Brie Gowen

Savor the Essence of Life

How Christians Should Be Responding to Kyle Rittenhouse and Such

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I can’t tell you how many times over the past month or so I’ve seen a controversy come across my social media feed and been disgusted. I’ve had thoughts, so many thoughts, but other than discussing them with my husband, I’ve mostly pushed them aside. And I certainly haven’t blogged about them. It’s felt pointless, straddling on hopeless, and I suppose the depressing thought of that has for the most part caused me to crawl into a hole when it comes to sharing my opinion on political/religious matters.

This morning I received an email from a pastor/reader of my posts. Thank you, sir. Your encouragement and comments of camaraderie were a blessing to me. It’s nice to remember I’m not alone in my feelings of sadness for the direction the church has taken. And while disappointing overall, it’s also encouraging to know I’m not the only lover of Jesus who has been attacked or vilified when suggesting we as followers of Christ should carry ourselves in a manner that models our Savior. Yes, I’ve been discouraged to share, even though my words are ones of love, because it’s exhausting to share what you deeply believe is true, in a spirit of kindness, and be met with jeers and laughter from your Christian brothers or sisters. Yet, isn’t that what Jesus did? Despite the angry voices, He pressed forward. When called a blasphemer, He held His tongue. Instead of going with popular opinion of religion at the time, He spoke about things like drinking His blood and eating His flesh. He knew He would lose followers, but He had no choice but to share the truth.

Now, first off, I’m in no way comparing myself to Jesus. Not at all! But I do pay close attention to His behavior. Every day when I read the Bible I absorb His Way. My goal in this life is to be His disciple. Not because I must do this for salvation! His grace is enough. I strive to be a good disciple because I love Him. With that in mind, I follow His example as much as I can. For today, that means speaking truth even when it hurts my feelings and heart at the reception of my words by some Christians. But again, the church leaders of Christ’s time didn’t like being told they were wrong either.

Big news was released today concerning Kyle Rittenhouse, and while this is a very deep subject that sheds a sad light on the inadequacy of our systems, I won’t go into every aspect of the case. As a human, I believe inequality could easily be witnessed in the proceedings, but I only want to touch on a small slice of this pie. That piece is how we as Christians should be responding to situations like this. I don’t care how those who don’t follow Jesus are talking about this case. I mean, I do, but it doesn’t bother me as much as fellow Christians speaking erroneously on earthly matters. Because our words impact Kingdom Matters. Allow me to explain.

As a proclaimed Christian we must understand we are representing Christ. When our words and actions thereafter don’t consistently speak love, we are misrepresenting our Lord. Jesus told His disciples that people would know they followed Him because of their love. We cannot forget that most important commandment, and when we do, we are a stumbling block to the salvation of others.

For example, we cannot say we are Christians, aka, followers of Christ, but then put a bumper sticker on our truck that proclaims, “let’s go, Brandon.”

We cannot choose to say a young man who killed people is a “hero.” We can’t celebrate the very poor decision of a immature mind to take a weapon across state lines to a civil unrest situation.

I mean, we can, but we shouldn’t.

We have to stop “taking sides” based on politics and understand that as followers of Jesus, the only side is love. We have to stop basing our opinions and decisions on our political platforms. When we do this, a sad situation where poor decisions were made becomes more about gun rights than it does the pointless death of fellow humans made in the image of the God we serve. We end up seeing rioters through the human eyes of destruction of property rather than empathetic eyes that try and see how a person can be pushed to make a big demonstration to get the desired results.

It seems like, to me, when I read the life of Jesus, I see a man who was without sin, yet He tried to sacrifice, serve, and love those who did sin. He saw to the heart of why the woman at the well did what she did. He loved her there. That love brought her out of her pit. He knew how to understand pain, and how to help others walk out of that pain. He never told someone, “that happened, like, a hundred years ago. Why are you still mad?!”

He was totally selfless! When something was an inconvenience to Him (like hoards of people following Him when He was just trying to grieve the murder of His cousin, John), He didn’t respond with anger. He didn’t say, “you should have thought to pack your lunch for a desert trek!”

The scripture says, “He had compassion on them.”

Despite His pain, He fed them.

He didn’t tell the woman with the blood condition He was busy with another ministry. He didn’t get angry when she touched His garment without asking. He didn’t worry that the crowd He fed would become dependent on Him for their fish and bread. He saw the pain on Martha’s face and brought her brother back to her, even though He knew the eternity that awaited him. Yes, He did it to lead others to the Father, but He also had compassion. He always had compassion. We are lacking in compassion, and our behavior isn’t bringing anyone to the Father.

