Brie Gowen

Savor the Essence of Life

Is Your Christianity a Slogan or a Lifestyle?

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This morning on the way to work a beautiful worship song came on. The lyrics were simple, yet the weight of the words on my heart was anything but. Tears came to my eyes, overcome, I prayed in the Spirit. As I prayed, I saw a vision.

A faceless person in a riverbed, the water rising and rushing past. The current raised above the person’s head, until they bobbled along, treading water, while lifting their mouth and nose to the sky to suck in much needed breath. Just when it seemed to be too much, the waters receded, and what was left was a person glimmering. Little sparkles of light emanating from their body.

I felt the Lord speak to my heart, “my Spirit is like a rushing river, flooding your soul. Much like my consuming fire, my living water engulfs those who thirst for it. The engulfing process isn’t easy; it feels like you will drown. But in the end, you can shine my glory to the world.”

I thought of my own life. Now, I’m certainly not gleaming! I don’t sparkle like a character from the Twilight series. But I do desire my life to shine the light of God’s love, for His glory to be evident in my life. And over the past few years, drawing closer to the Lord, asking for His Spirit and Truth, I had felt the distress of going under. When the thoughts you’ve always held are challenged, it’s kinda painful. I mean, it’s much easier to stay put on comfortable dry land, secure in the mindset you’ve always known. But is that what God has for us?

I’ll never presume to tell someone how their relationship with Jesus should go, but for myself, I wanted more! He says, “my thoughts are not your thoughts,” but I didn’t want to completely throw my hands up for knowing His heart. I dove into scripture, and I encountered a Savior who started to make me question the status quo. I looked at the behavior of Jesus, and then I held that up to the behavior of us all as followers of His way. It’s not to say I expected anyone (especially me) to reach this level Christ had, but I did recall Him saying “we could be perfect since He is perfect.” And right before these words, He had been speaking of His love. Therefore, I set out to emulate His teachings. Kinda like the old, WWJD, but a lifestyle rather than a marketed slogan.

Now, let me tell you, when you start questioning behavior of the church in relation to Christ’s teachings, you really piss people off. And nothing made the situation more convoluted than American politics. Did anyone ever wonder if the politicians were playing us?!

Your faith is called into question if you can’t actively support immoral behavior in leadership, a heretic for suggesting we separate our political leanings from our serving Jesus (since conservative candidates don’t automatically equal Christ-like), and a liberal for caring about the lives of immigrants or LGBTQIA. It hurts my heart that our Christianity is important enough to impact our political leanings, but not important enough that we demand moral behavior of our leaders. Or that we demand moral behaviors of those outside of the church, but not of ourselves. It’s as if suggesting God loves the sinner, the citizens of countries other than America, or justice and real equality for all is needed, it makes you a trader to Christianity.

The problem was, the disconnect between the average American Christian’s belief system versus the life of Jesus. I mean, we all agreed He was our Savior, but when it came to how we should treat other people, it grew more gray. Even though He tells us the most important commandment. To love the Lord your God with all your heart, and to love others as yourself. To even love our enemy!

You can hold a Bible in the air for a camera all you want, but if you’re going to put the name “Christ,” in your label of belief (Christian), shouldn’t you maybe try and do what He said? And didn’t Jesus say we’d know God by knowing Him? And didn’t He also say, by your fruit they will know you are mine? So, isn’t a huge part of our faith knowing His character and then displaying that for others so they can know it too?!

It’s like, shortly after the formation of the original church (set forth by Jesus), we started inserting our own ideas of how it should go. Many of the letters from Paul to the early church address this. This desire to keep following the law when Christ had abolished our chains to this harsh system we could never achieve. Yet even today, we expect certain boxes to be checked, certain sins to be avoided (while others are ignored), certain sides to stay firmly on in regards to particular platforms, and certain candidates to vote for cause they’re standing on that particular sideline. Whether they’re wearing sheep’s clothing doesn’t matter when you place more weight on culture than Christ.

To question these things isn’t looked upon well, but should we not always be evaluating our heart motives to God’s heart? If we want to claim a religion that follows Jesus, shouldn’t we love as He loves? Shouldn’t we walk in empathy for others? Should we not care for those who need us? There are so many scriptures on this, so why aren’t we giving up “our cloak as well?”

Why do we focus on things of this world, when the Lord calls us to focus on Heavenly things? Why do we worry about what we will eat, or put our surplus in stores for it to rust?

When did we forget salt and light means showing the love of Jesus, not placing ourselves on a pedestal?

