- I think most people as they grow older and have children of their own, will decide there are some things their parents did that they will choose to do differently with their own kids. It’s a constantly evolving, learning process. Your parents said the same thing when they started to raise you, and your kids will likely say the same about you, no matter how hard you try to make it different. There are some things you say you’ll never do. You vow to do it better. You say, “there’s no way I’ll let my kids watch movies that my parents let me see” or perhaps, “I will not let my child play alone all day in those woods by herself!” It makes you wonder if your parents worried about snakes, pedophiles, broken bones, or teen pregnancy at all.
- They do deserve props, though, right? We certainly were no angels to raise. When my children are driving me crazy, I think of my Mom doing it with four of us. I think of my phase in childhood where I was a habitual liar. I think of my little sister who was constantly going ninety to nothing, back before the word ADHD and the meds to fix it came along. Back then Moms just dealt with it, put em outside, and hummed insanely to themselves. Raising a tiny human is a serious job! As Chloe gets older and starts to ask lots of questions, I’m confronted with the reality that I’m in charge of molding her little mind into the person she needs to be. Today she was showing me a new dance move and started incorporating what looked like karate. She said, “When somebody is mean to me, I’ll kick em like this.” I was pretty surprised, having no idea where she learned such a thing. I proceeded to try and teach a miniature lesson against violence, and in favor of kind treatment to others, Golden Rule, being like Jesus, etc. It seems like every day holds these little opportunities for life lessons. It can be an overwhelming responsibility if you think about it too long or hard.
- When I was a kid, I remember when we’d be driving and see a turtle in the road, that my Mom would stop. She always, without fail, did this. She would pull over and help the turtle to cross the road, and prevent its demise from a speeding car. She did this even if we were in a hurry or had groceries in the back. There may be a few things I’ll say I want to do different, but when it comes down to the important stuff, my folks did a fine job. I learned the best lessons when they weren’t even trying to teach me anything. I watched my parents love each other like they were teenagers. I remember seeing my Mom write love notes to my Dad when their work schedules would keep their paths from crossing. When either made a mistake, the other was quick to forgive, and the sun never set on their wrath. All our animals as kids were rescue pets Mom saw on the side of the road, and couldn’t abandon. They taught me to love, and to love unconditionally. I find myself saying things to Chloe that sound like something my parents might say, and that usually makes me smile. I may not get it completely right, but I will do my best. I won’t try too hard to make everything an educational assignment, but will definitely let my life and my actions be a continuous lesson to my little ones. To this day, if I see a turtle crossing the road, I have to stop. If my girls can learn love, humanity, and self sacrifice from me, and remember it always, then I have done my job.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- I think when I decided to join the military, there were a lot of people not sure if I was cut out for it. My Dad thought it was a terrible idea. He had been in the Army, and had less than perfect memories of his time in service. He was protective of me, and I think had some fear for my safety. It wasn’t war time when I enlisted, but as a veteran, he knew that could come anytime. My preacher at the time thought it was a terrible idea and had no problem telling me so! I respected his opinion, but my decision was made. My only supporter, really, was my Mom. She had been a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy, and as with nursing, among other things, it just seemed natural to follow in her footsteps.
- The most surprising thing happened. I seemed to fit into the military world very well. Have you ever seen Forrest Gump? Here’s a quote from the movie:
Forrest Gump- Now for some reason I fit in the army like one of them round pegs. It’s not really hard. You just make your bed real neat and remember to stand up straight and always answer every question with “yes drill sergeant.”
Yes, it was a bit more complex than that, but I indeed fit like one of those round pegs. I was good at taking instruction, following it, and following it well. I remember once on a deployment cleaning the dirt out of the metal ridges you see on the lip of a step. I cleaned each stair from the bottom of the ship to the top, with a toothbrush. When they inspected my completed job, I was rewarded for how well I had done by being allowed to do it on the other end of the ship.
