People hurt when they are hurting. We can know this, but when the pain is hurled in your direction, you forget.
First instinct? Fight back. Cut deeper, hit harder, pull out all the stops. Don’t admit where you’re wrong. Instead just focus on where the other party is in error.
Hurtful comments come from a hurting source. It’s easy to forget that. It’s easier to continue the chain of pain. To take the pain of another onto yourself. To become responsible for someone else’s pain.
What’s hard is understanding that everyone you know will fail you. It sounds pessimistic, but it’s just hard reality. No one wants to be the cause of someone else’s pain, but it happens unaware. At one point or another, every person you know will hurt you to one degree or another. It sounds terribly bleak, but it’s true. Even the people you hold the closest will disappoint you.
The only upside to the human condition is Jesus. He is the only one who can satisfy our hungry souls, and the only one who heals our pain rather than causing unintended distress. He is the only one who heals, not hurts. What we lack in ourselves is a kingdom perspective, an eternal view. We only see the here and now, not the ever after.
We are given this one life here on earth to do with the best we can. We’ll fail. We’ll hurt others, others will hurt us. We cannot change it, but we can try and handle how we perceive it all. We can grab ahold of our own offense before it wreaks havoc. We can try.
We are imperfect people who serve a perfect God, and the closer we get to Him, the closer we’ll get to seeing the truth of it all. Jesus is the only answer, and it sounds so rudimentary, yet it’s the fix we’re all craving. The cure for what ails you. The balm for your pain and the example for which we try and replicate. We can actually hurt others less as we walk in His way of thinking.
The things we can’t take with us we have to stop putting so much value in. And the things we can take with us, in them we must place more. We have to turn the other cheek, pray for those who hurt you, and walk intentionally to not hurt back. It’s not easy.
Let go of pain by grabbing hold of Him. Stop focusing on the fleeting things by seeking the eternal things. Find healing by looking for it in Christ rather than man. Surrender to Jesus; don’t collapse under the strain. It’s not easy.
Step 1. Spend time in prayer daily.
Step 2. Spend time in the Word daily.
Step 3. Spend time with other believers regularly (but don’t place your worth in them).
Step 4. Spend time in quietness of heart and mind listening for His wisdom and will.
Step 5. Spend time in the Word daily (purposely repeated for emphasis).
You cannot save yourself. Your family cannot save you, nor your friends. Your job, wealth, health, and security cannot fix your life. It’s not fair to those you love to place the responsibility of your happiness solely on their shoulders. Because they will let you down. Remember that the next time you lash out. No one can fix you, and you can’t fix anyone. Only Jesus. I’m sorry to upset what you’ve always been told. You see, the world tells you another person is the key to your joy, but that’s just not how we’re made. You can find happiness, you can find companionship, but you’ll only find healing and wholeness in the Lord. And that’s enough for now.