When did we mistake the call of Christians to serve others as a decision to only look out for our own?

I could go on and on. Remember when I said I definitely don’t gleam? It’s true. I’m just a work in progress, much like we all are, but I desire to shine with His glory! Not because I must do it to gain His love, but I want to do it because of His love freely given. This love that He asks us to freely give also. It’s hard, y’all. It’s hard to lay down pride, to lay down judgment, and to lay down offense. It’s a daily surrender, but I would encourage anyone, who wants to be engulfed by His Spirit, to seek Him. Read the words in red, the words of Jesus, and ask yourself in all humility if your Christianity is simply a slogan, or is it a lifestyle.

How Christianity is Missing the Harvest

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In reading my Bible this morning a verse really stuck out to me. It’s like the words zoomed off the page, and I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking those words just for me at that moment.

I think of that old song by The Byrds, Turn, Turn, Turn, where they sing, “there is a time for every purpose, under heaven.” Taken from the 3rd Book of Ecclesiastes, the words basically explain that every event in our lives is for a purpose. Even the hard ones. If ever there was a season that I would question its purpose, it would probably be this one. There have been hundreds of memes joking about the horrible year that was 2020, and we laugh. But I think most of us laughed to keep from crying.

Whether you want to quote The Byrds or the original author, likely Solomon, the verse/lyrics tell us, there’s a time to weep (which I did a lot the last year), a time to laugh (which thankfully I continued to do). It also says there’s a time to plant (which I try to do daily), but also a time to reap (which brings me back to the beginning of this whole thing).

John 4:34-35
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. 35 Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.

Ripe for the harvest. Y’all, I believe our country is ripe for a harvest.

The conversation in John 4 takes place between Jesus and His disciples right after He’s spoken to the Samaritan woman at the well. This is significant in the fact that Jesus just told this woman a time was coming when she wouldn’t have to go to the mountain or Jerusalem (to the temple) to worship. Jesus tells her that His Father is seeking worshippers who will worship Him in Spirit and Truth. He lets her know that time is coming, and it’s coming through Him. As a Samaritan and a woman she’s been “unworthy” according to the religious leaders, but the Messiah arrives to rock the foundations of the Law and to tear the temple curtain in half. Meaning, people like the sinner at the well are welcome to seek forgiveness and eternal life as much as anyone else.

Over the years (since the arrival of Christ), the enemy has come to distort the message of Salvation, and he’s often come under the guise of religious law. If you’re looking for the devil, you won’t find him in a bar or strip club. You’ll find him in the church, whispering his lies softly to those who will listen. You can look back in history at the destruction of mankind in the name of the Lord, and each time after Satan has used man to destroy the message of love and forgiveness, the Holy Spirit has raised up purveyors of truth to heal the rift zealotry has left in its wake.

I believe we are in a period of time where Jesus is calling purveyors of His truth to rise.

Open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest!

I don’t want to save people! Only Jesus does that. But I do want to show people the healing that can be found only in His love. I want to offer freedom to the captives and daily success through this troubled world.

Boy, is this world troubled. The pain, loss, and hatred of 2020 has planted open, hungry hearts in the center of mankind. The ground has been made soft by this past year. I don’t believe God gave us COVID to judge mankind, but I do believe He can use it to draw His children into His loving arms.

So, how does one reap in a season of harvest?

I’ll tell you how NOT to reap.

We will never reap by an Us versus Them mentality.

We will never reap by separating ourselves from those who need us the most.

We won’t reap by ignoring the reality of racial inequality and injustice, simply because it makes us uncomfortable to admit it still exists.

We cannot reap when we close ourselves off in a church building, with a sign of rules posted outside the door.

We cannot reap by placing politics at the forefront of our purposes.

We cannot reap when our hope is in who is elected to the oval office, rather than who is the King of Kings.

We cannot reap when we ignore the sins of pride, rage, hatred, or malice, while only focusing on the sins of homosexuality or abortion.

We cannot reap when we speak words of division and anger, rather than words of kindness and love.

We cannot reap when we publicly bicker with fellow believers on social media who have differing opinions.

Do you love Jesus? Do you believe He died for our sins so we might have eternal life?

If the answers are yes and yes, then we as the church of Christianity should stand united to reap.

Who did you vote for? Are you a Republican or a Democrat?

These are the questions that distract us from the ripe fields.

There’s a wind of deception blowing through our land. Why do you think that is?

The Father seeks those who will worship Him in Spirit and Truth.

