Brie Gowen

Savor the Essence of Life

How Christianity is Missing the Harvest

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In reading my Bible this morning a verse really stuck out to me. It’s like the words zoomed off the page, and I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking those words just for me at that moment.

I think of that old song by The Byrds, Turn, Turn, Turn, where they sing, “there is a time for every purpose, under heaven.” Taken from the 3rd Book of Ecclesiastes, the words basically explain that every event in our lives is for a purpose. Even the hard ones. If ever there was a season that I would question its purpose, it would probably be this one. There have been hundreds of memes joking about the horrible year that was 2020, and we laugh. But I think most of us laughed to keep from crying.

Whether you want to quote The Byrds or the original author, likely Solomon, the verse/lyrics tell us, there’s a time to weep (which I did a lot the last year), a time to laugh (which thankfully I continued to do). It also says there’s a time to plant (which I try to do daily), but also a time to reap (which brings me back to the beginning of this whole thing).

John 4:34-35
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. 35 Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.

Ripe for the harvest. Y’all, I believe our country is ripe for a harvest.

The conversation in John 4 takes place between Jesus and His disciples right after He’s spoken to the Samaritan woman at the well. This is significant in the fact that Jesus just told this woman a time was coming when she wouldn’t have to go to the mountain or Jerusalem (to the temple) to worship. Jesus tells her that His Father is seeking worshippers who will worship Him in Spirit and Truth. He lets her know that time is coming, and it’s coming through Him. As a Samaritan and a woman she’s been “unworthy” according to the religious leaders, but the Messiah arrives to rock the foundations of the Law and to tear the temple curtain in half. Meaning, people like the sinner at the well are welcome to seek forgiveness and eternal life as much as anyone else.

Over the years (since the arrival of Christ), the enemy has come to distort the message of Salvation, and he’s often come under the guise of religious law. If you’re looking for the devil, you won’t find him in a bar or strip club. You’ll find him in the church, whispering his lies softly to those who will listen. You can look back in history at the destruction of mankind in the name of the Lord, and each time after Satan has used man to destroy the message of love and forgiveness, the Holy Spirit has raised up purveyors of truth to heal the rift zealotry has left in its wake.

I believe we are in a period of time where Jesus is calling purveyors of His truth to rise.

Open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest!

I don’t want to save people! Only Jesus does that. But I do want to show people the healing that can be found only in His love. I want to offer freedom to the captives and daily success through this troubled world.

Boy, is this world troubled. The pain, loss, and hatred of 2020 has planted open, hungry hearts in the center of mankind. The ground has been made soft by this past year. I don’t believe God gave us COVID to judge mankind, but I do believe He can use it to draw His children into His loving arms.

So, how does one reap in a season of harvest?

I’ll tell you how NOT to reap.

We will never reap by an Us versus Them mentality.

We will never reap by separating ourselves from those who need us the most.

We won’t reap by ignoring the reality of racial inequality and injustice, simply because it makes us uncomfortable to admit it still exists.

We cannot reap when we close ourselves off in a church building, with a sign of rules posted outside the door.

We cannot reap by placing politics at the forefront of our purposes.

We cannot reap when our hope is in who is elected to the oval office, rather than who is the King of Kings.

We cannot reap when we ignore the sins of pride, rage, hatred, or malice, while only focusing on the sins of homosexuality or abortion.

We cannot reap when we speak words of division and anger, rather than words of kindness and love.

We cannot reap when we publicly bicker with fellow believers on social media who have differing opinions.

Do you love Jesus? Do you believe He died for our sins so we might have eternal life?

If the answers are yes and yes, then we as the church of Christianity should stand united to reap.

Who did you vote for? Are you a Republican or a Democrat?

These are the questions that distract us from the ripe fields.

There’s a wind of deception blowing through our land. Why do you think that is?

The Father seeks those who will worship Him in Spirit and Truth.

Satan seeks to divide, deceive, and distract.

I believe we have come to a season of harvesting. I believe for many Christians it’s a time to turn, turn, turn.

To turn away from political entanglements. To turn away from a deceiving Religious Spirit that whispers anything other than the Saving Grace of Jesus!

We are in a season of harvesting, but many of the “workers” are trying too hard to separate the wheat from the chaff. This is not our job, gang. The Messiah decides what needs to be gathered into the barn and what gets thrown into the fire. I fear many think too highly of their position as wheat, and I certainly don’t want to be told by my Savior to depart, that He never knew me.

