I was walking back from my mailbox yesterday, and as I made my way under the canopy of great oaks that curled overhead across my driveway I prayed. I thanked God for the cool breeze that blew across my face on a sultry, summer afternoon, and I thanked him for the blue sky all around. It led me to praising Him for family, forgiveness, and being redeemed. Then the next praise that fell from my lips caused me to pause in awe.
Thank you that you love me anyway.
The weight of that statement! Just the night before my four year old had done something I had instructed her not to do. When confronted with her guilt she had burst into remorseful tears.
As I held her and explained the lesson I was hoping she had learned, I said, “you know Momma still loves you, right? I’ll love you no matter what. Nothing would ever change that.”
This was the thing I wanted my children to know most. I wanted them to understand my unconditional love as their parent.
When I walked down my driveway and considered my past, I was grateful for the unconditional love of my Heavenly Father.
Even as I had labored under the heavy chains of alcohol addiction he had loved me.
All the while that I had led a life that went against everything the Bible taught, He had loved me.
He loved me while I sat in strip clubs, and He loved me when I woke hungover from another night of binge drinking.
He loved me while my marriage fell apart, and He loved me when in my grief I turned to everything but Him.
He loved me when I sought the affection I needed in a mere man’s eyes (okay, many men), and He loved me when I did any and everything to obtain it.
He loved me when I didn’t love myself.
He loved me when I turned my back on Him.
But most importantly He loved me when I returned to Him in shame. He never made me feel unworthy, but simply welcome. I felt welcome to return home.
And He loved me even now, when I fell short on the daily. He loved me when I was envious, when I was angry, when I was impatient, or when I was ungrateful. He loved me even though I messed up over and over again. He loved me even when I was especially unlovable. He loved me.
He loved me anyway.
In a world that bases so much on performance it’s nice to be loved just because. Nothing can remove me from His love. I’m good enough, and though I can strive each day to do better because I love Him in return, I don’t have to worry that I must be without fault to be saved. I base my actions for improvement on our relationship not on an idea that I must please Him to be loved.
He loves me despite my past, He loves me despite my current shortcomings, and He loves me despite how I may fail in the future. He loves me anyway.
Debbie Lawrence says
Love this
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Linda Schneerer says
God bless you! You are right on! Most people think God is up there shaking His finger at us! No Way! If anything, He is working at getting you to a point where you have to look up and see the only real salvation that loves you through all the ups and downs of this life! God LOVES you! And he wants nothing more than for you to see that and tell Him you LOVE Him back! Your life will never be the same and in time, you will wonder what took you so long. Remember people, Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy. He doesn’t want you to know about God. He wants you to believe that you can do anything you desire and it’s OK. Yes, it will be OK all right, but it won’t get you straight with the very God that created you for so much more! Don’t believe the lie! You CAN’T do life your own way! It won’t turn out well, as you probably already are realizing. So humble yourself before God tell Him your sorry for going your own, selfish way, and ask Him to come into your life and make you whole. And guess what? He will! And we will all get to know each other in heaven! Won’t that be cool? We’ll hear our stories and we’ll see God’s handiwork in each of our lives and we will be overwhelmed with what God was doing all along just for us! May God bless everyone who reads this and….I will see you on the other side!!!!
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you for sharing.
virginia Turner says
This is so WONDERFUL, I thank Jesus everyday too. What would we do without the Lord. Bless you.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you!
Anonymous says
I’m going to have to keep coming back to read this. So much of your story mirrors my story but I feel I am so much worse. With my guilt and shame I feel like there is a dark ugly stain on my life, the life before now, that will never be what it could have been. I often think “how disappointed God must be in me” but I feel hope with this.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
Peter Leong says
DEO,GRATIAS !
Anonymous says
I love this! Thank you so much for sharing this.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.
Growing Nurse Debi says
Amen, Brieann – thank you for reminding us. <3
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thank you.