Satan seeks to divide, deceive, and distract.

I believe we have come to a season of harvesting. I believe for many Christians it’s a time to turn, turn, turn.

To turn away from political entanglements. To turn away from a deceiving Religious Spirit that whispers anything other than the Saving Grace of Jesus!

We are in a season of harvesting, but many of the “workers” are trying too hard to separate the wheat from the chaff. This is not our job, gang. The Messiah decides what needs to be gathered into the barn and what gets thrown into the fire. I fear many think too highly of their position as wheat, and I certainly don’t want to be told by my Savior to depart, that He never knew me.

So, how do we successfully reap in this season?

We reap by reading our Bible more and our social media feeds less.

We reap by seeking the truth of the Holy Spirit, not by seeking truth in the media or on YouTube.

We reap by loving God with all our heart, and not giving the best of ourselves to our politics.

We reap by loving our neighbor as ourselves, not by saying “we gotta take care of our own first.”

We reap by laying down pride, by turn, turn, turning from self-righteous indignation.

We reap by admitting where we have been wrong.

We reap by modeling forgiveness. Y’all, I’ve been working on this one. My heart hurts from religious friends who told me I wasn’t a “true Christian” when I questioned if Donald Trump was the best representative for Christianity. I have had to lay down my offense over and over, understanding it’s not about me. It’s about doing His will. In the verses above in John, Jesus said his food was to do the will of His Father.

We need more of that! We’re getting a bellyache lately from filling up on worldly food, making ourselves sick on politics and conspiracy theories. We cannot reap if our diet is unhealthy! We must feed on His truth, His bread of life, and His living water. I am certain we will never find those foods stocked on the shelves of this world.

We reap by loving first. Loving God, and loving others. The “others” here includes those who think different than you, look different than you, vote different than you, and live different than you. If you’re interested in being in a “Saved Club” where you and your closest friends get to go to Heaven, then by all means, continue the work you’ve been doing. But if you desire to truly open your eyes and see the field, then I encourage you to step away from the worldly distraction. Step away from the law, and step into His grace. Step into the neighborhoods, lifestyles, and groups you sneer at, and join the Father in showing EVERYONE the way home.

What Really Caused the Shooting in Virginia Beach?

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I was standing in a patient’s room waiting for him to take his medicine when I saw the breaking news story on TV about the shooting in Virginia Beach. I stood in slack-jawed shock as the pictures of the victims appeared on the screen with their name and years of public service.

40 years, one caption read. I felt like I would cry. A man who had worked in the same job for forty years would not report to work Monday. For some reason that hit me hard. I knew neither he nor his family dreamed his day would end in tragedy. The senselessness of the murder of so many people, simply doing their job (much like I was doing at the time), hurt my heart. It also made me consider how easily something like this could happen, to anyone. There you are passing medicines, answering a phone, ringing up items on a cash register, or turning a screwdriver when bam, life as you know it here on earth ends. Your family is left to pick up the pieces, and the world is left to try and figure out why.

Why did the gunman shoot those people?

I don’t have to keep watching the news to guess the hypotheses that will be drawn. “Experts” will pipe in with their educated guess on what happened to cause the psychological break of this individual. Or political hopefuls with hidden agendas will feign empathy as they elevate their particular platform cause as the instigation behind such tragedy. They’ll all be wrong. Sure, some issues may aggravate the situation, but there’s no need to try and weigh nurture versus nature if you refuse to look at the real root cause.

It’s not gun laws or how long one has to wait for a handgun. It’s not poverty or socioeconomic constraints. It’s not mental health access problems coupled by lack of insurance issues. It’s not a failing judicial system or problems with a building’s security. That’s not the cause. Sure, these are problems, and many of these can be improved upon. But it’s the issue we ignore that’s at the base of tragedies like today.

See, it’s not just yesterday’s shooting. As I was reading an article about the VA Beach shooting one sad fact stuck out to me. The article stated this to be “the United States’ worse mass shooting since November.” It wasn’t that it was the worst (although that’s horrible), but rather that it was the worst (only) since November. Meaning that a similar tragedy had occurred just half a year prior. That’s sad.

Have you noticed that mass shootings seem more common? Have you noticed school shootings on the rise in the past fifteen years? What about human trafficking, for that matter? Abuse, violence, even child abduction? It seems to me that things I must worry with about my children’s safety weren’t as much a concern for my parents. Times have changed, people say, and it certainly seems true. You could argue that we know more now than we did fifty years ago. With social media, cable news channels, and the internet we have a heightened awareness of the world at large. I suppose that is certainly true, but I tend to believe that the root problem has multiplied. I mean, the Bible has warned us for years it would.