So, how do we successfully reap in this season?

We reap by reading our Bible more and our social media feeds less.

We reap by seeking the truth of the Holy Spirit, not by seeking truth in the media or on YouTube.

We reap by loving God with all our heart, and not giving the best of ourselves to our politics.

We reap by loving our neighbor as ourselves, not by saying “we gotta take care of our own first.”

We reap by laying down pride, by turn, turn, turning from self-righteous indignation.

We reap by admitting where we have been wrong.

We reap by modeling forgiveness. Y’all, I’ve been working on this one. My heart hurts from religious friends who told me I wasn’t a “true Christian” when I questioned if Donald Trump was the best representative for Christianity. I have had to lay down my offense over and over, understanding it’s not about me. It’s about doing His will. In the verses above in John, Jesus said his food was to do the will of His Father.

We need more of that! We’re getting a bellyache lately from filling up on worldly food, making ourselves sick on politics and conspiracy theories. We cannot reap if our diet is unhealthy! We must feed on His truth, His bread of life, and His living water. I am certain we will never find those foods stocked on the shelves of this world.

We reap by loving first. Loving God, and loving others. The “others” here includes those who think different than you, look different than you, vote different than you, and live different than you. If you’re interested in being in a “Saved Club” where you and your closest friends get to go to Heaven, then by all means, continue the work you’ve been doing. But if you desire to truly open your eyes and see the field, then I encourage you to step away from the worldly distraction. Step away from the law, and step into His grace. Step into the neighborhoods, lifestyles, and groups you sneer at, and join the Father in showing EVERYONE the way home.

We’re All Defective

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Once I cared for a young man who had survived an overdose attempt. He was young enough to be my son, and as I looked at his handsome face and deep, kind eyes, I did feel an almost motherly affection for him. In fact, after we had gotten comfortable with one another I jokingly addressed him as “son,” and he in turn called me “mom.” It was a good day, that day, and my time with him reminded me of something we can all forget.

We’re all broken. In one way or another.

He had just so happened to hit his rock bottom place. Do you remember yours? Maybe you haven’t hit it yet.

I can recall mine. I was around the same age as him. College. That time where you’re supposed to be grown, and it seems like everyone expects you to have it all figured out. It’s funny to me, an age where an individual has the ability to lay their life on the line for their country, is also an age where so much uncertainty can be. But I’ve found that it’s in those lonely, indeterminate times that God meets us. When our hands are thrown in the air, when we cannot find the answers, at the end of our rope; there He is.

This young man reminded me so much of myself. Sensitive, tearful, soft-spoken, kind. The tears in his eyes felt like my own, and if I could have placed my understanding of life at forty-two into his own fragile state of mind, I probably would have, but I also know that we must all get to that place in our own time. It took me a long time to get there. I still pray now that it won’t take him near as long.

During one of our many, heartfelt conversations he shared his broken spirit, in shaking, emotional words.

He cried, “I’m defective!”

And my heart broke for him. Empathetic, I felt his pain. I had known it myself. I wanted to run to his rescue, to console my son, to encourage him, to tell him how lovely he was.

I wanted to say, “no you’re not!” But something held me back.

How many times had others tried to make me see myself like Jesus saw me? Precious, loved, made new? Until I was ready to see myself like God intended, it was just words. And although it was all true, I was beautiful and made perfect, it wasn’t until I accepted my brokenness that I could allow Jesus to fix me.

So instead I answered him, “yes, you are defective! So am I! So is everyone. It’s called being human. And it’s ok.”

If God had a clubhouse with a sign above the door I am very certain what it wouldn’t say. It wouldn’t read,

No Sinners Allowed

It wouldn’t proclaim,

No Brokenness Can Enter Here

The Lord certainly isn’t the little boy on the school bus in Forest Gump saying, “you can’t sit here!”

No, I like to think that Jesus is more like Jenny, patting the empty seat beside her, a smile even though we’re a little weird, a little different, a little defective.

No, I think if God had a clubhouse, the uneven, wooden slab above the door would read in faded, red paint,

No Perfect People Allowed

It’s only once we’ve accepted His invitation inside that we are made perfect through Him. And even that is a journey.

We’re all broken, you see, in one way or another. Many of us experienced a horrible childhood, some worse than others. Some can move on from the ashes, and others not so much. I do know this; we all need a hand out of our mess. We’re all defective, like my young patient felt, and it’s in that mangled mess that God can save us. It’s in our weakness that His strength emerges, and it’s in our hopeless, helpless, unrecoverable life that He can make all things new.

