Brie Gowen

Savor the Essence of Life

How to Have a Happy Marriage

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I receive emails and messages frequently from strangers around the world seeking advice for how to improve their marriage relationship. I can’t say I hold some kind of secret sauce to happily ever after, but I do personally enjoy a very healthy and fruitful relationship with my spouse. If asked our secret, I could mention a handful of things we do or don’t do. If I had to come up with just one word to take to the heart of marriage, it would probably be selflessness, but even that isn’t the key. As I thought about what made our union so blissful, the many key components aside, I realized there was one factor that I believed was responsible.

Even when I speak of selfless behavior, this isn’t something we came up with on our own, or even reached by trial and error. Though, building a life with someone is certainly that. It’s moments built upon days, set up into weeks, with the years racing by, where you do acquire a certain familiarity and ease of being together.

My husband said earlier at our dinner date, “I’ll bet this pandemic showed a lot of people what their marriages were made of.”

Or not made of, sadly. I mean, moments stacked up into weeks, and then passing years can be a dreadful experience if you don’t particularly like the other person. I can honestly say I love my spouse more and more, each and every day. Just when I think I couldn’t love him more… I do. So what gives?

I treat my husband the way I would want to be treated, and he is the same. He is gentle with my feelings, considerate and kind. When anger tries to gather in either of our minds, we have the wherewithal to pause, consider the other’s feelings, and not just react, but react in love. We didn’t get this from a marriage conference or life coach.

I serve my husband in love, and he serves me in return. He doesn’t serve me out of obligation, and I don’t serve him based on some religious idea. We don’t follow a traditional family unit because that’s what’s worked for others. I consider him greater than myself, and he considers me greater than himself. We place the need of one another above our personal needs or desires, and yet mutually we both get what we need in the relationship. Selfless love. Dear Abby didn’t suggest the idea.

I don’t compare. I don’t compare my man to other men, and he doesn’t compare me to other women. We don’t covet the relationships of others. We feed our own. But I also don’t compare myself to him. I don’t place our roles on a scale of justice, weighing one contribution against another. Neither does he. I don’t concern myself with what he’s not doing. I’m too busy being grateful for the things he does do. I don’t keep a tally of who does more in the relationship. That would take my eyes off the gift of doing for him. It would blind me to all the tiny, selfless acts he offers each and every day. No human counselor offered this advice.

I am too busy looking in the mirror to find fault in his reflection. I focus on being a better me, and he does the same. I water my own grass, I don’t sweat the small stuff, and I never let the sun set on my anger. Heck, I just don’t get angry much. Nope, it’s not a miracle chill pill. It’s the Fruit of the Spirit.

All the things I’ve mentioned I don’t do, or the many wonderful things my husband does do, these are all fruits that have sprung up in our marriage because we abide in the vine. To put it plainly, we follow the example of Jesus, and that makes us better for one another. Heck, if it was up to just me, I’d be a horrible wife. My hormones are a mess, I tend to be an absolute control freak, and I cannot understand people who don’t like their ducks in a row. If it were up to me, I’d likely expect perfection in a man, but I learned early on that my happiness isn’t found in this world alone. My joy is complete in Heavenly places, and that takes a load off the chaos down here.

Early in our marriage we began a journey of getting to know Jesus better, and I now realize that is the absolute best thing we did not only for ourselves, but for each other. The teachings of Jesus found in the Bible are the best life hack you will ever find. The words in red teach me how to be a better partner, a selfless friend, a giving wife, a gentle lover, a peaceable person, and an understanding spouse. They teach me not only how to love, but how to love well. Every day is spent in the Word, and because of this dedication to living and loving like Jesus, my marriage blossoms under that care. Our relationship is like a well-watered vineyard, bursting forth with good fruit. It’s not us, really, but rather our ability to live out what scripture teaches.