Today, as I prayed about how I should write on this topic, I felt the Lord impress some wisdom into my heart. Wisdom that needs to be shared.

I felt like God said, “you have to stop denying the existence of evil among you.”

Have you ever read the Old Testament?! Talk about evil! They frequently threw their kids into the fire as a sacrifice to Molech. I mean, can you say crazy?! But are we any better now? We can easily look back at Biblical child sacrifice and proclaim, “that’s evil!” That’s demonic, for sure! Am I right? Yet since 1973 well over 54 million babies have been sacrificed legally. Evil exists today, but we call it things like progress or human rights. Now, that’s not to say I’m implying that people who have an abortion are evil. I’m not! But I do believe it is the powers of darkness that tell us murder isn’t murder or sin isn’t sin. See, evil nowadays has become more tricky. It disguises itself as something else. We don’t even think about words like evil or the devil.

First, realize that I’m not giving Satan power by blaming him for tragedy among us. Rather, I am recognizing the battle we face in this world. We aren’t fighting terrorists, human traffickers, shooters, or child molesters. I mean, we do battle those particular outlets of evil in the flesh, but we must also recognize the spiritual significance of the problems we come against. It’s not guns or an unwanted pregnancy that causes death and destruction anymore than it was a flame that caused the sacrificial burning of children by the Canaanites. Yes, fire killed the kids, but Satan was the real principality behind the bull statue/idol. Yes, a gun ripped through the victims in VA Beach, and it was a man who fired the weapon, but who do you think influenced his actions? You could blame his parents, I suppose, but where did the chain of abuse begin? What is it we’re really fighting? What is the root cause of tragedy and death?

Is it a chemical imbalance that causes a man to rape an eighteen month old child? Maybe it’s a tough upbringing. No, it’s pure evil. What else can make people do some of the heinous things they do if not demonic influence?

But people don’t like to talk about Satan. It makes them feel silly cause they can’t see him. They picture the old cartoon drawings of the red skin and pointy horns, forked tail and a sinister grin with matching, curly mustache. Of course they feel silly blaming a caricature. But if you believe in God, and you believe in the Bible, then you must follow the warnings of Jesus about the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Yes, there are bad people out there, but recognize what power is influencing their life.

We see atrocities over the past few decades that once only existed in less civilized countries. Do you wonder why terrorism, rampant crime, and sadistic abuse now dominate your news feed? It’s not just because bad news sells. It’s because a country that once primarily served God has turned its back on Him. We no longer exist under the hedge of His protection like we once did. His faithful remnant remain, but evil will make its last rise before Jesus prevails once and for all. This has been prophesied, so don’t be surprised.

What can we do about this evil? If we can understand and believe that it’s not merely flesh and blood we battle, but principalities and powers of darkness, then we must stand for good. We must be the light. When we can stop hiding our heads in the sand and blaming guns, bad neighborhoods, or video games we will be able to stand firm in the spirit of truth.

We must take seriously our role in spreading God’s truth. 90% of the population lives its own little life with little thought to the eternal existence of those around them. We have forgotten The Great Commission. We think it’s up to those called to ministry or the mission field to tell folks about Jesus. Do you go about your day and never make a single positive impact for God’s kingdom? It’s this world that suffers from Christian complacency and comfort. We usher in evil when we do nothing. Let that sink in.

We need to be on our knees praying for people’s souls, but also opening our ears to how God may use us to lead people to Him. We must stand firm against evil by being the salt of the earth. We must walk in goodness, stand for truth, fight for the innocent, and ready our armor against evil. Read the Bible to be aware, open your eyes to spiritual warfare around you, and claim victory in Jesus name. The angel warriors of God gain strength through prayers of the saints. That’s you!

We need to be giving to our church and ministries that spread the love of Jesus, but we also gotta show that same love in our everyday interactions with others. The best roadmap to salvation for someone is watching your life. Not everyone will attend church with you, but they will watch how you react to conflict or treat a coworker.

We must stand up for what is right. We must not bury our heads in the sand or hide in our prayer closets. Yes, we must continuously intercede through prayerful petition, but the world also needs a dose of truth to know the way. We can’t expect them to simply find it on their own. Road to Damascus moments don’t happen everyday. God is counting on us to be the voice of reason, eye-opener, and best example of Christ’s love.

