Brie Gowen

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Lost in the Wilderness of 2020

January 1, 2021 by brieann.rn@gmail.com 11 Comments

This morning I was reading my Bible. Sometimes when I’m reading the Word the passages will fly by as my eyes peruse them, soaking in the scriptural meaning, sure, but not speaking like a sword penetrating my soul. Does that make sense? What I mean is, sometimes I read the words, and while they’re good words, they read just like words. But other times, I read the words, and like living words they reach out and grab me by the neck, shaking me and saying, “listen to this, child.” I guess it’s like my kids. Sometimes they hear me. But other times, they really hear me!

Anyway, this morning I read a particular passage from Psalms. I like the Psalms, sure, but most of the time I’m just like, yeah, David, dude, that is so true. I prefer the words in red when I’m looking for some truth to shake me, but I’ve also noticed that God has spoken to me in the middle of one of the most seemingly boring books of the Bible (Numbers), so I know He can speak revelations through more than just Revelations. If you know what I mean. But back to Psalms.

Psalm 78:15 He split the rocks in the wilderness
and gave them water as abundant as the seas.

Talk about timely. If you’re not familiar, this Psalm is referencing a time in the past. The writer is remembering the goodness of God to supply His people, the Israelites, water to drink when they were traveling through the desert and dying of thirst. I mean, imagine the scene. Sun beating on your face, nothing but dry sand in sight. You cry out to your leader, “we’re thirsty, man. Our water bottles went dry miles back. I don’t see a rest stop anywhere close!”

They were in the desert, no water, no river, no oasis, no spring. Just rocks, sand, and a thirsty crowd. But God! He tells Moses to hit his staff on a rock, and to the surprise and delight of the group, water comes out. And not just a trickle, either. It flowed out like a rushing river, as abundant as an ocean.

Y’all, I don’t know about you, but this year has been like a desert for me. Sure, I knew the God who parted the Red Sea, but I’ve felt lost in the wilderness of 2020. As a critical care nurse, watching large numbers of my patient population die of a virus we’re still learning about, it’s been hard. My job is to make people better, but that hasn’t come easy this year. It hasn’t hardly come at all.

And the relationships! I’ve suffered broken friendships, a broken heart, and a disillusioned mind. As an extremely sensitive soul, this year actually sent me into a dark depression, and while I don’t like admitting it, I spent almost two months laying solely in bed on my days off work. I lost weight, I lost sleep, and I almost lost hope. I reached out to family and friends for prayer when I realized how bad I was feeling, and I reached out to my doctor as well. I haven’t experienced a season of darkness like this in over twenty years. I thought my walk with Jesus was too mature to feel so helpless, but this year showed me that I need more of Him than ever before.

2020 has been my wilderness, and perhaps it’s been yours too. I just want to remind you of the things our Father can do. He can take a rock and wring it out like a sponge, so He can certainly rain His Spirit into our dry and cracked crevices. That is what I’m needing.

This morning I stood in the shower and I asked God if there was a single word He had for me for the New Year?

“Journey,” He said. “You may have stopped traveling, but you haven’t stopped going places with me.”

I told a friend earlier that my goal was to travel into the new year with as little weight as possible. No, I’m not talking about a diet resolution. I’m talking about the weight of this world that we often carry. When the Israelites were in the desert hungry, the Lord rained down manna. Bread from heaven. He gave them just enough for each day (excluding the extra the day before the Sabbath). If they tried to gather more and carry it to the next day, it rotted. That happens in our lives too. We aren’t meant to be self-reliant, but rather God-dependent. We cannot try to gather for ourselves the things He never intended, and the worries of yesterday will only fester as we carry them into tomorrow.

So, I lay down the weight of this past year, and I go forward into the new year with just enough for each day. My rock-splitting Father will provide the flow of living water I need as I journey further into His plan for my life.

A Word From the Lord For the New Year

December 31, 2019 by brieann.rn@gmail.com

You have to walk into this new year as if it’s a new season of life. You can’t allow what went down this past year to predict or influence what’s coming up. You’re not your past, nor your prior mistakes. You’re not how people have treated you or who they’ve tried to define you as. You are a child of God, and as part of your inheritance your Heavenly Father is delivering you a fresh start for this year. In this season allow Him to define who you are, to provide what you need, and to guide you through it all.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

In this new season, I want you to take your eyes off your circumstances and place them on Jesus. Don’t look to the left or to the right. Don’t be distracted by the size of the battle. Instead remember who you fight for. Your God controls every battlefield. The One who controls the wind and the waves, He will fight for you. He will provide for you. You don’t have to do it alone this new year. He is making the way and providing all you need.

Isaiah 43:18-19

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert.

Just because you can’t see a change coming, that doesn’t mean it’s not happening. The Lord wants you to live your best life, in Him, this year. To do this He needs your total surrender and commitment. Don’t seek a solution. Seek His face. Dive into the truths of His Word. Press onward trusting God and the promises found for you in scripture. It’s okay if you haven’t sought Him in the past for your life. Seek Him now. Begin living each day for Christ, and He will lead you to new heights with Him this year.

Phillipians 3:13

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.

God is not disappointed in you. He rejoices over you with singing. You are His child, and He loves you dearly. Nothing is unknown to Him! Before He even formed you in your mother’s womb He knew the mistakes you would make and the problems you would face. He is calling to you now to come to Him, despite your faults, and to trust that He has a plan for your life. Yes, you! His plans are for your good future. He loves you that much.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This can be the year you lay down worry. This can be the year to tell anxiety that it’s gotta go. This can be the year that you stop trying in your own power, and that you start allowing God to take control. How do you do this?!

Start simply by asking Him to take control of your new year ahead. Then follow by seeking Him consistently in each new day. When you wake, speak to Him. Even if you don’t hear Him answering back! He loved you first. Now it’s your turn, and when you love someone you talk to them. Build a relationship by talking regularly with the Lord. Tell Him your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your worries, and your gratefulness.

As you seek the Lord in conversation and relationship you will feel more comfortable to place your trust in Him.

Grab the Bible. Read some every day! Even if you can’t understand it all at first. Ask your Father to reveal His truth for your life through scripture. Seek and you will find. Knock and He will answer. Commit to seeking Him through His Word. Then watch your life change.

When you have a problem, seek the Lord. Speak to Him about it. Pray for His guidance, and read the Bible for your answer. When you have a worry, hand it over to Him by bringing it to Him in prayerful conversation. Tell your Abba Father that you can’t fix it, but you believe He can. Believe it, and then watch what He does.

Celebrate your small victories with Him. Write them down. Tell Him thank you. Focus on the positive things in your life, and pray about the rest. Speak life into your day. Speak scripture out loud. Speak positive about yourself. You’re not old, fat, or bad at your job. You’re a child of the Most High God, created in His image to do great things for His kingdom. He fashioned you according to His will, so be excited for the life He has destined for you as you seek that will.

Trust Him this new year to take you to new heights with Him and in your life. Seek and you will find. You were made for so much more than this. Step into the New Year with a passion for His purposes for you!

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Meet Brie

Brie is a forty-something wife and mother. When she's not loving on her hubby or playing with her three daughters, she enjoys cooking, reading, and writing down her thoughts to share with others. She loves traveling the country with her family in their fifth wheel, and all the Netflix binges in between. Read More…

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