You need to find a man that makes you crazy. And vice versa.
I smiled as I read the text that came in on my phone. My heart fluttered a bit, to be honest. I always liked the fact that it still did that.
I texted him first, you see. I had spent the past four days off with my spouse, and by ten in the morning, as I spent the day at work, I realized I was missing him. So I reached for my phone, and I sent a simple yet honest message.
I love you so much!!
I could immediately see the bubble of response coming my way.
I love you too!!
And then another text followed.
When I was young love usually gave me butterflies. It made me tingle, and sometimes I even felt as if I could fly. A captivating romance would ensue for a full three months before the butterflies turned to slugs and my propeller stopped spinning. Crash and burn. I guess I wasn’t really flying; I was just gliding on good feelings.
Feelings. They’re important for sure, but sometimes emotion-driven romance can fizzle easy. It burns with passion, but then it doesn’t. A love built on physical attraction will fade as fast as beauty, but a crazy love, well, that’s different.
My husband thought it was crazy.
I’m so happy when I’m with you! It’s crazy!
I smiled at his words because I knew exactly what he meant. After four wonderful days together, I could totally relate. Infatuation grew boring, but love that held fast as the years zipped by, it was crazy.
When I first reunited with my husband (before we became husband and wife), I just thought I knew what crazy was. I mean, it felt crazy amazing when we first kissed. It was one of those sultry smooches that you feel like a lightening bolt, all electric, even down to your toes. At that moment, sitting in my parents driveway, thirty years old, but feeling like a teenager, I melted. I seriously melted. It was crazy! Or so I thought.
I guess the really crazy part came later. It came after the proposal, which I must just stop here and say, was crazy amazing. Or so I thought. It even came after the wedding. Which, subsequently, was also crazy like a dream come true. I mean, my face hurt afterwards from smiling so much at my man in a tux. But I just thought I knew crazy. The crazy came after the honeymoon. After the first pregnancy announcement. The crazy came in secrets uncovered, addictions brought to light, problems of the past raised again, and all the tears that followed. But that wasn’t the crazy part. The crazy part actually came with the healing.
When you can love someone past their flaws, despite your own, and draw closer, it’s crazy.
When you can love someone more than your own wants and desires, it’s crazy.
It’s crazy because you serve out of love, not obligation.
It’s crazy because you forgive since you were forgiven.
When you can love someone despite the ups and downs of life, it’s crazy.
When you can build a love that caresses in infatuation yet desires more than flesh, it’s crazy.
When you can invest in a love that thrives on passion, but sees beyond skin deep, it’s crazy.
One definition in Webster for crazy is described as “extremely enthusiastic,” and if you can build a love like that on dirty diapers, late nights with a newborn, and a pile of bills, that’s crazy.
It’s crazy because you’ve built a relationship centered on Jesus, not circumstance. The circumstances of life have lush hills, but also dry valleys. When you can love through a drought, it’s crazy.
It’s crazy because each day is better than the last. Regular, ole TV love will fizzle out, it will dwindle down as the years pass, the flesh sags, and the confidence falters. But crazy love? Oh, crazy love is like a fine wine. It gets better with age.
Each day I love my husband more. Just when I think I will explode if I felt any more affection for him, my heart surprises me, and I love him more this moment than the one before. That’s crazy.
It’s crazy because it’s a love that doesn’t grow fatigued when things seem the same. It always finds new joy in each step of life together.
It’s crazy because it’s not selfish. Everything in life is selfish, right? But crazy love looks at the other person’s needs. It’s not being used, it’s being useful. It’s holding another person in such high esteem that you put their needs before your own. There’s too much worry in today’s world that says we must look out for ourselves first, and make sure we are appreciated. But in all the focusing on self we become blind to the person beside us. No wonder marriages are failing. We’ve forgotten how to love selflessly, how to love our spouse like Christ loves the church.
People thought Jesus was pretty crazy too. He came to serve mankind. He came to forgive. He came to show the love of the Father. And it’s crazy!
When you can love despite trial, love despite change, and love in a way that is greater than yourself, it grows into a beautiful thing. Christ-centered, selfless, and overflowing in love. Each day can be better than the last, the kisses can still be electric, the spark can still ignite. You can find your greatest joy in time together, and your most fulfillment in making the other person happy. It’s crazy, but you can see beyond your needs, and instead tend to the needs of your spouse. You’ll find they reciprocate your actions.
You can be enthusiastically excited about your marriage, like it’s the first time, but with the longevity of a lifetime love affair.