shows a piece of the big picture of how you love them. Your ability and capacity to love is changed, stretched, and strengthened beyond any expectation. Things that would normally get on your nerves, become common place. Chloe has started to ask why. She’s been asking why for a while, but recently it’s escalated to asking why continuously throughout the conversation. It’s like a staring contest. She will ask why after each explanation to the point that I eventually run out of answers and end it with “because Mommy said so.” Thankfully I can always win with that one, for now anyway. The point being; it doesn’t really bother me half as much as it would have my former self.
- I tried to explain how having children does something very mystic to the fabric of time. It no longer moves at a logical pace. Instead it zooms by at a break-neck speed. I tried to explain that children grew faster, that your hair grayed quicker, and that even the sun seemed to be a part of the conspiracy, setting just mere hours after it had risen. My baby is trying to crawl. How can it be? Chloe is a little girl now, not a toddler. If he listens like I did when people tried to tell me, then he will end up being surprised at his child’s 1st Birthday, wondering how a newborn is able to get a messy face eating cake. I’m glad I’m here as much as I’m able, painting Chloe’s toenails and seeing Bailey reach for a toy. I’m grateful that God brought me to this place and time in my life. I love each little change in me that He brings with it. Brother, you are entering a transformational time. Enjoy.
That is all 🙂