3. I will never forget boot camp. I have special memories of “ice cream socials”. This is when our RDCs (you can call it a drill instructor) would PT or drop us (make us perform extremely strenuous exercise) while sitting in front of us consuming delicious ice cream that we could not enjoy. Who could forget when they would have us “make it rain.” This consisted of making us PT inside with the air off. Our sweat and body heat from the activity would form condensation on the ceiling. When enough condensation collected that it would fall back down upon us, we could stop. We would have successfully “made it rain.” I could probably tell stories for hours. This short post will not do my time justice. I made good friends. I learned valuable lessons. I made good memories. There are some things I saw, casualties of war you could say, that I would rather forget. But overall, my experience in the service is a priceless piece of time I will always cherish. I think it made me a better person, and I know it made me a better nurse.
Happy Memorial Day!
That is all π
As a side note: My RDC in boot camp, when finished with instruction he was giving us, would always say, “that is all.” So now you know where my ending line originated.
3 Facts for the Day
- I had the opportunity today to assist in the care of a patient who was a slave to her addictions. That may sound like a strong description, but what other way can you describe a habit that consumes you so completely, that it will kill you. Instead of looking at all the bruises, cuts, dirt, and human excrement with disdain or an air of superiority, I felt humbled. I felt grateful that Jesus saved me.
- This morning something made me think of an acquaintance. I remembered a few different things I had heard about them, things that would make me want to judge their character. I was reminded that things I’ve heard about someone, don’t define who they are. I figure people have heard plenty of things about me over the years. I thought, “Imagine if people assume they know me based on those things?!” I’m sure a lot of it might have been true at one time or another. I have no shame over that though. The important thing is God saved me and changed me for good. I’m no longer what rumors or stories paint me to be. I’m no longer what my past actions proclaim as my character. I am redeemed.
- A wonderful song by Matthew West , called “Hello My Name Is”, came to my mind. I like the entire song, but one verse especially rings true. It says:
I am no longer defined
By all the wreckage behind
The one who makes all things new
Has proven it’s true
Just take a look at my life.
I looked at the disheveled patient in the bed with severely bloodshot eyes, and knew it could just as easily have ended up being me laying there.
I thought of the guy with the colorful stories that littered his past, and hoped he could move beyond it. Then I thought, maybe he already has. Maybe he’s been made new as well. It’s not really my job to profile him based on his actions. That’s between him and God. My hope is that when people see me now, they see a brilliant light shining from within me. Maybe they knew me before, and will want to know what happened to turn me around. I won’t regret my past or poor decisions I made. Rather I will be grateful that it’s all done and gone. I will hope that God can use it, that others can see what a transformation can be. If you ever want to talk about it, let me know.
I’m including a link for the song I mentioned.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- Well, surprise, surprise. I’m tired today, but I can’t blame the baby. That kiddo was still snoozing soundly when I got up. For some reason I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept waking up repeatedly. I would look out the window expecting to see sunshine, but it would still be dark. I was a clock watcher, and I hate that. When I got up, I was overcome with a sense of dread. I just couldn’t figure out what was bothering me! I didn’t know what had kept me awake, and what was making me feel worried when I woke for good. One thing I know is that panic, dread, worry, and similar feelings that try to consume you, are not of God. So I prayed for His Holy Spirit to come and calm me, and speak to me about why I was feeling like I was. It’s amazing how when you ask for stuff like that, there is a noticeable change almost immediately. I felt calm. He brought to mind a reason why I likely didn’t sleep well. He also spoke to me about an issue I was concerned over. These thoughts came calmly and straightforward, without fear. When they come that way, solutions are usually easy to see, instead of being camouflaged by worry. I left the shower in a different state of mind than I entered it.
- I’ll go ahead and put a smile on your face at my expense. Last night before bed I was playing with the baby. Like a novice, I lifted her up in the air above my head, to make her giggle. She proceeded to spit up right in my eyeball. I’ve gotten it down my cleavage numerous times, but this was a first. I just busted out laughing at myself. That child is amazing. She is getting so big. She doesn’t look like a little baby anymore. She looks like a big baby. I know. You’re amazed at my eloquent, descriptive text of my child. I pulled out the extensive vocabulary on that one. It’s true though. She is also doing so much more, noticing everything, and following your every move. She almost always has a smile on her face, and if you smile first, she definitely will. I sometimes think she’s part bird. When she gets excited or wants to be picked up, she will flap her arms and open her little mouth very wide. She sucks her thumb, and instead of worrying about future orthodontics, I think it’s adorable. She puts it in her mouth all the time, even between spoonfuls of cereal and swigs of milk. She has captured Mommy’s heart for sure.