Of importance and worth mentioning, you can’t just read a few verses out of Ephesians and call it a day. You can’t attend a marriage conference at your church and expect a life change overnight. It turns out that the entire story of God’s love from beginning to end, on each and every page, in each parable and Old Testament lesson, lays the foundation for learning to love like Him. It’s a day by day taking in of the truth, a daily listening to the Holy Spirit, and a continuous surrendering of self to His ways. To be a good spouse is to follow Jesus. To have a happy marriage is to build your life on His purposes, abiding in His love, and not trying to fill your heart with anything less than the true love of Christ. To love the Lord, like, really love the Lord, is the only way to love your spouse as you should, and to be loved by them like you deserve.

My husband is an amazing husband because he seeks Christ. His relationship with me simply overflows from that. Any good thing I do in my marriage is Spirit led. Like I mentioned before, I’d likely be a pretty naggy and slightly psychotic wife if not for the patience, kindness, good temperance, and love the Spirit fills my heart with on the daily as I surrender my life to Him.

I never want to be one of those preachy, self-righteous, overly religious, or pious people who claim to know the secret to a happy life. Heck, I’m still learning as I go, a work in progress, if you will. All I know is, I love my husband, I love my marriage, and I love my life. I wouldn’t change one thing about it. I am not just content, I am supremely blessed, living my own fairy tale it feels like. And when I look around for a reason for my bliss, or the cause of such happiness, I know without a doubt it’s our decision to grow close to Jesus that has drawn us so perfectly close to one another. No secret sauce, but certainly a great recipe for a happy married life.

Three Things God Has Done for Me

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I was recently reading a devotional, and in it the author encouraged the reader to make a list of three things God has done in your life. Initially, I laughed to myself. Only three! I mean, God has done more in my life than I could possibly fit on paper. Even a whole notebook. He woke me up in the morning, gave me hot water to shower with, and who could forget about coffee?! Talk about the best invention ever! And that’s just the first hour of my day. How in the world I could just pick three, I didn’t know, but I felt led to try. As I quieted my mind, these three bullets came to me, and I thought I would share them with you.

1. He healed me. Ok, so I could start with how God miraculously healed me of epilepsy. How after a decade-long battle of neurologist visits, medications three times a day, abnormal EEG’s, and debilitating migraines, He took the disease completely, totally, and immediately from me. I could talk about that, but no, it’s more than just a seizure disorder.

I could tell you how He took the pain from my knees, the pain that had been there since my twenties, the messed up knees that a doctor had told me when I was twelve years old would eventually “go out on me.” I could tell you how I carried that curse and constant pain into my forties, but the day I asked for His healing, they never hurt me again. But this is about more than not needing a knee replacement after all.

I could testify to physical healing, of myself, and of my children. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that God isn’t limited to just one kind of healing. He certainly had healed my physical body, but He had also healed the rest of me. If I looked on the outside like I used to feel on the inside, I would resemble an old China doll. The lines of harsh reality had riddled my fragile shell like cracks in aged porcelain. One wrong move and I probably would have shattered to pieces. But God.

My life before the love of Christ was broken. Torn by the pain of rejection, I felt lacking. Twisted by the lies that I was only as good as the people who had left me in life, I felt worth little more than nothing. I felt empty. We’re not made to feel that way, and as such I wasted many years trying to fill myself with anything I could. Anything that would give me some substance, make me feel worthwhile. I sought the approval of man, and I numbed my pain with empty indulgence. I tried to be better, basing my worth on what I could achieve in life. It never felt like enough. It wasn’t until I found the love of Jesus that I could be healed from all the hurt this world had piled upon me.

He healed me from the pain of sin, and He gave me eternal life. He healed me from my past, and He gave me a future. He healed me from rejection, and He adopted me as His own. He healed me from the bondage of slavery, and He gave me real freedom to live life fully and joyfully.

2. He gave me a new identity. I have had several last names in my life. I had the one I was born with, and later, my adoptive dad’s last name. I had my first husband’s last name, and now I have my second husband’s name. I have held many titles in life, some of them I’d rather forget, but others that I’m proud to go by to this day. I love holding the role of wife, mother, nurse, and friend. I’m a writer, a Navy veteran, an encourager, and a singer at times. I’ve been known to be a goofball, a crybaby, and even an outcast. I have been labeled things that make me cringe, and I’ve been called names that made me cry. But do you know what all these things have in common?

