I’ve recently found myself in a discouraging position, one where I felt opposition despite my prayerful consideration. During this time I’ve experienced the calming voice of The Lord pouring His peace upon me. But being the hard-headed human I am I’ve still felt disappointment at the situation. Again He’s poured out His grace on an undeserving soul like myself by covering me with words of blessing delivered by the mouths of His people.
Sometimes it just seems hard to accept encouragement in the face of opposition. I’m always quick to offer uplifting words to others. It’s something I enjoy. I realized perhaps I should take my own advice and decided to speak to myself in this post.
Dear Self,
As you stood before the mirror today meticulously, and somewhat compulsively flossing your teeth, I was reminded of an old Saturday Night Live skit. It featured a character named Stuart Smalley. Remember him? He was famous for saying things like, “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.” It was called Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley. I figured you might be in need of a little self-affirmation. Perhaps we both are.
It sounded good I suppose, and since you weren’t (Okay, I’ll admit fault. Neither was I.) listening to anything the multitude of God’s people were saying to you, then I thought some affirmation was warranted. After all you weren’t hearing the love and encouragement from our spouse. I mean you were listening, but were you really listening? You know? Like listening deep in your heart where it matters? Or were you doing that type of listening you personally hate where you nod appropriately, but allow the words to fall useless to the ground before they have a chance to sink in? I gotcha there didn’t I? Yeah, that’s the inherent discernment of me being you.
Anyway, while I noticed you weren’t accepting fully the words of encouragement, I did notice how you drew in the opposite stuff. Now remember, those discouraging comments were also from God’s people; don’t think any different of those who oppose you. In all fairness, they are usually unaware of how they’re hurting you, hampering you, or smothering the flame of God’s burning will for your life.
But the motivation for their discouragement, and even whether it was right or wrong, isn’t the point I’m trying to make. The point is how you received those words. You took them eagerly, even if you didn’t want to and were unaware. You gathered them eagerly and took them into yourself. You didn’t let them fall on the floor, but rather allowed them inside your heart where you could chew on them for a long time. You chewed and chewed, and every bite was more bitter than the first. The aftertaste succeeded in making you sick. Sick for yourself.
So why is that? Why is it so hard to take encouragement as readily as discouragement? Why do you believe the bad but refute the good? Why is it so hard to say, I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.? Maybe the self-affirmation bit is a little off. Maybe that’s why. What if people don’t like you, or don’t like what you do?
What about saying, I know I’m in God’s will, and that is good enough. Ahhh. Now that sounds better. Much easier to digest.
Is it easier to believe in yourself when it’s not so much about “self” affirmation but rather about affirming what makes up your self? Is it easier to embrace your character when you remember what makes you you? After all you realize that apart from Him you can do nothing (John 15:5), but with Him you are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37) and most importantly, when He is for you, who can be against you (Romans 8:31).
It just feels easier to love yourself, to believe in yourself, when you believe in He who is in you. You can celebrate that He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world (1 John 4:4)!
So when you can’t believe those encouraging words others deliver about you, I want you to remember where you came from and in whom you dwell. I want you to remember who loves you, who holds you in the palm of His hand. I want you remember who directs your paths, whose voice leads you. I want you to remember who you are in Him.
If you continue to follow His lead, hear His voice in all things, and desire His will for your life, then you are doing well. The other stuff doesn’t matter as much. Yes, relationships matter. Yes, it’s okay to want the approval of those around you, but it’s not the say-all, end-all.
You will not always have the approval of everyone. That happens when God is doing something big. You won’t be good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, they probably won’t like you. But if you are walking in God’s will, that is good enough.
Be Encouraged,
You/Me
If this letter written solely for me somehow speaks to you then I am doubly blessed. Encouraging others brings me encouragement somehow. If you feel like it may speak to and bless another then I encourage you to share. Thank you readers.