You know what you can’t see when you’re at the bottom? The top. You know what you can’t see in the midst of misery? The way out. It’s ok. It’s ok because He is the light at the end of the tunnel. He is the hand that pulls us out of our mess.

God doesn’t expect our perfection to come to Him. He just wants our love. He takes care of all the rest. So, while the bad news is that yes, we’re all defective, the good news is that He in turn is our perfector.

Why Being a Good Christian is Pointless

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I recently had a friend who was disappointed in herself for a mistake she made. I could totally understand her feelings as I’m my own worst enemy sometimes as well, but it also kind of bothered me how she almost seemed to condemn herself for her accidental and very human behavior. She was a newer Christian, and as I witnessed her distress over messing up, I realized she was experiencing what a lot of believers do, even seasoned ones. She was placing too much value on herself and her actions.

Listen, I’m all about allowing a relationship with Jesus to change your life. I know it certainly has mine. I’m a totally different person than I was a little over a decade ago. I no longer smoke two packs a day, drink like a fish, or cuss like a sailor, but I’m under no impression that my decision to no longer do these things grants me Heaven Points. It doesn’t make me a better Christian or more favored by the Lord. Falling deeper in love with Christ over time has transformed my life and how I go about it, but it’s not what gets me eternal life. And if you’re trying to be a good Christian for eternity sake, then you’re sadly mistaken. It’s pointless to be a good Christian to get to Heaven. Sorry, but it’s true.

The wonderful thing about Christianity is that the Lord is full of grace. I look back at some of the things I did in my past, and I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today without His great grace. While I was still knee-deep in sin and denying Him, the Lord still loved me. When He died on the cross, it was for me, even with the foreknowledge of all the stupid crap I’d pull. He loved me anyway.

We say that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and therefore His love for us doesn’t change. It isn’t conditional or based on my performance. He isn’t an angry father who looks down in disdain at my missteps, and He doesn’t rank me in favor because of my performance. There isn’t a bank in Heaven where my good deeds add up to cancel out my bad ones. His blood covered me, redeemed me, and continues to do so!

So, in that case can I just run willy-nilly making mayhem and misery? Absolutely not! The Lord does expect a wisdom for behavior as I draw closer to Him, and I believe He blesses my life when I follow His precepts more closely. But He doesn’t cut me off when I drop an F-bomb or judge Sally for being a Lying McLiarson. I strive to speak life and truth because I’m grateful for how the Lord saved me, but I also understand that it’s not my ability to do that perfectly that seals my fate.

Because it comes down to this. It’s not about me! I can’t place the weight of my eternity on my own merit. I’ll fall short every time. Yes, I have the free will and choice to choose eternal life, but I don’t create my own doorway to Heaven. Jesus already laid down that bridge. If I try to base my Christian walk on how well I do, I’ll feel inadequate in every way, because according to human nature, I am. But God! His goodness within me helps steer me daily to be the best me I can be. So, I’m not a slave to sin, but I’m also not the savior of myself. I can’t place all my bets on my ability to be good enough. The battle for my soul has already been won.

I’m afraid a lot of people fall away from the Lord because religion teaches them that they must follow a certain set of rules to be good enough for God. You can’t do this, can’t do that, and if you do… ut oh! Yet the fact is, you’ll never be good enough. And if you try and place your salvation on your own thin shoulders, you’ll fall fast under the weight. Thankfully the yoke of the Lord is light, because He takes away the weight of sin. By trusting in Him, accepting His grace, and keeping your eyes focused on Him, you’ll find that you’re pretty good after all. His faithfulness draws you in and encourages and inspires you to lead a better, more productive, more loving life. But if you fall, and you most likely will, it won’t be up to your own strength to lift you from the mire.

Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV)

8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

I don’t care if you’re the most apparently perfect Christian out there! If you tithe every week, never lie, and always wear “appropriate” attire to service on Sunday morning, it doesn’t matter like you may think. It’s not your ability to act like a good Christian, but rather your ability to be good in the fact that God’s grace saves. It saves all! Even the burly dudes with tats and a potty mouth. Even the chick with a short skirt and cigarette hanging out of her mouth. Even the depressed mom or anxious father. Even the divorced lady or the adulterous fella. God’s grace covers all sin, even the ones you think are especially horrible. Those who seek the Lord’s forgiveness will be forgiven. Let God deal with the sin that continues in their life. Let God deal with the sin that continues in your own. Let not man judge, but allow the Lord to speak truth to each in His perfect timing. Let us pray for one another, offer Godly counsel, and loving correction, but let us never forget that our goodness isn’t what sets up our salvation. Only Jesus can do that. You’ll never be “good” enough on your own, but through God’s power and strength, as we seek His face, we’re all good.

