- I woke up drenched in sweat. That’s always lovely. It looked like I’d been doing cardio in my sleep, but no, it was just the heat from my skin. It was blazing hot and resembled the color of a tomato. I used to never get a sunburn, but I suppose that’s just another joy of hormonal changes and how they turn your entire life upside down. Yesterday when we were outside at the festival, I did as any mother would. I brought 50 SPF sunscreen for my kiddos since it was their first time out in the sun this season. Not that it ever had a chance to hit them with the canopies and shade I kept them under. So naturally, my children are pale as ever, and I’m roasted. I can’t help but be amused at that. I can finally relate to how my Mom put us above herself. My amusement at the situation does nothing, though, for the nagging pain on my shoulders and chest.
- It’s a wonder to me that I get to work some mornings. Being off 5 days in a row is just enough to knock me out of the routine of it all. My routine that feels comfortable now is mothering. As I ran out the door this morning, I started grabbing my purse and nurse’s bag. I also grabbed the diaper bag and almost took it with me. It’s so accustomed to being on my shoulder that I have a permanent indention to keep it in place. As I drove to the hospital, I turned down the street that went to Ben’s work. We always go visit him before running errands or going to the park. I suppose that’s where my internal GPS wanted to take me instead of straight ahead to the hospital. Once I’m on my unit, I fall into the swing of things. It’s just the task of getting there and separating myself from my kids that’s the problem.
- I think anytime you’ve personally experienced sickness and/or loss in your family, it’s difficult to not be reminded of that when you work as a nurse. You will see so many situations that bring back the memories of your own strife. Frequently I think of my Mom when I encounter some of my patients. For those not close to me, my Mom became a very sick lady. She was in a horrific car wreck and suffered traumatic brain injury. In the years following her injury, we saw Mom go through many stages of illness, where she couldn’t care for herself, all the way to being like her old self, and back again. Eventually, her illness was more than her body could handle on this earth. Today I saw a family gripped by grief and worry for their parent. They were extremely attentive and required a lot of my support. I only hope that they could see my empathy, as I felt their pain, and understood their sorrow. If only we could always view things from someone’s perspective, imagining walking in their shoes. I pray I can always look through their eyes and see their view, though painful it may be.
That is all 🙂