We cannot keep living life oblivious. We can’t keep marching to the own drum of our perfect little lives, ignoring the plight of this world, shaking our head and saying, “that’s so sad,” but then heading out to LongHorn for a steak dinner, never letting distant tragedy cross our minds again. Instead we’ll complain over slow service from the waiter and give a crappy tip while we wear our “I just need coffee and Jesus” T-shirt. No, sister. You need to show people Jesus. Just saying.

What really caused the shooting of innocent employees in VA Beach? I’ll give you a hint. It wasn’t just the over abundant rage of a disgruntled employee whose daddy whipped him as a child. It was the same root cause behind all things that try and stand against the goodness of God. It was evil. Plain and simple.

Why do things like this continue to happen, but also at an alarmingly high rate? Because we, God’s people, are doing nothing about the root cause. We’re being overly distracted by politics and numerous other side notes. Guess what? Distraction is from the devil too. It’s true.

Evil takes root when good hides its light under a bowl. Evil rears it’s head when good people do nothing. Evil stands tall when we bunker down in fear. Evil multiplies when we allow it.

So what really caused the Virginia Beach shooting? Maybe it’s us. Maybe we did.

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Airing Your Dirty Laundry on Facebook

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Social media is a great place to connect with friends, keep up to date on community news, and meet new people. Some folks enjoy sharing pictures of their children while other people use the platform to share selfies. Lots of people gain recipes, style tips, and information about real developing news stories (if you can wade past the fake ones). Facebook in particular can be a place of inspiration and prayer networking, but it can also be an outlet for ugly emotional outbursts and too much drama. 

We’re all probably guilty of speaking too quickly when posting an update, and it’s hard not to with the loaded question of “what’s on your mind,” but perhaps some forethought could benefit everyone. 

So here’s 3 questions to ask yourself before airing your dirty laundry on Facebook.

1. Why? Seriously. It’s a simple question. So simple that it’s the most easily ignored. 

Why am I posting this? I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’ve been pushed, so now I want to push back. Well, what purpose does that truly serve?

Will hurting someone else make me feel better? Will pointing out the faults of another suddenly make my own issues disappear?

It’s easy to react in anger and lash out vehemently, but when it comes down to it, what purpose does it serve? Ugly people are going to be ugly no matter what. Seeing that they’ve hurt you is not suddenly going to bring them to repentance. If they’re just plain mean it will probably only fuel their cruel nature to see that their actions bother you enough to tell all of your friends’ list about it. 

Would I have the nerve to say this in person? It’s easy to hide behind a computer screen. If your words wouldn’t feel comfortable coming out of your mouth at a table with friends then it shouldn’t come out on a status update either. 

But when it comes down to it, why is all you have to ask. Why? Is speaking hurtful things going to make your own hurt vanish? If the answer is no then perhaps it’s not worth your time.  

2. Will I regret this later? I can’t count the number of times I have decided to speak out of my emotions and within moments regretted it. I’ve probably deleted a dozen Facebook posts over the past year. It’s easy to rant out of frustration, but don’t let your emotions rule you. 

Do I really want to say something so vile about another person?

If you’re speaking about your child’s other parent, ask yourself if you’d want your kid to see your words. If not then it’s a safe bet that you shouldn’t post it. 

Do I really mean that?

My children are a perfect example. Some days they drive me crazy, and I think some awful words in my head, but I keep them there in my mind. Why? Because I don’t mean it, and I don’t want to hurt them. 

Words are more powerful than anything, and they can cut like a knife. Ask yourself if you seriously wish to forever wound someone with your words. And if the answer is yes then I would ask you to revert back to question #1, why. Why do you wish to hurt someone when it serves no purpose other than to drag yourself further down?

3. Does this truly represent me? It’s so easy to share your personal business on Facebook when you’re angry and you wish to speak loudly your frustrations over other’s mistakes. If you have been wrongfully accused it’s even easier to want to feel vindicated from the blame, but take a moment to consider how your words look to others. 

Most people will immediately bristle at that last sentence, and state strongly, “I don’t care what people think!” Well, that’s good. I mean, overall you shouldn’t care, but we all know life isn’t that simple. In a way you do have to care. If you’re a Christian then you especially need to be concerned. 

I can’t speak for everyone, I can only speak for me. Personally, as a Christian I realize my witness is important. My words and actions represent my position as a member of God’s family. They need to be seasoned with patience, love, and the light of Jesus. 

Ouch! I miss the mark frequently on that one, but I strive for consistent improvement. 