They are meaningless.

They are meaningless when held alongside my identity in Christ. Often times in life we can falsely build our worth and self esteem on the titles we possess or roles we play. We think we’re what our last name is, what job we perform, or how well we perform it. We assume we’re what we do, the mistakes we’ve made, or even the things we’ve failed to achieve. We fall to lies that we’re held back by who our family is, genetics, our financial circumstances, where we live, the way it’s always been, or our lot in life. We never reach the potential God has for us because we believe in a false identity. The identity of this world.

When I came to know the Lord, I realized my true identity was in Him. I was His child. I was created in His image, with a destiny in mind. I was forethought, artfully designed, on purpose, with each detail precisely constructed in love. I was worth dying for, and I was worth pursuing. I was a child of the King, protected, holy, worthy, righteous, and redeemed. I was His. I was not alone. I was loved.

3. He gave me a purpose beyond myself. Once I found myself healed and whole, loved and set free, I felt an urgency to share this miraculous happening. It’s like, if you suddenly had the best cup of coffee in your life. It would be all you could talk about. You’d make sure your spouse, your best friend, and all your coworkers knew how to find this divine cup of joe. This is where I found myself.

Each day, as my spirit draws closer to the Lord, I become more certain of the plans He has for me. Knowing my identity in Him, I am able to throw off the minuscule concerns of this world that have no eternal perspective. I am able to shed the busyness, the ridiculous distractions that vie for my attention, and in essence, pull me further from His truth. I think that’s the first step to finding God’s purpose for your life. You have to be able to let go of all that entangles you, trying to take first chair over His kingdom.

As you can release the treasures of this world, and can begin building eternal equity instead, you can find true purpose. You can find true peace. True joy, even.

When you can let go of the things of this world, the titles and roles that you think complete you, and instead find real fulfillment through your heritage and the inheritance of your Heavenly Father, you will discover your true path in life. Consider this world a practice run. The real thing is what awaits us.

When I realized this profound, yet simple truth, I found purpose. I found a purpose beyond myself and my front yard. I found a way to be full, to the brim, and an understanding that because of Him, I am never lacking. And in this fullness of life, I make each day about pouring out that love on others. The more I give, the more I get. I never realized that before.

So, now I would encourage you. Sit down, clear your mind, and ask yourself, “what has God done for me?” You might just discover along the way, what you can do for Him.

When It’s Hard to See the Good in a Bad Day

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When you wake up sweaty and tired to the sound of a crying baby.

When kids can’t seem to communicate outside of a whine. 

When cut grass continues to track inside the house, and flies are close behind, both conspiring to drive you slowly insane. 

When you’re five months pregnant on a muggy August day in Mississippi, and the air conditioning goes out. 

When you hate yourself for yelling at the kids. 

When grease from the hot bacon burns you. 

When the kids just won’t listen. 

When you drop things repeatedly and bending over is really hard. 

When you need to wash your greasy hair, but know a blow dryer will be torture in a hot, stuffy house. 

When your legs hurt. And your hips hurt. And your head hurts. And you’re nauseated. 

When you get a stain on your shirt right before walking out the door. 

When you absolutely have to go to the DMV. 

When you sit in the DMV parking lot, it’s pouring a torrential rainfall, and the toddler is finally asleep. 

When you realize you forgot your umbrella. 

When you walk into the DMV and realize you’re that pregnant lady, the one with little kids in tow and nappy hair to boot. 

When the picture on your license does not lie. 

When the AC repairman leaves and the vents are still blowing hot air. 

And they tracked more grass in your house, which is also mixed with mud. 

And your house is on the market. 

And now the landscaper can’t come because of the rain. 

And the cable and Internet are acting hokey. 

When nothing, absolutely nothing about your day seems to be working according to plan. You’re tired, achy, and feel like your prayers for patience are not working out. Or are they?

When it’s a bad day, and despite how much you want to find the good in it, you’re having a hard time. 