- Tonight at work, when I went to the bathroom, my patient became frightened when he couldn’t see me. His monitor made an alarm noise that scared him. So, he called 911. That’s right. An intensive care patient who has someone paid just to watch those monitors that frightened him so, felt no option other than to dial 911. I had shown him the call light a couple of times. That apparently wasn’t good enough. He wanted to see a nurse in his range of sight. Afterwards, he asked me why he wasn’t assigned two nurses to watch him. I tried to explain there was a monitor tech and other nurses only a call light away, but he didn’t understand. Sigh. It is at moments like this that I must put myself in the patient’s shoes. While the beeping noises are commonplace to me, they are scary to him. When fear grips you, common sense cannot prevail. I have to keep that in mind, especially in instances like this one. Now that I’m home, it’s even laughable.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- Most Fridays I try to get everything in order for anticipation of a weekend at work. I make sure the laundry is folded, dishes are done, etc. I don’t know why I insist on this. It’s not like I’m expecting a visit from the Queen or anything while I’m out. I guess I just want everything organized and completed so it won’t be a problem for others while I’m away. This morning I knew I had dishes to wash and put away, and clothes in the dryer waiting to be folded, but I put it off. I asked myself, “What exactly will happen if I don’t fold the laundry?” My answer to self was “nothing really.” With my wild and crazy, cavalier attitude in place, I decided to enjoy a beautiful day outside.
- I had bought a small, inflatable pool to set-up in the back yard. I decided to go ahead and get it put up today. Chloe was ecstatic! The second I had it flat and started putting water in it, she was all in. She was overjoyed and completely motivated to make today a swimming day. Even as I explained to her that the water would be very cold, and would take a while to warm up, she still forged ahead. Even as I saw her little lips shivering, she insisted she wasn’t too cold to enjoy the water. It made me wish I could approach life with the same zeal that Chloe does. Just jump right in, she does. Step into the water, and wade out a little bit deeper. I let her play some, but continued to question her about being cold. Eventually she conceded, and admitted defeat to climate control. I held her close in a fluffy towel, allowing the sun to warm us both. I guess even the most adventurous, and least inhibited ones still need to be held close in a big towel.
- I am consistently working to be the best wife and mom I can be. Ben may not be talking, but I can usually count on Chloe to let me know where I’m falling short. This morning we were taking a bath together when suddenly the baby awoke and started crying. I told her I had to get out and get the baby. She sighed and said, “I am so tired! I’m tired of everything!” I recognized my own words right away. I know I had only said that once in a moment of exasperation, but once is all it takes with a two year old. She even used my same tone of voice. It sounded horrible! There’s nothing like hearing regretted words, that you’d rather forget, come out of your child’s mouth. I explained to her that I wasn’t tired of everything, that I actually enjoyed my life. She replied, “Well, I’m tired. I could take a nap.” This response did give me some hope that she didn’t truly understand my words, and I said a quick prayer that she’d forget them. Parenthood, it’s always a learning and growing process. Today’s lesson, guard your words. You don’t mean them, so don’t let them fall out of your mouth. Check. I hopefully won’t need a repeat lesson.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- It’s funny how the small things can affect you so deeply. Today I went outside to put some stickers on the back of the new van. I’m talking about the little stick figure stickers that you see people put on their vehicles to signify their family. Some people may think they’re kinda silly, but I’m not bothered by that. I think they’re adorable. I had them on my last vehicle, and definitely wanted them again on this one. This time around I got to change it up. I changed the baby figure of Chloe to a little girl figure, and added another baby to the happy little family. When I saw the little family stuck to the back of my van, it reminded me of just how blessed I am. For some reason, at the time, those stickers spoke to me stronger than a family portrait could. I just felt happy at that moment, so full, so content.
