Have you ever seen the people on social media who when something bad is going on in the world they will lament, “Jesus, come quickly!” They are the people eager to go to Heaven where there will be no more pain, no more tears, and no more awful stuff like the fallout of Election 2016. But I digress.
What I mean is that you frequently see many Christians talking about getting ready for eternity already, and though it’s embarrassing to say so, I haven’t really been one of those people. Weird, I know. Anyone who knows me knows I’m madly in love with Jesus, but the thought of going to Heaven with Him has honestly caused me pause. When I would see someone begging for the end of the world my first thought was, “No! I’m not ready!”
It wasn’t that I wasn’t solid and secure in my salvation. I most definitely was. I didn’t have unfinished business either. I just enjoyed the business I was attending to presently. In essence I loved my life, and thoughts of anything else took me off guard. So I tried not to think about it.
It made me feel guilty, you see. Guilty because I wasn’t yearning for the afterlife. I didn’t know what it was going to be like, not really, and something about the uncertainty of it all left me overwhelmed. I wanted to want it like everyone else, but I realized I felt pretty content in my comfort zone of earthly things. In a way I was scared of Heaven. I was scared of the unknown.
Heaven was supposed to be wonderful, but would my kids be there? Would they be the same? Would I be the same? Would my husband and I still be married? (Even though I read the scripture on that). Oh gosh, I hoped so. With so many questions I just let it slide. It was easier to Scarlett O’Hara Heaven, and think about it another day. I felt bad because I knew eternity was great, but I was also afraid I would miss the great things I enjoyed here on earth.
Well, it’s kinda hard to talk to God all the time, but ignore the subject of Heaven. So one morning as I watched my baby girl sleeping my feelings of eternity crept into my mind. I prayed.
I love her so much, Lord. Thank you for letting me take care of her here on earth for you.
And it was at that moment I felt the Lord say this.
Do you realize I love you like that? But even more. Do you know I give you children so you may learn how a parent loves a child, just as I love you? Yet I love you even more than that.
Thoughts of Heaven trickled around my brain as I imagined being in the presence of someone who loved me so deeply. I recalled moments where I had been in the presence of the Holy Spirit, how powerful and emotionally heavy it was to feel such affection.
How will I stand that all the time, Lord? Won’t it be too much?
I am teaching you to love. It all starts here. The love you are learning, experiencing, and feeling is just the beginning of things to continue. When you believe in me I am in you. Heaven is here on earth in you. My kingdom is within you, and the seed of eternity is growing. Eternal life in Heaven doesn’t mean you let go of all you’re building now. It continues, but in a purer and more perfect form than you can imagine.
I realized that so many of the emotions we have on earth are God-given, and as part of the makeup of man they will continue. They’ll just be improved. We won’t be controlled by our emotions, but we’ll experience them in all their glory as God intended. So many things like love, and those people that I love, will be the same, but it will be without the negative connotations.
Then I thought about something that really bothers me on earth. Time. Oh, how it flies. When I see how abnormal and uncomfortable I feel within time constraints I realize my spirit longs for eternity, a place where time will no longer be the same.
I think of those people in my life who wait for me there. I think of my mother laughing with her granddaughters, and I wonder why I feared something so beautiful?
I suppose human minds have a hard time grasping the things that exceed even our best expectations. For now I am happy to say I am not afraid anymore. I don’t fear the unknowns of eternity because there is one thing I am completely certain of, and that is God’s love for me. How can our home together be anything less than the best for me?
Instead of avoidance out of fear, I am digging deeper about my eternal home. I’m studying scripture, seeking other counsel, and listening to what the Lord would say to me about Heaven. I’ll let you know how it goes.