Even if you don’t consider yourself a representative of God’s kingdom, you still stand for something. Your actions reflect on your family, your job, and even your reputation as a kind, dependable human being. 

Always ask yourself if the words you speak would serve as a good example of who you are overall. If not then keep them to yourself. Cool down. Spend some time in thoughtful consideration before you share every single emotional outburst that crosses your mind. 

After some time you may see that your words would really serve no useful purpose. They might hurt your enemies, but in the long run they would hurt you more. 

The biggest person in the room is the one who can hold their tongue. The most respected, strong individual is the one who can remain silent in the face of unjust treatment, and trust in the fact that what goes around always comes around. That’s the truth. 

So don’t let the devil use your mouth for his handiwork, but instead let Jesus shine through your life. And if none of that makes any sense to you then just consider that perhaps it’s inappropriate and many people may not want to read your dirty laundry in the first place. 

As always, this is spoken with love, not judgement. 

Happy posting. 

What Pregnant Women Need to Hear

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I think we’re all aware that the world around us has changed dramatically over the last sixty years or so, and for the most part I would say that’s a good thing. Technology, equality, opportunity, and the overall ability to pursue happiness and the all American Dream has advanced and become easier to take hold of. The role of women alone has come a long way, and the female’s desire to be taken seriously in the workplace has really started to take shape. Feminists everywhere rejoice. Yippee. 

I am all about moving forward and being taken seriously as an intelligent, professional woman, but in the quest to become equals it’s been neglected that we are different from men. And I don’t think any area proclaims this more clearly than a woman’s ability to bear children. I mean, seriously, that kind of sets us apart from our male counterparts, but in a span of decades where women have wished to be seen just as strong as a man the sheer miraculous occurrence of carrying and growing a human life has been shelved as just another thing. 

What I see is this. Pregnancy isn’t seen as a big deal anymore, and women who are carrying a baby inside them actually perform in society at the same pace as those who are not. In women’s long fight to not be coddled or considered the weaker sex we’ve gotten just what we asked for, and so now when we are in a physical condition that requires a little slack very little is to be found. 

Pregnant women are allowed to share the joy of the miracle happening inside them, but it’s much less common to hear them complain. The fact is that growing a baby is really hard work, but you seldom hear a woman admit this. Instead they stay strong holding their feelings of discomfort to themselves, and anyone around a pregnant woman might not even realize she’s expecting if not for the bulging belly and swollen face. 

We live in a society that doesn’t talk about how trying, tiring, and draining pregnancy can be. We live in a world that is so politically correct that a woman carrying a baby is almost afraid to discuss out loud the difficulties she’s experiencing for fear of the backlash she will receive. 

It’s true that the ability to have a baby is a wonderful, beautiful thing, but it’s also extremely hard. The problem is you can’t express that emotion without appearing ungrateful for the life inside you. 

Pregnant women aren’t allowed to complain, or at least that’s not the popular choice of expression. If they do happen to slip and let out a vocal frustration they are quickly met with the common phrase, “it will be so worth it in the end.” I see that a lot, and I can’t help but think, well, of course it’s worth it! I wouldn’t be doing it a third time if it wasn’t!

The bottom line for me is that growing a tiny human is tough. In fact it’s one of the toughest things we’ll ever do (aside from raising teenagers I’ve heard). Perhaps I should specify to say it’s the toughest physical challenge that many women will face, but we seem to have forgotten how to admit that. We seem to have forgotten that it’s okay to say, “This is hard! I’m really tired, and my vagina feels like Mike Tyson punched it!” Instead when asked we answer in an awe-shucks manner, “I’m okay; just ready for the baby to be here soon.” Yet even as we stand stoic and speak our strong words to strangers our inner woman wants to cry, I haven’t slept through the night in months, and I feel like I’m breathing fire. 

Listen to me now; this is the important part. Having a baby is one on the most precious, blessed experiences I have ever had! I wouldn’t trade it for the world, and I’m currently pregnant again because it is worth it. It’s amazing! But… It’s also hard. Really hard, and sometimes I just want to say so and not feel like I’m being a big baby, complainer. I want someone to pat my head compassionately and instead of say, “it will be worth it in the end,” I want to hear them say, “What you’re doing is amazing. I remember, and it’s really tough. Hang in there.” Then they can hand me a piece of chocolate, and let me cry in their lap. 