- Today God spoke to me about my perspective. God calls us to lay down our life and follow Him. Quite often I’m so concerned with how circumstances are effecting me and what I want them to be. I can easily forget about what He wants them to be. When I chose to live my life for God, I agreed to follow His will for it. So the circumstances in my life are no longer mine alone. I may be where I am in a situation because that’s where He wants me to be, or that’s where I’m most useful for His kingdom. To look at things this way will banish a lot of the complaining that’s easy to fall into. By remembering that my life is His, I can focus more on how my circumstances further His work, rather than how they’re not working for me. By turning control over to Him and focusing on what I can do for His people, He is more able to work things perfectly in line for us both. I hope this doesn’t sound as rambling as I’m afraid it does. He made it perfectly clear to me, but how it comes out is a different story.
- I’ve still been able to enjoy having Ben come home at a decent hour. Tonight he grilled burgers for us. It was delicious. I fed both children before I got my plate, with the hope of eating in peace. I think that’s just unheard of in mothers and I should just accept that fact. I cannot recall the last time I sat down and ate a meal in its entirety without getting up to get something for someone else. Actually I can. It was when Ben and I went out on a date a couple of months ago, and ate at a restaurant. At home, though, it ain’t happening. I sat in the floor with my plate so I could be at eye level with a baby in a bumbo seat who was ready for bed. In between bites, I made silly faces and sillier sounds to keep her occupied. At the same time, I had a two year old climbing into my lap, sticking her hand down my shirt, and asking for food from my plate (even though she just ate). I scarfed down my burger without a thought to my surroundings. It’s simply commonplace. I guess it’s good I’m so full of that happiness I spoke of above, since I can never finish my plate. I’m smiling as I write this.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- The past couple of days have been so busy that they’ve really gotten us out of our routine. That’s not to say we have a strict routine, per say. I’m not sure if there’s such a thing, and if you say there is, you’re either trying to sell something or you’ve been ingesting the wrong kind of mushroom. What I’m saying is the tiny shred of a semblance to a routine that we strive for daily was disrupted over the past two days. Neither Chloe nor Bailey were allotted the time or atmosphere conducive for naps. I know the Master Sleep Ninja (Chloe) wasn’t too bothered, and her protege (Bailey) didn’t seem to mind either, but their foul moods by day’s end told Mommy another story. Sometimes life happens. It’s like a drunken relative showing up unannounced at a dinner party. They’re family, so you pull them up a chair, but the whole time you’re worried what’s gonna happen next. I try not to get too bent out of shape by broken routines. Life’s curveballs usually make for the best memories later on, or at least make for a good story. The drunken relative usually maintains exceptionally well, and their jokes add an interesting flavor to the night.
- Even though I like to make the most of the unexpected, I’m always secretly glad for a return to the mundane (if there is such a thing). It’s like how you love going on a trip, but enjoy getting back to your own bed. The slowness of today allowed me the ability to fall back into our daily routine. I was distraught yesterday when I realized it was 4 pm and Chloe had only eaten fruit snacks all day! I tried not to beat myself up over it. It had been a crazy day. I was glad, though, to be able to fix her eggs for breakfast. Bailey had cereal and fruit. I wanted to get her nice and full in anticipation of returning to a three hour nap time. Once you fall off the wagon, it’s hard to get back on. It’s even more difficult if you got someone grabbing your leg and pulling you down. If Bailey was metaphorically being pulled off the nap wagon, then it was no doubt caused by big sister. I put Bailey to sleep four times today. Chloe woke her up four times. I think it’s a conspiracy to keep me from cleaning house. Chloe is a closet hoarder and wants her dirty clothes, toys, and discarded paper plates and juice boxes right where she left them. (You know nap time is the only time I can clean). I am strong and powerful though. I still reside over this kingdom, and eventually naps and dishes were completed (kind of like a routine).