We have confused our relationship with Christ with our political affiliations. We have assumed that Christianity and political platforms go hand in hand, but this is causing us to ostracize the people Jesus has called us to love and serve. We have taken a very fleshly stand and it’s having Kingdom repercussions. So, people who would benefit from the love of Christ, are instead being branded the enemy. We have taken a divisive stand rather than a servant heart. When we do this, we make a hero out of a confused boy, and a villain out of a president.

In fact, we laugh at chants of “f*€k Biden,” and we smirk at hateful rants. A political leader (if they’re on your particular side) can share a cartoon of themselves murdering their political opponents with a samurai sword, and we can say, “he didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a joke.”

Because, see, hurtful jokes become ok. Jeers, sarcasm, hatred, bigotry, selfishness, and greed become something we celebrate, and in fact, elect to office. We don’t want a Savior like Jesus anymore. We want a warrior who will annihilate our enemies (if memory serves, that’s what the disciples originally wanted Jesus to do too, yet that wasn’t His way.) How in the world we came to a place where this seems the way of Jesus is beyond me! The only thing I can figure out is people must not be reading their Bibles. I guess they’re simply listening to TikTok videos or their favorite news channel for their beliefs on life.

And that’s fine! If you want to be hateful and selfish, that’s your right. God has given us free will. My problem is when you give yourself the label of Christian, yet forget it means you are a disciple of His way. Not the way of Republicans, Fox News, or Breitbart. If you’re going to use the family name, you have to uphold the stellar reputation set by a man who told His bodyguard Peter to put down the sword. And then He put His abductor and murderer’s ear back on!

This country has become very divisive, but we can never put things back together by choosing sides. Instead we as Christians must understand when to surrender. We have to surrender our earthly ideals to His vision for the Church. We have to understand that servanthood is what He calls us to. We have to remember that the fruits of the Spirit are what we must bear, according to scripture, and that it says very little about bearing arms, unless it’s to lay them down, turn our cheeks, or “forgive them” when they know not what they’re doing.

We have a responsibility as Christians to respond to earthly and political matters in a certain way, and it’s not to “stand our ground” and protect our freedoms or rights here on earth. Our responsibility is to the Kingdom of Heaven and building that Kingdom. The Kingdom isn’t built by politicians, but rather built by love, by healing, and by repentance. Jesus showed us that healing, repentance, and eternal life did not come by earthly matters or the law, but through His sacrifice of love. Now our job, as disciples of Christ, is to show the way to eternal life and freedom from sin. Recently we’ve been pointing a path that while it will lead to religious accolades, will not necessarily lead people to Jesus. We have to work on this.

How to Have a Happy Marriage

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I receive emails and messages frequently from strangers around the world seeking advice for how to improve their marriage relationship. I can’t say I hold some kind of secret sauce to happily ever after, but I do personally enjoy a very healthy and fruitful relationship with my spouse. If asked our secret, I could mention a handful of things we do or don’t do. If I had to come up with just one word to take to the heart of marriage, it would probably be selflessness, but even that isn’t the key. As I thought about what made our union so blissful, the many key components aside, I realized there was one factor that I believed was responsible.

Even when I speak of selfless behavior, this isn’t something we came up with on our own, or even reached by trial and error. Though, building a life with someone is certainly that. It’s moments built upon days, set up into weeks, with the years racing by, where you do acquire a certain familiarity and ease of being together.

My husband said earlier at our dinner date, “I’ll bet this pandemic showed a lot of people what their marriages were made of.”

Or not made of, sadly. I mean, moments stacked up into weeks, and then passing years can be a dreadful experience if you don’t particularly like the other person. I can honestly say I love my spouse more and more, each and every day. Just when I think I couldn’t love him more… I do. So what gives?

I treat my husband the way I would want to be treated, and he is the same. He is gentle with my feelings, considerate and kind. When anger tries to gather in either of our minds, we have the wherewithal to pause, consider the other’s feelings, and not just react, but react in love. We didn’t get this from a marriage conference or life coach.

I serve my husband in love, and he serves me in return. He doesn’t serve me out of obligation, and I don’t serve him based on some religious idea. We don’t follow a traditional family unit because that’s what’s worked for others. I consider him greater than myself, and he considers me greater than himself. We place the need of one another above our personal needs or desires, and yet mutually we both get what we need in the relationship. Selfless love. Dear Abby didn’t suggest the idea.