Women are one of the strongest creatures alive when it comes to childbirth, and I think it’s okay to remember that we’re still strong even when we admit weakness. It’s okay to say, “I feel like this baby is sucking the life out of me!” It’s okay to not enjoy every single thing about being pregnant. Just because you complain about the hardships every now and then, it doesn’t mean you’re not grateful. If you recall in Genesis God told Eve it wouldn’t be easy on her. Childbirth is a blessing of life, but it also really freaking hurts. Just saying. 

Next time you see a pregnant woman try to remember that she’s walking through the pain of sciatica on probably only four hours sleep. She’s emotionally frazzled, physically exhausted, and her breasts really hurt. She’s completely aware that she’s holding a beautiful, perfect miracle in her womb, but she may also just want someone to say, “why don’t you have a seat? You look like you could take a load off.”

Like an old cigarette ad stated after women’s lib, “you have come a long way baby,” but in my opinion it’s okay to admit when you feel that you are physically and emotionally lacking. You’re stronger than you realize for carrying a child inside you, and you have the right to say it ain’t easy. 

Everyone else around you should take a moment to understand that your complaints aren’t out of ingratitude, or even a blindness to other’s feelings. Sometimes something is just hard and you need to say so out loud. You just need a little support in your feelings as you struggle through the symptoms and physical demands a pregnancy entails. 

Pregnant women need to hear, “good job,” more often. We will be given the ultimate reward at the end of the nine months, but while in the thick of a race of utmost endurance, and after crying all morning about an insurance commercial, we could use a little sympathy and encouragement too. 

Why It’s Okay to Judge the Duggars, but Not Bruce Jenner

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I have remained pretty silent on the subject of Josh Duggar other than a couple of Facebook statuses that I quickly deleted after it became apparent it would an online argument (something I actually loathe). It’s not that I don’t have opinions. I do. I’ve just been hesitant to share them. The subject matter of molestation is a sensitive topic, naturally, and rather than digging myself into a social media hole, I chose to remain silent. 

I did blog about Bruce Jenner, though, and in this link to the article you’ll see how I defended unjust, cruel ridicule of him for his decisions. I didn’t like seeing people bearing the title of Christian speaking so vehemently about him. But it was easy to blog about that. Despite living in the Bible Belt, most of my friends and blog followers can agree that judging a person’s sin just isn’t right. So it was pretty easy to put that post out there. 

Where it wasn’t easy was to compose one about the Duggars. After all, if I spoke anything other than disgust and anger towards them then I was obviously a supporter of molestation, or simply a Bible-thumping hypocrite. So honestly my fear of man drove me to my silence on the subject. That same fear may prevent those who agree with me from saying so, and that’s okay. I get it. 

I remember when news broke about two weeks ago I became so upset. I was so frustrated with many of the comments and opinions I saw, to the point of getting off social media for a time. Then this morning I watched the recent interview with Jim Bob and Michelle on Fox, and once again my feelings returned. 

Why am I taking this so personally, Lord? They’re strangers to me. 

And it was at that moment I realized that it was a much deeper point that upset me so. It wasn’t about Josh Duggar, and the things he had done when he was a minor. It didn’t matter to me that he had placed his hand over the clothed breast of his sister rather than the penetrating act of rape like some were saying it was. It didn’t matter that he had come forward to confess to his parents, then later confessed to the Lord, and then, still later confessed to the world. It didn’t matter that he owned his sin as his own and that he was humbly asking for forgiveness not only from his family, his victims, God his Father, or even the media. Heck, it didn’t even matter that sealed records were illegally released (something people chose to ignore). I mean, all that mattered some, but it wasn’t what made me feel pain for them. 

I was taking it personally because they were children of God just like me. They were a Christian family who loved Jesus, and when they fell it seems that a pack of wolves were eagerly awaiting to devour them whole. Indeed, the thing that had upset me from the beginning was the droves of people almost foaming at the mouth to see them fail. There were two huge falsehoods being branded to the whole affair, and that was what bothered me the most. 

For one, there was an incorrect assumption out there that they were perfect. Because they held strong values, different from most of the world, because they homeschooled, dressed modestly, and bore the name of Christian it was assumed that they were without fault. Naturally, when it came to light that they were imperfect a persistent comment was jeered in their direction. 

“I knew they were too perfect! I knew something had to be wrong with them!”

And it was at this point that a large majority jumped up in down in celebration. I’m not sure why, but for some reason when someone who appears to have it all together falls flat on their face we get really excited. It’s like it somehow makes us feel better about our own life. Well, it’s okay that I have issues, cause I mean, hey, look at that guy!

