I recently took my four year old to see the latest and greatest Pixar movie that was out in theaters. We had a lovely time, and although I would love to blame it on hormones that I cried twelve times during the movie, I’m sure I would have anyway. Darn Disney.
Anyhow, prior to us leaving for the movies, as excitement built in my preschooler, she busied herself with thoughtful contemplation. She began to tell me all about the next movie she wanted to go see at theaters, and I was honestly surprised at her conversation since we hadn’t even gotten in the car to go and see the current one that she anticipated.
“Don’t get so busy thinking about the next movie you want to see,” I chided, “that you miss the greatness of this one.”
My husband and I have seen a lot of changes since we got married almost six years ago, but we’ve really been affected by new alterations lately. It’s been all good, and although we’re still reeling and adjusting, I can see God’s hand at work. In fact, I can see it so much that I’ve been jumping ahead of the script lately in my thought processes. With a new baby on the way and financial situations shifting positively I’ve been eager for what lies ahead. I’ve been planning career options, house designs, and a number of other dreams in my mental images of our future.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dreams, forward goals, or planning for the future, but I must admit my mind has been there a lot lately. I’ve spent much of my prayer time on what I wish to be, and not as much on the other things going on around me. I’ve laid well the plans for my own future with little regard for what God’s doing in the here and now.
I mean, sometimes tomorrow seems a lot more exciting than today. Tomorrow seems full of endless hope and it lacks things like laundry, a sink full of dishes, or twelve hour shifts. I suppose those things do reside in the future for me, but they aren’t given nearly as much of my thought life. It’s saved for the exciting stuff instead.
After chastising my daughter for neglecting to enjoy the moment by fixating on what was next I also spoke to my own heart. Wasn’t I guilty of the same? I thought it was highly likely that in my captivated daydreams of things to come I might have forgotten to be thankful for what lay presently at my feet.
If I was absorbed in what was ahead was I losing myself there and missing out on the right now? The truth was that right now I had the most dreamy life imaginable. My main job was to play with these perfect babies, and while it was often exhausting, it really was amazing.
Right now I was growing a new life in my belly, and while all I wanted to do was collapse on the couch, I would never have this exact moment again. One day soon I would be holding this child in my arms rather than my womb, and I might regret not savoring more those floppy, flutters in my lower abdomen.
Presently I listened at the growing vocabulary of my precocious two year old. In the future her grammar would improve, and I would probably miss her using “me” in place of “I.”
Me loves you Momma.
The laughter, the funny things they said, and them wanting to fight over my lap would one day end. One day I would miss all of us squeezing into a tiny bathtub together, and the simple happiness of washing my little girl’s hair. One day I would have a bigger living room, but I would probably miss the closeness we are forced to enjoy now.
The here and now would be gone in a day, and I would be unable to reclaim it. Today would become tomorrow, and tomorrow next week. Then next year. And whether I obtained the many dreams or goals I held for the future, one thing was certain; I could never repeat the past. The best I could do was enjoy it as it came.
There was nothing wrong with my four year old desiring to see the sequel to her favorite movie, and there was nothing wrong with my anticipation of future goals fulfilled. But we just had to be careful not to get lost in what was up ahead. Where we were was far too wonderful not to enjoy.
Matthew 6:31-34
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I knew too that my future remained in God’s hands, and by taking too much of it upon myself I was forgoing my trust in where He wished to take me. I decided I could simply soak in the now, and I would let Him worry about the later. The now really needed my attention more.
Chasity says
This post reminds me of one of my favorite quotes. “I’d like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to something else.” Cynthia Dunn, Dazed and Confused
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Yes!