When you realize the kids are happy and healthy, and the one growing in your belly is doing just fine.

When you think that maybe the rain will cool it off outside. It should certainly keep homebuyers away until floors are mopped. 

When you realize you have somewhere to go if it doesn’t cool off. 

When you realize that perception is everything, and perhaps the stuff that seems bad may not be so terrible after all. 

Even so, some days are just plain bad days, and it’s not always easy seeing a silver lining, but you hold on tight because you know who controls it all. 

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 8:28

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Isaiah 58:11

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

When you smile despite the bad, a slight smile, but a smile nonetheless, because you trust that tomorrow will be a better day. 

When you smile, a slight smile, but a smile nonetheless, at the thought that tomorrow may not be much better. 

But you know there’s always the next day. Right?

  

5 Biblical Truths to Encourage Nurses

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I’m the kind of woman who draws her strength from the Lord, but after an especially difficult shift as a registered nurse I will sometimes find myself feeling weak. I may even feel defeated, as if I am an absolute failure at what I’m trying to do. Or I may feel like I just don’t have what it takes to give my patients what they deserve. 

It’s in these moments of occasional, but understandable discouragement over a very difficult vocation that I must remind myself of the solid truths about myself and my profession that can be found in God’s word. 

Here are 5 Biblical truths I try and remember, and that I repeat to myself in those moments when I need encouragement the most. 

 
1. Remember where your strength comes from. 

Philipians 4:13

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. 

Y’all, nursing is hard, and that’s why this is my power verse. I will never know all the answers, catch every problem before it becomes a big issue, or get every single thing right. It’s just too complex of a position to expect perfection of one’s self. But I can rely on the one who is perfect. I can pray to hear His voice as I go about my day, and I can agree to trust the Lord to supply me with the resolve I need to do my job well. 

When I cannot, he can. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. 

2. Remember why you’re doing what you do. 

Colossians 3:23

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,

As a Christian I believe that every move I make and every action I perform is a direct representation of who I am in Christ. Every task I perform is for his honor and his glory. So in essence everything I do should be done unto him, in his honor, and for the furthering of his kingdom. 

What I do matters. Whether it’s wiping someone’s bottom, holding a frightened woman’s hand, titrating dangerous cardiac medications, or even charting, I am doing it for the Lord. I am serving his people, and I would like to think that makes him proud. 

In this regard it only makes sense that I try and do what I do with a joyful heart. This isn’t always easy, and I fall short often, but that’s why it’s a good reminder. It’s a great thing to keep in mind that my actions are working according to his purpose, that my attitude represents his kingdom, and that God can use even little ole me to accomplish wonderful things. Now that’s encouraging. 

3. Remember that fear isn’t necessary. 

Psalm 118:6

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?

It’s really easy to become fearful in the frightening world of healthcare. There’s so many unknowns, so many things that can go wrong. I find it extremely helpful, though, when I remind myself that there is no unknown to God. 

He knows what assignment I will receive, how my patient will react to intervention, and what the eventual outcome will be. He holds it all in the palm of his hand, and as I trust in him, he will guide me. 

In nursing fear will come, but it’s not necessary to hold onto that fear when you remember your trust lies in the creator of the universe. When you rest in the shadow of the almighty he will give you peace, not fear. Fear is from the other guy. 

4. Remember that God has you where he wants you for a reason. 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

It’s easy to get frustrated at times with where we are in our career. You can begin to question if you’re in the right setting or field all together. It’s easy to become discouraged, and in those instances it’s imperative to hold tightly to the calling God placed in your heart in the beginning. 

Sometimes we are where we are for a season, or we must transverse a difficult, dry patch to get to the other side. But whatever the situation you can always trust that God has control of your destiny. He will open doors, and he will close others. 

He will guide us to new places if and when it is his will, but he will always provide us with what we need for where we are. And his purposes are always fulfilled where he has placed us. Even when we cannot see. You just have to trust that he is working it all towards your good, in his perfect knowledge and time. 