I don’t compare. I don’t compare my man to other men, and he doesn’t compare me to other women. We don’t covet the relationships of others. We feed our own. But I also don’t compare myself to him. I don’t place our roles on a scale of justice, weighing one contribution against another. Neither does he. I don’t concern myself with what he’s not doing. I’m too busy being grateful for the things he does do. I don’t keep a tally of who does more in the relationship. That would take my eyes off the gift of doing for him. It would blind me to all the tiny, selfless acts he offers each and every day. No human counselor offered this advice.

I am too busy looking in the mirror to find fault in his reflection. I focus on being a better me, and he does the same. I water my own grass, I don’t sweat the small stuff, and I never let the sun set on my anger. Heck, I just don’t get angry much. Nope, it’s not a miracle chill pill. It’s the Fruit of the Spirit.

All the things I’ve mentioned I don’t do, or the many wonderful things my husband does do, these are all fruits that have sprung up in our marriage because we abide in the vine. To put it plainly, we follow the example of Jesus, and that makes us better for one another. Heck, if it was up to just me, I’d be a horrible wife. My hormones are a mess, I tend to be an absolute control freak, and I cannot understand people who don’t like their ducks in a row. If it were up to me, I’d likely expect perfection in a man, but I learned early on that my happiness isn’t found in this world alone. My joy is complete in Heavenly places, and that takes a load off the chaos down here.

Early in our marriage we began a journey of getting to know Jesus better, and I now realize that is the absolute best thing we did not only for ourselves, but for each other. The teachings of Jesus found in the Bible are the best life hack you will ever find. The words in red teach me how to be a better partner, a selfless friend, a giving wife, a gentle lover, a peaceable person, and an understanding spouse. They teach me not only how to love, but how to love well. Every day is spent in the Word, and because of this dedication to living and loving like Jesus, my marriage blossoms under that care. Our relationship is like a well-watered vineyard, bursting forth with good fruit. It’s not us, really, but rather our ability to live out what scripture teaches.

Of importance and worth mentioning, you can’t just read a few verses out of Ephesians and call it a day. You can’t attend a marriage conference at your church and expect a life change overnight. It turns out that the entire story of God’s love from beginning to end, on each and every page, in each parable and Old Testament lesson, lays the foundation for learning to love like Him. It’s a day by day taking in of the truth, a daily listening to the Holy Spirit, and a continuous surrendering of self to His ways. To be a good spouse is to follow Jesus. To have a happy marriage is to build your life on His purposes, abiding in His love, and not trying to fill your heart with anything less than the true love of Christ. To love the Lord, like, really love the Lord, is the only way to love your spouse as you should, and to be loved by them like you deserve.

My husband is an amazing husband because he seeks Christ. His relationship with me simply overflows from that. Any good thing I do in my marriage is Spirit led. Like I mentioned before, I’d likely be a pretty naggy and slightly psychotic wife if not for the patience, kindness, good temperance, and love the Spirit fills my heart with on the daily as I surrender my life to Him.

I never want to be one of those preachy, self-righteous, overly religious, or pious people who claim to know the secret to a happy life. Heck, I’m still learning as I go, a work in progress, if you will. All I know is, I love my husband, I love my marriage, and I love my life. I wouldn’t change one thing about it. I am not just content, I am supremely blessed, living my own fairy tale it feels like. And when I look around for a reason for my bliss, or the cause of such happiness, I know without a doubt it’s our decision to grow close to Jesus that has drawn us so perfectly close to one another. No secret sauce, but certainly a great recipe for a happy married life.

How Christianity is Missing the Harvest

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In reading my Bible this morning a verse really stuck out to me. It’s like the words zoomed off the page, and I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking those words just for me at that moment.

I think of that old song by The Byrds, Turn, Turn, Turn, where they sing, “there is a time for every purpose, under heaven.” Taken from the 3rd Book of Ecclesiastes, the words basically explain that every event in our lives is for a purpose. Even the hard ones. If ever there was a season that I would question its purpose, it would probably be this one. There have been hundreds of memes joking about the horrible year that was 2020, and we laugh. But I think most of us laughed to keep from crying.

Whether you want to quote The Byrds or the original author, likely Solomon, the verse/lyrics tell us, there’s a time to weep (which I did a lot the last year), a time to laugh (which thankfully I continued to do). It also says there’s a time to plant (which I try to do daily), but also a time to reap (which brings me back to the beginning of this whole thing).