I Should Have Been Cut Down…

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Do you ever look back on the life you’ve led and wonder how you’re still here? Do you think of mercy and grace, and want to absolutely crumple under the weight of your own regretful tears? I was reading in Luke this morning when I came across this. 

Luke 13:6-9New International Version (NIV)

6 Then he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree growing in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it but did not find any. 7 So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’
8 “‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. 9 If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’”

Immediately my mind flashed back in time, many years ago. The funny thing about time is how something can seem a lifetime away, but simultaneously the memory of it can be so fresh it’s as if it were yesterday. I can still easily recall the way my hands uselessly gripped the steering wheel as it ripped around and out of my grasp. My head slung backwards as I realized I was in a multitude of revolutions. Darkness was all around, and torrents of heavy rain pelted the windows of my tiny car. Even in my deep state of alcohol-induced inebriation I understood one thing very clearly. I had hydroplaned, lost control of my vehicle, and there was no way of gaining it back. Within city limits, with houses and buildings all around, yet surprisingly not another car, I caught flashes of street lamps muted by windows of blurred water while my car spun violent three-sixties off the road. I tried in vain to hold the runaway steering wheel, and my drunken, yet frightened mind wondered in slow motion if I was supposed to turn against the wet skid like you would if you hit ice. I didn’t know, but I knew this. 

I’m going to die. 

That was the main theme that ran below the steady current of adrenaline and drunken fear. My time had come, and surprisingly I felt calm as I careened to my imminent death. I believe it was the acceptance that I was getting what I rightfully deserved. I knew better than to drive drunk, and despite what I told myself when I grabbed the keys (you’re fine, silly), I knew at that moment, as my life flashed before my eyes, that I deserved to die by my own hand for my stupid actions. I even had the thought to whisper a thank you that no other innocent driver was in my path of destruction. 

I knew God. I even knew His love for me. He had planted His Holy Spirit in my heart, yet I had turned my back on Him. I had allowed the disappointments I faced in this world to hamper my relationship with Him. I had sought fulfillment and healing beyond His hand, and even though each day ended with me empty, and each new morning began with my conviction and regret, I still couldn’t believe I was good enough to return to His side. Heck, I think honestly the sinful part of my nature didn’t want to. 

I was producing zero fruit, and my King had every right to cut me down. I knew His glory, but I disregarded His will. I knew His sacrifice, but I walked in opposition of His gifts for my life. I had been saved by grace, yet I took it for granted. I deserved to be cut down. I should have been cut down! But He decided to give me another year. 

Spinning, spinning, spinning. The tiny car just kept spinning, but then suddenly it was not. 

Am I dead? I had wondered for a moment. 

I inhaled deeply, and then I exhaled just as much. I was alive. I got out of my vehicle, and the rain poured like evidence from Heaven that I could still feel the world around me. I don’t think I had truly felt it for some time. My car sat stationary in someone’s yard, between a large oak and a towering power pole. No ding or scratch was on my vehicle, and the only evidence anything was amiss was a sprig of pulled grass stuck in my hubcap. My body was whole, but my soul was shaken. I had deserved to be taken away in a body bag, but I stood in the pouring rain miraculously alive. 


A year later I was producing fruit. It might have been slim pickings, but it was something. I had turned an about face from the life of self-destruction that surrounded me the night I lost control of my car. It wasn’t just the vehicle’s trajectory that was outside of my power. Some would have labeled me a lost cause, but not my God. He saw the potential in me. He knew my heart. He called me back into His arms. I look back on my past life and I want to cry with shame. It’s not condemnation I feel. It’s simply sorrow over so much wasted time that I could have been living for Jesus, producing fruit. Although I do weep at times over the mistakes I made, I would say that mostly my tears are those of gladness and gratitude that the Lord never gave up on me. He should have, but He didn’t. It’s true that nothing in this world can take us from Him. It may blind us to His goodness, it may distance us from His glory, but it can never take us from His grasp. 

