- Just as some days can be good days, some days can be bad days, some days are happy, and some days are sad, so can a day be changed by perspective. I can unintentionally sabotage my day be imagining my plight is far worse than it truly is. I don’t know if men do this as much as I think women do, but I believe it’s just human nature across the board. I know I do it a lot, and even though it’s difficult to see your own faults, I’m grateful that I’m able to recognize it more. I found myself today falling prey to a bit of a pity party. I didn’t invite anyone else. It was just for me I suppose. I unintentionally found myself in a situation where I was comparing my life to others. This is never a good thing, and I didn’t even mean to do it, but there it was. I found myself comparing career choices and the resultant income, thinking, Well sure they can afford that! A bad thought is like an infection and simply festers as you go along, sometimes even unknown to you how bad it could be getting. I continued on my day, getting ready for a conference at work. I decided I would attempt to dress up a bit since this is something I never get to do anymore. As I scanned my closet and chose a suitable outfit, my thoughts continued on that horrid, self-pitying downward spiral. After I found an outfit I commented to my sitter, who had complimented me by the way, “This sweater was bought before I moved back to Mississippi and I’ve had these pants forever! I never buy myself clothes anymore!” Once I planted this seed in my head, it was ready to take root and grow. As I sat at my table waiting for the meeting to begin, I cultivated my seed of self-pity by looking around at other women and coveting their wardrobes. That looks brand new and so in style. My clothes are so out of style. I’ll bet everyone is staring at me. (Writing this down really makes me feel silly, but I’ve started now, so let’s press on). I had gotten excited about an idea that might change some situations in my professional life. I suppose anytime we think of change that might improve an unhappy situation we get fired up and ready to move forward. I found my idea trampled today, but instead of seeing it as a closed door, I felt sorry for myself. I guess things will never change! I’m just stuck in an unhappy situation! Sigh. I’m so silly sometimes.
- I had the opportunity today to speak with someone who was feeling down about life, life in general for herself, and for the ones she loves. She was unable to understand why circumstances were so difficult, and why things had to be the way they were, why prayers weren’t being answered. I think God often speaks to me when I speak to others. It’s one reason that I enjoy writing this blog so much. When I think of circumstances and why they occur the way they do, I often think of my husband. This may be a repeat for some of you, so bear with me, or simply enjoy the reminder. I certainly do. I think back to when my husband and I were 19. I was so in love with that scrawny boy. I knew God had big plans for us! When our relationship ended when I was 20, I was beyond devastated. I was honestly mad at God for telling me we were meant to be together if it was obviously ending. I felt like He had promised me that relationship, and I was angry and confused and sad and broken. I can now realize He did intend for us to be together. We just had a few things we needed to go through before God could use us as a couple. His promises are always true, He just may not get us to them the way we think He should. His ways are higher, and I try to remain in faith with that thought in mind. When times are difficult or I encounter trials, I try to understand that it is all working towards a purpose and perfect plan He has designed specifically for me.
- If everything worked the way I thought it should, I’m certain it would fall apart somewhere in the middle. I’m just not that great of a designer to iron out each detail perfectly. But my God, He is. It’s okay to forget that every once and a while. Really, He understands. That’s grace. It’s good to keep it in mind though, and try to stop the thoughts that come and make you unhappy with your current circumstances. Most often our circumstances are of our own making, but as you pray and follow God whole-heartedly, you may wonder why those can’t change already. You’re praying faithfully, so what gives? Ahhh, it comes back to the orchestrator of the universe. And He’s not simply toying with you like a puppet on a string. He’s lining up every situation to be carried out perfectly, and He’s also changing you, growing you, and perfecting you as you wait. I’m also a big person on perception. If you ever read my blogs then you know I’m a huge optimist. I got it all wrong today! Earlier my three year old had made a huge mess of the living room. This happens daily, but I’ve been trying to teach her how to clean up after herself. Today I told her she would have to pick up all those toys if she wanted to play on her iPad. She started bawling. When I asked in frustration what was wrong she replied, “It’s too much!” I then instructed her to just focus on one toy at a time, picking up just one until they were all gone. Well, it worked. And we can do that too. Instead of focusing on a conglomeration of our problems, focus on one thing at a time, dealing with it in a state of peace rather than frenzy. It doesn’t seem that big that way. In speaking to someone else about their problems today, I was reminded of my blessings. I don’t have a lot of things others may have, but I also have a lot of things that others don’t have. Make sense? Instead of focusing on the mess of my toys, I can focus on the fact of how many toys I have. I can focus on my blessings not my lack there of. I can focus on where God is taking me while appreciating where I am in the process and enjoying the ride.
That is all 🙂