John 4:34-35
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. 35 Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.

Ripe for the harvest. Y’all, I believe our country is ripe for a harvest.

The conversation in John 4 takes place between Jesus and His disciples right after He’s spoken to the Samaritan woman at the well. This is significant in the fact that Jesus just told this woman a time was coming when she wouldn’t have to go to the mountain or Jerusalem (to the temple) to worship. Jesus tells her that His Father is seeking worshippers who will worship Him in Spirit and Truth. He lets her know that time is coming, and it’s coming through Him. As a Samaritan and a woman she’s been “unworthy” according to the religious leaders, but the Messiah arrives to rock the foundations of the Law and to tear the temple curtain in half. Meaning, people like the sinner at the well are welcome to seek forgiveness and eternal life as much as anyone else.

Over the years (since the arrival of Christ), the enemy has come to distort the message of Salvation, and he’s often come under the guise of religious law. If you’re looking for the devil, you won’t find him in a bar or strip club. You’ll find him in the church, whispering his lies softly to those who will listen. You can look back in history at the destruction of mankind in the name of the Lord, and each time after Satan has used man to destroy the message of love and forgiveness, the Holy Spirit has raised up purveyors of truth to heal the rift zealotry has left in its wake.

I believe we are in a period of time where Jesus is calling purveyors of His truth to rise.

Open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest!

I don’t want to save people! Only Jesus does that. But I do want to show people the healing that can be found only in His love. I want to offer freedom to the captives and daily success through this troubled world.

Boy, is this world troubled. The pain, loss, and hatred of 2020 has planted open, hungry hearts in the center of mankind. The ground has been made soft by this past year. I don’t believe God gave us COVID to judge mankind, but I do believe He can use it to draw His children into His loving arms.

So, how does one reap in a season of harvest?

I’ll tell you how NOT to reap.

We will never reap by an Us versus Them mentality.

We will never reap by separating ourselves from those who need us the most.

We won’t reap by ignoring the reality of racial inequality and injustice, simply because it makes us uncomfortable to admit it still exists.

We cannot reap when we close ourselves off in a church building, with a sign of rules posted outside the door.

We cannot reap by placing politics at the forefront of our purposes.

We cannot reap when our hope is in who is elected to the oval office, rather than who is the King of Kings.

We cannot reap when we ignore the sins of pride, rage, hatred, or malice, while only focusing on the sins of homosexuality or abortion.

We cannot reap when we speak words of division and anger, rather than words of kindness and love.

We cannot reap when we publicly bicker with fellow believers on social media who have differing opinions.

Do you love Jesus? Do you believe He died for our sins so we might have eternal life?

If the answers are yes and yes, then we as the church of Christianity should stand united to reap.

Who did you vote for? Are you a Republican or a Democrat?

These are the questions that distract us from the ripe fields.

There’s a wind of deception blowing through our land. Why do you think that is?

The Father seeks those who will worship Him in Spirit and Truth.

Satan seeks to divide, deceive, and distract.

I believe we have come to a season of harvesting. I believe for many Christians it’s a time to turn, turn, turn.

To turn away from political entanglements. To turn away from a deceiving Religious Spirit that whispers anything other than the Saving Grace of Jesus!

We are in a season of harvesting, but many of the “workers” are trying too hard to separate the wheat from the chaff. This is not our job, gang. The Messiah decides what needs to be gathered into the barn and what gets thrown into the fire. I fear many think too highly of their position as wheat, and I certainly don’t want to be told by my Savior to depart, that He never knew me.

So, how do we successfully reap in this season?

We reap by reading our Bible more and our social media feeds less.

We reap by seeking the truth of the Holy Spirit, not by seeking truth in the media or on YouTube.

We reap by loving God with all our heart, and not giving the best of ourselves to our politics.

We reap by loving our neighbor as ourselves, not by saying “we gotta take care of our own first.”

We reap by laying down pride, by turn, turn, turning from self-righteous indignation.

We reap by admitting where we have been wrong.

We reap by modeling forgiveness. Y’all, I’ve been working on this one. My heart hurts from religious friends who told me I wasn’t a “true Christian” when I questioned if Donald Trump was the best representative for Christianity. I have had to lay down my offense over and over, understanding it’s not about me. It’s about doing His will. In the verses above in John, Jesus said his food was to do the will of His Father.