5. Remember who’s in control. 

This is a hard one for nurses. Nursing is a field where your actions and decisions are a huge deal, and in reality they can mean life or death for someone. In that line of thinking it’s easy to become stressed out as you feel you must manage and control everything. But when it comes down to it you don’t have control. You just don’t. 

While this is a hard thing to admit, I find it’s actually easier when I can remember that the outcome of my patient isn’t really in my hands. I can do the best I can do, but in the end I have to surrender my performance into the Lord’s hands. And when I do that I can actually catch my breath. He’s in control; he’s got this! Thank God.

Isaiah 55:8-9

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD . “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.


I Pray I’m Doing Well

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Most coherent, reflective thought comes to me in the still, silent night, that moment when I am putting my child to sleep, after she has gone down, but before I place her in her bed. And last night was no different. 

She had finally quieted and had given up the good fight of resistance to bedtime. I rocked slowly back and forth, continuing the lulling motion a bit longer to ensure my youngest was indeed in a deep surrender to the sandman. 

As our bodies tethered by love moved back and forth in a sleepy-time medley I gazed at her drowsing face. There was something about a sleeping baby, and I didn’t think even the most majestic sunset could compare in beauty to my dozing princess in that moment. 

My thoughts came quickly in an emotional outpouring, and they whispered to my soul after a hard day. It had been a long day, as life with young children tends to be, and while it had been a blessed day, it had also been a challenging one. 

I pray I did well. 

So many days I awake refreshed, prayers of thanksgiving on my lips, and morning cuddles to accompany a hot cup of coffee. I arise a strong woman ready to conquer the little world I transverse that is childrearing, but somewhere along the way, in between tantrums, skipped naps, and bruised egos, my resolve begins to slip. 

My patience wanes, my energy drains, and the strong, eager mother becomes a weary, weepy woman who is certain she has failed. I have many jobs, but only this one calling in life I am driven to do so well, yet sometimes I feel like I fall flat on that duty. And as the day turns to night, as hyper children finally sleep soundly, I stare at their closed eyes and I pray. 

I pray I’m doing well. 

My heart’s deepest desire is to show my babies the love of Christ, to show them His heart by example. Yet so many times I miss the beat, and as our day wanders off path, and my focus wavers from the task at hand, I find myself simply holding on for dear life. In my mistakes, misgivings, and missteps I reach blindly, clinging to the cross, holding on to the hope that my babies somehow still know that I love them. 

I pray I’m doing well. 

Some days that is all I can do. I can only sit in my rocker at the very end, quieting my child, my mind, and my spirit, and surrendering my day to the one who holds it all in the palm of His hand. 

He who holds my heart, He who knows my desire to raise my kids in a manner that is pleasing in His sight, He who forgives me when I do less than His best for me; I cling to Him, my Lord, my God. And I pray that I am doing well. 

My socked feet touched carpet, slowing the sway, then ceasing our rocking lullaby. I stared again at her peaceful face, transfixed by such beauty, such perfection, such a happy, healthy child. Perhaps I was doing well. 

I knew I could do better; I could always do better. But there was also tomorrow. For this night I would lay her down, I would lay my own exhausted body down, and I would lay it all down at the feet of Jesus. 

     

I Can’t Fix My Husband

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He came dragging in late again, and I watched closely as he set down his bag and slipped off his shoes. He looked so tired, and my heart went out to him. I crossed the room and silently wrapped my arms around him tightly, holding the embrace a little longer than usual. Finally I whispered, “welcome home.”

He had been coming home late a lot recently. Work was busy, which in essence was a good thing considering his role in the business, but I felt bad for him nonetheless. His new responsibilities brought with them a great deal of pressure, and I could read it in the lines on his forehead and the circles under his eyes, as if stress itself had etched it there. 

My wife heart wrung its hands helplessly, and I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I grappled for communication that would convey what my heart wanted to say. I’m proud of you. Your hard work doesn’t go unnoticed. 

Finally I spoke with compassionate concern, “how was your day?”

His reply was much the same as the late night before. “Busy. Long. Good.”