Why else do people gossip in a spirit of joy when the “perfect couple” gets a divorce, or the preacher’s son turns out to be a drug addict? Misery loves company. And nothing has shown a light on that sad fact for me more than the jubilant “I told you so’s” exclaimed by the masses when the Josh Duggar story broke. 

It was a horrible thing to happen to any family, but it gained the attention and judgement it did from the public because they were a Christian family. It wasn’t because they were a reality TV family; it was because they were a Christian, reality TV family. Christians are supposed to be perfect, and therefore if we are discovered to be in sin everyone must send in the lynch mob immediately. But for siblings who touch their sister inappropriately and without consent and are not a proclaimed Christian, like Lena Dunham, well, it’s not really a big deal. I mean, she was just a kid, right?

Which brings me to point number two. We realize that people assume Christians must be perfect, so what’s something else about them? Number two: Christians can’t judge others. Sigh. 

I have a lot of opinions on this. First off, I hate the sin of judgement. I mean, I really, really dislike it when Christians judge people for their lifestyle. It gives Christianity a bad name, and it goes against what Jesus desires for us. But… this does not mean as Christians you are not responsible to speak out about what the Bible states is a sin. That’s actually hating sin, and heck, Jesus hates sin. And although a lot of the Christian population gets mixed up on what is righteous judgement versus what’s falsely basing a person’s worth on their sin rather than who they are in the Lord’s eyes, that’s just too big of a topic for today. 

I won’t even try to lay it out for you when it’s okay to judge versus when it’s wrong. Since everyone seems so intent out there on quoting the scripture of “judge not” we’ll just go with that for now. Okay? 

So let’s say we’re not supposed to judge. That’s the second falsehood about Christianity, but let’s just go with it cause it’s one of those favorite things people pull from the Bible. Even people who hate Christianity and think it’s a joke like to reference that scripture. “Hey, it’s your book, and it says you can’t judge. So you can’t!”

Well, shoot. How in the world do you get around this whole “I can’t judge people thing?!” No problem folks. It seems the solution is right before our very eyes. You can judge people; they just have to be Christians. 

As a Christian you cannot judge someone for a lifestyle that goes against your core values. If you do then you are a fear-mongering, hateful, homophobic, hypocrite. This is pretty simple, guys, so try not to get lost. As a Christian, even simple disagreement with another’s lifestyle is wrong, wrong, wrong. Don’t do it. It will kill your witness. 

Conversely, if you are a Christian I want you to be prepared. You will be made fun of, called names, watched like a hawk for any stumbling not in line with your value system, and you will be judged. In fact, it’s accepted. As a Christian you should know better according to public opinion, and any sin you commit will be placed under a magnifying glass and more stringent set of judgement than that of the secular world. That’s just how it is. 

Here, I’ll try to spell it out for you. Judging Bruce Jenner for saying God made a mistake when he formed him as a man is bad. Don’t do it. You’ll be a judgmental hypocrite. But, you are allowed to judge the entire Duggar family based on the past sin of a fourteen year old member of the family. In fact, while you’re at it you should judge all homeschooling families with strong moral values under this same umbrella. We’re all alike, you know? 

Look, I’m not saying I’m pro-molestation. I’m not saying I believe what Josh Duggar did to his sisters was right. Heck, he knew it was wrong which is why he went to his parents in tears. It was wrong! That’s not my point, and if you think putting Josh on trial is my purpose then you haven’t been paying attention. 

For me, I decided not to judge either one. I have some opinions about the sins they committed, but as far as name-calling, I stayed out of that ugly affair. 

Look, Josh is a sinner. The Duggars are sinners. Bruce Jenner is a sinner. I’m a sinner. And so are you. I serve a God who forgives my sin when I earnestly repent, and if we’re going to split hairs about it then maybe the unrepented sins are the ones we should be getting so fired up about.

But that’s not how this world works. I guess that’s what I got so upset about. Accepted sin is, well, accepted. Sin forgiven by God is placed on trial by man. You may judge someone if it’s the popular thing to do, but if it’s not, watch out! You’ll be no better than the molesters. 

If we’re going to say “judge not” then let’s mean it for all, not just those we don’t want to be judged. Let’s all try to see things a little clearer through the eyes of Jesus. No matter who you’re talking about, to Him they are someone special. Someone He loves. 

Again, I’m not making a post about my opinions on a transgender lifestyle any more than I’m making one in support of incest and molestation. Sin is sin, is sin. I just think we should start treating it that way. My sins aren’t any bigger just because I serve a big God. They’re just forgiven.