We need more of that! We’re getting a bellyache lately from filling up on worldly food, making ourselves sick on politics and conspiracy theories. We cannot reap if our diet is unhealthy! We must feed on His truth, His bread of life, and His living water. I am certain we will never find those foods stocked on the shelves of this world.

We reap by loving first. Loving God, and loving others. The “others” here includes those who think different than you, look different than you, vote different than you, and live different than you. If you’re interested in being in a “Saved Club” where you and your closest friends get to go to Heaven, then by all means, continue the work you’ve been doing. But if you desire to truly open your eyes and see the field, then I encourage you to step away from the worldly distraction. Step away from the law, and step into His grace. Step into the neighborhoods, lifestyles, and groups you sneer at, and join the Father in showing EVERYONE the way home.

How Would Jesus Respond to Black Lives Matter?

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There are so many aspects of society and its response to racism and inequality that I could talk about, but there’s really only one small part of this very large issue that I wish to discuss today. And that’s the thing. In essence this is a really small part. It’s a small act of service that we can provide to our brothers and sisters in the midst of a very large issue. In fact, this tiny concession means a big deal to the people in the muck of this mess, and who wouldn’t want to sacrifice (if I can even use such a lofty word) something so minuscule to make a huge impact on the feelings of another?

I think one of the bigger things bothering me during this uprising following the heinous murder of George Floyd (aside from blatant ignorance and racism, of course) is the position of some Christian brothers and sisters. Their perhaps well-meaning proclamations are hitting the ground flat, and they don’t represent me, although I am not one who is worthy to judge. You see, I too used to feel much the same as pious phrases I see pop up on social media, but I am grateful that the longer I live, the more the Lord reveals things to me. So, I thought I’d share what He’s saying.

As Christians (white Christians, that is), it’s easy to say things like, “Jesus died for us all!” And while I agree that’s true, we can’t stop there at such a deep-seated issue. After all, Jesus died to conquer sin, something that sadly still abounds and must be confronted. Remember when Jesus got angry and confronted sin in His Dad’s house?

We as white Christians will say that love is colorblind, and that the Lord only looks on the inside of a man. Again, these things are true, but the problem is that man doesn’t just look at the inside. In fact, they mostly look at the outside. They can’t help themselves. It’s that sin nature. Although we should desire to see people like Jesus, the problem is, we do not. We can’t change an entire society in a day. So, Karen, while I agree we should judge mankind by the red blood we all bleed, there’s too many bad people not doing that. We need to face up to that first.

And here’s the one I hate the most. Do you know I even said it before myself? I thought it was the Christian thing to say; what Jesus Himself would say. But now I realize I was just saying what I wanted to believe. What mattered to me. I was being selfish. I joined the band of good people saying “All Lives Matter,” but I never considered how far off base I was. Although all lives do matter to Jesus, in the face of inequality and racial injustice, I really don’t believe that’s what Jesus would say. I know, I know. I’m freaking you Caucasian, Southern Baptists out right now, but if we could ask Jesus how He felt about the Black Lives Matter movement, I really don’t think He’d respond like a large number of His followers.

Jesus would not say “all lives matter.”

When I was praying about this earlier and asking the Lord to reveal to me His heart on the matter I kept thinking about the verses in the Bible where Jesus washed the disciples’ feet. I started to Google “what the Bible says about equality ” or something to that nature, but my mind just kept telling me the feet washing was all I needed to know.

I felt like Jesus said to my heart, “when you say Black Lives Matter, you’re washing feet.”

Y’all, stay with me. In John 13:1-17 we read the account of Jesus washing the feet of His disciples. First off, you need to understand something about feet back then. They were dirty. Everyone wore saddles, walked in the desert, and probably in animal excrement too. Every house had a basin at the door so people coming in could wash their nasty feet before entering. Even the poor homes had a basin for guests. The richer homes, though, had a servant who actually would wash the feet of the guests. Can you imagine having that job?!

When Jesus washed the feet of His disciples He was taking a posture of humility. He was saying that even though His Dad was The King and it was His House, that He would lower Himself to the role of a servant, washing away our dirt, and making us more suitable to come into His home.

Posture of Humility. I want you to think about that.

John 13: 12-15 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. ““You call me ‘Teacher and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.

Do your remember the greatest commandment? It was to love the Lord your God, and second to love your neighbor as yourself. Our black neighbors have not felt very loved, and rightly so. They have felt less than us. Do you remember who Jesus revealed Himself as Savior to first? A Samaritan woman, who historically was considered less than a Jewish man, not only because of gender, but also race. Yet Jesus chose her for a very special event in history; to be the first to know the Son of God had come to earth to save mankind.