Romans 8:38

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

A Beginner’s Guide: How I Drew Closer to God

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I’ll start by saying I’m no expert on spiritual matters. In fact, I’m quick to call myself a work in progress. I haven’t arrived at some divine place in my walk with God, my face doesn’t shine like Moses, and I foul up on the daily. So anything I share isn’t from some pedestal place of my creating. I just want to chat about how I went from point A to point B in my life as a Christian. I know without a doubt there’s a point C, D, and beyond that I strive for, but looking back over just the past decade of my life I am blown away. I am a different Brie in 2017 than I was in 2007, and of most importance is the truth that I didn’t change on my own. It was for sure divine intervention, but it also didn’t occur overnight. It’s matured a little each day, over time, and I thought someone might like to hear how. 

When I look back over the past eight years or so I can pinpoint certain decisions I made in life that I believe helped me to grow closer to the Lord. When you’ve created a distance between yourself and God, or perhaps when there’s a chasm related to sin, it’s not a gap that can be closed all at once. Asking Jesus for forgiveness and turning from sin is a really good start, but it also involves a daily decision to keep walking in that. So I guess you could say my journey back to God initially began with the decision to stop doing the things that I felt separated me from His presence. You never stop sinning, and every day of my life the Lord reveals to me new ways I can improve, but it has to start somewhere. My start began with absolutely stopping the actions I knew weren’t pleasing to Him. 

Reflecting backwards over the past six years or so one of the biggest actions I feel like I made to draw closer to the Lord was spending time with Him. It started when I took a job where I had to work every Sunday. I was so worried my relationship with the Lord would suffer since I’d be missing church on Sunday that I made the extra effort to seek Him all during the week. Every day I made the time to read my Bible, read devotions, pray, listen, and worship. I’ve done this every single day for at least six years now. I don’t think you can spend quiet time with the Lord, read scripture every day, pray it over yourself, and not be impacted by that. 


I also changed the type of things I let into my mind. I changed the books I read. I changed the movies I watched. I even changed the music I listened to. I’ve always been a person who really enjoyed music, but around 5-6 years ago I decided to take a 30 day challenge a Christian radio station suggested. In that timeframe I only listened to Christian music. After that I felt so good that I kept it going indefinitely. I’ll stop here to say that I love and appreciate all forms of music, and I never judge or think less of anyone who listens to secular music. We all do what we think is best for ourselves and our family. For my family we do not listen to secular music. I’m typically lost on social media when people do parodies or spoofs of a popular song. Lol. 

I also opened up the line of communication. I didn’t just reserve praying for meals and bedtime. I didn’t just pray when I wanted healing or help. I did pray for my needs and those of others, but I also praised the Lord for my blessings throughout the day. When I woke up I told him good morning, and when I liked my shower I told Him so. I worshiped in the kitchen while cooking supper, and I took advantage of semi-quiet times on the road as an opportunity to listen. Over time as you open your heart, speak to God about everything, and see His hand in it all, you begin to just chat with Him on the daily. It’s not to say God isn’t mighty and deserving of our reverence, but it is to say that He’s not some unapproachable, angry guy in the sky. He’s a Father who cares about our needs, all our needs, and loves to hear us tell Him all about it. As you make a point to talk to God more about your daily life you find that you create this open communication line that is just there. It’s like you never hang up the phone. He’s always on call, and the fact is you can’t talk to someone all day and not be close!

Last week I looked up at the sky and I said, “oh God, those clouds are beautiful!” Then it struck me that they had been beautiful the day before too. But also the day before that. And the day before that. And what about that sunset I last saw?! I wondered, did the sky just start becoming so lovely recently, or did I just start noticing it more? I felt like I just so happened to come to a place where I enjoyed it more. I was able to open my eyes and see the gifts from God in everything. I was able to see it in the beauty of nature, the health of my family, but also even in the circumstances of life that didn’t always work out as I had hoped. I was able to understand that God held control of all things, so even when things didn’t seem to work out, really they did. Because of Him. I think we’re all born to be optimists, seeing the glass half full. It’s the world that taints us. Being filled with hope, persisting in faith, and trusting in all circumstances has given me a positive outlook I never had before. It doesn’t mean my life is always perfect. It just means I know God is. 

