I love being a nurse, no doubt about it, but when I became a mother I realized that I really loved that too. And for the first time I felt at odds with which one I should give more of my time. I think I do a pretty decent job at managing my two loves as I’ve figured out how to work part-time while still spending a majority of my week with my children training them up in the way they should go.
But as I’ve added to my family over the past few years I’ve felt a longing to spend as much time with my kids as possible. They grow so quickly, and these formative years fly by. With that in mind I’ve often thought about spending even more time at home than I already do.
It’s an idea I toss about, being a stay-at-home mom, but it’s not something I’ve yet decided fully upon. It takes both parents to provide for the family nowadays, so this is a subject I spend a lot of my prayer time pondering with the Lord.
On the mornings when I have to leave my babies for thirteen hours away I really question my continued career as a nurse, and since my third child’s arrival it’s been especially difficult. I’ve wondered if my time wouldn’t be better utilized at home, and as I’ve closed the front door with the cries of my infant echoing behind me, I’ve wanted to cry too.
Some days I work at the hospital and I wonder if I’m even doing anyone any good. Nursing, while rewarding, can also be extremely draining, and it’s easy to question the calling.
Recently I was reminded of something important, and it landed like a much needed encouragement on my windowsill. I guess we all need a breath of fresh air sometimes.
A local pastor in the community met my husband for the first time, and as they spoke he made the connection that we were husband and wife. He proceeded to tell my husband he thought a lot of me, and then shared a story.
It seems that in his ministry circles he had encountered a young woman who had described herself in a negative light because she had always been treated that way. Her whole life she had been treated like the fat girl or the ugly girl, and suicidal thoughts were her norm. Until she landed in the hospital.
She had told this minister my name, and that for the first time in her life someone had treated her decent. She claimed I had treated her like the most important person in the hospital, and as you can imagine that had a great effect on her.
The thing is, it also had an effect on me. I try to treat everyone I encounter like how God sees them, but especially those who I feel are broken-hearted. Usually, though, you never get to realize how your actions have an effect on another. This time I was afforded the opportunity to know I impacted someone’s life in a positive way, and it was a real blessing to me. Yeah, I ugly cried.
It also reminded me that when I decided to give my life over to Jesus that it no longer was just my own. So when I prayed, and said “your will be done,” He did just that. When I said, “in your timing” He obliged. It’s easy to forget that sometimes.
You may never know the lives you touch or the changes your presence makes in the world, but if you trust in the Lord it helps to remember that He’s using you greatly. God places us where we are most needed, and with that in mind we should thrive where we are planted.