Jesus came to save us all, but He also understood what it was like to be marginalized. He revealed Himself to a Samaritan Woman to prove that He stood with the weak, the ones who were judged unfairly, the people who felt wounded by society. He loves us all, and He came to save us all, but He chose to reveal Himself to a woman who had been treated unfairly based on things other than her soul. He also took on the role of a servant to show mankind that humility is the best way to love!

Posture of Humility.

When people are hurting, Jesus takes a posture of humility. When people are treated unfairly, He takes a posture of humility. Yes, He throws tables too, but the beginning of having a servant heart comes with humbling yourself. It comes with saying, “I will be less, so you can be more.”

To answer back to Black Lives Matter with All Lives Matter, while basically true, is really the opposite of what Jesus would do. Check your heart and ask why the phrase bothers you so much. Is it because it implies white lives don’t matter to people? Or that police lives don’t matter? Or that your life doesn’t matter?

1 John 3:16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

No one is asking you to lay down your physical life, even though Jesus did, but if you truly want to follow His example, you would see that a huge part of being a Christian is laying down yourself. We must constantly lay down our own desires and look at the desires of others. We must constantly check our own selfish ambition and motives. We must take the role of servant and see to the hurting people around us, forgetting our own pain, and only seeing that of others. When Jesus washed the disciples feet He knew Judas would betray Him, that Peter would deny Him, and that Thomas would doubt Him, yet He washed their feet anyway. He took a posture of humility that said, “it’s ok that I’m giving my life. This isn’t about me right now. It’s about you. Let me wash your feet.”

Do you see now? If you see someone hurting, cry with them. If you see someone angry, listen to their words. Hug them. No one is asking you to hang on a cross simply by answering, “yes, your life does matter. I’m sorry people have treated you like it didn’t.”

I would encourage you to lay down your pride and take the position of Jesus. Take a position of humility. The position of a servant who sees the injustice towards others and offers to wash their feet.

Some of Us Are Mary, Some of Us Are Martha, and That’s OK

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The Bible tells us of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Mary we have met before. She’s the sister who got into trouble, made bad choices, and had faced the consequences of them. Her reputation had suffered, and she was judged by others for her lifestyle choices. By all except one. Jesus. When she encountered Jesus her life changed. She saw that she was precious despite her mistakes. She learned redemption, forgiveness, and the meaning of love. Perhaps you know a Mary. Perhaps the Mary is you.

Although these sisters had their differences, one way they favored was their love of Jesus. I mean, to know Him was to love Him. After meeting Jesus and being enlightened to His truth, you were never the same. Mary was definitely never the same!!! But neither was Martha.

A popular retelling of the Bible, concerning Mary and Martha, shares an evening they spent with Him as a guest in their home. Consider it a party, and the guest of honor was Jesus Himself! This Bible story is especially popular in Women Group circles. I mean, no one wants to be a Martha!

In fact, you feel terrible guilt for being a Martha. There Jesus is in the very presence of these two sisters. He’s going to die soon! And He’s even told them all His time is near. Yet only one sister sits at His feet to glean from His charming conversation. The other is too busy baking bread or something. Come on?! Didn’t she know how sluggish carbs make you feel?

Ok, joking. Kinda. But seriously? Every woman has heard how she needs to not busy herself with menial tasks like Martha, but instead sit still at the feet of Jesus. The problem is that we women are really excellent at all the tasks. Like, we are task masters. We are multitaskers. We are killing this multitask thing! Oh dear! I’m guilty of being a Martha! Pack your bags. We’re going on a guilt trip!

Here’s the thing, though. I was recently reading a book that opened my eyes to something I had never thought of before. And as I thought about it more and more I realized something. Jesus was incredibly fond of Martha!

We only think of Mary. And yes, Mary was blessed by her stillness. She was blessed to sit at the feet of Jesus. He loved her deeply! And when He tells Martha that what Mary is doing is important, to lay off her already, we figure Jesus must be saying that being a Mary is where’s it at. We imagine Jesus being angry when He said this, but I imagine He gave a gentle smirk in her direction as He spoke. Consider this.

Martha adored Jesus. Just as much as Mary! But the Father creates us all differently. We go through different things in our lives, and the world shapes us in different ways. Mary showed her love by sitting at His feet. But Martha showed hers by serving.