- One thing has occurred out of routine that I just love. I’ll actually miss it when things get back to normal. Ben’s work has been closed this week as they prepare to move buildings. He has still worked, but not until 9 at night. Today he came home around 4:30. It felt like a special treat. It wasn’t just having him around to help with the children. It was more than that. I truly enjoy the company of my best friend, and I miss him when he’s not here. It’s nice to have extra time together. We went for a ride in the new van. There wasn’t anywhere we really needed to go. I just wanted to drive it. We ended up going for ice cream. Yes, we went right before dinner. Sometimes a break from routine is indeed a sweet treat.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- I simply adore how God is capable of turning a negative into a positive. If you didn’t read my post yesterday, or even if you did, I’ll recap briefly. I took our SUV into the dealer to fix a recall and discovered that the bottom of my vehicle was a rusting death trap waiting to happen. I was pretty upset over the situation initially, but felt a peace fall over me pretty quickly. Ben and I discussed it and prayed over the situation, and felt it was best to cut our losses and trade our jeep in for something else.
- I have wanted a larger vehicle for some time, especially since the baby has joined us. When we have Ben’s oldest daughter too, it’s really tight with the two carseats. We have been putting off getting something bigger for financial reasons. We’ve just dealt with the inconveniences of a smaller family vehicle, in addition to its other problems. I’ve told y’all about the air conditioning only having one setting, the constant engine light on since we bought it, and this latest pulling all over the road business. We dealt with all this rather than fall into a large car payment that we weren’t sure we could afford. I’ve been wanting a minivan, but felt certain we couldn’t make that kind of payment (and have a reliable vehicle). I’ve prayed several times for a minivan. Don’t laugh at me. I talk to God about everything, and sometimes that may include a desire for a better family vehicle. I prayed last night that he would help us find the best vehicle for us at the best price. I prayed for wisdom to know it when we saw it. Before bed I thought to look online. I had a vehicle just jump out at me. I showed Ben and did some research. I finally fell asleep about 2 am, with an attitude that we would just have to go and see.
- I am so excited right now. I feel like a child on Christmas morning, or on their birthday. I have a beautiful minivan. It’s exactly what I have been wanting, but even better. It was the one I had found online last night. This morning I just felt like that was the one, but I wasn’t going to get my hopes up. If it smelled like cigarette smoke, it was gonna be a no! And that comes from a former smoker. I hate the smell now. We looked at other used vans as well, but none could hold a candle to the one we picked. It’s funny. Some of the other vans were more expensive, but not as nice as the one we chose. The one we got has all the bells and whistles. There’s a DVD player for Chloe, and Ben just keeps opening the side sliding doors with the remote. I guess we’re both like kids with a new toy. We got a wonderful vehicle just right for us at a great price. It was definitely a prayer answered. God knew this was the right time and the right van for us. I am still grinning, and feel beyond blessed.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- Today started like any other. I woke up by the sound of my baby alarm clock. I fed my girls. We bathed. We dressed. Nothing unusual to indicate a variance from our typical routine. I knew we had a few minor errands to run, such as the bank, pay a bill, pick up a prescription, and drop the jeep off for a recall repair. I remembered late last night that I made an appointment to have the vehicle worked on. Ben is usually off on Mondays, and I knew he’d be able to help with the girls while we waited for them to fix whatever minor problem the flyer from the dealer was talking about. I realized last night that Ben would be working today, and I would need to revamp my plan. I was grateful to discover my mother-in-law could come get us from the dealership instead of us waiting there. They told me it would only take an hour, but an hour with a 2 year old and a 5 month old is a long time.
- We made the most of our time at my mother-in-law’s house. We ate lunch and enjoyed good conversation, but I knew she had things she needed to do. So after 2 hours had passed, I called the dealership to enquire on the status. It seems the minor recall had something to do with the rear suspension. I am not very mechanically inclined, but I hoped that would help with a pulling motion I had experienced while driving on the highway the prior week. I had mentioned it to Ben and my Dad, describing it “like being blown by a strong wind”, but there was no wind that day. The guy on the phone came back after putting me on hold. He explained that when the mechanic went to remove the rear suspension arms, that the rusted bolts simply broke apart, all of them. He then asked if I could come in and look at a few things on the vehicle. When I arrived and saw my vehicle in the air, the first thing I noticed was the pile of rust on the ground. They then showed me the damage, unseen under my car. There was rust everywhere, not just the normal amount, but enough to corrode some important stuff. A tire rod had broken, among other things. The mechanic had seen the carseats, and knew he had to show me. Even I could see that it wasn’t good. After the tour of the remains of the titanic, they agreed to put together an estimate and I went to the rental department.
