No oven. Not just a tiny oven, mind you, but no oven. It’s broken! A stove that is about quarter the size of the standard-size cooktop, and little to no counter space. Reduced cabinets available, and don’t even get me started on the refrigerator. It’s itty bitty. In fact, we had to ask our landlord if we could keep our turkey in their office fridge to thaw. This was my Thanksgiving now. This was my life.
A year ago we felt the Lord leading us down a scary road. We felt God wanted us to sell all our possessions, give up our comfortable home and routine, and travel the country as a family in an RV. Yeah, you’re not the first person to look at us like we’re crazy. We got a lot of that. Heck, we thought it was crazy too, but that couldn’t change the fact that we still felt like He wanted us to go. Not sure exactly how He could use this traveling lifestyle for us to further His kingdom, we began to step forward, but with trepidation.
That Thanksgiving I cooked in a spacious kitchen, complete with a fully functioning and adequate sized oven. I took the bounty from my double door fridge, and set platters all along my ceramic counters, eating from our dining room table. Did I mention before that we don’t have a dining room table now? We don’t have a dining room either. It’s basically one room that encompasses the dining, kitchen, and living room. One room a little bigger than my previous, spare bedroom. So recently as I struggled to prepare a Thanksgiving meal in my tiny house on wheels it didn’t get past me how different this year was from the ones before.
Although, back then, God was pushing us in the direction He had in mind, while changing our hearts and desires, I know it took a bit of fire to get us to jump. A failed business where we had to close the doors, mounting bills, and us seeing no other way to turn certainly did the trick. A part of me mourned to watch all our furniture fly out the door in the hands of strangers for pennies on the dollar, to let go of a life that had become routine. When we drove away from our two story, dream home, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me cry a little bit.
I used to have three full bathrooms, my own master bath complete with double sinks and a vanity table in between. Now I got ready in a bathroom the size of my previous linen closet. The hot water heater now held 10 measly gallons, and we emptied the contents of our toilet once a week at least. It’s a good thing we got rid of all of our things because we wouldn’t have room for them anyway. Can’t you just imagine how my Thanksgiving went?!
It was…
It was…
It was the most blessed day I’ve had in forever. And if I hesitate it’s only because I’m about to cry happy tears over it. I’m not sure what it is about giving up everything that makes you appreciate the little you have. It’s like when that measly, 10 gallon, hot water heater went out on us last month. After almost two weeks of cold showers, now, every time that steaming water hits me I cry, “thank you, Jesus!”
Sure, I have a small kitchen, but I get to stand at the counter of it with my darling daughters at my feet. I have less square footage, but more time with my spouse. I own less things, but I appreciate even more the things that I have now. I am thankful for the things I do have, not the things I do not. And it seems to me that your attitude towards your circumstances is what really makes them what they are.
Some folks would see living in a fifth wheel as a sad, downgrade. We see it as a blessed adventure. We are living the life God led us to lead, and enjoying it pleases Him even more. My daughters don’t pine for the toys they no longer have. They’re too busy enjoying themselves playing with the ones they do. And that’s where the meat of thankfulness lies.
To be grateful is to be so occupied with joy over the gifts before you that you have not the time to think of the things you do not possess. I mean, you could, but that mindset ruins everything. You have two choices in life. You can walk in a way that celebrates the beauty of little things like a gorgeous sunset and a yummy breakfast, or you can trudge through life complaining about it all. The interesting thing is that for most of us, the things we detest are the very things someone else prays for. The life most of us lead is never good enough for us, yet over our shoulder is someone admiring it. We seem to be a generation that doesn’t realize how truly blessed it is.
I never knew I could be so grateful for what a year ago, to me, would have seemed so little. It’s most peculiar, for it seems that as my possessions shrunk, my heart grew. God knew that me giving up the things that I only thought were a blessing would open my eyes to the things that truly are. He knew that an uncertain future would make me more able to appreciate His guidance and provision in my life. He knew that changing my life and removing me from my comfort zone would cause me to trust Him more. He knew He needed to slow my life down, take away the schedules and to-do lists that distracted me, to open my eyes to the beauty of the world around me. He knew that sometimes the weight of too much makes your heart feel less.
Now, each day that I wake the first thing out of my mouth is praise. Even if it’s 5am and I’m getting up to go to work I will proclaim, “thank you, Lord, for a good night’s sleep.”
If I don’t sleep so well I’ll say, “thank you, Lord, that I didn’t sleep any worse. Thank you that you’ll give me the strength I need for the day.”
If my bank account is dwindling I’ll say, “thank you, Lord, that we have enough for what we need.”
If I have a bad day at work I’ll say, “thank you, Lord, that you got me through it.”
So when I’m bumping into the wall in that tiny bathroom, and my mind wants to be angry that it’s so small, I’ll be quick to say, “thank you, Lord, for this RV. Thank you that it’s all ours, that we own it. Thank you that it’s dry and warm.”
I could focus on the fact that it’s cramped, or I could focus on the fact that it’s all I really need, and that I’m grateful I have it at all. I’ve seen enough homeless people lately to know they would love to have the life I do.
When my children are driving me crazy I try to remember they won’t always be small.
When I’m tired from work I try to remember what a blessing my job is, how it provides so well, and how it offers us the option to explore the country on the days I’m not working.
When the devil would try to whisper discontent to my heart, I would silence him by speaking gratitude. After all, if you’re constantly in an attitude of gratitude you’ll be far too busy to complain or be unhappy with your lot.
This is only something I’ve learned this past year. I used to always dream of more, long for better, and hope for bigger. I wanted a larger home, a newer car, more vacations, and things like that. I didn’t realize until recently that less can be more, and that the very best things in life cannot be measured. Love is free, and it exists when you have little, and when you have a lot. It’s just a matter of if you can see it. Gratitude opens your eyes to appreciate the small things in life. You desire less because you realize you already have all you’ll ever need.
I still have my moments when discontent tries to come upon me. I think we’ll always have the option, but it’s up to us to decide how we’ll go forward from there. You can wallow in unhappiness and a longing for more, or you can walk in gratitude and be the richest person in the world.