To serve Jesus was how Martha said, “I love you!” It was her way of showing adoration. She probably swept that dirty floor ten times over before Jesus arrived. I can just see her turning a vase of flowers so the light of the sunset would hit them just right as it came through the window. I can imagine her tasting the food again and again, desiring it to be perfect for her Savior and King. This was Martha’s way.

Now the problem with Martha was she thought to serve was everyone’s love language, that it was everyone’s way. She couldn’t understand why her sister wasn’t more willing to love Jesus by carrying trays like she did! Jesus let her know that Mary was giving Him honor in her own way. A wonderful way. But I realized this week that Martha’s way was no less, like I had assumed before.

Maybe you’re a Martha. Perhaps you serve in the church choir, tend the nursery, and are in the church pew each time the doors are open! You host Bible studies in your home, lead a ladies’ group, and get your name on the list first of casseroles to take to a grieving family. That is wonderful! You serve Jesus in love. Be proud of that. But don’t assume that the Mary who listens quietly to the sermon and never raises her hand to volunteer loves Him any less. She is being still at His feet. That is her way.

The Father created a wonderful thing in women. We are wonderful at tasks, and amazing at serving. We’re the hostess with the mostest. Some of us, anyway, and the Martha’s out there should never feel guilty for walking in the gift they have been given. The gift of a servant heart.

But just as important, the Mary’s out there shouldn’t feel like they are less among women when they don’t have the gift of leading, organizing events, or hosting in their home. Some of us are simply more comfortable resting at His feet. We allow our sisters to serve, and we appreciate them. Our gift is insight at His feet. It’s a gift we give back to anyone who takes the time to speak to us about our first love. Jesus.

Are you a Mary? Maybe you’re a Martha. Perhaps you’re a mix of both. That sounds good! Whichever gifting emerges to the forefront in your life, the important thing to remember is this. Jesus loved both sisters! Although different, they were both precious in His sight!

Be a Helper

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He had not gotten nearly as much done as I thought he should. I had just gotten back from waiting for lab work. So much waiting. I had sat in that waiting room forever, holding my breath for them to call my name. There were always tests that needed to be run to ensure a traveling nurse was healthy for an upcoming job, but this last minute, surprise one was simply a hindrance on my timetable. We needed to be packed up, ready to go, check-lists checked, and to-do’s done. So you can imagine my frustration when I returned from the thirty minute trek into town and saw so many things still left undone.

I sat in the camp host’s office, settling our bill, and efficiently checking out so we could simply hook up and pull away the following morning. In my mind I tabulated the tasks I must complete.

“Is your husband over there?”

The man who ran our RV Park interrupted my thoughts with his urgent questioning.

“He is,” I commented with a smile.

I signed my receipt and carried on a conversation with the man’s wife.

“Dick sure is gonna miss Ben,” she said forlorn. “Ben’s his go-to guy!”

I smiled and replied, “Ben enjoys picking his brain too.”

At that moment the male duo appeared in the doorway.

“We’ll be back shortly,” Dick exclaimed!

I knew “shortly” was a relative term for this particular handyman. My husband eyed me eagerly, his countenance saying, “I’m sorry, babe. I gotta.”

I knew this.

I smiled. A genuine smile.

“Y’all go on!” I said.

My eyes spoke to my husband, “I know.”

Later that evening, after our work was done, we discussed it.

“I had to help him,” my husband commented.

I answered easily, “oh, I know. I knew you would, and I didn’t think anything about it. It went without saying that you’d go. That’s what you do.”

He was a helper.

My husband could start up a Bible study in our RV Park, I suppose, and perhaps some folks might even attend, but that wasn’t really how he did things. He was a helper. He was a talker. But more than that he was a doer. When we had first met the couple who managed our park my husband had told the man, “if you ever need anything, just let me know!”

He had followed his offer with a firm handshake and a solid gaze, but more than that, he had followed it with commitment. Every time Dick needed a helper, well, Ben helped. He was that way to everyone. He struck up conversations with all our neighbors, drew the old hermit out of his shell. He made the sourpuss smile, carried the groceries for the older lady, or helped the young, single woman turn a wrench.

The folks around here knew we were Christians; that certainly wasn’t a secret. If they didn’t catch it in the shirts we wore, the Bible my husband toted everywhere, or the praise and worship music emanating from our RV, then they picked it up from our young children who were always eager to talk about God’s love. The point is, they know we proclaim ourselves to be “Christians,” but they also see what our actions proclaim. They say, “hey, those folks are always smiling, always happy, and always eager to help a fella out when he needs it.”