The words coming from his mouth said “good,” and I knew that was true, but unspoken they also conveyed, I’m exhausted. And once again my wife heart sympathized for him. I wanted to reach out and take some of the burden from his cup, even if just for a moment. 

Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to take their struggle away, that you desired to make it somehow better? To fix it?

  
He had a hot, home-cooked meal waiting on the stove. The house was clean, the children were too. I loved him, and he knew it. He knew too of the pride I held for him. I told him often. Basically I was doing all I knew I could do. I was offering support, a listening ear, and plenty of affection. Yet I wanted to do more. I needed to do more.

I wanted to fix it. I wanted to take the hard away and replace it with only good times and laughter, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t fix my husband, I couldn’t save him, and I couldn’t take away the difficulties from his life. I couldn’t do any of these things any more than I could have changed him years ago when we first got married. 

I had desired to at the time, to change him, and though, thankfully, he was so very different now than he had been then, I knew his transformation had nothing to do with a dutiful wife. Sure, the faithful prayers had helped I suppose, but in the end I hadn’t fixed him then either. But God had. 

This morning as I prayed again for my husband as he slept, I reflected on how the Lord had changed his life. Our lives. He alone had brought things to the blessed station where they now stood, and His faithfulness was unchanging. 

Ephesians 3:20

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

I cannot fix my husband. I cannot make his work less exhausting or somehow shorten the day. I cannot take away the stress he feels to provide for his family, and I cannot take his burden and make it my own. But I can love him, support him, and pray for him. I can trust God to give him the strength he needs, and to guide him daily. I can trust God with his life, and listen attentively for what I may do to assist in the matter. I can be his helpmate, my most favorite calling, but some things are outside of my control. 

Some things I just can’t fix. So instead I simply trust the one who can. 

Thank You for the Trash, Lord

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I walked swiftly across my kitchen floor, and immediately the feeling of crushing particles were felt under my foot. I sighed to myself in a growing frustration, and thought, didn’t I just take care of this?!

Indeed, the day before I had spent a large amount of time sweeping and mopping my floors, and I stood dumbfounded as I stared at the large pile I had collected via broom in my kitchen floor. After less than twelve hours it had gone from clean back to being unable to walk barefoot without stepping on food. 

I felt livid, and the longer I looked at the abnormally large, crumb pile I felt my anger swell. But then it stopped. Because then I looked at the mound of mess in a different way. For some odd reason instead of seeing work for me, I saw proof of the life that lay before me. And it wasn’t one of constant sweeping. Well, it was. But it was also one of immense blessing. 

So as I swept the evidence of my children’s presence into a dustpan I thought of it just like that. It was a solid representation of the gift I had at my fingertips, and in my lap. Even if they were messy. 

And I said, “Thank you for the trash, Lord. It shows that we have plenty.”

Thank you for the sink full of dishes, Lord. It means we have enough to eat. 

Thank you for the rolled-up pair of discarded, men’s socks on the living room rug. It means I have a husband present here for me to love. 

Thank you for the ring around the tub, Lord. It shows I have happy, healthy children who are able to go outside to run, play, and get really dirty. 

Thank you for all the laundry, Lord. As I fold it into different piles I see how many children you have given to me. 

Thank you for a husband who gets home so late, Lord. It shows me how hard he works to provide for our family. 

Thank you for toys all over the living room floor, Lord. It reminds me that we are able to provide material possessions for our children. Even if sometimes we buy too much. 

Thank you for long, exhausting days with the children. It reminds me how blessed I am to be able to stay home with them. 

Thank you for all the repetitive days of cooking and cleaning, Lord. It shows me how blessed I am to be able to have the time and energy to serve my family in that way. 

Thank you for bills, Lord. Each month you show me how you can provide. 

Thank you when things do not always go my way, Lord. It reminds me that your way is so much better. 

Thank you for my messy home, Lord. It is messy, but it is mine. It is filled with toys and dirty laundry, but it is also filled with love. In fact, it overflows. 