I think it’s important to add this. Nothing we do in and of itself creates this relationship with Jesus. It’s not our actions that create our salvation. It just is. It’s a relationship of redemption and grace that awaits our acceptance, and other than agreeing that yes, you want it, there’s no other magical formula you must follow to achieve the fullness that walking with God supplies. I’m not trying to get into a theological debate on the steps to Salvation. That’s not what this blog is about. I’m going to assume that those seeking to draw closer to Jesus have received the gift of eternal life. My point is that I’m not trying to say our actions make this relationship. They don’t; His grace does. This is just me sharing how my relationship has deepened over time. I made purposeful decisions to seek His face and I think that helps. I’m grateful for the relationship I enjoy with Jesus, but if a recent trial with anxiety and depression has taught me anything it has taught me that I am powerless. I don’t have control of my life, nor do I hold the key to peace. I am humbled to realize that although I’m far from where I was a decade ago that I still have not arrived to the fullness of what He has for me. I’m reminded of this fabulous verse. 

Philippians 3

 12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I’m not there yet, but I press on. I’m just grateful I decided to participate in the race. Because when you’re running with God it doesn’t seem like a rat race or rush of a chaotic life that is spinning out of control. You still get weary, but there’s always a place to find rest. 

A Letter for My Daughter About Salvation

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Dearest Daughter,

You asked me today, “now that I’m saved does that mean I can’t sin anymore?”

And I answered you in the best way I knew. The truth. 

“That’s not possible, baby.” I said. 

I went on to explain, and you seemed to truly understand, but I know I didn’t tell you everything. There’s just so much to say, and much of it you will learn as you go. Like most of us. 

Many folks, just like you, think that once they’ve asked Jesus into their heart that they’re supposed to be perfect. There’s a misconception that some miraculous change immediately takes place in your life, but that’s not how God works. The only perfect person who ever lived, and who will ever be was the one who died for your sins. The rest of us take a bit of refining. Or actually, a lot of refining. 

The thing is, Jesus doesn’t expect you to be without fault. He just wants you to accept His sacrifice with a grateful heart. He wants your love and your willingness to try and see things from His perspective. The cool part is that each time you work to see with your Jesus glasses on, the more you’ll start to have His vision on a daily basis. 

I want you to know that what you have right now is a gift. Salvation is your prize, and now that you’ve claimed it you just need to walk in it. Your salvation means you’re free. You’re no longer a prisoner to sin, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be tempted by sin. It doesn’t mean you won’t fall to sin. It just means that you’re forgiven. 

It’s important to remember that God is your Heavenly Father, and much like you listen to me and your dad because you love us, so too do you work to please God. You don’t obey Him because you have to now that you’re saved. You obey Him because you love Him. 

The awesome part is that this is the beginning of a really beautiful thing for you. Each morning when I look at you sleeping I pray. I pray for you to grow in grace and beauty, but most importantly to grow in your relationship with Christ. This personal relationship you’ve entered into is an epic journey. On this trek you don’t have to be afraid for you are never alone. The joy of the Lord is your strength, and each day you walk with Jesus is one step closer to the person you were meant to be. 

You see, before He even formed you inside my body, He knew you. He knew the sound of your laughter, and even that unique notch on your left ear. He knew your favorite food, and He knew your most special, secret dreams. Before you were even born! He created you, He placed desires within you, and He has wonderful plans for you. Each day is a journey through the specific pages of your story. And along the way you will learn so much and be made even lovelier than you are if you listen closely for His voice to speak to your heart. Remember, you are not alone. 

A life with Jesus doesn’t mean you won’t fall, but it does mean He will pick you up. It doesn’t mean you’ll never hurt, but He will comfort you. It doesn’t mean you’ll never face challenges, but He will provide a way for you. He will never leave you or forsake you. 

In this world you’ll feel pulled. The pleasures and worries of this world will try to pull you from His presence. Don’t let it; stay close to Him. Never believe for a moment that this world defines you. You are not what others say you are. You are a princess. A child of the One True King. Don’t forget it. 

When the world says you can’t, listen to His voice. If He says you can, then you will. The most important thing to remember is this isn’t all up to you. I mean, yes, you need to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your strength, but perfection isn’t a price you have to pay. You didn’t earn this gift of salvation thus far, and you don’t have to work for it even now. You just have to receive this great grace that He freely gives. The rest? You’ll get the hang of it. 
I think you’ll find that when you serve the Lord (a service of love, mind you) that although life isn’t perfect, it is wonderful. It’s full of joy and amazing gifts He presents along the way when we have eyes to see and hearts to receive. His blessings, after all, are new each morning. Taste and see. 

