All I needed was a nice, hot bath, and I’d feel like a normal person for sure. Being a stay-at-home mom during the week while my husband worked made finding me time a little scant, but I was determined to squeeze in a soak and scrub before the children started tearing the walls down. So while they were occupied I hurried to the tub.
And that’s when I saw it. My husband’s wedding ring hanging on a peg in the shower. Forgotten, and cast away.
He had gone to work without his wedding ring. He had left the symbol of our union abandoned in the shower. Do you know what I did?
I hurried to fill the tub before the kids could start hollering my name. That’s what I did. I noticed the ring briefly, and then all thoughts of it passed away. Why?
Because it wasn’t important.
At all.
In fact I completely forgot about my husband’s wedding ring until he texted me an hour or so later that day. He asked that if I got out if I wouldn’t mind bringing it to him. And I did get out, but then I forgot it anyway.
My point is that I never for a moment wondered why it was not on his finger, and its presence never caused me even a fleeting thought of concern. I knew he took it off because it slips around when he washes his hair, and then he forgot it in his rush out the door.
I never worried why he forgot it, or if there was a reason he did. I never for a moment questioned his motives, his allegiance to me, or anything else for that matter.
I don’t think about trusting my husband. I just do.
When his phone rings I don’t wonder who’s on the other line. I don’t feel the need to check his text records or even his pockets. Those kinds of things never even cross my mind. If someone asked me right now “do you trust your spouse” I might hesitate for a moment, but only because it’s not something I think about. It’s just something I do.
I trust him like he trusts me, and it becomes a passive action, an act as natural as breathing. I inhale the love he pours out to me, and I in turn exhale my unconditional trust and faith in the man before me.
A good man is nourished by the adoration of his wife, and he flourishes under the trust she rightfully bestows.
If I doubted my husband’s faithfulness would he not in turn distrust me also? I see trust as a two-way street, and indeed we collectively believe in the others’ ability to love abundantly, and in truth.
I don’t doubt my husband’s love, and he doesn’t doubt me. We don’t even think about if we trust one another. We just do.
When my husband got home later that evening I brought him the ring as he stood in the kitchen, and he smiled as he slipped it on his finger. It rested neatly in the indention years of marriage had formed in the skin. Perfect fit.
I smiled at the symbol of our covenant, the circle of our endless love, but I knew it was more than that. It went beyond simple metal. And while a wedding band shows the world you belong to someone else, it’s simply window dressing when compared to the commitment and trust you show one another.
You see our actions are our bond, and our trust in one another is the reflection of our commitment. It isn’t something we think about. It’s just something we do.
Marsha says
The thing is Brie that even if he had wanted to forget it, there was still the white band where his ring had been. It’s always funny how people think taking off their rings makes them available. Like who doesn’t notice the white band where a ring was. That gets me tickled. My first husband was a truck driver and that was the first sign, he didn’t have the white ring where his ring had been because truthfully he was only married to me every six weeks while he was home for a week.
Pierced Wonderings says
I’m actually wearing my husband’s ring right now. It’s on my thumb because his fingers are swollen due to some medication right now. He is more worried about it than I am. If I needed him to wear a ring to know he was committed to me, I wouldn’t have married him. Symbols are symbols and wedding rings don’t stop adultery. I know who he is. I know what our relationship is. And I don’t care whether he wears his ring or not.
brieann.rn@gmail.com says
Thanks for commenting. I completely agree.