Thank you for crumbs on my feet and cranky babies in my lap. It reminds me that happiness comes in all shapes and sizes, but the life you have chosen for me is just right. And I thank you for it. 

  

When an Addict Can Be a Saving Grace

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Over a year ago a wrote a post about a patient I encountered in my job as a nurse. For my long-term readers you may recall Princess. Everyone else can read it here. But basically the woman I’m talking about was broken. She was reduced to a shaking, shell of a woman due to addiction, and a slew of other things that had occurred in her life over the years. I was used to seeing overdosed drug addicts on my unit, so much so that it actually became commonplace. In fact it was hard not to become frustrated and short on patience with people who seemed to live a life that would be the death of them. 

Yet this woman was different, and although she resembled in her presentation so many that had come before her, on this particular day God tore open my heart for her. I think it was the utter and complete brokenness I saw in her eyes, and as a former abuser of alcohol and broken woman myself, my heart went out to her. 

I didn’t think I did anything special that day, but I did speak the truth as I felt God speak it to me. As He had indeed spoken it into my very own messed up past. I just told it like it was, and I let her know about the Father heart of God. I spoke to her of what that meant for her character, and as a princess, rather than “trash” or an addict, she held a lofty title as God’s heir. I suppose when you become aware for the first time of your royal and special existence as a child of the King it can kind of change everything. 

Two weeks from our first meeting she called me at work. I really couldn’t imagine the impact I had made on her until that moment, but through our conversation it hit me. I guess we’re all unlikely heirs to the throne, but then to realize God loves us anyway, well, that’s a game-changer for sure. And she wanted to change. 

We exchanged numbers, and promised to keep in touch. She planned on attending a rehab of some sort, and I was just honestly humbled that I had made an impression on her that inspired her to change. I couldn’t believe that God was using a former addict like myself as a saving grace for another, and the idea that I was a catalyst for her desire to change was huge to me. Go God, right?!

That’s been well over a year ago. I kept her contact information saved to my phone, and about once every three months I would see her name, pray for her, and send her a text letting her know I had. In retrospect I probably should have prayed more frequently, but that is neither here not there. Regardless, I never received a response back. Never. 

After the first couple of times I resigned to the fact that that could be a bad thing. We see it a lot in the field of medicine, and I had seen it in my own life. So many times addicts desire to change, but they relapse. Despite the fact that I was sure Princess’s nonresponse meant awful things, I still held out hope. I mean eventually everyone who wants to change has to change, right? Or they die. But I pushed that thought away. 

So imagine my surprise when a week ago, out of the blue, I received a message from my absent friend. We talked on the phone, and I was pleased to hear that she had not contacted me due to the fact of her completing a year of inpatient rehab. She was clean, sober, and determined to continue her journey of healing. Beyond that she also was quite adamant on letting me in on how much I meant to her. If I had a mirror I’m sure I would have seen myself blushing. 

It seems that growing up she hadn’t known much about God, and my conversation with her had been new territory. I guess you get so used to people being raised in a Christian environment in the South that it’s actually shocking to learn that the Father God principle is something new. I mean, can you imagine discovering for the first time how special you are in your Savior’s eyes? Do you remember that feeling? Nothing compares. And nothing else can change you like that. 

And I guess that’s the whole point, the whole thing God’s been telling me through this. Only He can change a person’s heart, but we can be that catalyst for change. Only God can take a sinner and somehow make them a saving grace for another lost child of the King. Only God can draw in hurting hearts, but He can use me to call their name. He can use me to show His heart. What an honor. 

Would I sit complacent when he urged me to show His love to others, or would I let Him use me? Would I accept the call to assist Him in changing lives?

It’s easy to assume some lost people are so far gone that they’ll never be found, and it’s even easier to assume you can have no role in something so difficult and life-changing. But God would tell you that you can. God would tell you that through Him all things are possible. What an encouraging thought. 

Naturally Princess wishes to keep me up to date on her progress, and I’m tickled pink to be a part of her transformation as it continues. I’m hopeful for her future, and as I think of how drastically God altered my own life I believe for her that change is possible. 

We always have to believe that change is possible.