Enjoy your walk, my love. 

In Him,

Mom

When God Rescued Me

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It occurred to me that I had never really shared my testimony on this blog, just bits and pieces of my story as they came. My story is one of saving grace like so many others, but the logistics still amaze me. So many times I’m in shock and awe that God took the time to rescue me, and though I didn’t deserve it at all, He did. 

      
There’s two types of basic Christianity in this world. There’s the kind where you believe John 3:16 and go to church on Sunday, and then there’s the kind where you walk with Jesus like a friend. It’s this love relationship that picks you up and changes your whole life, and that’s the kind of “religion” that saved me. I guess God had a plan for me right from the start. After all, that’s what scripture says. And since He knew me in my momma’s womb it’s no surprise that He orchestrated the events in my life from day one. 

Knowing that an atheist for a father wasn’t what a child needed, and knowing a present father figure to model our Abba God was what I required, He set in motion the events to lead me to His love. 

Years later, despite finally having a loving, adoptive dad and hearing the Salvation Story for the first time, the Lord knew His child would need a bit more. Wounded by rejection and problems of this world, He knew I needed more than simple Sunday services. 

So He called me into relationship. 

As with many stubborn human beings it took me a while, or perhaps His perfect timing knew when I would be most receptive. It just so happened that for me I had to hit a rock bottom place to find His saving grace. At nineteen I had to feel an emotion of complete emptiness to call out for His spirit to fill me, and naturally He answered my request. 

At college age I learned that the reverent, pale-faced, long-haired man depicted in the photographs could be more than just a name I said during a disconnected prayer. I discovered He could be my friend, my confidant, and as I devoured the scriptures I learned of His honest to goodness love for me. 

A real love, the greatest story ever told. An unconditional affection for me. A love that was worth dying for, even when I didn’t feel like I was worth it at all. A love that loved me despite my many faults, my past, or anything else for that matter. How wonderous. 

He stitched together a broken heart from a father who abandoned me. He taught me to forgive even those who hurt me. He healed me of Epilepsy. And He showed me how to hear His voice in the stillness of my heart. Oh, the miracles I observed both in this country and abroad (that’s a story for another day).

But like many out there I guess I couldn’t always believe I was special. I couldn’t see myself through His eyes. I didn’t hold myself to the standard He set for me, turned a blind eye to the life He had in store. I allowed the devil to deceit me, thinking God didn’t have His best for little ole me. I’d just find my own way. After a lifetime of hurt, my destiny was safer in my hands. Or so I believed. 

I spent ten years running from God. Have you ever done that? It’s exhausting. The thing is your soul always longs for a Savior, and when you try to fill your cup with anything less it’s just pointless. But I sure tried. 

Think of the most promiscuous, drunken dame you can imagine. That was me. Consider a woman without standards, pride in her own sacred body, or a confidence in her inner beauty. Guilty as charged. It’s only by His mercy and grace (that I certainly didn’t deserve) that I am not either unemployed, in jail, or dead. After all, I tempted fate more times than I can count, and I shudder to think. 

Who do you think was watching my life with sadness and disappointment yet unconditional, unchanged love the entire time I ran defiantly? Who do you think knew my mistakes before I made them, yet used them to bring me back? Who do you think let me fall, by my own making, yet picked me up and dusted me off?

Jesus. Oh, sweet Jesus. 

After a decade of emptiness I finally let Him hold me. Instead of turning away I faced forward with tears of regret, and He wiped them away. He still wipes them away. 

He forgave me for living life outside His will, and He brought me back full circle to the place He had all along. Yet He wasn’t done. I still don’t think He’s done. 

As I turn my eyes to the Lord, seeking His face I am found blessed. My blessings are so abundant it brings me to my knees. A lump of emotion blocks my throat, and I struggle to find the words that mean more than a simple thank you. 

My life isn’t perfect. It isn’t without problems or strife. But it is wonderful. It is wonderful because of Jesus. I can face anything when He holds my hand, and after living life twice without His counsel and Holy Spirit I can honestly say I can’t imagine a daily walk without my best friend at my side. 

He heals hurts, opens eyes, and gives a purpose to my existence. An empty feeling is an awful thing, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. There is so much that Jesus can be in our lives, certainly more than simple religion can convey. I am grateful He knew me then, that He knows me now, but most importantly, that I know Him always.