She was broken. I was aware of her emotional fractures, but something about seeing her torment made into reality in the aftermath of her self-inflicted slices on her wrists seemed to magnify the tragedy to me.
I gently cleansed the repaired gash as gingerly as possible, noting the scars underneath of past hurts cut into the same frail arm.
We made small-talk as I worked, when I finally asked, “Do you have something or someone you can lean on when it all becomes too much?”
She replied nonchalantly, “I used to really like to go to church. Then after my husband and I divorced, I just quit going. The place wasn’t the same.”
I knew where she was coming from. I too remembered when I used to “go to church.” All through my early adolescence I had been a regular church-goer. It was a building where I dressed up to go every single Sunday morning. I even went on Wednesday nights!
I can also recall myself as a young woman being confronted with the very real feelings of depression (real feelings I still deal with). I think back to those memories of feeling hopeless and completely drained of any purpose to exist any longer in this world. It breaks my heart to remember those emotions of complete and utter emptiness, feelings no one should have to endure alone.
My church building couldn’t rescue me from my dark hole. And even some really wonderful people there could not, being unaware of my emotional frailty. Only a relationship with The Lord could pull me from the trench I had fallen into.
The thing is, Jesus isn’t a building. He’s the cornerstone. He’s not a religious congregation, and He’s not a denomination. He’s a Savior.
He’s a Savior intent on having a relationship with us. His idea of relationship is not simply gathering together with other folks on certain days of the week. While these things are well and good, and can indeed foster the growth of relationship; they are not the basis of such.
We are all broken in one way or another. Everyone needs help sometimes.
Jesus wants to be that! He wants to take the burdens (something He initiated on the cross) and set us free.
He desires our dependence, not our attendance!
Our sweet surrender and cries of helplessness are a welcome symphony to His ears.
Relationship is what He desires. Full dependence is what He requires. A deep peace is what we stand to acquire.
You won’t find Jesus by simply searching a building. You will find Him by searching your heart, by emptying it of yourself, and filling it with Him.
He awaits invitation into our temple, our soul, our every being.
And there you will find Him. There you will find relationship.
There He can begin the process of fixing the brokenness.
That is all 🙂