We were helpers.

In a fast-paced world it’s easy to just keep on driving. You go past the broke-down car on the side of the road, you look away from the beggar, you convince yourself the addict will just use the money for drugs rather than a pillow to lay their head. The world says, “I ain’t got time for that!” But then again, I think Jesus told us not to conform to this old world.

It’s easy to be busy, run about, and get what’s ours. We gotta put on our own oxygen mask first, I guess you could say. But sadly, after it’s on, we pretty much forget the other guy. We think we can teach a Sunday School class or go on that week-long mission trip in the Summer to save some souls for Jesus. That’ll do it! We’ll give our 10%! Check the box. Done. Yet Jesus calls us for more. He calls us to be a servant, to be a helper, to be great lovers of His people. All His people. It’s not that hard. We can actually do it everyday. Everyday people are looking for a hand, and it’s up to us to lend it. It’s up to us to be the hands and feet, to show the world His love in our willingness to give our time and attention.

Jesus doesn’t call us to fly across the world and feed the starving children. He does some. But He also calls us to feed the children right in our own neighborhood. We feed them with the turn of a screwdriver, or the holding open of a heavy screen door. We feed them with a smile, a compliment, a helping hand. We feed them when we notice a need, and fill it. We feed more than stomachs. We feed hearts. We feed needs. We feed spirits. We feed the fulfillment of God’s will. We feed selflessness. We are helpers. And that’s something the world needs more of.

Why It’s Okay for Women to Be Servants

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Recently I was running around last minute finishing laundry, tidying my home, and throwing together a home cooked meal. I had to work the next day and the few hours left of time away from my nursing job were drawing to a close, but as I put tiny little shorts away in little white drawers I realized something unexpected. I loved it. I loved what I was doing. And I did it because of love. 

I see a world more and more frequently where women are made to feel odd for wanting to stay at home. They’re encouraged to seek first their career goals, and to share the load of the home with the rest of their family. And that’s fine. It totally is. I can stand behind that, especially in economic times that often require dual working parents. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who works outside the home; I work outside the home. But what bothers me is a society that says that’s the only way it should be, that anything else is demeaning to women. 

See, our advancing times are all about pushing “progress” which often leaves traditional ways of thinking in the mud. Feminist movements tell women “you deserve to be outside the home” and convince them that a desire to raise children solely is beneath them. In fact, this way of thinking convinces women that if they don’t work then they are less. 

The stigma of stay-at-home wives and moms is likened with laziness, and some schools of thought pile pity on a lady who wishes to care for her home as a career. It doesn’t seem lofty enough, ambitious enough, or worthy enough for a strong, intelligent woman. And the idea of serving your family? Well, that’s just absurd. 

Thoughts of servanthood bring to mind things like waitressing, being a maid, or even a slave, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The fact is the word servant isn’t a bad word, it’s actually an admirable quality. If you look at a definition for servant it’s termed as a devoted, helpful follower or supporter. So therefore being a servant doesn’t equal forced behavior. It’s actually a labor of love. 

I am a servant in my home, and I am proud to hold that title. I serve my children because I love them, and I am modeling for them that when you love someone you help them. I’m a servant to my husband because I love him. I’m his biggest supporter, and I help him in any way I can. I tell him how much I love him, but my actions of servanthood show him in tangible ways. And you know what? He in turn serves me. Because he loves me. 

And I guess what I’m trying to say is there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with serving those you love. It isn’t weak. It’s actually strong. For when you can give of yourself expecting nothing in return it shows you have a heart for others. Servants are leaders in their home. They are mentors for future generations, and if that’s not a high, respected calling in life then I don’t know what is. 
Let’s get rid of the stigma of women being servants. It’s not beneath them; it’s actually something we should all strive for in life. From a Christian perspective God became man in the form of Jesus so that He could serve mankind. What woman out their doesn’t wish to raise the bar a little higher when given such an honorable example to follow. The Savior of the world was a feet washer first, and perhaps it’s time we all got down on our knees for those we love. 

As I go about my day serving my family I try and remind myself why I do it. When time is short, my nerves are frazzled, and even when “thank you’s” seem to be lacking, I try to remind myself that I do it for love, and I really do love that. I don’t think there’s any higher calling for me as a woman than to serve those I love.