Whenever a life is lost, especially by a famous celebrity due to depression, people take notice. When a person takes their own life, out of nowhere, folks are startled. Everyone seems to have an opinion, and sadly sometimes these statements might not be as thought through or as sensitive as one may hope. This is especially true if your life has never been personally affected by depression.
Many times when you see a life lost to suicide you may think, but they always seemed so happy, and such is the case with recent funny man Robin Williams, as far as those of us who saw him from a distance, and the many characters he played are concerned.
The truth of the matter is that some of the world’s saddest people will always greet you with a smile. People who suffer from the torment of clinical depression can be some of the wittiest, outgoing, and truly comical personalities you will ever encounter, and you may only be privy to their tears if you’re exceptionally close. But even then you may never really see how sad they can be at their darkest hour.
I’ll never try and say I fully understand. While I’ve had a personal taste of depression, and more often than I like to admit I’ve felt it try to drag me down into despair, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the cruel nature of the disease at its worst.
I have seen its incredibly strong hold over someone I love, and my life has sadly been affected by suicide and how it tries to steal those you love the most.
Depression and the subsequent decision of a person to take their own life is not a trivial matter. It’s not a flippant choice that one makes, nor always born of a desire to seek attention. It’s a sickness, and once a person is caught in its grasp, it’s near impossible to escape.
Depression likes to tell its victims lies. Bold lies that are so deceptive they sound like the truth. My mother told me once, after a third failed attempt, that the voice inside her head convinced her that her family would be better off without her. She truly felt that by taking her own life we would benefit in her absence, that we would move on and find a mother much better than the one she thought she could be.
Depression can have seasons, and while it’s never completely dormant it can diminish long enough for a person to enjoy life. You’ll see them laugh, smile, get married, have babies, and be the life of the party. When the overwhelming sadness returns with a vengeance, everyone around may be taken unaware, and truly be in shock that someone so happy could also be so sad.
Even though I have experienced someone close to me so strongly affected by depression and suicidal ideation, even then I do not feel like I can truly understand just how debilitating it can be. I try, but I realize I still can never fully empathize.
What I do know is that my mother was one of the happiest women I ever knew. She loved her children more than the air she breathed, and she truly enjoyed them. She loved being a wife and being a nurse. She could appreciate simple pleasures, and nothing was more beautiful to her than a sunset over the ocean.
On the other hand she was also the saddest woman I ever encountered. When depression overcame her she seemed to lose all hope, and when that is taken from you there isn’t an out you can see. Except the final out. To a mind consumed by depression that seems to be the only answer, and until you have been in those particular shoes I don’t think you can understand.
Despite the strength of my faith, and the abounding hope I have in Jesus, I will never be so bold to say that depression can be conquered through a strong relationship with Jesus. While that statement makes perfect sense to my mind, I also realize my mind is not tormented by a spirit of depression, therefore I can’t really speak on the issue.
All I ask of anyone is that they try not to assume they know the answer to another person’s depression. You can offer support, you can offer prayer, and you can offer hope, but don’t think you can fix it.
Try not to assume that every person who smiles extra big is always happy. You’d be surprised how many clowns are hiding their tears. Depression is real, suicide is real, and the power they can have over a person is more than you can ever really understand.