- I felt two things as I walked to that window. The first thing I felt was dread over how we could manage to pay for such repairs. It made me feel worried and overwhelmed. The next thing I felt was awe over how my Lord had protected us. I pray daily for His protective hand on us, but I suddenly felt unworthy of His faithfulness to us. I was humbled that He would protect us so much. After I gathered my rental keys, I briefly updated my mother-in-law, to include the figure they had thus far for the parts, but not labor costs. I cried as I spoke. It wasn’t the monetary figure that made me weep. It was the realization of God’s hand on my family. I’m not sure how we will proceed from here. We definitely have some important decisions to make. What I love is that because we have given our lives to God, this is not something Ben and I face alone. It is nice to feel peace rather than fear. I asked a family member to pray for us as we decide our next step. I also asked her though, to praise Him for His protection.
That is all π
3 Facts for the Day
- You know you’re working hard when you let out a sigh of relief when you sit down to pump breast milk. If you’ve ever pumped, you’ll understand. It’s not that it’s a tortuous experience, but it’s definitely not a leisurely, enjoyable task. So if I consider going to pump as a pleasant break, then you know it’s been “one of those days”. You know it’s “one of those days” when you wish there was a backdoor to your patient’s room, since you glimpse people just waiting for you to come out so they can ask you to do something else. You look at the closet longingly, hoping against hope, that it is a portal to another place. Heck, it can be Narnia as far as your concerned. As long as it’s far, far away, you’ll take it. When your patient’s family members manage to find you in the employee break room, it’s probably been “one of those days.” When you consider yourself lucky to have eaten 1/2 of your lunch, it’s probably been “one of those days.” If when you arrive in the morning, and all of your patients have a wet wash cloth on their heads as they hover over an emesis basis, it’s gonna be “one of those days.” If you feel like a personal servant or hand maiden, rather than a professional, then it’s definitely “one of those days!” If you long to hear a please or thank you, then I’m sorry, it’s most likely “one of those days.” Yep. I’ve had “one of those days.”
- I encountered a fella today whose personality struck me the wrong way. My first impulse was “what a jerk!” As I spent a little more time thinking about it, I concluded that I really didn’t think he meant to come across that way. Different people have different personalities. Just Friday, I had reflected back on an encounter I had that day, and I thought I could have responded differently. I sometimes may see someone out, and I’ll smile and say hello, but not start up a conversation. It’s not that I’m unfriendly or don’t like to talk to folks. It’s just my personality. My husband once described a lady like this: “I think you’d like her. She’s like you. She looks mad a lot of the time, and doesn’t speak, but she’s not mad.” I didn’t even realize my own husband saw that about me. Then this morning I encountered a girl who always seems to have it all together. She’s the kind that always looks perfect and never forgets to write a thank you note. (I consistently forget those)! My initial reaction wanted to be perturbed at such presumed perfection. (Presumed by me, not her, I’m sure). I had to stop myself, and remember that we are all different with different personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. I prayed two things. One, for God to help me have a friendlier personality that lifts others up. Two, for God to help me see others through His eyes and not my own. I am a work in progress. Feels good.
- When I pulled into the driveway, I could see Ben through the window. He was walking around, holding the baby. I thought that might indicate a fussy baby. He confirmed that she had been a little on the fussy side, crying unless he held her and entertained her. After we had settled in, and everyone had eaten (Bailey included), we went to watch a movie. Bailey laid on the bed, content, simply playing with her feet. Ben asked “How can she be so content after being out of her mind all day?!” I replied, “I boobified her. Can’t you do that?” He just smiled. Yes, Mommy has a secret weapon. Feels good to be special, and really good at something.
That is all π
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